Tears of the Broken (13 page)

“
I
know I do, Ara. I’m your best bud. Now stop worrying about this
David guy being a creep and just let him like you—if that’s what he
wants to do. I mean, you like him too, right?” He sounds so mature,
so unlike my Mike—my fun-loving and carefree Mike.

“
Yeah? I like him, but—”

“
But what? Are you telling me you don’t want
to be close to
him
, to hold his hand or kiss him?” he spoke in a mock girl’s
voice on the last bit.

“
Well, yeah? I do, kind of.” I shrugged, scraping at the wood
grain on my desk again.

“
So, what if you actually did that? Would it
be creepy to follow through on the things you truly want to do,
Ara? If you feel this way, then there’s a damn good chance this
David guy does, too. And, do you think
he’s
creepy?”

“
Mike, you make too much sense.” I sighed.

“
I
know,” he said with a laugh, “but you do the same to me when I’m
having a girl crisis—so we’re even.”

“
Yeah, how are things on that front, anyway?”

He
groaned loudly. “Don’t even ask. I am never dating again, Ara.
They’re all the same.”

“
Hypocrite.”

“
Yeah, I know.” The smile on his lips came through with his
voice.

After a moment of light laughter the happiness fizzled out
quickly. I sighed and leaned on my hand, looking at my stack of
homework. “I should go, Mike.”

“
Okay, kid. Well, keep ya chin up. I’ll come see you in a few
weeks, okay?”

“
Yeah, that’ll be great.”

“
Okay. Talk to you later.”

“
Bye.” I hung up the phone and pouted. The room feels empty
now, almost like I just caught the first vortex back to reality—a
reality where I’m alone. Always alone.

Dad
waited for me at the bottom of the stairs as I glided down in
response to the dinner summons. “Ara, there you are. I’ve been
calling you. What took you so long?”

“
Sorry, Dad. I was reading the compulsory books for English
class—I had my earphones in.”

“
Any
good ones?” Dad smiled, dropping his concern.

“
Eh.” I nodded and rolled my shoulder forward.

As I
sat down at my usual spot beside Dad, I smiled at Sam and hugged my
cardigan over my shoulders. I had to put it back on as the sun
started to drop behind the house, casting cold shadows across my
bedroom floor.

Sam
pushed his vegetables around his plate with his fork and for the
first time ever, didn’t smile back at me. Poor Sam. I wonder how he
feels about suddenly having a permanent sister after fourteen years
of being an only child. If it’s bothered him, he hasn’t acted out
or anything. I’m grateful for that—but something seems to be
bothering him tonight.

Dad
reached over the table, grabbed Sam’s cap by the front and hurled
it on to the ground without saying a word. Sam quickly ruffled his
sandy coloured hair back into place and shrugged, holding out his
hands, but abandoned protest quickly and went back to pushing his
food around on his plate. Weird.

“
So,
Ara met a boy today.” Vicki looked at Dad as she stood beside me
and served a pile of peas onto my plate.

Dad
winked at me, and I smiled. “He knows,” I said, “he already
interrogated him.”

“
I
did not interrogate him. Whatever gave you that impression?” Dad
asked.

“
I
saw you talking to him—in class.”

“
Oh,
um.” Dad scratched his brow. “Yes, that. Well, I might’ve
threatened to kill him. A little.” Dad grabbed the salt and
sprinkled it all over his dinner.

Vicki glowered at him. “You didn’t? Greg, how’s the poor girl
supposed to make a life for herself here if you scare off all the
kids that look at her sideways?”

“
That was more than a sideways glance, Vicki.” Dad chuckled.
“I used to be a boy myself, remember.”

Vicki shook her head and sat back down, snatching the salt
from Dad’s hand and gently slamming it on the table. Dad reached
for it again, and without so much as looking at him, Vicki moved
the salt away. Dad pouted like a little kid that just lost his
lollypop.

“
It’s okay, Vi—er—Mum,” I said. “His
grilling didn’t work, anyway. David still walked
everywhere
with me.” I
grinned at Dad, who pressed his lips together and
nodded.

“
David? As in…David
Knight
?” Sam sat up in his chair and
grinned.

“
Yeah. So?” I shrugged.

“
Well, he’s a nice kid.” Dad nodded, focusing on his plate. “I
don’t think I’ve ever heard sultanas about David.”

“
Sultanas?” My forehead twitched as one brow involuntarily
rose. “Dad, is that some kind of weird teacher lingo?”

Sam
stifled a giggle.

“
Actually—” Dad grinned, “It is. Sultanas are bad gossip on
the grapevine, and grapes are good gossip.”

“
So,
where do sour grapes come in to it?” I said.

Four
long lines formed across the top of Dad’s brow. “You know what? We
don’t have one for sour grapes. I’m going to bring that one up in
the lunchroom tomorrow.” He nodded, spooning casserole into his
mouth.

“
So,
no sultanas about David, then? That’s good?” Vicki said, “Must be
rare?”

“
Oh, yeah, it is. We teachers scamper about
the halls, unnoticed—the underdogs in the society of mutually
disagreeable tyrants. We get some good gossip and believe me—” Dad
turned his head to the side and glared at Sam, “I hear it
all
.”

Sam
shuffled in his seat and Dad looked away, chuckling to himself.
Vicki and I exchanged glances. “Okay. What have you done, Samuel?”
Vicki asked—sounding kind of bored. She folded her napkin and
placed it on the table, while her gaze flicked between Sam and
Dad.

Dad
shook his head, laughing still.

“
Nothing.” Sam looked her right in the eye; she focused
intently on him for a moment, then looked down at her plate. Sam
sighed with obvious relief.

“
You
might as well tell me, Sam.” She looked up at him again and an
eerie calm swept over her. “I will find out—one way or the
other.”

Sam’s relief froze into fear. “Why do I have to be the only
kid in school with a human lie-detector for a mother?”

“
Spill it. Now.” Vicki poked the table with her
finger.

“
I
got a lunch-time detention today.” Sam looked down.

“
Why?” Vicki asked.

Sam
stayed quiet. Dad looked at him with one eye narrowed slightly,
then picked up the salt again.

“
Sam!” Vicki took the salt off Dad, her eyes
never leaving Sam’s face. “Whatever it is, I
will
find out. So you might as well
tell me now.”

Dad
laughed into his plate as Sam stewed in his own nerves. “I got
caught sneaking into the girls’ locker room,” Sam muttered into his
chest.

Dad,
unable to hold back any longer, burst into a loud, burly laugh and
had to cover his mouth to stop the food from falling out. I looked
at Vicki, unsure if I should laugh or not, but a smile crept across
my lips. Vicki stared coldly at Sam, who didn’t look up at her.
“Greg, I can’t believe you weren’t going to tell me?” Dad’s
infectious laughter spread over the whole table. I laughed, then
Vicki started, too. “What on Earth were you going in there for?”
she asked Sam.

“
It
wasn’t like you think.” Sam’s cheeks went bright red.

“
Oh,
sure. No. A fourteen-year-old boy goes into the girls’ locker room
to buy a sandwich,” Dad joked.

Sam’s teeth clenched. I feel a little sorry for him. He
obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Vicki should be able to
see that. I’m sure she thinks she’s just making light of the
situation, but I feel a sudden urge to protect—something I’ve never
felt for Sam before. “So, Dad?” I said. “You know my friend from
Australia—Mike? He said he might come over in a few weeks. Can he
stay here?”

“
Here? You want a boy to stay here?” Vicki jumped in, her eyes
wide.

“
He’s not a boy,” I corrected, “he’s a man.”

“
A
man? Oh, well, that makes it okay, then,” Vicki joked. “How old is
Mike now, anyway?”

“
He’s twenty,” I said, unthreatened. Sam
mouthed the words
thank you
to me and went back to pushing his food around on
his plate.

“
Twenty? Ara, you’re not even eighteen yet. It’s against the
law.” Vicki frowned.

“
Vicki?” I raised my voice, disgusted that
she said that, especially in front of Sam. “Mike and I have
never
been like that
with each other. God, we used to take baths together when we were
babies.” I shook my head and looked at Dad, silently pleading with
him to intervene.

Dad
sighed. “Vicki, Ara and Mike have a long history. You know that. I
don’t see a problem if he wants to come and stay.”

“
Thank you,” I said to Dad, then looked at Vicki.

She
closed her eyes for a second. “I’m sorry, Ara-Rose. I’m just not
used to having a daughter. I—” she looked at Dad and breathed out,
“—I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“
Well, I appreciate that, Mum,” I said with a mouthful of
carrot, “but you don’t have to worry about Mike. There’s like, this
invisible barrier around him that repulses me from loving him that
way.”

She
nodded. “Well, all right. But when does he want to
come?”

“
As
soon as he gets his acceptance into Tactical—in a few weeks,” I
beamed.

“
What, the SWAT unit?” Dad asked, holding his fork near his
mouth.

Sam
sat up, his eyes filled with excitement. “Cool. Guns.”

“
Yeah—that’s not what they call it over there, though. But
he’s got one interview left, then he gets a few weeks off before
the training course begins.”

“
Well, that’s great, Ara.” Dad smiled. “It’s what he always
wanted, isn’t it?”

I
nodded, swallowing my food. You should know. You talk to him more
than I do, now. “Yep, he’s doing well for himself.”

“
Shame you don’t like him then,” Vicki added.

“
Nah, he lives in Australia, anyway.” I shrugged. “Could be a
bit tricky.”

“
At
least you couldn’t get pregnant,” Dad said with a completely
straight face.

My
eyes widened and I stopped chewing. Sam coughed and spat a carrot
out onto his plate, but Dad just sat there, eating and sipping his
wine as if nothing had been said. I lowered my gaze and
concentrated on my fork—trying to hold in a laugh. That’s enough
talk for tonight.

Chapter
Five

Sinking peacefully into the soft quilt on my bed, I drifted,
floating in that blissful moment between sleep and awake, where you
can see your dream and feel the reality of life, then magically
allow them to merge.

As
my breathing slowly became deeper, everything in the now
disappeared. Here, in this place—my halfway world—I can be with
David in any form imaginable. Tonight, I’m his
girlfriend.

I
drew a deep breath and settled into the fantasy.

The
golden warmth of the summer sun kissed my skin and lit everything
around me with a yellow glow.

“
Hey
there, beautiful.” David landed beside me on the grass.

“
Hey.” I smiled and, with each petal I pulled from the daisy,
whispered, “He loves me, he loves me not.”

David wrapped his hand over my fingers, crushing the flower
slightly. “Don’t do that.”

“
Don’t do what?”

“
Don’t say
he loves
me not
.” When he smiled at me, the sun
seemed to become brighter—warming my toes and my legs until the
heat spread right through my entire body and burned my
cheeks.

God,
he intoxicates me. I don’t understand it—he’s just a boy. But I
know what I feel—and I
feel
him. I want him.

A
shrill screeching ripped me from my daydream like a slap with a
cold fish. I sat bolt upright in my bed—my hair a tangled mess,
ruffled around with the sleeplessness of lustful
thoughts.

The
phone continued to ring across my room. Nope. No way. Shaking my
head, I flopped back down as it rang out. I want to stay in this
world, where it’s just David and I—together.

The
sunlight of my fantasy wrapped its warm beams around me again as I
stood beside the tree in the field. “David?” I called.

He’s
gone. Where did he go? You can’t just disappear from a
fantasy.

“
Ara-Rose?”

I
turned slightly and looked behind me. “Mum?” With narrowed eyes,
squinting against the glare, I walked toward her. “Mum, is that
really you?”