Tear In Time (18 page)

  They
both sat in quite for a moment and thought about the strange story. The heat of
the fire warmed their faces and hands as their minds wandered. Finally, Dr.
Morgan spoke in a serious tone.

 
“David, something has been on my mind for some time now. I’m curious: have you
given any thought of what your effect on the future and history might be? We
are not men of status, but we are of influence due to our occupation as
surgeons. My presence here is accountable, but your presence, unfortunately, is
not, and therefore anything you do could chain react a sequence of events that
might impact the future,” Dr. Morgan said, trying to be as delicate as
possible.

  “My
presence here has weighed heavy on my mind for some time now, doc. 
Unfortunately, the reality of my situation is that I am indeed changing the
future. Every life I save might be a life unaccounted for that will impact
generations to come. The effects could be as dramatic as they are devastating.
Unless I step in front of a speeding train and end my life now, we must accept
this change. I don’t know about you, but suicide is not in my genetic makeup,
so my only recourse is to tread lightly and be conscious of everything I do,”
David answered, trying to be equally as delicate.

  Both
men stared in consideration of the other from across the fire. Their exchange,
while short, was deep with profound implications. By the glow of the fire, both
continued to ponder David’s presence and reconcile within themselves a course
befitting of their conscience.

  David
watched Dr. Morgan’s face transition from one emotion to the next while in
search of answers. He analyzed the old doctor’s expressions and could tell he
was engaged in the same activity as himself. A smile spread across his face as
he realized the old doctor and he were on the same wavelength, as their facial
expressions occurred nearly in parallel.

  “Penny
for your thoughts, doc,” David said,

  “I do not
believe they are worth that much, David,” Dr. Morgan replied in modesty.

  “Doc,
I can tell you are struggling with this topic as much as I am. I feel a bit
embarrassed that I’ve drawn you into such a moral and ethical dilemma. If your
conscience is challenged, I’d understand completely if you’d want to remove
yourself from the problem,” David said sincerely.

 
“Nonsense, David. I could not live with myself if I turned my back on my fellow
man. Life is filled with challenges that we must overcome. I do not welcome
battles, but my conscience will not abide shirking them once engaged,” Dr.
Morgan stated with conviction.

 
“Thanks, doc,” David replied simply, then continued, “I’ve been thinking about
this from a variety of standpoints. With every solution I come up with, I’m
faced with the same moral dilemma: I just can’t sit back and watch a man die,
knowing I have the skills to keep him alive. When I see a soldier suffering, or
any man suffering for that matter, I am compelled by my conscience to help him.
I just can’t detach myself from this because I am a threat to established
history,” David stated.

  “I
agree, David,” Dr. Morgan said to David’s surprise and relief. “You didn’t ask
for this. This was thrust upon you. You must maintain your morals, your
character, in spite of the impact to mankind. Mankind has existed for thousands
of years and will survive for thousands more, not because of what we do here
today, but regardless of what we do here today,” Dr. Morgan said. “The fact is
we really don’t know if the history you have reported hasn’t been set by a
prior visit already.”

  David
thought about Dr. Morgan’s ending statement. He repeated it over and over as he
tried to make sense of it, “Prior visit already?… visit already?… Doc, I’m not
sure I’m following,” David replied.

  “Lad,
how do we know that this is the first time you visited this time period?
Obviously, the optimum arrangement would be for you to return at the precise
moment you left, but what if you couldn’t make it back? What if this is a cycle
that’s been repeating itself over and over, with you being born, travelling
back in time to meet me, we live our lives forward, we die: you are born again
in the future only to travel back in time to meet me again, so repeating the
endless cycle over and over. This could be the hundredth time the cycle has
been repeated, with you impacting the same events over and over,” Dr. Morgan
theorized.

  “Wow,
I never thought about that, doc,” David said as he thought about the old
doctor’s theory. Just then, he thought of something. “Doc, here’s an
interesting question. That statement assumes I don’t return back at all, but
what would happen if I returned prior to the point that I travel back in time
from? I could actually tell myself not to go back in time and break the cycle,”
David said, with a slight smile.

  “Hmm,
I suppose you could,” Dr. Morgan replied. He thought about the problem a
moment, then continued. “But that is assuming that the laws of time allow for
you to exist in multiple forms at the same time and at the same location.”

  “I see
your point – doesn’t seem likely. So what you are theorizing is that time won’t
allow you to be copied,” David said simply.

  “I’m not
sure if it’s a matter of being copied. I just think the laws of nature will
prevent such an event from existing,” Dr. Morgan continued. “I don’t believe a
time traveler can visit himself. I think if you did, you would instantly vanish
while your indigenous self would continue to exist. Now that I’m really
thinking about it, I think you’re going to have to return after the time you
left. It sounds like that is the only safe time to go back, although I suppose
you could possibly return at an early enough date that would allow you to die
before you were born, but that seems too complicated too.”

  “So
what you’re saying is I can’t reappear in a time when I’m already existing,
otherwise I, the time traveler, will vanish… Wow, that is one HELL of a theory,
doc,” David said in admiration. “If it’s true, that really complicates my
return dramatically. It looks like returning after the point that I left really
is the only way. But how am I going to tell if I’m returning beyond the point
that I left? Even if I arrive just a split second before I left, I will
disappear.”

  “I
don’t think you’ll entirely disappear though, David. Your indigenous self would
continue on completely unaware of the anomaly,” Dr. Morgan added.

  “Yes,
but if my indigenous self travels back to this time period, the cycle would
repeat itself over and over as you theorized. Man, that is really freaky,”
David replied, now a bit frightened of his return.

  “We’re
going to have to get it right the first time to break the cycle, otherwise this
will occur over and over, with us making the same choices, because no one will
be there to instruct us otherwise,” Dr. Morgan said.

  “Boy,
you want to talk about pressure?” David replied sarcastically.

  “Have faith,
lad. I’m confident we’ll see the clear choices at the appropriate times,” Dr.
Morgan assured as he passed the jar of moonshine to David.

 
Accepting the jar, David said, “Cheers.”

 
“That’s the spirit,” Dr. Morgan replied, then added quietly, “Pun intended.”

TT:
Chapter 6

Aug 9th,
1862

  Off in
the distance, a distinct gallop could be heard. As the horse drew near, Dr.
Morgan looked over to David with a knowing smile. David scratched his beard,
which had grown unchecked since his arrival, and squinted up ahead at the
horseman that rode toward them with determination. David looked over to Dr.
Morgan and nodded in quiet recognition of the approaching rider.

 
Through his long white beard, Dr. Morgan's smile quickly vanished, as he diverted
his attention back to Gen. Negley, who rode his horse at an alarming speed.

  “Dr.
Morgan, what is it? Is something wrong?” David asked, seeing the old doctor
stiffen his posture a bit.

  Still
staring straight ahead, he replied, “Something’s wrong. Jim never pushes his
horse that hard.”

  Dr.
Morgan was not a man easily rattled, and this sudden display sent fear and
apprehension through David's body.

  “Doc,
what is it? Are we in danger?” David asked anxiously.

  “I
don't know, lad. Jim rarely drives his horse at such great speeds unless there
is unexpected work to be done,” Dr. Morgan replied, looking around, observing
his field of vision with great intensity.

  David
joined him in search, then replied, “What are we looking for, doc?”

 
“Johnny Reb, lad: the enemy,” Dr. Morgan answered stoutly.

  David
swallowed hard. He remembered the intense fear he felt two months prior, when
he first arrived. Now his body began to shake as he glued his eyes to the
general, who was closing fast. Just feet from their position, the general
pulled hard on the reins of his horse and leaned far back in the saddle to
overcome the force of his forward momentum. Snapping the reins to his left, he
quickly spun his horse around and matched the speed of the marching column of
troops and supplies, riding slightly head of David and Dr. Morgan.

 
“Doctors, we are about to engage the enemy. General Banks has his men in
position, and is waiting on my deployment. Find a suitable location of
infirmary behind us. I believe I took notice of a farmhouse a mile back or so.
His doctors will be joining you shortly,” Brigadier General Negley ordered, his
tone implying the seriousness of the situation.

  With a
quick nod between the two old friends, Gen. Negley and Dr. Morgan snapped the
reins to their horses and parted in opposite directions. David snapped the
reins to his horse as well, trying to suppress his overwhelming fear of
impending death. As he galloped up beside Dr. Morgan, his legs began to shake,
and he instinctively pressed them against his horse, subconsciously feeling the
need for the comfort of a living touch.

 
“David, we've joined with another brigade, and I'm anticipating a great deal of
wounded. I'm afraid we are at a great disadvantage by the tone and urgency of
Gen. Negley’s voice,” Dr. Morgan yelled over the sound of their horses
galloping.

  “Are
we in danger, doc?” David asked, his mind racing with fear.

“Only if we
are overrun by the enemy, lad. Keep your wits about you and try to remember
what I taught you about discharging your weapons, both long rifle and sidearm,”
Dr. Morgan instructed.

 
“Controlled and deliberate, I remember. Do you think we’ll see any action?”
David asked as he reached down and touched his Government Issue 1860 Colt revolver,
holstered to his hip. It had belonged to the same lieutenant who had owned
David’s uniform before him.

  “I
doubt we’ll be in any real danger, but we are about to see more action then a
man can imagine. If I read the general correctly, we’ll be inundated with
casualties for a couple of days, I’m afraid, and with little time to prepare I
fear we won’t be able to administer proper treatment,” Dr. Morgan said as he
scanned the road in front of him.

  “What
do you mean by proper treatment?” David asked.

 
“Without time to find wood for fires and without our resupply of medical
provisions, including alcohol and bandages, we’ll be forced to operate in
unsanitary conditions,” Dr. Morgan shouted over the gallop.

  David
nodded to the old doctor in understanding as they galloped along the side of
the road, avoiding the column of troops heading into battle. David searched
their faces as he rode. The seasoned soldiers understood the sight of doctors
on horseback hurriedly riding against a column. The signal of an impending
battle spread an eerie calm amongst the troops as they internalized their
prospect of death. As the two rode to the back of the column, Dr. Morgan
ordered a detachment assigned to his care to follow him in preparation of the
impending battle. All too soon, the safety of the larger force was no longer in
sight.

  A
short time later, just as the general had stated, the tiny column came upon the
abandoned farmhouse. As Dr. Morgan gave orders in preparation for operating,
they stood momentarily still in their tracks as they heard the sound of cannon
fire sounding the start of the Battle of Cedar Mountain, Virginia. Far behind
the front lines, as General Negley engaged in battle, Dr. Morgan engaged in a
battle of his own as he frantically staged the area for the wounded.