Authors: Brooke Williams
Jed watched tears brim up in Sadie’s eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered as she took a step forward and tentatively wrapped her arms around his waist.
Jed paused and then placed his arms around her narrow shoulders. He felt an even bigger jolt than he had the last time they had touched. There was something about this woman that just fit. He was terrified that this would be the last time they would speak.
When Sadie pulled back, Jed leaned down towards her to reaffirm what he had said before. “I hope to hear from you,” he said, nearly raising his hand to stroke a strand of hair from her face.
Sadie smiled sadly and rose up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. Jed left the small studio apartment with the feel of her lips burning on his face. He wasn’t soon going to forget how her soft lips felt against his skin. Somehow, a woman who had been a virtual stranger just two days before had found a way into his heart. She was residing in a corner and taking up more space every time he saw her. Her daughter had space as well and Jed turned around before he left not to see Sadie, but to get one more last look at Ellison.
As the door closed behind him, he heard Lindsey say, “So that wasn’t the father, huh?”
Ellison was only five days old and already Sadie could tell that she was strong willed. Sadie put off buying too many baby supplies because she simply didn’t have the money and didn’t have the room for any of them. She had a few onesies and plenty of diapers, but that was the extent of it. She decided to nurse Ellison for convenience and cost, but she knew she was going to have to figure out a new plan once she found a good job.
The biggest problem, however, was their living situation. Sadie had tried not to think about it in the hospital, but she knew having a newborn in the studio apartment was going to be a problem. It was one thing to have her own sleep interrupted, but when Ellison interrupted the sleep of two other people who were not her relatives and did not love her as Sadie did, it was an immediate issue.
“Can’t you DO anything?” Lindsey asked the first night when Ellison cried for nearly an hour as Sadie paced the small apartment floor.
“I’m trying,” she said, tears in her own eyes. She was overwhelmed and she knew it. She had a new baby to care for, very little to her name, and no one to help her. Her roommates had given her a place to live when she needed it and she was grateful, but beyond that, they were not compassionate people.
On the third night, Sadie knew that Lindsey and Alice were at the end of their ropes. They talked quietly back and forth while Sadie attempted to calm the baby. They no longer shouted at her to stop the crying or to do something. Sadie was certain they were about to take action on their own and she was afraid.
As she bounced her daughter up and down, slowing the crying at last, she began to pray.
Lord,
she prayed silently,
you know I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But none of that is Ellison’s fault. Please help me to protect her. Help me to give her the things she needs when she needs them. Guide me to the right place, Lord. Provide for us.
Sadie didn’t know what else to say. Her situation was dire and becoming more desperate by the minute.
She found out the next day what Lindsey and Alice had been whispering about when Alice announced that she wanted Sadie to leave immediately.
“You and the baby have to go,” she said coldly without looking up from the newspaper that lay in front of her. Alice was always searching for a new job and usually got stuck with strange hours so her sleeping was about as varied as Ellison’s. But when Alice was home, she needed to sleep and Sadie understood that.
“I know it’s not ideal,” Sadie replied, trying to figure out a way to make things easier for all of them quickly before the situation spiraled downward even farther. She didn’t even have a crib. The few times she got the baby to sleep, she simply laid her on her own bed and then propped her pillow behind her so that she would not risk rolling over on her daughter while they slept side by side.
“I don’t think you understand,” Alice said, glancing up at Sadie and making a face at Ellison. “You’re out. Today. We can’t live like this.”
“But…” Sadie began, grasping at straws. “What about rent? How will you get by?” She knew Lindsey and Alice were nearly as desperate as she was, moneywise. But at least they didn’t have anyone to care for but themselves.
“I met a girl at my last job. Needs a place. Willing to pay double your share. She’s moving in tomorrow. You need to go today.”
Suddenly, Sadie felt the rage of a mama bear swell up inside her. “You knew my situation when you allowed me to move in,” she said as she stood up, protectively hugging Ellison to her. “You knew I was pregnant. What did you expect?” What did her roommates want her to do? Live on the streets?
“We knew,” Alice admitted. “And we needed the rent. But now we can get that from someone else.” She shrugged unapologetically. “And we’ll be able to sleep again.”
Sadie could tell there was no swaying her, but she couldn’t resist one final question. “What are we supposed to do?” she asked quietly, wondering if she’d get an answer at all.
Alice looked up from the paper once more and gave Sadie a look as if the answer was obvious. “Call her father, I guess.” And with that, she folded up the paper and wandered to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
Sadie was glad she left the room. She needed time to process the information. She was being kicked out of her apartment. With no notice. She had nowhere to go and she had a baby in her arms depending on her. She wanted to tell Alice that she wasn’t going anywhere. She wanted to ask what Lindsey thought of the situation. Lindsey wasn’t her ally, but she had a kinder heart than Alice. But in the end, Sadie knew it didn’t matter. Alice’s name was on the lease and hers wasn’t. It was up to Alice who stayed and who went. If Sadie didn’t do as Alice said and remove her belongings, she would likely go to the manager and complain that Sadie had overstayed her welcome. She would be officially kicked out. She wouldn’t put it past Alice to do just that and she didn’t want to put her little girl through any undo drama.
But that didn’t solve her problem. Where was she going to go? What was she going to do? Sadie thought about Alice’s suggestion to call Ellison’s father. Sadie knew that was a possibility. He could easily bail her out of her money problems, but would he? He didn’t even know she had gone against his wishes and kept the baby in the first place.
Fear might force him into writing a check. After all, though he hadn’t wanted the child, Ellison WAS his. And if he didn’t support her quietly, Sadie could always take him to court and force the issue, revealing her daughter’s paternity to the world. But at that point, she didn’t want anything to do with him. She didn’t want any more of his money and she didn’t want him to know her daughter. The very daughter that he hadn’t wanted.
No, Sadie decided. She could not call Ellison’s father. Not now. Not yet. The time for him to learn about his daughter’s existence might come later in her life, but that time was not now. Certainly not because Sadie needed money.
Sadie rocked back and forth, soothing Ellison as she folded a few of her little onesies and stuffed them in the bottom of the stroller. She only has a small suitcase herself and she lived out of that. Packing didn’t take long. She suddenly wanted to be anywhere but there. She wanted to get as far away from Alice as possible. She didn’t even want to say goodbye to Lindsey. She just wanted to put space between her and the situation.
She would have to make a phone call. It was not one she wanted to make, but she didn’t see any other way at that point. Once she had Ellison in the stroller with all of her worldly belongings below, she rushed from the apartment to the convenience store around the corner. She stuffed a quarter into the pay phone, took the slip of paper from her pocket, and dialed.
“Jed?”
“Brenda, I need a favor,” Jed said as way of greeting his cousin.
“Nice of you to call, Jed,” she replied with a laugh.
“Yeah, fine, hi, how are you going and all that jazz,” Jed retorted, anxious to get to the point.
“Okay, I get it, it’s important. What do you need?” she asked.
“Do you mind if a friend of mine stays in your spare room for a while? Until she gets back up on her feet?”
“She?” Brenda said with interest.
“Yes, she,” Jed replied, knowing he was going to get the third degree.
“Tell me more!” Brenda’s answer was enthusiastic. Jed knew she wasn’t going to give him an answer without hearing the details.
“Have you seen the news lately?” Jed asked. Brenda, a busy stay at home mom of four, hadn’t. She rarely got to see a commercial, much less an entire news cast. Jed filled her in on his newfound fame and on the fact that the new mother had just gotten kicked out of her apartment and had nowhere to go.
“She doesn’t have any family?” Brenda asked, feeling as if Sadie would be more comfortable staying with someone she knew.
“It doesn’t seem as if she does,” Jed replied, shaking his head. “I mean, if she did…why would she call me?”
“Of course she can stay here,” Brenda relented. Jed knew full well she would allow it if it was at all possible. She had a servant’s heart and she would pull over to help a squished spider if she could.
“I promise it won’t be for all that long. She’s too proud to take charity. She’ll want to pay you rent and she’ll definitely pitch in around the house. She might even give you a break from the kids.”
“There’s no way I’m saddling her with these four,” Brenda spoke over the noise that was continuously in the background of her life. “She has enough to deal with with a newborn and trying to find a job and all that.”
Jed agreed, but he didn’t want to downplay her strength. She reached out to him for help, but he knew it was only temporary and likely only because she had Ellison to consider.
“Thanks, Brenda, I’m going to pick her up now.”
Jed hung up the phone, grateful to his cousin. He would have asked Sadie to stay with him, but he didn’t feel that it was proper. He didn’t know anything about the father of the baby and he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about them. He was still virtually a stranger to him and she already meant more to him than he would like to admit. It wouldn’t be right to insinuate himself into her life and he didn’t want to go against any of God’s rules if he could help it.
The best thing Jed could do was set Sadie up with his cousin and then see what he could do about helping her find a job. Once she had a steady income, she could find a place of her own and get a few more things for Ellison. In the meantine, she would be set at Brenda’s. Brenda had four children, the youngest of which had just outgrown her crib. Sadie would have not only a crib, but plenty of clothes, toys, bottles, and other necessities. There wasn’t a better place in the greater New York City region for her to stay.
Jed was quick about leaving his own apartment to get Sadie. He had a night class later that evening, but until then, he was free. There was always studying, but he could catch up on the train ride to school. He didn’t have a cab that afternoon, but he could quickly reach Sadie by train and then ferry her to his cousin’s house by bus. She lived just outside the city in a nice little suburb.
During the train ride to the store in which Sadie waited for him, Jed began to think about what he was feeling for the new mother. He wasn’t sure why she had such a draw on him but he was certain that there had been no sound he wanted to hear more than her voice on the other end of the line. The fact that she had called him gave him endless joy until he learned that she was in dire need of help. Then his joy turned to grave concern. She was young, a new mom, and obviously out of her league.
His heart went out to her and he felt like he needed to do everything he could to help her. Jed likely would have felt that way for just about anyone in her situation. But for some reason, he also felt like there was more to it. Something about the way she looked at him and the way his heart lurched in his chest when he held Ellison told him that this time, he wasn’t going to let her walk out of his life so easily. She had called him for help and he was going to give it to her. But he wanted more. He wanted to play some kind of role in their lives. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet.
When Jed arrived at the little corner store, he could tell he had gotten there none too soon. Ellison was crying and Sadie was trying to comfort her while pushing the stroller out of the way in one of the narrow aisles. The sales clerk looked annoyed and a few of the shoppers were even giving her looks.
“Thank goodness,” she said, looking totally overwhelmed by the entire day. She pushed Ellison into his arms and got control of the stroller. One of the wheels was stuck under a shelf and she just wasn’t able to free it with a screaming newborn in her arms.
As Sadie wrenched the stroller free and pushed it outside, Jed realized that the store had suddenly become much less noisy. Ellison was silent in his arms and her big blue eyes gazed up at him with wonder. He could have stood in the middle of the small store all day looking at her, but instead, he followed Sadie outside.
“Okay,” she said in a no nonsense voice, “how did you do that?”
“Do what?” Jed asked, unable to remove his eyes from Ellison’s little face.
“That!” Sadie replied, pointing to her child. “She hasn’t been that quiet since before she was born. Other than when she’s asleep, that is.”
Jed smiled at her as her eyes gained another level of expression. She was studying him, that was for sure. Her balled up fist swung around in front of her, but her eyes said it all.
“Just lucky, I guess,” Jed said as they started to walk to the bus stop down the street.
“No,” Sadie said quietly, “I’m the lucky one.” She placed a hand through the crook of his elbow as she steered the stroller with the other hand. Jed tore his gaze from Ellison and looked down at her hand. He felt the heat of her palm burning his arm and it was the best feeling in the world. Other than the feel of the tiny baby in his grasp.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Sadie said, watching where she was going as she kept the large stroller on the right path. “This is above and beyond the call of any cab driver’s duty.”
Jed laughed. “I think we’ve moved beyond cab driver-passenger by now, haven’t we?”
Sadie smiled, a look of relief on her face due to the light hearted conversation in the midst of her serious situation. “Yes, indeed we have.”
The walk to the bus station was short and Jed was glad that he had made the trip to pick her up and take her to his cousin’s house directly. He could have simply given her directions on the phone, but he wouldn’t have gotten this time with her, and with Ellison. Since the baby seemed to enjoy him, Sadie didn’t ask to have her back the entire ride out to Brenda’s house. Ellison watched Jed and then eventually fell asleep. Once she was really settled in, Jed and Sadie finally got a chance to talk.
They didn’t get into the deep issues. Jed could tell that Sadie needed a break from the reality of her life. She just needed to chat and get to know him a little bit. Jed told her about his family, his schooling, his goals, and his job as a cab driver. He filled her in on the class he would be attending later that evening and even told her about his high school nickname. By the time the bus pulled up to Brenda’s suburb, Jed felt like Sadie knew more about him than most. And yet he still knew very little about her.
Since he didn’t know what subjects might be touchy, he decided to keep talking about himself. If she had wanted to dive into the details of her life, she could have interrupted at any time. Instead, she listened, asked questions, and relaxed. Jed also told her all about Brenda and her family so that Sadie would be prepared for the noise she was about to encounter and live with for the immediate future.
Brenda opened her door to the three of them with open arms. “Welcome to casa de loco,” she said, greeting Sadie with a smile and a hug. “Trust me, no one will hear that little baby over any of this.” One of Brenda’s four kids ran past screaming while the other three chased behind shortly after. “Now, show me that beautiful bundle.”
Jed leaned over so Brenda could get a good look at little Ellison. “Yep, she’s beautiful,” Brenda affirmed. “Ellison what?” she asked.
“Leida,” Sadie filled in without thinking. “Ellison Leida Walker.”
Brenda frowned and raised an eyebrow at Jed, who was certain his face showed a shock so thorough that even the people down the street would have recognized he didn’t know what was going on.
“I’m sorry,” Sadie said, looking from Jed to Brenda as they exchanged expressions. “I should have told you. I used your last name as her middle name after I saw you on TV. I wanted her to have something of the man who helped her into the world. I know I should have asked your permission first, but I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. And I just couldn’t stand the fact that you weren’t getting any credit for this beautiful little girl when you were the one who first held her.”
Jed could feel panic rising up in Sadie’s voice. She was explaining herself so fast it was evident that she thought he and his cousin were going to discard her over a simple name.
“It’s okay,” he interrupted, placing a hand on her shoulder as he shifted the baby over to Brenda so she could take a closer look. “Really, Sadie, I’m flattered.”
“You…you are?”
“Of course I am! I have a big family and no one has ever named anyone after me before. Can you believe it? It’s wonderful. I’m so flattered.”
Sadie smiled and Jed’s heart melted a little more, letting another piece of her into the corner where he knew she was already taking over.
“We know where she got her middle name,” Brenda chimed in as she moved into the house, “what about her first name? How did you come up with Ellison?”
“This house is beautiful,” Sadie said, avoiding the question by throwing out a compliment. “I can’t believe you’re letting me live here.”
“It’s not a problem at all. We won’t even notice a couple extras,” Brenda smiled as she quickly moved up against a wall to allow the screaming pack of children to pass.
Brenda gave Sadie a quick tour of the house including the guest bedroom in which she and Sadie would reside and the bathroom just down the hall that she could use.
“When I heard you were coming, I pulled out the bassinet so Ellison can sleep right by your bed,” Brenda said, gazing down at the sleeping baby that she was still holding. “But we have a crib up in the attic we can bring down any time. I’m pretty sure we’re done having kids, but we wanted to have a big sale when we were done with enough stuff.”