Tattoos: A Novel (15 page)

“Why does she need it?” I asked. I wasn’t able to clear the worry from my mind because I instinctively knew there was more to her gift than her gratitude.
 

Mrs. Mori’s eyes twinkled with pleasure. “You know already,” she said simply. It was evident from the expression on her face that she didn’t plan on explaining her statement.

“Okay, well thanks again, I really…” I started to say.

“The creatures that fill the air above our heads thank you too,” she said.
 

With a lantern in her grasp, she slipped past me and out the curtained opening that separated her home from the hallway. She moved with cat-like grace and I had to quicken my pace to keep up with her. For some reason I was relieved to see the light of day again, as if I was breaking free from a darkness that threatened to keep me in its depths. I turned to thank her one more time for the dragon, but she’d already disappeared back into the Tunnels.

In the fading light of the day, the dragon was even more magnificent than I’d initially thought. What at first had looked like one color of foil gum wrappers was in fact a combination of varying shades in green, red, gold and flecks of silver that when combined, gave the dragon the distinct appearance of having shimmering scales. Sharp fin like protrusions lined the back and were folded so fastidiously that they were needle like when I touched them. I half expected the foil to have punctured my skin.

I tucked the dragon in the carrier box of my bike. Mounted over the back tire, the carrier box was a handy remnant from when it had been a messenger bike. I hopped on the warped bicycle and pedaled away. For a fleeting moment I thought about going to the hospital to give the dragon to Marilee. When I saw that it was already past six, I knew I couldn’t. I had a gig in a few hours.

As I made my way home I was thankful for the sunny skies and unseasonably warm temperatures that the day had brought. I knew it wouldn’t last since it was November, but was grateful that the change had allowed me to take my bike to the Tunnels.

The air had cooled considerably by the time I reached my building. I was more than glad that I’d for the most part dodged the bracing cold. It would have been a hellish ride otherwise. Already the sky had turned iron grey and seemed to promise rain.
 

The door to the apartment swung wide even before I stuck my key in the lock. Gran, her face strained with worry, stood staring up at me. I couldn’t help but be anxious that something bad had happened.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly breathless. It felt as if someone had pumped all the air out of my lungs. Gran’s mouth formed an O, as if she’d just realized something. She shook her head.
 

“Nothing dear, I’m just glad to see you,” she said, placing a well-worn hand on my cheek. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. I hadn’t been around as much as usual, with all the time I’d spent at the hospital and all. Yet when I had been home I’d noticed a change in her. More times than not, her usual unflappable nature was clouded by tension.
 

Gran’s hand lingered on my cheek longer than seemed necessary. Once again I was apprehensive. I wondered if she wasn’t being completely honest and if she was keeping something from me. She, much like me, didn’t like to worry anyone with her problems. That meant that she would wait until the last minute to tell me if she was sick, or if there was a bill that needed paying, or just about anything that she deemed a stressor.

“Are you sure everything is okay?” I asked.
 

She blinked a few times, as if my voice had broken the trance she’d been in. Gran shot me a flustered glance then shook her head.

“It’s nothing, nothing at all, just an overblown imagination and…”

 
Her voice trailed off and she drifted into her thoughts. Now I knew for sure that something had her nerves in bunches. If I’d been any kind of half decent grandson I would have figured it out by now.

I moved inside the apartment, closing the door behind me. I stared down at the origami dragon that I’d all but forgotten. I placed it carefully on a shelf full of paperback paranormal romances that Gran loved to read. Although I was still stoked to give the dragon to Marilee, it had taken a backseat to what was going on with Gran.

 
Gran had slipped into a seat at the kitchen table. She was busy shuffling her tarot cards and hadn’t seemed to notice that I’d sat down across from her. She was halfway through reading her spread when I said her name. Gran flinched, clearly too into the cards to be aware of her surroundings.
 

“What has you so jumpy?” I said, covering her hand with mine. She closed her eyes and sighed hugely. It was as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Sensing Gran’s agitation reminded me one more time that my relationship with Marilee had taken up every part of my being. I’d neglected Gran, taken her for granted. Like a bookmark in a book, I’d expected that she’d always be exactly where I’d placed her, smiling and okay. I hadn’t bothered to notice that she’d been suffering all along.
 

“Runes, maybe the runes will do it,” she mumbled under her breath, as if I hadn’t even spoken. Runes were wooden circles with characters from the Runic alphabet engraved on them, and were another divination tool that Gran sometimes used.

“Seriously Gran, you’re scaring me, what’s going on? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, something definitely has you off your stride…” I paused. I swallowed a few times, trying to muster up the courage to ask her a question. One I was scared to get an answer to.

“Are you sick?” I said. My voice was lower than a whisper. Instantly my throat went sawdust dry because if anything happened to Gran…well I just couldn’t…

“Of course not,” Gran said. She released a laugh, so high and filled with amusement that it was like music to my ears. Her answer brought me to the next question on the list.

“Is it money, are there some bills that need paying or…”

She shook her head so vigorously that her curls bounced like a clown’s wig atop her head.
 

“No, praise God, we’re managing,” she said crossing her fingers, as if the act would protect us. Another flood of relief rushed through me. In my mind anything that didn’t involve her being sick or money problems was easy enough to deal with.

“Then what is it?” I said, leaning back against the frame of the chair. It creaked in response.

All the humor left her face and her expression went solemn again. She touched the cards that were spread out in front of her. Her twisted finger rested a little longer on the Page of Cups that sat next to the Tower. I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down my spine at seeing the damn Tower card again.
 

“There’s something coming, and I’ll be damned if I can figure out what it is. I’ve tried the Tarot, playing cards and…” Suddenly her face lit up. Then she was on her feet, digging through the cupboards.
 

“I haven’t done tea leaves in ages, that might be exactly what I need to do to see…” She tugged out a glass container, filled with loose tea leaves. She grabbed two fine china teacups that had delicate rose prints on their faces and matching saucers. Gran placed everything on the counter. When she plugged her electric kettle in I knew I was in for it.
 

I didn’t like that she had two cups out. A feeling of foreboding washed over me. Not only did I hate tea, since to me it tasted like a combination of burnt toast, dirt and grass, but I didn’t like doing fortunetelling stuff on a regular basis either. Sure I’d go along with it for special occasions like Birthdays and the odd time here and there but it was getting a little much. I didn’t make it a habit of getting too much into the future since I always had enough to deal with in the present.

“Gran, why are there two cups?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I didn’t hold out much hope that I would manage to dodge the proverbial bullet.

She spun around to face me. Her brow was creased in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time, not since…I shook my head reminding myself that that part of my life was over. I’d been given a chance at a new beginning and…

I glanced at the tattoos on my arms. I needed to touch and feel the images that gave me more solace than even I admitted. My tattoos were a testament to overcoming my past, and all the hell that had gone with it. I ran my fingers over the image of the Phoenix. It was midway between my wrist and the bend in my elbow. Its outstretched wings, in simple black with splashes of ruby red, tangerine orange and buttercup yellow, rose high above its regal head and gave the illusion of the bird being on fire. Beneath it, a slate grey pile of ashes was a study in contrasts. The few track marks that were still visible, trailed like grim reminders from the Phoenix’s tail.
 

Gran didn’t bother to answer me which in hindsight was probably a wise decision. Instead she dumped a heaping teaspoon of tea leaves in each cup and added boiling water right after. She placed the tea cups on the saucers and carried them to the table, laying one in front of me.

“Gran I hate tea and I don’t…”

 
She put a finger to her lips, shaking her head. It was her way of telling me that this was non-negotiable.

“I have a gig to get to,” I protested.

“There’s time,” she said, refusing to meet my eyes.
 

She laid a pitcher of milk in the center of the table then slipped into the chair across from me. Gran hunched over her cup, studying the surface as if it could tell her the secrets of the universe. I wondered if it could. Steam fogged her glasses, forcing her to remove them and clean away the moisture.

“So how’s work?” she asked nonchalantly.
 

I shrugged, not sure what to say. The question reminded me that I hadn’t actually told her about Marilee or that I’d invited her to Christmas dinner. The invitation had been something I was still kicking my ass for doing. Marilee came from money and prestige. She didn’t exactly belong in a cockroach ridden tenement building that was crumbling at the foundations.
 

I hadn’t even begun to imagine Marilee coming, but if that was actually going to even happen, Gran was totally out of the loop about everything. There was nothing I wanted more than to tell Gran about Marilee, but it seemed the time was never right. Besides, I knew that a lot could happen between now and Christmas.

“You know, the same old, kids get sick, kids get better.” I winced with my first sip of the tea. I had no idea how I was going to manage to get it all down.

“Well that’s a callous way to put it,” Gran said, catching my eyes with hers. “Have you forgotten that the ward is filled with people who are fighting for their lives?”

 
She glared at me over the rim of her glasses. I flinched at the sharpness in her tone. Gran almost never got pissed at me. This sudden and out of the blue attack made me even more curious about what was eating at her.

“You know it’s not like that, I just can’t get too involved…” I said, running a shaky hand through my hair. I hated being on the receiving end of Gran’s wrath, no matter how infrequent it was.
 

Gran deflated, bringing her gaze to the tea cup she cradled in her hands.
 

“I know better than to say anything like that, you’re a good boy Jackson. I was completely out of line,” she said, shaking her head. I saw in that moment that the age that hadn’t seemed to touch her through the years was catching up with her.

“It’s okay, it was kind of a lame-ass comment, especially since I never seem to manage to keep my distance like I always promise myself I will.”

An image of Marilee’s eyes flashed in my mind. Right then I wanted to tell Gran about her. I swallowed another mouthful of tea. I almost gagged it back up. To my utter disbelief I managed to get it down and was more than thankful that there wasn’t much left. The tea leaves that Gran had put in the cup had swelled to double their size and were now resting at the bottom. Gran leaned forward. She moved a stray piece of hair out of my eyes then grinned her dentured smile.

“I’m sorry for lashing out at you, but I have things on my mind.”
 

When I shot her a hopeful look she shook her head determinedly.
 

“And no, right now I’m not prepared to tell you what those things are. But if you could just humor me and let me do as you call it, my voodoo mumbo jumbo when I ask, it will help me a lot. I know there are no definitive answers in divinations. Sometimes though, if I’m lucky, they’ll give me a glimpse of a possibility.”

I nodded. I sucked the last little bit of the tea down. A few stray tea leaves made their way into my mouth and I spat them out in disgust. I wanted to believe that I wouldn’t ever have to drink the swill again, but I knew I would. As soon as I put the cup back down Gran abandoned her own cup. She snatched mine up, studying the leaves with a razor-tipped glare. In seconds her face went grave. Apparently she’d found what she’d been looking for, but it hadn’t brought her the solace that she’d expected. I would have been lying if I’d said that it didn’t bother me how she seemed so crushed by whatever was in my tea cup. A part of me wanted to ask her what she’d seen, while the other part of me, the rational thinker, tried to convince myself that a damn tea leaf in a shape had absolutely no bearing on my future.

She brought her focus back to my face, studying me like a hawk would its prey.

“It’s there again, this girl and how everything is going to change and…have you met someone?” she asked, giving me a probing stare. A chill ran through me because as only she could, she’d managed to hit on the one secret I was keeping from her. I wasn’t even sure why it was so important to keep Gran in the dark about Marilee, but for some reason it was. It was probably one of the strongest needs I’d ever had. It didn’t make any sense, not even to me.

“I meet people all the time,” I said trying to deflect her attention. Of course it didn’t work.

“Yes or no Jackson, this is important,” she said. Her hands found mine. She squeezed my fingers as if to hammer home her point.