Tango in Paradise (12 page)

How could one word contain so much wariness? “I’m handling this badly.” He shook his head as if to clear it and pulled her upright. Her legs still wrapped around his waist, he turned and sat on the desk, then pulled her more deeply into his arms.

Pressing his lips against her hair, he whispered, “What just happened between us was incredible. I’m angry because I took you like a rutting bull on your desk, for God’s sake.” He lifted her chin so he could stare into her now-illuminated eyes. “At the very least, what we just shared deserved a soft bed and clean sheets.”

April tightened her hold on him at the self-recrimination she saw in his eyes. If she ever doubted her ability to care deeply for someone again, that doubt was rapidly vanishing. He had to know she was an equal partner in what they’d just done, and where they’d done it. She searched for the words to tell him what she felt. Reaching
up to caress his jaw, then his lips, she said simply, “If it bothers you, then next time make sure there’s one around.”

Jack looked confused, then surprised. Soon a wide smile spread across his face and he pressed a hard, fast kiss on her lips. He shifted her so she sat astride his lap and locked his gaze on hers. He was still smiling, but his tone was serious. “Lady, you scare the hell out of me.”

April’s smile faded a bit, but she couldn’t keep the feelings that were flooding through her from showing in her eyes. “That makes two of us.”

Jack’s smile was tender, even a bit smug as he tucked a few stray curls behind her ears. “Well, what are we going to do about it?”

The cocoon aura they’d created with the suddenness and intensity of their lovemaking began to fade as reality reared its unwanted ugly head. “I don’t know, Jack.”

Hating the lost look that swept her features, he pressed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose, then another one on her forehead. He tucked her against his chest and stared past her out the window. “I want to be with you. I don’t think I can be here and not see you.”

April stiffened briefly at the thought of seeing Jack around the resort and trying to respond to him as merely another guest. He was right. She could never settle for that now. So what did that
mean? That they’d have an affair and then, when he went back to the States in a couple of weeks, say good-bye as if it had meant nothing?

The very idea was too painful to even contemplate and April forced herself to deal with the moment, not the future. Given her past, it was an almost impossible task not to try to protect herself. But she knew that if the alternative was ending their relationship now, she had no recourse but to go on. Pushing away all thoughts of their inevitable parting, she whispered against his chest, “I don’t think I could let you.”

Jack released the deep breath he’d been unaware of holding. Until she’d answered, he hadn’t realized how devastated he’d have been if she’d gotten up and walked away. The simple truth was he wouldn’t have let her, but he kept that to himself. He nuzzled her ear and said, “Then why don’t we go and find that soft bed?”

April felt herself clench as hot shafts of desire shot through her at the idea of spending the rest of the night with Jack. Yet the idea of calmly putting on their clothes and strolling to his bungalow or hers made her feel oddly embarrassed. Which was totally ridiculous, given the fact she had just been writhing under him on her desk.

She hadn’t a clue as to how to tell him this without sounding like a complete jackass or worse yet, hurting his feelings.

Thankfully, she was saved from the task when Jack leaned back slightly and said, “I, uh, I guess we have some cleaning up to do in here first though, huh?”

The sheepish look on his face was totally endearing, and she felt another piece of her heart slip away. She looked around at the havoc they’d wreaked and smiled. Partly in embarrassment, partly because it was just plain funny, she began to chuckle. Even in the semidarkness, she could make out the papers and file folders strewn across the floor, and she couldn’t swear to it, but that looked like her dress hanging from the yucca tree in the corner of her office. Unable to stop, she began to laugh, hard.

Jack made his own quick assessment of the destruction and began to laugh, too. Between gasps for air, he said, “Would it help if I told you that I’d be willing to file folders for the next week if we could do this again right here, right now?”

Gasping half in laughter, half in desire, she had the urge to say “the hell with the filing” and press
him
back onto the desk. Instead she held on to him until their laughter faded, then quietly said, “I don’t think that’s what they had in mind when they named it a ‘blotter.’ ”

Jack barked a laugh in surprise, hugged her tight, then stood up, holding her against him. “You have a wicked tongue,
mi tesoro
. Why don’t we get
dressed and clean up here, so we can go find out just how wicked it can be?”

Before she could respond, Jack leaned over and deposited her in her padded leather chair, then turned to begin rounding up their clothes. The awkward situation she’d feared was instead intimate, and she tucked her knees into the chair as she watched him stroll, unabashedly naked, around her office, slinging garments over his shoulder as he went.

Admiring the way the moonlight highlighted his sculpted backside and shoulders, April allowed herself to revel in the supremely sated feelings his lovemaking had inspired. There would be plenty of time for recriminations later, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to stockpile some great memories to counterbalance them.

Jack strolled toward her and she found her gaze riveted between his legs. No doubt she’d have,
plenty
of memories if the arousal he took no pains to hide from view was to be a normal part of their relationship.

“Arms up,” he commanded, his tone smug.

She complied and he slid her dress over her head. He clearly enjoyed being looked at, and that excited her. The silky fabric caressed her newly resensitized skin and she had to refrain from reaching for his slowly swelling manhood.

Amazed at the strength of the instincts urging
her to go to him again, she quickly stood, fumbling with the buttons tangled under her hair, and looked around for her shoes. His low chuckle and the sound of a metal zipper being dragged upward reached her ears at the same time. Neither sound served to calm her tightened nerves.

In silent companionship Jack scooped up the mess on the floor and heaped it on the desk, while April attempted to at least sort it into stacks. There was no uneasiness; in fact, the way they worked together without having to speak kept the cocoon intact. April didn’t dwell on the idea that Jack might fit into her life very easily if he wanted to. There was enough disappointment ahead, and building up hopes when she knew better would be painfully foolish.

Jack’s sudden question made her aware of just how foolish it would be.

“What were you thinking about when I first came in tonight?”

April neatened the stack in front of her without really seeing it, easily recalling the moment. The conversation she’d had with Smithson at the wedding played quickly through her mind, again. Now was definitely not the time to discuss that part of her past. Nonetheless it served as a timely reminder of just what she’d be risking by getting involved with someone whose life was firmly rooted in the States.

Especially someone like Jack. She didn’t know exactly what had sent him to the brink of burnout, but she’d bet it wasn’t shooting weddings. Adopting a light smile, she tried for a glib response. “Would you be greatly disappointed if I said I was thinking about another man?” She’d meant it as a joke, a wry twist on the truth. She’d forgotten Jack’s perceptive, miss-nothing gaze.

He rounded the desk slowly, resting his hip against the desk in a deceptively casual pose. “Who, April?” She started to turn away, but he caught her elbow in a gentle grip and tugged her back against him. “Who has you so tied up in knots that it took something as wild as what we have between us to unleash it?”

The undercurrent in his voice rocked her. If it had been jealousy she could have resorted to righteous indignation or wounded pride. Instead his tone had been one of fierce protectiveness, as if he wanted to know so he could run out and slay her dragons for her. She knew the idea was farfetched. She also knew she was right. And the temptation to let someone else fight her demons was so new, so overwhelming, she felt her knees begin to buckle under the strain of resisting the urge to give in to it.

Jack caught her against him and hugged her. Nothing could have prepared her for the effect that feeling his strong arms so firmly around her would
create. There was nothing sexual in the embrace. It was gentle, protective, solid. She could no more resist his offer of help than pull away from his sheltering embrace. Ten long years of building that wall, brick by brick, and here it had all come crashing down in one thunderous roar. Clinging to him, she began to tremble.

“What is it, April? Tell me!”

“I’m afraid,” she admitted, knowing he would take it wrong. He did.

“Of what? Who? My God, what have you been holding in all this time?”

She shook her head slowly, trying to sort out all the wild thoughts and images flying through her mind. Images of Smithson’s casual announcement at the wedding clashed with flashbacks of Markham’s face contorting in rage when she’d threatened to file charges. She saw again the lawyers pounding her with insulting, demeaning questions and the incessant flashbulbs blinding her every time she stepped outside. All the humiliation and degradation she’d been put through came back in such horrifying clarity, it was as if it had happened ten minutes ago, instead of ten years.

She clung to Jack, trying desperately to shove the whole thing from her mind, very much afraid that this time she wouldn’t be able to—because he wouldn’t let her. That was what frightened her. He wanted to help, but April sensed that if she told him
the whole ugly story, she wouldn’t have to worry about how their relationship would end.

Although she was clinging to him, Jack felt April struggle to pull herself together, and away from him. At least mentally. He’d never felt so ineffective in his life. He’d survived countless life-and-death situations. His ability to always remain clear and levelheaded no matter the crisis was partly what had won him so much recognition early on in his career. Locking his emotions away had been a struggle at first, but once he’d buried them, he’d never failed to get the job done, and it had eventually become a way of life.

Until now. The very idea that something was so horribly wrong in April’s life that it could reduce the strong, independent woman he’d made wild love to a few minutes ago to a vulnerable, trembling mass of nerves terrified him. Terrified him to the point that he couldn’t form a rational thought, much less come up with a sensible plan for calming her down and urging the story from her. And he’d built his entire career on his ability to do just that, for chrissakes!

Reacting purely on instinct, Jack swallowed his own fears and held on tightly, folding her completely in his arms. “It’s okay,
mi tesoro
,” he whispered against her hair. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me anything. But I swear I’ll do whatever
I can to help you. I want to help you. Let me in, April. Please, trust me.”

April continued to shake in his arms, and he wondered if she’d even heard him. Shoving aside every self-protective instinct he had, he vowed he would do anything, everything in his power to make her world right.

The realization that leaving her might have to be part of that solution made his eyes burn, and he viciously pushed the thought aside. If they had proven one thing tonight it was that between them, they had the power to obliterate her problems, at least for a while. And for now, that would have to be enough.

Jack pushed his hand under her hair and pulled her head back, bringing his lips down hard on hers, willing her to focus only on him. Her immediate response inflamed him and he kept on kissing her until he was certain she was responding to him and him alone. Only when he was certain her ghosts were no longer between them did he relax his grip and gentle his kisses.

Instead of pulling away, she began to push him back on the desk, and he let out a deep groan as her body rubbed against his. She kissed his face, his neck, and the bare chest exposed through his unbuttoned shirt. Her tongue and lips pulled at his nipples and he gripped her hips, pulling her down hard against him.

When she spoke, he went right over the edge.

“Jack, make love to me again. I need you.”

Without a second thought, he pulled her up into his arms, turned and sent the entire contents of her desk back to the floor, then proceeded to do just as she’d asked.

SEVEN

April had successfully managed to stay away from her office all morning, but Carmen’s urgent note made it impossible to avoid any longer. Crossing the compound to the side entrance, April glanced around at the expanse of lawn, which was empty but for a few guests. It was hard to believe the wedding had taken place here less than a week ago. Her mind automatically turned to Jack.