Tangled Up Hearts (16 page)

It was hard to reconcile that carefree Cole with the man he was now. She remembered how his thick dark hair was always falling boyishly around his perfect face and she'd fantasized so many times on running her hands through it. He had a very appealing, endearing look that could not be ignored and unfortunately, that had not diminished with age. And when he was slightly flustered, he had a habit of raking a careless hand through his hair, messing it up adorably and making her fingers itch to brush it back into order. His blue eyes were always dancing with a teasing light. His smile could melt an iceberg. And he had been so attentive to Trisha and herself that their friends were quite jealous. He wasn’t above treating them to an ice cream in the summer or taking them out ice-skating during his winter holiday breaks. In fact, it was Cole who had taught them how to ski. He even took them bowling on occasion or out to a movie. Yes, those first five years had been quite wonderful. So what happened to change it all?

For the first time since it all went wrong, Alyssa decided a careful review of their relationship was in order. Just when did things change?

The answer was not long in coming. The Christmas of Alyssa’s sixteenth year marked the beginning of an end to their friendly banter and easy-going relationship. Being an only child and spending so much time around adults, not to mention her intellectual grandparents, Alyssa was mature for her age. No doubt her few attempted romances were very few indeed because she was an enigma to the other students, especially the boys. She didn’t indulge in childish games and most of the boys in high school seemed quite immature to her. In fact, with the exception of Trisha and a few select others, she loved spending time with her teachers. Another thing that set her apart was her devotion to her studies. She tackled her schoolwork with a concentrated intensity that didn’t allow for the fun and games of youth. By the age of sixteen, Alyssa felt old. At least older than other kids her age.

It was that year she'd been particularly excited over Cole’s impending visit home for Christmas and she was determined to impress him at his parents' party. So with that in mind, she'd gone on a pretty intensive shopping spree. The fact her fashionably conscious mother had gone with her was how she ended up buying a dress that was probably inappropriate for her age. She knew that now but at the time it was exciting to wear something that made her feel older and beautiful. It was a black knit dress and it fit her to perfection. It didn't hurt that her figure was filling out quite nicely either!

Thoroughly enjoying their excursion, they went to the local salon and had their hair done. It was the last time Alyssa would ever cut her hair. The short sassy style added years to her young age. While she was still trying to decide what she thought of her new look, her mother insisted they stop by one of the large department stores for a full facial make-over.

Although Alyssa wore make-up, she'd never covered her face the way the cosmetician did that day. When she saw the result in the mirror, she didn’t even recognize herself. Although the girl staring back at her looked quite beautiful, she couldn’t quite attach herself to the image. As far as Alyssa was concerned, the woman had gone a little overboard. Although her first thought was that she should scrub it away, everyone at the store, including her mother, made such a fuss over her that she decided to go with it.

The cosmetician strutted around her like a proud artist admiring her masterpiece. “You have such classical bone structure, my dear. You should be a model.” With a gesture for her to wait a moment, the woman rushed off and when she returned, it was to give Alyssa’s mother a business card to a local photographer. She seemed to think the man would be interested in using Alyssa in some of the ad campaigns he put together for various clients. Though her mother had been excited at the idea, Alyssa flatly refused. She was uncomfortable enough wearing the make-up slathered on her face now, she couldn’t imagine doing it on a regular basis.

Still, despite her feeling that it was all a little too much, she couldn't wait to see how Cole would react to her new look. Surely he wouldn’t see her as a little girl now? The conviction was intensified by the reaction of those around her. Self-conscious though she was at all the compliments, Alyssa couldn't wait for the evening ahead.

To be truthful, as she thought back on it, she had been quite silly to even think that Cole, a man of twenty-three would notice a young girl of only sixteen years. A girl he thought more of as a kid sister. Never-the-less, Alyssa had attended the Christmas party with a young girl’s tender heart.

Trisha and her parents gushed so much over her appearance that she became all the more excited to see Cole. Would he see her as a woman? Would he be attracted to her? When she finally caught sight of him, her heart had given a funny little lurch and it was all she could do not to rush across the room towards him. Frozen in anticipation of his seeing her, she'd stood and stared, her admiration for him nearly bowling her over.

He was wearing a pair of black slacks and a white V-necked sweater. Alyssa thought he grew more handsome each time she saw him. Though not particularly shy with Cole, she had been overcome with it that night and it kept her from seeking him out.

She was talking with Trisha when a feeling of being watched made her skin prickle. Even before she lifted her head and spotted him, she knew it was Cole causing the sensation. Their eyes met and locked for several long seconds. She couldn't move and nor did he. Standing several feet away, at the entrance to the living room and leaning against the doorjamb, he stared back at her in such a way that heat infused her in waves. She felt a blush creep slowly into her cheeks and hoped it didn't make her look ridiculous when combined with the rouge she was wearing. Burning with awareness, her heart beat a mad tempo and somehow Alyssa found the nerve to give him a tentative smile.

Cole's reaction was confusing. He didn't smile back but nor did he make a move to join her. What he did do was straighten away from the doorjamb and narrow his eyes. Still, he continued to stare at her and Alyssa found she couldn’t catch her breath. His eyes were lit with an emotion she couldn’t name. Regardless, its effect on her was thrilling and, without even realizing what she was doing, she started toward him.

Nodding slightly, as if to clear his head of some unwanted thought, Cole turned from her and strode off into the room behind him.

Alyssa stopped dead in her tracks, struck dumb by his rejection.

Crushed by the blow, she rushed for the nearest bathroom and once she locked the door behind her, she looked with troubled eyes into the mirror above the sink. The stranger staring back at her did not accurately portray her true self. No, she was not the young woman in that mirror. She was just a girl. A stupid, foolish kid. What on earth had she been thinking to allow her mother to dress her up like this? She was nothing more than a child playing dress up. Cole probably thought it was all a funny joke. The thought made her wilt inside. She sank down onto the toilet seat and stared morosely at the tiled floor. How was she ever going to face him again? Had he recognized the look on her face when she'd stared at him? She could only pray that he did not guess at her secret yearning.

It took a long time for her to gather her courage and leave the security of the bathroom and when she finally did so, she did it with caution. At the entrance to the living room, she paused to scan its occupants and was relieved to see that Cole wasn’t anywhere in sight. A momentary reprieve. She still had the entire evening to get through. Then she'd noticed Trisha headed her way.

Coming to a stop a few feet away, Trisha looked up above her head and grinned with mischievous intent. “Hey, Cole, guess what Alyssa is standing under?”

Cole? Her heart pounding with dread, Alyssa turned and saw that he was only an arm's length away.

As one, they both looked up at the sprig of mistletoe. Her lips parted in an “oh” of surprise and she looked at him with trepidation charging through her. His face was hard as granite, his eyes blazing with irritation. There was nothing approachable about his expression. It was a look so unfamiliar on him that she became even more uncomfortable.

“It’s mistletoe,” Trisha said, her teasing voice pointing out the obvious.

It took a moment for Cole to say something and when he did, his voice was soft, nearly dead-pan. “So it is.”

Trisha moved closer. “Well? It’s tradition, you know, to kiss whoever is standing beneath the mistletoe.”

Alyssa was rigid with clamoring nerves and she felt her face grow hot as Cole stepped towards her. His light blue eyes looked glacial and it chilled her to the bone. A nerve twitched in his cheek. “Who am I to break tradition?” Though he spoke lightly, there was a hint of something else in his voice. Derision? Disgust? For sure annoyance.

Worried that he would see she was far more taken with him than he was with her, Alyssa lifted a shaky hand to ward him off. “That’s quite all right, Cole. I’ll just stand somewhere else.” She made to do just that but Cole’s hand touched her shoulder and held her gently in place. She glanced at him in confusion, her silly heart pounding like a frantic drummer in her chest.

“Are you running from me, Alyssa?”

The soft, low rumble of his voice made butterflies scatter in her stomach. "N...no."

Cole's gaze lowered to her mouth and then he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

Alyssa let out a breath she wasn’t even aware of holding. With a wan smile she stepped away from him and turned towards Trisha. “I think I’ll go get something to drink. Would you like anything?” Her cheek tingled from Cole's kiss and she had to fight against the urge to lift her hand and touch the spot with her fingers.

Trisha nodded. “Sure, anything.” She skipped past Alyssa, grinning ear to ear. “Now Cole is under the mistletoe.” She flung her arms around her brother and planted a sisterly kiss on his mouth. “I love you, Cole.”

Cole wrapped his arms around her and grinned back. “I love you too, sweet pea.”

Glad for the escape, Alyssa hurried away as confusion assailed her. Cole usually treated her with easy charm and a playful smile. Something had changed. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the way she was dressed, but she did know with certainty that Cole was not impressed.

He didn’t go near her the rest of the night. Their next awkward moment came when it was time to leave. As they did every year, Trisha’s entire family stood at the door to see everyone off. Hugs were expected. Alyssa had no problem with it until she got to Cole.

“Goodbye, Cole. Merry Christmas.” She stood there feeling unsure as to what to do, waiting for his cue yet dreading what it might be. Though she had given him plenty of hugs over the years, she did not feel at liberty in that moment to even shake his hand.

“Merry Christmas, Alyssa.” There was a strange quality to his voice and Alyssa had no time to wonder about it before he made a small sound, like a quick expelling of his breath, and slid his arms around her.

Shocked and relieved, Alyssa closed her eyes and melted against him. She relished the warm feelings engulfing her and thought there was no moment better than that one. It was an incredible feeling to be held by him and she didn’t imagine it when, just for an instant, he tightened his hold and pulled her even closer against him.

Then he let go and stood back, that shuttered look back in place. Without another word he turned away from her and spoke to her mother. That was the last time they'd touched each other until a week ago when Trisha had forced them into that ridiculous kiss. It was also the last time he called her Alyssa until last night. Cole’s brotherly attitude vanished and the cold stranger she came to loathe emerged.

Heaving a tired sigh, Alyssa rubbed a hand across her eyes then exclaimed with annoyance when she passed her exit.

It was several more miles before another appeared and once she left the interstate and found a safe place to do so, she pulled over to consult her phone for directions. Although it was a bit out of her way, there was another route available that would eventually get her back on course. Since she preferred country driving to interstate driving, she decided to go with that and pulled back onto the road.

Not a half hour later she found herself traveling down a quiet country road that made her wonder if she had taken a wrong turn somewhere. Houses were few and far between. The countryside was quite pretty, though, so Alyssa affirmed to herself that she would just enjoy the view and keep going. Besides, her phone said she was right where she was supposed to be. So what if it was taking her home via an obscure route? She had plenty of time.

When her phone died a short while later, Alyssa pulled over to look for her charging cord. Then she remembered letting her mother borrow it. If only she didn't own such an old car. Most of the new ones these days came with navigational systems. Then again, she was loath to resent its lack of modern technology because it had been a gift from her grandmother.

Heaving a sigh, Alyssa patted the dashboard. “It’s just you and me from here on out.” With high hopes that she could remember the route, she once again put the car in gear and pulled back onto the road.

The late afternoon sun cast a golden glow on the budding trees and gave vibrancy to the early spring wildflowers in bloom everywhere. Aside from the autumn months, spring was Alyssa’s favorite time of year. So rather than get irritated over the unexpected detour, she needed to take advantage of the situation and appreciate the chance to explore new territory.

Her mood lightening, Alyssa turned on the car radio just in time to hear one of her favorite songs and turned up the volume so she could sing along, belting out the words at the top of her lungs. Seriously, there was no better therapy for the soul than music. This is just what she needed…a drive along a quaint country road while singing along with the radio. To heck with Cole. She wasn’t going to worry about him anymore. The thought was so uplifting that she laughed out loud.

Going along with the moment, Alyssa pressed a little harder on the accelerator. What could be the harm? There were no other cars on this lonely forgotten road so why not? For that matter, there didn’t even seem to be any other life aside from vegetation.