“Put it on,” he growled, not very happy with what I’d said but refusing to let it reach him. “But even with it, I’m coming along anyway. I can’t afford to age ten years waiting for you at the hopper field.”
“With that attitude I’m surprised you can force yourself to give me assignments,” I said as I pinned on the I.D. “When I’m working I occasionally have to cross streets alone.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Ringer said with a snort of ridicule. “This is a friendly facility, and I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t much care what happens to people we get jobs against.”
“Another admirer,” I said with a beaming smile. “The numbers keep growing and growing.”
“And will never stop,” he muttered, pinning on his own I.D. with a frown. Ringer’s I.D. read “Chief of Agents,” and he hated it. He always claimed that it made him feel like a target, but that wasn’t what really bothered him. He never hesitated when it came to taking the blame for something, but bowing gave him a pain in the back.
Sometimes his attitude gave me a pain lower down.
We reached the empty room I’d been using without any trouble, retrieved the reports, and had started back out with them when I noticed the time. It was 1220 and Pete would probably be at the mess hall, so it was a good thing I hadn’t wasted my time going to his office. The sooner I got out of that place the happier I’d be.
When we got to the mess hall Ringer walked in with me, but waited at the door while I made my way over to Pete’s table. Pete looked up at me with a grin, but Freddy was there too and he just stared at me.
“Hand this to your next victim of writer’s cramp,” I told Pete, tossing the reports to him. “Play time is over, and I have to get back to the grind. I think you can guess how broken up I am about it.” I gave him something of a smile, then transferred it to Freddy. “Keep your parlor dusted, Freddy. Maybe one of these days I’ll decide to inspect it.”
“I’m not going to count on it,” he responded, obviously not finding it possible to return my smile. “I know you were trying to tell me something, but I can’t help it. I’m still sorry.”
“Maybe you’re better off that way in the long run,” I said, speaking as quietly as he had. “It’s a hell of a feeling to run into for the first time. But if you think you’re sorry now, just wait until the next time I’m out this way. You can bet that the challenge I hand you won’t be for padded kenji sticks. Quarterstaffs maybe, but not padded.”
“Then you’d better be looking like your old self,” he came back, this time showing that “something” of a smile as he pointed a spoon at me. “If you’re not, it’ll be the alternative.”
“You can always try,” I offered, pulling the spoon away from him. “But don’t you ever believe you can’t be killed for trying.”
I started to turn back to Pete, but Freddy stopped me.
“I think this is yours,” he said, and produced my original knife from his uniform blouse.
“How did you know I’d be by here?” I asked, getting rid of the spoon and taking the knife. Putting my foot on a chair let me reach my boot more easily, and a moment later the knife was safely put away.
“I didn’t know you’d be by here,” he answered as his skin turned faintly darker. “I’ve been carrying that knife since the last time we talked … I thought having it might changes things in some way, but all it did was ruin two of my uniform blouses.”
“It’ll happen every time,” I said, showing nothing of the pity – or envy – I felt for his failure. “You should see what one of these can do to a pair of skintights. If you decide to try it again, use a sheath.”
He nodded with even more wry amusement while Pete looked at us as though we were crazy, but Pete’s expression was blank compared to Morrison’s. I’d spotted the woman earlier, sitting at a table of struck-dumb proctors just past Pete’s table. Her stare was glued to my I.D., so I walked over to her and tried that smile again.
“It was fun for a while, but I can’t honestly say I’d like to do it again,” I told her mildly. “I thought I’d come over and warn you to watch yourself. You were downright human there a few times.”
My comment seemed to bring her out of the trance she’d been in, and she quickly found a grin.
“Well, you weren’t, and now I know why,” she said as she leaned back. “Some day I’ll be able to tell my grandchildren that I ordered around a Special Agent and got away with it. Ah – I did get away with it, didn’t I?”
“Free and clear,” I said with the laugh I couldn’t hold back on at seeing her expression. “But when I remember the enjoyment you got out of some of my suffering, I think about coming back for a while after I’ve cleared up my work.”
“And I’ve been thinking about taking a leave of absence,” she said, giving me a wry look. “Let me know when you plan on coming back. It’ll help me set up my own timetable.”
Her gaze didn’t waver, but her fingers drummed slightly on the table. She wasn’t sure whether or not I was kidding, but she wasn’t fool enough to want to try taking a Special Agent. People have gotten hurt that way.
“With the kind of work I do, there’s no telling when I’ll be free,” I said with a shrug.
“Whenever it is, though, it’s a good bet it’ll be too long for me to bother with remembering about suffering. On the other hand, help is something I never forget.”
I put my hand out, and she stood before taking it. A bond of sorts had developed between us – or certainly could have under other circumstances. As we looked at each other over our clasped hands, it was clear we both regretted that the time hadn’t allowed us to form a true friendship. When Morrison sat down again I returned to Pete, having noticed with dry amusement that Olveri had been too busy eating to look up the entire time I’d stood there.
Pete waited for me to reach him, then he leaned back in his chair.
“I have a feeling that if you hadn’t had these reports to bring, you would have forgotten to say goodbye,” he said in a tone that approached a growl. “I wasn’t your father long enough to teach you better.”
“I prefer to say hello, and you can be my father any time I’m here,” I offered with a better smile than the first. “When I’m not working, I like the way you care.”
“In that case you’d better take care of yourself when I’m not around,” he said poking a finger in my direction. “I want plenty of chances to work on you.”
“I don’t think you watched your choice of words,” I said, feeling a small amount of confusion. “Don’t you mean work with me?”
He shook his head slowly, and his green eyes showed a hint of something new. Just what that was I didn’t really know, and I suddenly discovered I wasn’t terribly anxious to find out either.
“Well, hold the thought,” I told him rather faintly. “I should be back in about five or six years.”
“You’d better make it sooner than that,” he growled, moving forward to put his arms on the table. “Or I’ll come looking for you.”
“You know, I believe you would,” I said, discovering with surprise that I didn’t mind his idea in the least. “But right now I have to leave, since Ringer gets slightly put out when I take my time getting started on a new assignment. I know it’s unreasonable of him, but there it is. It’s my fate to associate with slavedrivers.”
Pete smiled and actually stood up to hug me, a gesture I returned with as much true feeling as he showed. After that I blew a kiss to Freddy and headed for the door, but just as I reached Ringer I remembered something. So I turned around to look for my old table assignment, where Elaine and Linda were sitting. When Elaine saw me looking at her she smiled and waved, but Linda just stared with a confused expression. I hadn’t seen much of them during the last week, and hadn’t really spoken to them when I had seen them.
“Do me one more favor, Elaine,” I called after returning her wave. “Take all those uniforms I left and burn them!”
Then I got out of there fast. Amid all the laughter of the cadets Pete had gotten half of his chair, and I didn’t want anything to spoil that goodbye we’d shared.
Ringer and I picked up a hopper at the field, and set our course for Blue Skies.
Anyone seeing Blue Skies for the first time is in for a shock. The name of the hospital leads you to picture sharp, clean, modern lines rising up to the heavens and softly landscaped grounds. The picture is of a dream of ease that will encourage you to heal and grow well again, a haven for the unlucky. In point of fact Blue Skies is a high, wide, dismal pile of stones, something that looks like it’s been taken from some planet’s dark ages. There are no windows in it at all and Federation troops walk guard posts all around it, including the relatively small landing field at the rear of the building. Blue Skies is a hard place to get into and a hard place to get out of, the former condition being encouraging for agents on the sick list, the latter being encouraging for anyone who knows about ward K.
Ringer and I left our hopper on the landing field and were passed through the guard posts into the building. The guards had looked at us closely, and I could tell from their grim, humorless expressions that they were still feeling raw over the break-in the Flowerville people had pulled. Their disruptors were loose in their holsters, and anyone who was foolish enough to try anything else would be lucky if they were in a position to need Blue Skies afterward.
The inside of the Federation’s most active special hospital was a cold combination of colorless tan and chromelike metal, neat and clean and full of the feeling of efficiency. I had often wondered how its staff could stand living there, month after month, year after year, seeing only with artificial lights, breathing nothing but filtered air. It was very much like being in a ship of deep space, but I had never minded being aboard a ship. I always minded being at Blue Skies.
Ringer and I had decided to rearrange our schedule, so we separated when we got inside. The first stop I made was at Ralph’s office, to see what he could do about my left hand. Being redheaded was bad enough, and I didn’t need any other distinguishing marks – not to mention the fact that the pain had started to come back.
Ralph looked at the hand and frowned at me, and I solemnly assured him I’d spilled ink on it. In spite of his disapproval he managed to dye the skin enough to hide most of the bruising and give me something for the pain, so I was able to go on to the lab that had been broken into. Ringer spent the time calling 2 and arranging for Hughes to meet us at Blue Skies. We didn’t know how far away Val could sense me, and it was better not to take any chances.
The lab people flatly refused to give me any idea of what was in the stolen vial. I pointed out that the Flowerville people knew, but the techs just sneered. The Flowerville people must have taken the vial with ideas of ransom, they told me. They couldn’t really know what was in it, just that it was important. The techs had a miniature detector set into a wide but cheap and ugly looking bracelet, and I put it on my right wrist. Even if the detector itself turned out to be useless, at least the bracelet covered up the scars.
I finally left the labs, and went to a previously assigned visitor’s sleeping room on the ground floor to wait for Ringer and Hughes. The local clothing I’d specified had been delivered, but I wasn’t sure they’d gotten the sizes right. I had only just begun going through it when Ringer showed up with Hughes in tow.
“If this turns out the way I think it will, I’m putting in for retirement,” Ringer growled as he shut the door behind the two of them. “I couldn’t take another agent like you.”
“That means he approves of you,” I told Hughes with a smile. “You’ll get used to his form of enthusiasm, but first I need to ask: how do you feel about going along on this?”
“It’s got to be better than sitting in a classroom,” she responded with an answering smile. “Does this count as my field test?”
“Only if you live through it,” I qualified with a pleasant nod. “Let’s go through this stuff together so we can get acquainted. Want to help with hooks and stay-tabs, Ringer?”
“I’ll see you two later,” Ringer said, shaking his head a little as he left.
I paused to study Hughes again, and could see that I hadn’t been mistaken. She and I would have looked like sisters even if we hadn’t had the same color hair and eyes.
She wasn’t as tall as I was, but she looked a little older. I knew she was nineteen, but she didn’t come off at any more than seventeen. If two teenage girls couldn’t get close to the people who had that vial, no one could.
Hughes had gone over to the pile of clothes that was heaped on the room’s bed, so I turned back to them myself and asked, “What do people call you besides Hughes?”
“I take it you mean in mixed company,” she said, holding one of the blouses up to her. “I usually answer to Thea, but if you don’t like language like that, you can call me Teddy.”
“What’s wrong with Thea?” I asked, feeling amused.
“It’s short for Theodora,” she returned with a grimace, tossing the blouse back onto the pile. “I’ve hated that name as long as I can remember. It’s so…
cute-little-girlish.”
“And you don’t like being a cute little girl,” I summed up, studying her again.
“Do you?” she countered, turning to stare at me.
“I take every bit of help I can get,” I replied with a shrug, then sat down on the bed near the clothes. “But I know the feeling you’re talking about. It’s when every two-bit male around looks at you and sneers even when you can outthink him and outfight him any day of the week. He pats you on the head and feels superior just because he’s male and you’re female.
“But being female is the greatest edge you can have if you’re serious about becoming an agent. You can walk right up to a target and put him away before anyone knows what’s happening, and that in a situation where a male agent would have to fight his way in from a mile off. But you’d better learn to be comfortable being female, or you won’t be able to stand the loneliness.”
“Do you think sex is that important?” she asked with a frown. “I’d rather have my self respect, and you can have both if you patronize joy houses.”
“I’m not talking about sex,” I answered seriously, looking up at her. “I’m talking about someone to talk to… Take my situation, for example. I just finished playing a little game with the commandant at the Academy. I’ve known Pete for a lot of years, but this time around he’s decided to father me because of what I look like. I encouraged him in it because I made a bad mistake earlier on: I reminded him about who I am and what I do for a living.”