Taming the Bad Girl (5 page)

And so I turned and I walked away, planning on
doing just that.

Chapter Seven

Lucy: It’s always the waiting that’s the hardest. Like Christmas I
guess, though that’s not something I’d know much about.

We still had work to do. That was inescapable. So
I’d expected Giles to be in my office the morning after the fuck up at the bar,
and the morning after that one, and the one after that one. But he was nowhere
to be seen. I spent day after day sat at my desk, drumming my fingers, trying
to finish presentations and looking for new accounts I could bag to balance my
budgets, all the while wondering when he was going to walk through the door.

It reminded me a little of the first week after
‘the night that must not be named,’ before Giles had headed off to
England
. I’d
thought back then, well hoped I guess, that he’d come in at some point to
apologize, but he never did. He never fucking did.

The tension was the same now, me jumping at
every little noise, worrying my bottom lip and drinking vats of coffee in an
attempt to slow my racing heart. Which obviously had the opposite effect, I was
jittering like some sort of teenager after a Red Bull trip.

“What the hell are you up to, Giles?” I hissed
on the fourth day of being kept waiting. It wasn’t so much that I wanted to see
him, because God knows my temper was not up to another round, and neither was
my heart either when it came right down to it. Not after his weird behavior
outside the bar. But I wanted to know what he was planning. What he’d decided
to do about my budgets before the department heads met up. Now I had no idea
and would probably end up embarrassed in front of the others. I didn’t care
what Gabe thought about me, but I didn’t want Pam to see me look bad. She was
my best friend, my only friend if truth be told, and I wanted her good opinion.

“Leaving me to stew,” I muttered as Outlook
flashed up the meeting reminder. “Making me
look
like
an idiot in front of my friend.”

 
It
occurred to me as I minimized the meeting reminder that maybe I should have
made more of an effort to confront him and demand his results. Had it been
anyone else I would have. I’d have flirted and charmed or even bullied the
information out of him. This was Giles though, and the most I’d been able to do
was walk past his office a couple of times, all the while thinking of the
moment he’d dragged me out of the bar. The humiliation and the hate I’d felt
mixed in with all the rest. But the door was shut tight, and there was no way
at all I’d have dared open it. My heart raced at the very thought and a mixture
of loathing and longing filled me.

It seemed to be more pronounced now, the anger
and the want, more so than it had been these last months. Maybe because,
discounting the showdowns of the last couple of days, we hadn’t even been alone
together apart from the one time we’d accidently ended up in the office kitchen
making hot drinks. That was about a month ago. He’d bolted as soon as he
realized, of course, taking a mug of hot milk minus the coffee. Maybe he
thought I hadn’t noticed? Or maybe he just wanted hot milk and wasn’t so
repulsed by my presence that he couldn’t stand the time it took to scoop up
some granules.

I expected
the woman I was sleeping with to have the decency not to be sleeping with other
men.
 
Only I
wasn’t, and if he’d known me in anyway he would never have suggested….

I shook my head and moved a pile of papers.
Thinking once again about how different Giles’ remembrance of that night was to
mine. He thinking
Alex
was some other
man, when of course he wasn’t, not like that. I paused in my paper
movage
and wondered, as I had so many times, if I should
have explained…but no. Giles should have known me well enough to trust me. We’d
been building up to that night for so long. Near on dating. He should have
realized, shouldn’t have assumed….
And
you should have told him the truth
, a little voice whispered. I ignored it.
A bit of flirting and one, well, three good fucks, was not enough of anything
to be spilling my painful secrets on. And clearly I’d been right to feel that
way.

Building
up to it, Luce….

I scowled and scrunched a sheet of paper in my
hand. Yes we had been, just as Giles had said, but it was now so royally fucked
up that I couldn’t think of it that way. Couldn’t torture myself with the
knowledge that if not for Alex we might be dating still now.

“Giles,” I sighed and took a deep breath. He
wanted to forget it. He’d made that abundantly clear. I had to do the same now.
I
had
to. Build up or no. Almost
dating or not.

The meeting reminder flashed again on my screen,
telling me that I had five minutes to get my ass up to Gabe’s office. I rolled
up one of my latest campaigns, grabbed the bunch of papers I’d been fiddling
with and straightened up. I had to show them I was busy doing something, trying
to make things right. After all I had no idea what Giles was going to tell
everyone.

Lucy’s
spent all the money. I can’t save her department, might as well fire them all.

I shuddered and grabbed another roll of paper.
This proposal was in the early stages and probably wouldn’t win us any
business, but it couldn’t hurt to maybe suggest it might.

“Come on, Luce,” I told myself. “Chin up and get
this over with.”

I smoothed down my tight red dress, shook my
hair out and made my way up to the boss’s den. Staff alternatively smiled and
glared at me as I walked past them. That was the way I rolled I guessed, like
Marmite, love me or hate me. It’d just be nicer if more liked than hated.

Gabe’s PA
did
smile at me in a nervous sort of way, but she did that with everyone. I strode
through her office and I gave her a nod.
Got
to look composed, got to look like I don’t fucking care.

It was the laughter that halted me in my stride.
Coming from behind the closed office door.
Pam’s was
recognizable immediately, as
was
Gabe’s—he always laughed
around her—and then Giles. The three of them were in there, laughing together,
maybe over one of Pam’s geeky jokes, or Giles’ dry wit. The lump reformed, my
chest felt like someone had sat upon it, that someone being a super huge
weightlifter, and I gritted my teeth. It had been so damn long since Giles had
laughed with me, so many months. Loathing and longing filled me again and I had
to make a concerted effort to shake it off.
 

He should
have known, should have trusted me.

Trouble was, in that moment I didn’t know what I
was more nervous about. The meeting itself or sitting across from Giles,
knowing now without a doubt that he really, really did not want me, that all he
wanted was some sort of explanation, a resolution maybe.
But
not me, certainly not me.
Which was ridiculous, I told myself. Hadn’t I
already known that for
crikes
sake? Hadn’t I known it
for months?

It was the moment outside the bar, as he’d
turned to walk away.
When I’d seen it clear in his eyes.
When he’d left, leaving me feeling like some sort of nothing. Before that, if I
was honest with myself, some small part of me was still holding on to a sliver
of hope.

No more though, that was gone forever now.

My hands tightened around the papers and I
swallowed unsteadily.
Some sort of
nothing….
When would it start to feel better?
When?

“They’re waiting for you,” Gabe’s PA said and I
cringed, realizing that she’d been watching me stand outside the door like an
idiot. More than anything else it was imperative that I kept up my persona at
work.
Lucy heartbroken by Giles
. I
could just imagine the gossip and sniggers that would follow me if that ever
got out. I’d have no choice then but to leave, and losing my job was so not an
option. People depended on me.
Alex being one of them.

Chin up, Luce.
Put the mask back on. Don’t let him see how much it hurts.

“Just checking my papers,” I said, casting
Gabe’s PA a smile over my shoulder, and then I pushed the door open and watched
as the laughter of just a moment ago died.

Chapter Eight

Giles: Guilt is a tricky thing, but then so too, sometimes, is
desire.

In keeping with my resolution to let it go I’d
planned to avoid Lucy for as long as possible. Well, at least until I sorted
her budget out. I could have spoken to her of course, more than that I should
have. There were a number of transactions she could have clarified for me, a
whole bunch of receipts that didn’t match anything in particular. An hour with
her would have saved me several working through things on my own. But every
time I stood up, ready to go to her office, I found myself pausing. I imagined
looking into her brilliant eyes, watching her plump lips move, and knew that an
hour of that was likely to be an hour too much. After the way I’d lost it
outside the bar I didn’t trust myself to keep my emotions under the control,
and there could be nothing more humiliating than Lucy realizing just what a
fool I’d been all these months. So it seemed much easier to just get it done
myself. Then I could hand her everything back over with a clear solution. I’d
have my closure.

Of course I could have given everything to one
of my junior accountants to do, as this sort of thing was more their job than
mine. Let everyone know just how deep in the shit Lucy was. But something made
me pause—again.
A lingering bit of loyalty?
A feeling of sympathy?
I didn’t know. But I ended up doing
it all myself in the end. It made a warped kind of sense to me.

Now watching her across the oval table we all
sat around I felt guilt trickle down my spine. She pulled open roll after roll
of paper, spreading them out in front of Gabe and Pam.

“I think we have a really good chance with this
one,” she said. “If we pick this one up it will clear my deficit.” She paused
and pushed another sheet forward. “This one here is bound to come our way.”

Her movements were frantic.
Her
fingers shaky.
Gabe and Pam didn’t seem to pick up on it, but I did.
Maybe because they aren’t watching her as
closely as you,
my mind whispered. I frowned as she fumbled some of her
notes. Surely she couldn’t be nervous? That wasn’t anything like Lucy at all.
But then would it be so surprising if she was? She didn’t know what I’d been
doing with her finances, how bad it all looked…because I hadn’t told her. The
guilt trickled again.
 

“This looks really good, Lucy,” Gabe said. “But
right now we need to focus on making sure your budget will be workable for the
rest of the year. How’s that coming?”

Lucy smoothed down the roll of paper in front of
her and for the first time since coming into the room shot me a look. I could
decipher nothing from her gaze, nothing at all, and that frustrated the hell
out of me. I paused, waiting to see what she might say, but the moment held.
Our eyes locked. I opened my mouth but she beat me to the punch.

“Well,” she began, and I almost groaned as her
tongue darted out to moisten her bottom lip. The tongue of a temptress…I could
easily remember how it had felt dancing around my cock head…. “Giles and I—”

“It’s coming along fine,” I said, surprising
myself with the words that had formed before she’d even spoken. “We should have
a solution early next week.”

Lucy’s eyes widened before she ducked her head,
taking those unfathomable eyes away from me.

Gabe grinned. “That’s excellent news.”

“I knew you’d get it sorted,” Pam said, smiling
at both of us.

“Any idea how much you’re going to
be needing
to shore things up?” Gabe asked.

I shrugged. “We’ll be working on that this
evening.”

Lucy’s eyes met mine again. There was a question
in them now.
The same question running through my own
thoughts.
This
evening?
It had just slipped out before I’d even thought it through,
but my entire psyche screamed a no! I didn’t need to spend any damn time with
her. I could get it all done myself. God damn, sitting in a darkened room alone
with her was the last thing I needed right now.

My cock stirred, arguing with me, and I shifted
on my chair.

Her dress was just so tight. Like she’d worn it
deliberately knowing what it would do to me.
The red fabric
hugging her tiny breasts, molding the curves.
I could see them so
clearly in my thoughts. Those honeyed little globes, with their rich dusky
nipples. They’d felt so good under my tongue. I’d laved them and laved them
until she screamed.

My cock stiffened to the point of pain and I
almost groaned. Why were these thoughts plaguing me now? Why? Hadn’t I gone all
these months ignoring them? Damn her! It had to be the memories. They’d pushed
themselves forth these past few days, refusing to go away. I went to bed
thinking about her and woke up thinking about her. It was completely fucked up.