Talk to Me (4 page)

We were expecting a baby boy in 2009 and were at the very peak of our happiness. We were both on top of the world and as my husband always said to me, ‘We have our entire life ahead of us.' But when I was five months pregnant, Paul died of a brain aneurysm. It was sudden and unexpected. Adding to my grief over losing him, I wasn't home when it happened, so the fact that he died alone plagued me.

After his death, my sister gave me Allison DuBois's book Don't Kiss Them Good-Bye, and from the first page I was hooked. From that moment on, I wanted to learn everything I could about the afterlife.

I looked up Allison's website after reading her books, and sent an email to her manager asking whether she was planning to visit Australia. I was so excited to receive an almost immediate reply advising that she was, in fact, coming to Australia the following year.

So my sisters and I attended one of Allison's seminars in December 2010. We were seated near the back, as it was raining heavily that evening and we'd been stuck in traffic. My first words to my sisters after seeing the crowd and the location of our seats were, ‘There's no way I'm going to get selected!'

When Allison came out, everyone was so excited. I was too—for nearly a year, this woman had helped me more than she could possibly know, and finally I was able to see her and enjoy her company for a couple of hours. Most of the readings were conducted from where the people were sitting, but she did ask some of the audience to join her on stage. I was fortunate enough to be one of those people.

When I was selected, the first thing I did was thank Allison for the books she had written, as they had helped me to understand ‘death', so to speak, in a completely new way. Allison taught me, through her writing, that my husband's soul or spirit continued to exist after his death and we would meet again when I passed on. I admit, though, that being on stage was completely overwhelming—there was a sea of people in front of me.

Allison looked angelic on stage and that put me at ease, but what really comforted me was that Paul came through right away. The first thing he said was, ‘I'm sorry.'

I guessed he was sorry for dying and leaving our baby boy and me. He reassured me that he loved me so much. Paul immediately referred to a necklace I had purchased after his death and Allison described it exactly—a locket with a photo of him inside it—so I knew without doubt it was my husband.

In the delivery room when giving birth to our son, I thought I felt Paul's presence and heard him say something to me. But I was heavily drugged, so I'd always believed that I'd imagined it. In the reading Allison confirmed that my husband was present at our son's birth, and I hadn't just imagined his voice or his presence—it really did happen. He was there to see the arrival of his much-anticipated baby boy and stand beside me in this beautiful yet painful moment in our lives as I had to face the fact that our son would have no memory of his father.

Allison's reading was from my husband's voice and had proved to me that Paul remains a very real part of our lives. She told me that my husband kisses our son goodnight every evening. He also said that he ‘tucks me in', and sometimes sleeps on his side of the bed, so I was told to ‘keep to my side!'

Allison referred to the balloon my son had sent his dad on the one-year anniversary of his death. She even said that Paul had got the message we had placed inside the balloon—that was amazing, because I'd never told anyone about that. She then mentioned that my husband was present when my son had his photo taken with 17 Santa Claus. This had occurred only three days before Allison's event, and I had indeed felt my husband's presence on that day.

Allison said that Paul was sorry we didn't have the family we planned to have, but he told her that I was going to have a baby girl one day. I was shocked at this piece of information, as I never thought I'd find love again, but Allison reassured me that my husband said I would.

As I mentioned earlier, I had many unresolved feelings that had been weighing on my mind about Paul dying alone. Allison told me that my husband didn't die immediately, but was unconscious and then passed on peacefully. It was such a relief to know he didn't suffer. I'd also always believed that if I'd been there I could have saved him, and we could have continued on with our life. But Allison confirmed that it was his time and Paul would have passed on regardless of whether I was home or not. I guess this made me accept that you cannot get out of death. When it's your time, it's your time.

Allison said a lot more to me that night, but I was so overwhelmed I have only written about the messages that were most important to me. I think she is an amazing person and truly gifted. She has given me so much hope that my husband and I are still connected and we will reunite one day, and I thank her for all she has done to help me in the most terrible time of my life.

TERMINAL DIAGNOSIS

Unlike Janeta, Dot was with her husband when he died. Her husband, Jim, had a terminal illness, so they knew the day was coming. I thought an example of both knowing ahead of time and losing somebody without notice would be food for thought for you to weigh the pros and cons of both scenarios. For all of us, we will die one way or another, with or without notice. There are no in-betweens. I think looking at the two very different ways to lose a loved one can cause us to recognise how essential it is to value life. We can see life in a profound light so we don't miss a single opportunity with someone we love.

DOT'S STORY

I had heard about Allison DuBois and decided I wanted to attend one of her events, so I ordered the tickets online with the support of my husband. Of course, Jim wouldn't go to the seminar with me as he simply did
not
believe in ‘all of that ethereal stuff' (at the time). I selected the VIP ticket for the early meet-and-greet, made the two-hour drive from our home in Victoria, Texas, to Austin, and got the books that Allison had written when I checked in so I could ask her to sign them.

Allison was sitting at a small table, and each person was allowed a short one-on-one greeting before Allison signed their book. When it was my turn, I placed the books on the table and asked her to sign one book for Jim, one for my friend Suzanne, who was supposed to be with me that day, and one for me. We then chatted about her TV show,
Medium
. I said I knew that when a TV series or movie is based on real people, many details are changed to make them fit the timeframe of the show, but I remembered an episode of
Medium
where her character could see the number of days a person had left to live when she wore certain white sunglasses and I wondered if that was true. Allison stated she saw it more as a ‘gas tank'.

At the beginning of Allison's talk, she informed the audience there would be a portion of the evening when she would take life questions and a portion when a few people from the audience could come up to the stage and she would do a short reading for them. You could tell Allison was a very nice, kind, compassionate person. She explained that while she understood that everyone in the audience had probably lost someone they loved, parents who had lost children hurt the most and would really benefit from a reading if they could get one, so she usually read for them first. She also said she didn't see visions in her dreams like the TV series portrayed—she got her information while she was awake—so we didn't have to worry about her going into a weird trance or anything.

I really wasn't sure what a ‘life question' was, but I knew I wanted to ask how long my husband had to live, even though he was feeling well at the time. I had hopes he would live another ten years, but I wanted to be realistic—after all, Jim had pancreatic cancer and the statistics weren't that good.

I was able to ask Allison my question about how long Jim had to live, and she replied that she wasn't sure; she only knew that March was pivotal for him and me both. It
was
an important month in our lives—Jim and I were married on March 22. However, I wasn't sure if it would have any relevance to Jim's health, so I just took it for what it was, since this wasn't a one-on-one reading when Allison concentrates directly on a particular person.

After the event, I decided to sign up for a private reading with Allison. Of course, there was a long list of people who wanted private readings and we were told that Allison's assistant would call and set up a time for a phone reading.

About a month passed and I was at work—I'm a registered nurse and have worked in operating theatres for over twenty years—when I missed a call on my mobile phone. It was from Allison's assistant so I returned his call and we set the date for Allison to do a reading for me over the phone. I did ask Allison's assistant if we could do the reading face to face, but he explained that she really didn't have the time to do those anymore and I was happy to get what I could.

On the date Allison was to call me for my reading, I took the day off work. My husband and I had bought a new phone because I didn't want to have any problems with the connection. We set up a place in our bedroom that was quiet with a writing table and notebook, and Jim seemed happy for me as he knew this was something that I really wanted. Although he said he didn't believe in ‘all of that stuff', he was a pretty open person and supportive of any interests I had. Jim also respected my intelligence enough to know I wouldn't waste my time or be so enthusiastic about a wild goose chase; however, I didn't realise he was also silently taking mental notes.

My reading with Allison was booked for four o'clock in the afternoon, but a few minutes later her assistant called to tell me that she had been delayed. He explained that the reading she did prior to mine took longer than expected, and she would need 30 to 45 minutes to rest before she did my reading.

When Allison rang, she was apologetic for not calling at the prior arranged time. Of course, I assured her that it wasn't a problem and I understood she was tired from her previous reading. I asked if she wanted to do mine another day, and she said, ‘No, it's okay.'

I then asked again if it would be possible for us to do the reading face to face. ‘It's how I prefer to have important conversations,' I explained.

Allison replied that I would have to wait a couple of months before she could do a reading in person.

I was fine with that so about a week later her assistant called and we arranged the meeting for 25 June 2010, which was in two months. Because it was to take place in Arizona, I decided to include our family for a little vacation and made the travel arrangements.

I started to think of the things I wanted to talk to Allison about, but I didn't make my list until we got to Arizona the day before I was to see her. When the time finally came for my appointment with Allison, I had about three pages of notes!

One of my first questions was whether I'd be okay emotionally and financially after my husband passed away. I also asked her if I should quit my job to spend time with Jim.

She replied, ‘No, no, you need your job.'

I said, ‘Well, Jim was wondering if he should go back to work.'

‘Oh no,' Allison said. ‘If he goes back to work it will be the same as if you were taking your child to work with you each day. You'll be spending all your time checking on whether or not he's taking his medication, if he's eating, etc. It would be harder for both of you.'

Allison's answers to these questions were very accurate. Even when my husband stayed home and didn't work, I had to constantly make sure he ate and took his medication.

Then I asked Allison again when she thought my husband would die. While I understand that no one really knows when someone is going to die, except God, I wanted to know if Allison had any feelings about this.

She replied, ‘What I can tell you is that November will be his sickest month thus far.'

I asked her if she thought Jim was going to die in November.

‘No,' she said. ‘He won't die in November, but it will be his sickest month.'

I told her that I hoped he would get well, because I had a trip to Hawaii planned for December.

Allison scribbled on her notepad and said, ‘Don't buy the tickets!'

I explained that I had already bought the tickets and paid for the accommodation, too. She told me to see if I could get a refund.

I said, ‘Well, you know, if he's just going to be sick, I figure we can put him on the plane and take him around to see the beautiful places on the island, and still have a good time. At least he would be on the vacation with us and we could have the experience together.'

Allison said he could make it but it would be very, very hard on him.

During the reading, Allison also brought my mother through and my mum gave me some wonderful messages and details of her life. However, there were two things Allison spoke about that I didn't understand: one was a woman named Grace who was connected to my mum and who was with her now, and the other was a coin collection my father apparently had. I made notes about these so I could look into them after the reading.

Later, I spoke to my sister, Shirley, about Allison's reading. While Shirley said she'd kept a few of our father's dimes, and knew that he used to have some Kennedy silver dollars, she couldn't recall anything about a coin collection either. But Shirley did remember a lady named Grace Woodard who our mother used to have coffee with every morning when we lived in Refugio, Texas, when I was a young child. So it made sense that Grace was with my mum, gabbing and having coffee together in the afterlife.

Jim seemed interested when I told him about my reading with Allison but, as usual, he didn't say much and maintained his quietly sceptical stance. One day, though, we were sitting in the backyard and I was on the phone to Greg, a friend of ours whose son had been murdered. I described my meeting with Allison, the things I had learned, and was encouraging him to attend an event she had in Chicago. Greg was going to send his daughter instead, but I said that he should go because Allison talked to parents who have lost their children first and so he decided he would. I also told Greg about the two things that didn't make sense to me during my reading: the lady named Grace who I now knew was my mother's friend, and my father's coin collection, which I still knew nothing about.