Taking on Twins (19 page)

“Well, for one thing,” she murmured and stopped moving to the beat of the music and looked down at the ground. Her voice grew soft. “I was not in love with my husband.”

A
nnie knew that once she'd confessed this much, Wyatt wouldn't be satisfied until he'd heard the whole story. Unable to meet his piercing gaze, she turned and began to meander toward the house. She knew that Wyatt was staying just a step behind her, giving her the space she needed to formulate what she wanted to say. Trouble was, she'd never let herself dwell on the subject, so the words came hard. She snapped a dead twig off a tree and rolled it between her fingertips as she strolled along.

“Do you ever remember me talking about how I grew up with Carl, back when you and I were in college together?”

“Your late husband, Carl?”

“Mmm.”

“Uh…kind of. I guess.”

“I didn't talk about him all that much. I had my reasons for not dwelling on him.”

“Hey, now, wait a minute. Come to think of it, I vaguely remember you telling me about how some kid named Carl gave you your first kiss. I remember that now, because I remember I hated him.”

Annie tilted back her head and let the laughter flow. “I only told you about him because you were bragging about what an experienced kisser you were and I was feeling a little abashed.”

“I was no doubt lying. Guys do that stuff, you know.”

“Now you tell me. Anyway, yes, he was my first kiss. Sort of. We were in the fourth grade and Carl had been chasing me around the playground all during recess, just as he had for grades one through three, and finally, I just ran out of steam. I let him catch me.”

She stopped walking for a moment and gazed up at the fantastic Hacienda de Alegria and marveled at the romantic picture it made against the night sky. To the west, there was a great wash of inky blackness. Void of all light, Annie knew it was the Pacific Ocean, and she could feel the marine breezes as they lifted the hair off her neck, smell the salt in the air and hear the eternal roar of the sea.

Wyatt stood behind her, hands on her shoulders, chin rested lightly on her head. “What'd he do?”

Annie grinned. “I think he went into shock. After years of chasing me, to finally have me in his clutches was so exhilarating. Everybody in Miss Dalberg's fourth-grade class was watching. He knew he had to do something big. A grand gesture, so to speak. So he kissed me on the lips real hard—in fact I thought for a minute he broke my tooth—and announced that someday he was gonna marry me, whether I liked it or not.” She heaved a heavy sigh. “And he did.”

“I'm sure there was more to it than that.”

She lifted and dropped an arm. “Not really. From that day forward, everyone just assumed that I was Carl's girl.”

“I didn't.”

“I know. But you were different.”

“I wasn't from Keyhole.”

“And I liked that about you.” She smiled and continued to try to paint a verbal picture of the boys' father for Wyatt. “Carl was…he was single-minded, I guess you could say. Proprietary. Not to mention huge, and a bit of a bully.” She held up a finger and tilted her head. “Albeit a likeable bully.”

“The best kind.”

“I didn't have a chance with any of the other boys in Keyhole. They were all scared of Carl when it came to me. And, considering the rather awkward, skinny, shy and geeky-haired stages I passed through as a kid, I guess I was glad for the male attention. Because of Carl, I always had a date to the prom, so to speak.”

“How did you ever get away from him long enough to end up at Prosperino State?”

“In my senior year of high school, I told him I was going, and that was that. I think he was in such shock at my sudden display of backbone that he didn't know what to say. But I knew deep in my heart that I had to get away from Keyhole, where I was Carl's girl, and figure out who I really was.”

“And sunny California seemed a long way from Carl's influence.”

Annie snapped the twig she carried in two and tossed half of it away. Slowly, she turned toward Wyatt and searched his face with her eyes. It was evident that he understood. She only wished that she'd discussed her marriage with him earlier.

“Exactly right. Ever since the fourth grade when I made
the mistake of letting him catch me, he'd had a hold on me.” She took a deep breath, then let it hiss. “Anyway, even though I told everyone I was going away to college, nobody, especially Carl, took me seriously. People in Carl's and my families didn't go to college. They thought it was just a phase with me. A passing fancy. Everybody just figured I'd outgrow the idea and realize that my proper place was with Carl. He'd run his daddy's auto parts store and I'd have the babies. But when I got a job at my father's store and started a college fund it raised a few eyebrows. Even so, Carl just figured I'd use the money for our future together.”

“That was big of him.”

“That's who he was. He always just took it for granted that the shy, awkward, redheaded girl would be overjoyed to be his woman. I wasn't so much an individual as a trophy. Or a status symbol or something. You know, I don't think we ever discussed love back in high school. But, because of my own mom and dad, I knew there had to be more to love than just…I don't know…being there.”

“And there was.” Wyatt pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple.

“Umm.” She nodded and slipped her arms around his waist, loving his gentle touch. “So much more.”

“I have a hard time believing you were ever shy.”

“I was until I met you. Something about you just made me…I don't know…”

“Mad,” Wyatt supplied.

“Yeah.” Annie giggled. “With you, I forgot to be shy.”

“I'm glad.” He turned her around, draped an arm over her shoulder and began to steer her back toward the house. “C'mon. We can finish this discussion in the house. It's getting a little chilly out here. You have goose bumps.”

Annie leaned against him as they walked. “You've always given me goose bumps.”

“I'm not sure how to take that.”

“It's a good thing.”

Arm in arm they strolled slowly around to the more secluded front of the house. Light strains of a party still in progress reached them from out back, but here, it was quiet. Just the two of them. They moved through the shadows of the portico and up to the massive front doors that swung silently open, at the lightest touch, into the house. Wall sconces glowed in the foyer and, just beyond, the courtyard, where Nick and Liza would take their vows in a matter of hours, was a fairyland.

Votive candles from the wedding rehearsal still burned in small crystal glasses that lit the pathway to the altar. From above and below, indirect lighting illuminated the gauzy tent and garden's lush plant life. Behind them, the fountain bubbled quietly. It was incredibly beautiful. Annie only wished her own wedding had been half so nice.

Still holding hands, she and Wyatt were drawn slowly, quietly down the flickering path and up to the altar.

“It's so magical here.” Annie kept her voice low, so she wouldn't somehow ruin the holy feel of this place.

“The perfect place for a wedding.” Wyatt nodded in agreement and turned to face her.

Annie could fairly hear the wedding march echoing throughout the courtyard. Wyatt would look fantastic in a tuxedo, she was sure. And she'd always wanted a real wedding dress. Florist flowers. A professional photographer.

“I got married in Carl's parents' backyard,” Annie murmured, fingering the ribbons of the altar's fabulous bouquet. “It was a casual affair with one of Judith's cast-off, ivory prom dresses and Mama's garden flowers. Daddy's brother, Uncle George, took pictures with his Instamatic.
Afterward, we threw a barbecue for all of our friends and family and Carl's hunting and fishing buddies. His idea.”

“I take it this was not your idea of a wedding reception.” Wyatt's tone was dry.

“Hardly. But I really didn't care.” She shrugged. “I didn't care about anything.”

“Then why did you marry him?”

“I thought I could learn to love him. We'd been together since we were babies in preschool.” Annie's gaze traveled to the candles that still flickered on the table in front of the altar. “Daddy really wanted to know that I'd be taken care of after he was gone, and he knew his time was short. He knew Judith was married and Brynn was a go-getter who could take care of herself, but for some reason, he worried about me. I was always sort of his favorite.”

“I can see why,” Wyatt whispered.

Annie grabbed his hands and lightly, playfully, rocked him back and forth. “You're prejudiced.”

“No. I just have good taste in women.”

She snuggled closer, entwining their arms between them, still remembering. “Daddy thought it was a good idea that I marry Carl, because Carl was basically a good kid. Carl thought it was a good idea that I marry Carl.” Her laughter held a brittle edge. “Everyone thought it was a good idea that I marry Carl.” She tried to swallow. “Except me.”

“Annie.” Wyatt tilted her chin and looked deep into her eyes and whispered. “Why on earth did you go through with it?”

“Tons of reasons.” Tears pooled at her lower lashes. She blinked and one, and then another, began to roll down her cheeks. “I married him because I felt sorry for myself. For him. For you. I married him because I knew I had to let go of you once and for all. I had to sever that connection so that you could realize your dreams. A wife—and maybe
kids—would only hold you back, and I knew how important proving yourself to the world was to you.”

When Wyatt started to protest, she held a finger to his lips. “That was only part of it. I married him because I had to stay near my family. They needed me. I saw no other way out.”

“So you married a man you didn't love.”

“I never said it was smart.”

Wyatt was silent for what seemed to Annie like an eternity. She could see his mind working, backtracking, trying to figure out exactly where they'd gone wrong. The look in his eyes was tortured, as if he were battling age-old demons.

“I'm so sorry, Wyatt,” she whispered, feeling the need to apologize for her own part in their breakup. “My unhappy marriage wasn't your fault. I made my own decisions. And something wonderful came of it in spite of everything. You got your career—”

Wyatt winced.

Reaching up, she smoothed the furrow between his brows with her fingertips and bestowed him with a watery smile. “—and I got two beautiful little boys.”

“And the tough role of a single parent with a full-time job.”

“That's life, Wyatt. That could have happened to you and me.”

Slowly, Wyatt cupped her face in his hands and traced the tear streaks on her cheeks with his thumbs. “Rand told me that Carl had died, but not until months after it happened. He'd heard it from someone in the McGrath family, who heard it from someone else. No one knew any details, so I was afraid to call.”

“It's all right. I understand.” Annie closed her eyes. “It was a boating accident, right after the boys were born. He
and two fishing buddies drowned in Willanoon Lake, about fifty miles south of Keyhole. They'd all been drinking and horsing around and they collided at top speed with a floating dock. Carl drank a lot. Especially after we had the kids. I think he was afraid of the responsibility of twins.”

A telltale muscle jumped in Wyatt's jaw. “My old man used to drink and then take his troubles out on my mom.”

Annie blinked and covering his hands with hers, pressed his palms to her cheeks. She knew that his statement contained a question and she didn't know what to say. It didn't seem fair, discussing Carl's foibles when he wasn't here to defend himself.

“He…never hit me. He just didn't have the first idea of how to be a loving husband or parent. He never really had any kind of example growing up. His father was a real—” She waved her hand. “He was hard on Carl and Carl's mother. Expected a lot. Used to smack them around. I think that a lot of my feeling for Carl was wrapped up in pity. And wanting to please my own dying father.”

“Ah.” Wyatt sighed. “You ever notice how the whole father thing can really screw you up?”

Annie emitted a strangled sort of combination sob and laugh. She nodded. “It seems to be a trend for you and me. And Carl.”

“And Noah and Alex, and Joe.”

“And Meredith.”

“And Meredith,” he whispered. He dragged a hand over his mouth and jaw. “Man, I hope when the time comes for me to parent that I don't make the same mist—”

Annie interrupted by pressing a finger to his lips. “No. No. You won't.”

“How do you know?”

“I know because I've seen the way you are with my boys. They don't remember Carl or my dad. You are the
closest thing to a father they've ever had. And in the short time you've spent with them, I've seen positive changes. I know you're going to make a wonderful father someday. Already my kids love you to pieces.”

“I love them too,” Wyatt whispered, and pulled her hands up to rest against his steadily beating heart. He looked deep into her eyes. “And you. I never stopped loving you, Annie. I know I never will,” he vowed.

As she looked into his eyes, Annie felt just as though she were standing at the altar in her own wedding to Wyatt. Heaven help her, she loved the feeling, even though she knew that it was an impossible dream, considering their vastly different lifestyles. She could feel her mouth quivering as she bit back the never-ending flood of tears and heartbreak that had been threatening again since she'd said goodbye to Wyatt seven years ago. Long-distance relationships never worked. She and Wyatt had proved that true once already.

Even so, it was lovely to dream. If only for a moment.

“Oh, Wyatt. I love you, too. I never stopped.” Her heart was thundering. What on earth was she doing, flirting with disaster this way? Reaching up, she traced his lips with her fingertips and said with a sigh, “Suddenly, I can't breathe.”