Authors: KC Ann Wright
“Um, that’s okay; I’m still chilled. I’m not used to these freezing temperatures since I haven’t been in Chicago this winter.”
Martha went into the kitchen and came back a minute later with a glass of ice water. After handing it to Maddie, she sat down on the couch a few feet away. Maddie set the red box she was carrying on the couch next to her.
“Thank you.” Maddie could feel her hands shaking as she held the glass. “Sorry, but I’m a little nervous.”
“Dear, please don’t be nervous. Whatever you came for, I’m just happy to meet you.”
Austin had talked about his mom quite a bit. Maddie felt like she knew a lot about her, but that didn’t mean she knew for sure how his mom would react.
“Before I explain why I’m here, do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Not at all.”
“Did Austin tell you what happened? I mean, do you know why we’re not together?”
Martha lowered her gaze. When she looked back up at Maddie, her eyes clearly showed pain. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get upset. Austin doesn’t talk about it. All he told me was that he messed up. He didn’t tell me any other details and any time I ask, he cuts me off. I’ve never seen him this upset. He had a hard time when his father passed away, but the way he’s been the last couple of months is far worse. As his mother, it hurts me to see my son in so much pain. I thought it would pass or at least ease, but it’s to the point where I’m concerned about his wellbeing.”
Maddie placed her hand on Martha’s to give some comfort. “I’m sorry. I hate to see it upset you.”
“Please tell me why you’re here.”
“I came here to ask you a favor. I’m just glad you let me into your house and you aren’t upset with me.”
“Of course not.” She shook her head.
“Sorry, it’s just I didn’t know what to expect when I got here, but this is definitely a pleasant surprise.”
“I’m glad.”
“I don’t know if Austin will take me back, but either way I had to come here today to talk to you. First, let me tell you what happened between us. Do you remember Tiffany?”
Maddie saw the surprise on Martha’s face.
“Yes. You know, they dated for two years and I never met her. Austin rarely talked about her and his eyes did not light up the way they do when he talks about you. Do you know what’s ironic? I’ve never met any girl of Austin’s. You two aren’t even dating, but you’re the first girl I have ever met and he isn’t even here.”
Maddie smiled at Martha.
“Well, it’s a good thing you don’t think highly of Tiffany because your opinion is about to become worse.”
Maddie told Martha the important parts of the story. She explained what Tiffany and Charlie had done. She told her briefly what had happened to her that night. Martha reached out to place a hand on Maddie’s to comfort her now. Maddie quickly wiped the tears away.
“So, I’m here today to ask you to give this gift to Austin on Christmas morning. There is some very important information in this box and I would like you to give it to him.”
“All right. May I ask what’s in it?”
“Well, that’s the other reason I came to meet you today. You may be disappointed and your opinion of me may change, but not only do I feel it is my responsibility to tell you, it’s important to me that you know.”
Martha’s brow furrowed. “Well, unless you’re going to tell me you tricked Austin too, then I don’t think I will change my opinion of you.”
“No. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Austin, but I have held something from him. He will be upset and I don’t know if he will forgive me enough to try again. While I hope he does, I have to face the possibility he may not want me back. However, Austin and I will always have a tie to one another.” Maddie paused, as she knew the words would come as a shock to Martha. “I’m pregnant.”
Maddie looked at Martha to see what her reaction would be. Maddie saw the tears well up in her eyes.
“Oh, Maddie, congratulations! Austin doesn’t know?”
“No, and I know he’s going to be upset I held it back for this long. But, I was hoping Austin would come back to me because he loved me, and not just because I called to tell him I was pregnant. But I now know that Austin also didn’t have all the facts as to what happened that night. I feel it is my responsibility to give him all of the information and let him decide. Either way, whatever happens between the two of us, I know he will be a great father to his child. And it’s just as important to me that you’re a part of his or her life. I want my child to know his or her entire family, even if Austin and I are not together. So, I’m hoping you’ll be a part of your grandchild’s life.”
Maddie looked at Martha cautiously. She had just told her life-changing news and Maddie knew it would be a lot for anyone to take.
“Of course I will love my grandchild.” Martha reached her hand out and took Maddie’s hand in her own. “I feel very blessed not only that you have come here to tell me, but that you will allow me to be a part of your child’s life no matter the circumstance.”
“Yes, it’s very important to me. Family is the most important thing in my eyes.”
“Would it be all right if I hugged you?”
Maddie stood up and the two women hugged for a long moment. When they let go of each other, Martha looked in Maddie’s eyes.
“He misses you so much. Everything is going to work out.”
“I hope so, Martha. Thank you for giving him the gift for me.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay to tell him yourself?”
“No, if I see any disappointment on his face it will be too much for me to bear. I know it sounds weak, but after everything I’ve been through, I just don’t think my heart or emotions can handle much more. I hate that I don’t have the courage to face him, and I know he will be upset, but I just can’t. I miss him too much to chance being rejected in person. Not hearing from him will be easier than hearing him say he doesn’t want to get back together.”
“I understand, dear. We have a tradition in our family and it has become even more important since Austin’s father passed away. We all give one gift to each other on Christmas Eve. The gift we give tonight is the most meaningful gift. There is nothing I would consider more important, so I am hoping you will allow me to give this as my gift to Austin tonight.”
“I trust you to do what you think is right. I do need to leave or I will miss my flight. I don’t want to miss Christmas Eve dinner with my family.”
“Thank you for coming to see me.”
“I appreciate you inviting me into your home with open arms and listening to my entire story. Austin is very blessed to have such a wonderful mother.”
“Well, I hope to be an important part of your life, too.”
Maddie hugged her goodbye when she got to the door. She walked down the front sidewalk with tears in her eyes. Her emotions were at war right now and she could not even be sure if they were tears of happiness or sadness. She missed Austin; as great as his mom’s hug felt, she missed Austin’s arms around her so much it hurt.
• • •
W
hen Austin walked into the house, he was agitated. He gave his mom a hug and then walked over to his sister.
“Hey, Alicia. It’s great to see you.”
Although he didn’t mean to take his anger out on either one of them he knew his greeting came across clipped. He walked over to the bar area and pulled out the Macallan 18-year scotch. Pouring himself at least two fingers, he picked up the glass and downed the entire drink. He set the glass down, ran his hand over his face and closed his eyes. Placing both hands on the bar he dropped his head and stood motionless.
“Austin, sweetheart, is everything okay?”
“Sorry, guys, I don’t mean to ruin your Christmas too.”
“Did you have a bad day in the studio?”
Austin picked his head up and turned to his mom. “I just threw the towel in, so you could say I’m having a bad day.”
“Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“Not the music, Mom. I quit. I told them I didn’t want to do this shit anymore.”
“Austin!” Alicia exclaimed.
“Listen, I’ve been doing this for many years and I thought that was all there was, so I was happy with my life. But now that I know differently, there’s no point to all of this anymore. I can never go back to the way it was. I just want to fade away and not have to put on an act for everyone. I’m exhausted from pretending.”
He poured another scotch.
“Let’s just enjoy Christmas and maybe you will change your mind.”
“I doubt it, but I’m looking forward to a couple of quiet days here.”
“I was thinking we could open the gifts before dinner.”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“Great. Let’s go into the other room.” Martha grabbed her glass of wine and Austin followed behind his mom and Alicia.
His mom followed her normal routine. She went to the stereo system to put on Christmas music. Sticking to tradition, she played his dad’s favorite CD, a Christmas album done by the Oakridge Boys. The lights on the tree were glowing and his mom also had a few candles lit around the room. A fire was already burning, but Austin placed another log on to keep the flames going.
Each of them had gathered their gifts. His mom had a red box sitting on her lap and another gift by her feet. Alicia and his mom made eye contact and then his sister dropped her eyes to the box on Martha’s lap. His mom nodded slightly toward him. Not understanding the unspoken communication between mom and daughter, he thought nothing of the exchange.
“Mom, why don’t you go first this year?”
Martha smiled at Alicia. Their mom usually gave her gifts last, but she got up and walked over to him. She held out the red box.
When Austin took the box from his mom he thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes. Confused he looked down at the box in his hands. Either he had had too much scotch or he was literally going crazy, because at that moment he swore he smelled Maddie. He squeezed his eyes shut to get her out of his head. Even the smell of her was too much for him to bear.
He pulled the white ribbon and it fell open. Lifting up the lid of the box he saw something sitting in front of him that made every cell in his body jump awake. He stared at it for a long moment before he picked it up. In his hands was a black and white photo with a circle drawn around a small white mass in the center.
Austin’s mind raced.
What the hell did Tiffany do to me that night?
He wanted to be a father someday, but he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her. He glanced up at his mom and there were now more tears in her eyes.
Shit, is she happy I’m going to have a child with that woman?
He looked back down to the box on his lap and saw the folded piece of paper. He picked it up and set the picture back in the box. He opened the letter and his heart began beating triple time. He recognized the handwriting. Maddie had slipped a note in his pocket when they had parted at the Austin airport. He had read the note ten times a day since that day. The paper was beginning to wear, but somehow the personal handwriting and her words had been the only thing to get him through these last months. He focused on the note he had just opened.
Austin,
Please forgive my choice of delivery for such significant news. I was afraid you may be upset with the news and I couldn’t bear to see any disappointment on your face. It would have destroyed me. I feel truly blessed to be carrying this child and will love him or her no matter what happens between us. I apologize for waiting until now to tell you, but I was not sure how to tell you and didn’t want you to come back to me just because of the baby.
Tiffany came to visit me two days ago and she shared some very important information (hopefully your mom will fill you in on the story). I know you may not be able to forgive me for pushing you away when you came to see me. The pain I saw on your face that day remains fresh in my mind. I love you, Austin. I have always loved you and always will. I have continued to punish myself every day since I told you to walk away. I now know you didn’t do anything to hurt me intentionally. You were set up and I am so sorry they did that to you—well, to us.
I’m hopeful at some point you will forgive me and allow me to prove to you how much I love you. I would do anything to have you in my life. If you can’t forgive me, I’m begging you to at least be a part of our child’s life. Family is so important to me and I really want him or her to not only know their father, but to also have the love of their father.
Again, I’m sorry for the delivery, but I was and still am afraid. I feel responsible for all of the pain and everything that has happened. Every day has been difficult without you in my life, but I push forward for the sake of our child.
I will love you always,
Mad
Austin sat motionless. He stared at the words on the page. He read them over again while he tried to fit the pieces together. Austin looked up at his mom as a tear slid down his face.
“I’m going to be a father.”
“Yes, dear.”
Austin looked back down to the ultrasound picture sitting in the box. “Why did she say you would tell me about Tiffany?”
“She stopped here this morning to drop off the gift for you. She said Tiffany had come to visit her—”
Austin cut her off. “Maddie was here today?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if you would want to see her. I didn’t want you to destroy any chance you two may have if you were disappointed about the pregnancy. Please understand, I was just doing what she’d asked and I didn’t want to interfere.”
Austin wanted to be furious at his Mom, but he understood she had been put in an extremely difficult spot. She had probably wanted to call the moment Maddie left. Not that she would have been able to get in touch with him in the studio and she knew that.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not mad at you, just confused right now.”
Martha told Austin the entire story about Tiffany and Charlie. When she finished, Austin set the letter in the box with the picture and closed it back up. He held it under one arm and picked up his glass of scotch as he got up from the couch.