Taken (21 page)

I can’t stay away. I’m a drowning woman. The only way to survive is to hold on to you and ride this out, praying the waves that take us under lift us up again.

You turn and stride toward our table with two lidded paper coffee cups. It’s shocking to see you here—in Starbucks—with me. Why would you want me? You could have any woman in the world.

Suddenly, I feel so small and insignificant. On the island, when it was only us, we were equals. I wasn’t a newly graduated, unemployed nobody.
 
Back in real life though, I’m invisible and you’re a bright flash of white lightning, rich, successful and incredibly attractive.

You set the coffee on the table and sit across from me, studying my face. “What are you thinking?” Your fingers begin drumming beside your cup.

“I just realized something, that’s all.” I watch your fingers, because I can’t look into your eyes.

“What?”

On the edge of my seat, I take a small sip of steaming coffee, hoping the warmth will calm my knotted stomach. “In the real world, we have nothing in common. We don’t belong together.”

You throw your body back in the chair, chuckling. “Nothing in common, huh? What should we have in common?” I slowly raise my eyes to yours and catch your amusement. “Should we both own real estate in seventeen countries? Should we both be recent grad students? Should we have all the same favorite movies? Tell me what we should have in common.”

Shame surges through me. “Lesson number one: Don’t belittle my feelings. You’re pushing me away by laughing at me.”

You jolt forward and grab my hands on top of the table. “I wasn’t laughing at you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to belittle your feelings. I honestly want to know why you think we don’t belong together.”

“Because you’re you! I’m struggling to figure out who I am and what I’m going to do with my life, and you’re on top of the world already. I don’t belong up there with you, and you definitely don’t belong down here with me.”

You scowl. “Down here with you? Why are you talking about yourself like you’re worthless? If anything, I’m the one who is beneath you.” You let go of one of my hands to drag yours through your hair. “We didn’t have this problem until right now. Why has the power shifted all of the sudden? Why are you looking at me like I’m God instead of the asshole who…stole you away?”

I bite the inside of my cheek and feel the wall between us thickening. “Because we started over.”

You shake your head and stare at me with an incredulous look on your face. “You’d rather have the asshole who drugged you? He’s down on your level, is that what you think? You think you deserve how I treated you?”

“No! Of course not. But we started out with you proving yourself to me, not the other way around.”

You take a deep breath and press your palms on the table, spreading your fingers. “I’m still proving myself. If you think you have anything to prove to me, it’s only that you’re forgiving, and you’ve already done that several times. You’re here with me, and that’s more than I deserve from you.”

We hold each other’s eyes for a long moment, making sure we’re okay. Are we okay? I don’t know.

“Do you feel better about us now?” You reach across and take my hand again. “Never think you need to prove anything to me, Rachael. It’ll always be me who needs to prove I’m worthy of you.” You lean forward and kiss my knuckles, then spread my hand and kiss my palm. “You’re an incredible woman, and you don’t even realize it. Smart, beautiful, and always a contradiction. Sometimes timid, sometimes outrageously sexy. Sometimes insecure and other times assertive and confident. I never know who you’ll be next, but your heart is constant, giving, kind, caring, loyal. You amaze me daily, Rachael.”

My constant, giving, kind, caring and loyal heart somersaults. You’re not the same man you were on the island. You’re more forthcoming, more on edge. This has to be the Merrick Rocha who dashes in to acquire property he might not be able to have. Everything’s on the line, and you’re not a man who gives up on what you want.

“What happens when I stop amazing you? I’m not here for your amusement or idolatry.”

Your lips quirk, but you do your best not to smile. “You’re always amusing to me. And I do idolize you. I aspire to be more like you, to have your heart, to have your soul. You can teach me and give me what I’m missing.”

I swallow hard past a lump forming in my throat. “That’s a lot to ask of me. What if I can’t?”

“What if
I
can’t? What if I fail you? You only have to be yourself. I’m the one who has to change.” You kiss my knuckles again and lean your forehead against them. “What if you don’t want me? What if I can’t stop hurting you, and I don’t even realize I’m doing it?”

You’re afraid, too. It’s calming to see your confidence crack. I’m not the only with without all the answers. I run my fingers through your hair, loving the feeling of the silky waves tickling my fingers. “I guess we’ll have to muddle through together, won’t we?”

You raise your head, clenching your jaw, your eyes shiny. You blink a few times, and I realize you have tears in your eyes. “Please. Please, let’s get through this,” you whisper. “I need you. You’re real. You don’t care about my money or my company. You see
me
, not the Merrick Rocha everyone else sees.”

Reaching up, I stroke your cheek and run my thumb over your lips. “You have so many different Merrick’s inside of you. There’s the strong and confident, insanely sensual man, but at times like this, you’re a hurt little boy. It doesn’t take a degree in psychology to see why you push people away. You can’t stand to think of them leaving you, rejecting you on their own terms, so you give them a reason. I won’t let you push me away anymore, even if it’s unintentional.”

You squeeze my hand so hard, it hurts. Your eyes dart back and forth in desperation. “Tell me when I’m hurting your feelings. Don’t leave me again. Promise me.”

I step off the cliff and plunge into unknown depths. “I promise. I won’t leave you again.”

You close your eyes, your chest deflates and shoulders relax. When you open them, you gaze at me with such intense emotion; it washes over me and makes me inhale sharply. “Can we get out of here now?” you ask. “I need to hold you.”

I push my chair out and you follow my lead. We head outside hand-in-hand. At the S.U.V., you open my door. Before getting in, I put a hand on your cheek. “We’ve started over, so you can touch me now.” I rise up on my toes and kiss you, hard.

You groan and squeeze my hip. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I just want to hold you for now. I just want to be close to you and know you’re with me.” You lean down and kiss me, barely brushing your lips against mine. “If I kiss you deeper, I might not be able to control myself.” Your nose nuzzles mine. “Is that okay with you?”

I kiss you again. “I’m going to need to kiss these lips. I’m addicted. You’re going to have to find a way to control yourself.” I step back and shrug. “If that’s what you really want.”

You narrow your eyes and give me a sly smile. “You’re asking for trouble.”

I quirk an eyebrow at you. “Maybe.”

Groaning, you gesture to the S.U.V. “Get in before I take you right here on the ground.”

Heat pools in my stomach and rushes lower, throbbing and eager. I run a finger down your chest, lingering at the fly of your jeans. “Promises, promises.”

You pick me up, not-so-subtly grinding into my bottom, letting me know you’re hard as rock, and drop me onto the seat. “You can’t go back once you give yourself to me. You know that.”

 
“I know that.”

We stare into each other’s eyes for a minute before you take a deep breath and close my door. The drive back to my mom’s house is silent. I wish I knew what you were thinking. It’s clear you weren’t expecting me to offer myself up to you. Now that I have, you’re shaken. “I think you’re right,” I say. “We should just hold each other. For today.”

Looking straight ahead, you reach over and squeeze my leg without a word.

We lay fully-clothed snuggling in my bed, the bed in my childhood bedroom, covered by a quilt my grandma made. The room’s dim, the only light sneaking in under my closed shades. We’re back in our secluded bubble away from the real world.

“I feel like I’m in high school and snuck in through your window.”
 
You nuzzle my ear with your nose.

“It feels like high school. Probably because my mom would have a shit fit if she knew you were here. I’ll always be ten-years-old to her. It’s the curse of being the only child.”

Your laugh sends chills down my back. “Never had a guy in this bed then?”

“Are you kidding? She would’ve killed me.”

You trail kisses up and down my neck. “I like that I’m the first.”

“Only because you sent her away. Very sneaky, Mr. Rocha.”

You shift on top of me, weaving our fingers together and resting your forehead against mine. “Strategy, Miss DeSalvo. Strategy.” Your lips press against mine, and your kiss is slow and sweet. Painfully sweet. Your tongue teases my bottom lip. Mine darts forward to meet it, but you don’t accept my invitation in to explore, barely touching mine with yours. It’s like a first, hesitant kiss.

“You might be taking this innocent high school routine a little too far.” I pull my hands free of yours so I can thread them through your hair, press your lips tighter against mine and snake my tongue in your mouth. “Kiss me like you mean it, Merrick.”

“I always mean it, Rachael.”

I love hearing you say my name when you’re breathless and filled with desire. “Make me feel how much you mean it.”

My words break you. Your fingers curl against the sides of my face, and your mouth takes mine, owns it. I hitch my leg up over your hip and my hands find their way up the back of your shirt, caressing your warm, smooth skin. You moan into my open mouth. I tug your lip with my teeth. I don’t want to hold back anymore. I grip your hand and slide it up the side of my t-shirt. “Touch me. Please. I don’t want to beg you, but I will. Touch me.”

“You never need to beg me, baby.” Your tongue darts into my mouth, stroking against mine as your fingers tug down the cup of my bra, and your palm presses against my breast. I tear my lips from yours and throw my head back, sucking in a trembling breath. Your hand scorches like the sun after wanting your touch for so, so long.

Heated breath tickles my skin as your mouth and tongue slide down my neck. Abruptly, you sit up breaking our contact. “You made me break my rule.”

I’m stunned, but your eyes are playful. “What rule? And do I get to be punished?”

Surprise flashes across your face and you laugh. “Punished? I’m not really into that scene, but if that’s what you want…”

“I was only kidding, but what rule?” I slip a finger in your waistband and try to tug you back down, but you only drop your gaze to my hand without moving closer. “You have to touch me first.”

“I thought we started over?”

“We can’t erase what happened—what I did to you.” Your eyes meet mine, filled with regret and longing. “I need you to initiate this or I’ll feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

I lick my lips and slip my other hand to your zipper. “Like this?” I unbutton and unzip, pushing the denim and boxer briefs as low around your hips as I can.

Your eyes close as your cock falls forward, heavy and hard, ready for me. “Just like this, Rachael.”

You ease back on your elbows, and I tug your pants down farther. “Help me. I want all of you.”

You lift your hips, and I visualize myself on top of you, feeling you thrusting into me. I grab your jeans, slip them down and straddle your knees. Your hands gather in my hair as I lower my head, wrapping both hands around your thick, hard arousal.

I kiss your swollen head, finding it silky soft. I greet it with the tip of my tongue, taking it in my mouth and circling the rim. You groan, and your knees bend suddenly, tipping me forward, bringing almost your entire length into my mouth.

“Sorry,” you whisper, lowering your knees. “That wasn’t intentional.”

I stroke you a few times, spreading the slickness from my mouth. “I liked it. I like making you lose control.” Locking my eyes on yours, I lick you, starting at your base and running the flat of my tongue up to your tip before taking you back in my mouth and sucking hard.