Taken by The Hunger: A Blood Thirst Novel (Book 1) Paranormal Romance/ Erotica/ Urban Fantasy (3 page)

Chapter 3: For Whom Does your Heart Beat?

I
backed away further now, feeling as if I’d been punched in my gut. How does he know so much? I remembered now why we couldn’t be near one another. He grabbed me then, digging his fingers into my skin, and stopping me. I pushed harder against him- hitting him with my fists upon his chest. Wanting to hide from him all the pain his words caused me in the pit of my stomach- I was so transparent to him. I practically ran to the door forgetting it was locked, but he didn’t let me reach it; grabbing me by my neck while blocking me with his body. I slammed into him as he pulled my head back.

How is he in front of me?
I couldn’t explain how he moved so fast. He was in my face in a matter of seconds. His jaw twitched as his lashes lowered, and he looked at my lips harshly bringing me mere inches from his face and quietly exclaimed, “Oh no, you can’t run away from me… ever. You’ll learn that today, baby.”

“Tell me Emma, what were your plans… were you going to let him fuck you in that cabin? Is that how you were going to pay him for his efforts?”

I couldn’t answer him… I was speechless. I needed to get out, now.

“Did you know that was my cabin, my bed, where I go when I can’t take being near you? Where I make myself come... hard, just thinking of you.” His words took shape in my mind. I saw him doing what he said he did and it left me yearning. I tried to speak. I was silent with tears welling up in my eyes feeling betrayed by what he thought of me, shocked, hurt, scared, but then he shook me with so much force my teeth rattled, “Answer me Emma,” he yelled. I couldn’t take it, his nearness… the forbidden things he whispered so close- did things to me I couldn’t explain. I wanted him so much and hated him, so I broke down with tears slipping down my face, I asked, “My god is that what you think me capable of?”

He ruthlessly replied, “I just need to know if you’re going to be offering your body to every fucking guard who you think can break you out of here. Those were his intentions, make no mistake!”

I shook out of his grasp and raised my hand slapping him with all the strength I had regained in the past couple of days. I wanted to hurt him just like he was hurting me.

He responded by grabbing my arm and pulling, dragging me behind him to the bathroom. I was silently crying and digging in my heels- fighting him the whole time when he turned me in his arms to face him in the darkened bathroom. With only the light from the bedroom sneaking through, he pressed me with his hips against the bathroom sink and held me there taking deep breaths, not quite looking like the controlled man I knew him to be while I fought him for some time. My nails dug into him, underneath the sleeves of his fitted black crew neck shirt, but he did not release me. He imprisoned me with his body when his hands grasped my forearms.

I was trying to wrestle free from him. In retrospect, what a stupid fool I had been.

I felt so much heat radiate off him as he drew me in. “Did you think to fool me too, Emma? Was that it, were you always playing your little staring games with me to get me to fall for you just as you did to Jeffery?”

I’m sure I gave him a pitiful look before I looked away. I felt his lips move to my ear when he said, “Look at me, or I’ll make you regret dismissing me.” Raising my chin, I turned my face and did what he demanded as he lowered his lips onto my neck- whispering softly against me, “Did you think I never noticed how you looked at me? How you look at me every time.”

I didn’t deny it, I couldn’t. His breath on my skin was impairing all my abilities to use speech. All I could do was feel.

Having him so close, I couldn’t help to remember how I fell in love with him the moment I first saw him. I had emptied my unreturned love for him unto Jeffery finding some release from emotions too strong to keep bottled up. I had wronged Jeffery in so many ways. Darius was the reason I was so desperate to escape. He had always put so much distance between us. I knew he had to feel something because so many times I found his eyes searching mine almost as if by looking he could reach inside my mind and know my most intimate thoughts. And if that wasn’t enough... most nights, I felt him in my room watching me sleep. I would pretend I slept until finally I would fall asleep.

I could feel him when he thought I had reached deep sleep. It’s strange that I knew this to be true, but I felt it when everything was quiet… even my mind. I probably shouldn’t have known, but his warmth- my body was just aware of him. I believed him to be near because he wanted to know my secrets. He watched me. Did this worry me? … No because I trusted him- I wanted him near me. Yet he was right, I ran away.

I ran away because he was an addiction that would end up destroying me.

There were times when he looked like he couldn’t put enough distance between us. Because of those times, I had lost hope that he would ever feel anything for me. I felt the only thing I was to him was a nuisance. He shook me back from my thoughts, and the first thing I could think was
he’s too close I can barely breathe, God… I want him so much.

“Now tell me… is that how you made Jeffery fall in love with you? Is that what you do, make people want you so bad they’d do anything to possess you?” He asked his questions so gently almost like a soft soothing caress over my skin, and smiled against me. His lips drew away, he pulled me closer. I couldn’t answer him because I felt his soft, hot breath on my lips.

I want you…
my mind said, but I wouldn’t permit those words from coming out, so I thought of something else to verbally throw at him.

“You can’t blame me for Jeffery, you pushed me to him.” I said against his lips.

“Emma, baby be very careful with what you say to me because you have no idea the things I’m capable of, for you. If you wanted more from me all you had to do was admit it, damn it… not go filling someone’s head with thoughts that only belong to me. I know you didn’t fuck him, in fact, I know you would never have permitted him to even lay a hand on you.” His hand came up to grab my waist long blond hair when he caressed it with the back of his fingers, grabbed it into his hand making a fist, and forced my head back. “Answer me! Do you think you would have allowed for any caresses other than mine?” He roared.

Being forced to look up at him, a tear slipped when I finally whispered back my reply, “No… no, I promise no, I was never planning on doing anything with him please just leave me alone, it wasn’t ever like that… you’re hurting me.” He wasn’t hurting me physically, emotionally yes because he was making me admit so much.

In that precise moment, I wanted the earth to swallow me. I wanted to be removed from this place… to just fall from existence into nothingness.

Not letting go, his eyes followed the tear down over my chin to my neck when he eased his grip. “I’m not sorry,” his firm lips lowered kissing my chin, and he spoke barely above a whisper, “I want to do so much more right now Emma, but you need to answer me this, he said you told him you loved him, tell me you lied Emma… tell me. I have images in my mind of the two of you together- I need them gone baby.”

“Stop doing this Darius, please just stop.” The look he gave me was anything… but sympathetic more like a panther looks at its victim right before it shreds and tears its kill, so my answer was automatic because I was truly afraid for the both of us, after all, he did look capable of killing me. I was feeling like a ticking time bomb about to explode, I wanted to kiss him so bad, yet I also wanted to slap him. He was driving me nuts. So I said, “Yes, I lied. I just wanted to be free of the hell you call my life, the hell you make me wake up to every day... and let go of me, you have no right,” I yelled. “You resent me so much for keeping you here day after day. You hate me so much all you do is give me hell.”

He still grasped my hair when his face came down merely a breaths distance from mine, and he said, “Let you go Emma, when you’re clutching me like you’d die without me? When you’re open to me right now showing me exactly what you want, but pushing me away with your words. Fuck, this is hell… wanting you like this and not being able to do a damn thing about it.”

I realized then I was holding on to him, my body feeling his desire for me while I responded by letting him lift and sit me on the glass sink as bottles scattered and shattered falling on the floor. I was moving closer to him, wanting him- lifting his shirt, trying to feel his skin… fusing us together.

“You’re but a foolish child. I could have had you since the first day. I could have you now. I want you so bad, baby.” He said while holding me away. “I’ve protected you from the worst. You have not a semblance of a clue of what hell is. Hell… little girl is wanting you so bad and knowing you’ll take me without hesitation. But too soon you’ll realize it will cost all our lives, and I don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s life including mine. I will willingly risk everyone, but you Emma. We’ve always loved, wanted, needed, and eventually hated each other. I’m trying to find another way.”

I was shaking by the time he let me go, his words touching something deep… buried. Something so powerful… I knew it was the answer to everything, yet I didn’t understand… grasp it. Whatever it was- it withdrew, just like him. I watched him walk over to the bedroom as he kicked the bathroom door shut leaving me in the dark. He left me shaking with need for him. I was hurting from how much I wanted him. I quickly climbed down slipping to the cold marble floor and just cried. I cried because I wanted to run after him, but I was alone, empty, and in a worse predicament than I was before my failed attempt at escape because now everyone would be wary of me.

He left me trembling… knowing my only ally was gone, and I came to the realization that Darius was right I was a stupid, childish girl. He left me. He knows how much I want him, knew all along, but still left me all alone. I also had to live with the fact my only friend was forever gone probably kicked off this property. What Darius said couldn’t be good because it only meant that he was hiding so much more, confirmed my worst fears- either I had no grasp on reality, and I was slowly losing my mind, or something worse was coming. Something he felt it was his duty to protect me against. We were all in danger.

After I had calmed, I heard the turning of the faucet followed by running water. I quickly uncovered my face and sat up pulling the tear soaked hair from my heated cheeks while trying to look around. Instead I found myself in complete darkness searching for him, realizing my ability to see in the dark was mysteriously gone. Panicked, I wondered if the bite marks had anything to do with it, or could it have been something Darius had done? He was my tormentor, we were destructive together, and I knew we were sucking in everyone around us, but he was close and that’s exactly what I wanted- needed. I felt some happiness knowing he couldn’t leave me…
he needs me too.

I was getting good at making excuses for my weaknesses, for him. I told myself it was better if he was near, better than being utterly alone because at least we knew the truth about one another. So, I welcomed his presence rather than playing a farce with the new woman guard. I needed answers and one way, or another he would give them to me because after his behavior tonight I believed he needed my company more than I needed his. He didn’t want to leave me. I wanted him to stay rather than going out of my mind thinking he was with her. I wanted him to want me.

His voice came out of the darkness, “Emma, I’ve put a tracking device under your skin, it was necessary after all, so don’t Ever… think of escaping again.” This was the reality check I needed to snap out of the allure he held on me. I remembered I needed answers… the ones that kept me up at night.

I shut my eyes before I asked, “Are you my kidnapper?”

This doubt killed me. After so long wondering, I needed his reassurance.

My body began to shiver… betraying me once again as I felt him near me, he commanded it with his presence because when he neared my body yearned for him. And a part of me did fear him; after all there were so many uncertainties. The realization gave me another reason to hate myself. He was so warm- radiating so much heat when he was near. I leaned towards him as I felt his breath on my neck right before he stood me up, and lowered the straps of my chemise off my shoulders with his fingertips. “Come on Eva… you’re not lost, I’ll bring you back. I’ll dig you out no matter how deep you’ve buried your love for me.”

I was about to lean into his warmth and offer my lips to him when I heard the name and knew I’d heard it before. He’d called me that long ago. I was trying to place it when I felt what he was doing… and stood frozen unable to stop him. He said he’d already done this, undress me. We were in complete darkness, so he couldn’t see me I thought.

“Don’t look so scared baby, I just need to feel you. You want to feel me too, don’t you baby? I won’t ever hurt you. You know I’m not who you accuse me to be, or would you offer yourself to me… so willingly anyway?”

Was his reasoning supposed to bring comfort, or more unanswerable questions? I wasn’t sure of what to answer him, so I ignored it and its ramifications.

“How do you know how I look,” I asked as I doubted his words- he was capable of such torment… inflicting so much pain. I felt pain just from not having him near enough. My hands traveled under his shirt when he stopped me.

“No baby, if you touch me… I won’t be able to stop.”

“Darius, you have to stop doing this to me. I can’t take it.” I hated declaring so much.