Tainted Grace (6 page)

“Can we re-hang the deer in the van?” I asked.
“I’d hate for it to go to waste.” It was the only thing I could think of to say. I was suddenly very nervous about leaving our home.

“Uh, probably,” said Nathan.
“As long as we secure it on both ends so it doesn’t whack anyone while we’re on the road.”

“What’s most important here to take with?” asked Bill. “Think about what might be needed for relocating, starting over.”

“The beds,” said Emilie. “At least the mattresses.”

“The food,” Susan added.

“Tools, weapons, candles, blankets.”

“Bottled water.”

Everyone seemed to have suggestions.

“How about if Nathan and I step outside, and you can all talk it over.
You don’t even have to decide right now, but I suspect if the weather stays mild our group will be heading out within the week. We’d love to have you join us. Not just for the help of the van, but safety in numbers and all.”

“No,” said Gus.
“Stay. I think we should just vote on it now. Susan, you’ve already said you want to go.”

“Yes,” she answered.
She was even closer to Nathan now, and he had an arm around her waist.

“Em?” asked Gus.

“Yes.”

“Boggs?”

“Brother, I think we haven’t much of a choice. We have to think about our future,” said Boggs. “Zoe, do you feel the same?”

I nodded yes.

“Ok then,” said Gus. “Let’s do it.”

The rest of breakfast was spent discussing fuel levels in the van, condition of the motor, and making a list of what to pack up for the initial trek to the other house.
Bill and Nathan assured us that there was room for all five of us in their boarded up home should the snow return before we could start our trek to the shores of Puget Sound.

“We should go ahead and get the van ready, I suppose,” said Boggs.
“Leaving here is a little sad. So, here’s to new beginnings…” He raised his glass of water, mimicking a toast.

We all stood.
I wrapped my arms around myself and felt the chill of the morning deep within.

“We’ll load the mattress in first.
They can double as seats in the back of the van. We can fit three people up front if we set a kitchen chair between the driver and passenger seats. There’s only heat in the very front, so whoever is in back should use the blankets,” suggested Gus.

“We should load supplies toward the rear,” said Bill in his smooth, deep voice.

“Let’s tackle it in stages. First make sure the van still fires up. It’s been about a week. Next, plot a route on the map. We keep one in the glove box, so I’ll bring that in,” said Gus. “Girls, if you could round up the food we have left, blankets, some of the lighter items that’d be a big help. Set things by the front door, but make sure there’s room for us to get the mattresses through. If there’s something you feel you have to keep, make sure it gets brought down here. Pack light, and dress in layers.”

“Boggs?” I asked quietly.

“Hmm?”

“Can I talk to you upstairs for a minute?”

Emilie looked at me funny.

“I just need to ask you about something personal.
I’ll get you back down to help in five minutes.”

“Sure, Zo.”

He held his hand out to me, and I took it eagerly. We walked the stairs together and I pulled him into our room. He shut the door behind us.

“What’s up, kid?” he asked.

“I just had a bad thought. Figured I’d run it by you before we actually do this whole thing.”

“Ok, shoot.”

“We don’t know these guys. They seem nice. Genuine. But with what just happened out there yesterday…well…what if they’re trying to get us all out of the cabin to take it over for themselves?”

“I actually talked to Gus about a scenario like that last night.
He agrees it’s worth the risk. We still have their weapons, and should be fine unless there’s an ambush. Gus thinks it seems unlikely. Plus, if they intended to take us over they could have made a try for it last night.”

“I trust you guys.
And I do like them both so far. It’s just hard to leave this place, and hard to trust others.”

“Everything else ok?”

“Yes. I want to add baby stuff to the scavenging list. Blankets, diapers, bottles, formula.”

“You’ll probably want to breast feed, Zo.”

“Probably, but…”

“But what?”

“We need to prepare in case I can’t. If I die, Boggs.”

“Shush.
Right now. Don’t even talk like that.”

He walked toward me and took my head in his hands, looking me straight in the eyes.
I knew this look. It was fear.

“We have to be realistic, Adam,” I said.
“Life is so fragile now. We have to watch our fronts, our backs, our sides, and there are absolutely no guarantees.”

He placed his forehead against mine and gripped my hair in his hands.
Our noses were touching lightly. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Zoe, or our baby. I promise.”

“I know you won’t, but things can still happen.
We have to prepare the best we can.”

He tilted my face up toward his and kissed me deeply, his tongue finding mine and moving in a slow rhythm.
He moved his hands to the back of my head, tangling his fingers into my loose braid. I could feel his tears on my face.

I broke our kiss and leaned my head back just far enough to speak. “No tears, Boggs.
We don’t have time for them. Not anymore, not in this life.”

“I love you,” he whispered.

Before I knew it, my feet were no longer touching the ground and I was in his arms. Within seconds, I was on the bed with him halfway on top of me, his hands frantically reaching up my shirt. I could tell by his touch that he craved the feeling of my flesh. His motions were desperate.

“I love you too, Boggs.”

He pulled my shirt over my head, exposing my pale blue bra. I watched as he took me in with his eyes. I reached up to unbutton his flannel shirt, now craving his flesh as well. He sat up, undid his own buttons, and let the shirt fall onto the bed beside us. He pulled his t-shirt over his head. I traced the cross tattoo on his pectoral with my index finger. His skin was warm and welcoming.

“I want to be inside of you, Zoe, so badly,” he mumbled.
“If I could live there, I would.”

I halfway rolled onto my side and reached behind my back, struggling to unclasp my bra.
The weight of Boggs sitting on my pelvis made it difficult, but to my relief he took over on the job and freed me from the piece of clothing that was becoming too tight as of late. I turned onto my back again, and Boggs placed his hands over my swollen breasts.

“These have gotten bigger,” he said in a deeper-than-usual voice.

“Yeah, my bra’s tight.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he said as he leaned forward and drew one of them into his mouth, sucking deeply and pulling my nipple toward the back of his throat. “You taste so good, Zo, like strawberries,” he mumbled into my breast.

My hands were on his back now, clinging to him, drawing him closer. I could feel the muscles of his back tighten. The feel of his mouth on me, and his smell, caused me to tingle deep down in longing. I lifted my hips to him, craving his manhood. I ground myself against his jeans zipper, which I could feel stretching from the strain of his erection. I groaned with desire, which was quickly turning to frustration.

“Make love to me?” I begged.
“Please?”

“Oh I intend to, Zoe Kate.”

And with that, he reached down to the waist of my sweatpants and tugged. I reached my own hands down to assist, and in short order my pants and panties were off and lying on the floor. The room was cold, and the warmth of his skin sent waves of electricity deep into my being. I fought with the button of his jeans, my fingers shaking. This time seemed different. Like it might be our last.

“Slow down, Zoe,” whispered Boggs in a loving, deep moan.
“Slow down.”

“I just want you inside of me, Boggs.”

He slipped his hand down between us to help facilitate the undoing of his button. Our fingers were counterproductive mingling with each other, adding to frustrations on both ends. After several painfully long moments of struggling, the button slipped through its buttonhole and Boggs slid his zipper down, his breathing quickening as I squirmed with desire beneath him. With a couple of grunts, he managed to slide his jeans off.

Both of us now fully rid of our clothing, Boggs straddled me.
I could feel his eyes tasting me. I looked at his shoulders as he leaned down and took my breast back into his mouth. He trailed the side of his hand down my belly, and slowly between my legs. I arched my back and moaned, and brought my hips up to meet his hand. His fingers twisted through my pubic hair, teasing me. I groaned and placed my hands flat on his back, partly pulling him to me and partly rising to meet him. I slid my legs out from underneath him and replaced them on each side of him. He slipped his fingers inside of me and twirled them.

“You’re so wet Zoe,” he moaned against the flesh of my nipple. “Oh God, you’re so wet.”

He suddenly rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I gazed lovingly at his face, and then leaned down and planted a deep kiss on his lips. His hands wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I arched my back, searching for his erection with the part of me that was now pulsating with desire. I broke the kiss, placed my hands on his muscular chest, and raised myself up, then back down so that his manhood slipped inside of me. I knew I was in control. Boggs closed his eyes, and groaned in pleasure. I slowly lowered myself until he was deep inside of me, and he let a moan escape from his chest. He sat upright and scooted himself, with me on top of him, back toward the headboard. He leaned back so we were now sitting facing each other, and I squirmed against him to feel him as deeply as I could. He pumped his hips to meet me, driving his shaft even deeper. I cried out quietly from the pain, although it was a pain I welcomed and cherished.

“Are you ok?” he whispered, slowing his rhythm.

I nodded ‘yes’ and sped my pace up as proof. I felt Boggs grab my hips, helping me to grind into him.

“Is this ok?” he asked quietly.

“Oh God, Boggs, yes,” I moaned loudly.

Our movements became almost violent as we expressed our love for each other.
As my body shuddered in release, tears of a mournful type of joy fell down my face. I collapsed against Boggs’ chest, and heard him climax in a glorious moan of pleasure. We lay like that, holding each other, until our breathing slowed.

We had spent a good part of the rest of the day organizing supplies and carrying things out to the step van. The sense of loss over leaving the cabin was upon my shoulders. I tried to stay busy and to not think about the bad things that were bound to come. Emilie did her best to keep my mind off of things, knowing I was worried. Susan followed Nathan around like a puppy every chance she got. I admit I felt relieved to see her romantic sights set on someone other than my own lover.

We sat in the living room for a final meal in what had become home.
We reviewed travel plans, emergency plans, individual roles, covered different scenarios for weather, running into the dead, and so forth. I would be riding in the front of the van, constantly tuning my mind in searching for any living dead within range. The trip shouldn’t take more than an hour or so, assuming the roads were clear of snow and debris, and assuming we didn’t run into any hostiles. Bill and Gus both liked that term. Hostiles. A route had been mapped out with alternate paths for on foot, God forbid it come to that. Assuming we got to within running distance of the house, we would stop the step van several yards away and allow Bill and Nathan to announce themselves first, for everyone’s safety.

“Time to head out,” announced Gus.
“Everyone ready?”

My breath caught in my throat.
I wasn’t ready. I wasn't ready for any of this. I could feel my heartbeat speed up. The anxiety was unnerving. Everyone else stood except me.

“Zoe.”
It was Boggs. “Zoe, we need to go now.”

I looked up at him, trying to comprehend the depth of those words.

“Ok,” I managed to say weakly.

He held a hand out for me and I took it.
He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. “It’ll be ok, Zo.”

The next thing I knew, we were all standing outside in the cold rain.
The back of the step van was well packed, including the deer carcass secured on each end by two ropes. A small walkway had been left between boxes of supplies in the event of needing to exit quickly. Susan, Nathan, and Emilie stepped into the back and Gus secured the back door by turning a handle. I heard them slide an improvised latch shut from the inside, making it so that hostiles could not gain entry from the outside. Gus climbed in through the driver’s door, and Boggs and I waited for Bill to climb in through the passenger door and into the rear of the vehicle where he would sit with Nathan and the girls. He had made a last minute trip to the shed to retrieve ropes he had forgotten to pack earlier. Once he was on board, Boggs helped boost me up into the cab, where I took a seat in the kitchen chair that had been placed between the existing driver's and passenger’s seats. I wrapped my arms around myself for warmth and closed my eyes to concentrate. My mind was gloriously clear of any signatures that belonged to the living dead.

“We’re clear,” I said as I opened my eyes.

Gus nodded at me, and turned the key. The step van roared to life with a shuddering rumble. Rain fell steadily, so Gus turned on the windshield wipers.

“We have a couple hours of daylight left,” said Gus as he started to pull forward.
“We’ll leave the lights off as long as we can. According to the map we’re about as high as we’ll get in elevation, so hopefully the roads will only get better as we drive.”

I looked at the gravel driveway briefly and noted that patches of snow remained, but most of it looked like slush now.
It was still cold out, but luck was on our side with the rain. The driveway was bumpier than I recalled it being. The van turned in a large loop and we began our trek away from the cabin. I wondered if we would ever see it again.

Once we neared the end of the drive, I felt the faintest of buzzes in my head.
I wasn't able to see anything it saw, and somehow I knew it was a lone zombie. A slow Roamer, most likely. The buzz was so weak it was unlike any I had felt before.

“We have company,” I blurted out.
“It’s either really weak or really far away,” I continued.

“Thanks, Zo,” said Boggs.

Gus rounded the corner of the drive, turning right onto the highway.

“This is the way we first came,” I said.
“The way we headed toward that bed and breakfast.”

“Yup,” was all Gus said in
reply. That outing held some bad memories for him, Boggs, and certainly for myself.

Bill called forward to us from his perch on one of the mattresses in the back.
“Is the B-and-B still standing?” he asked.

“It was standing the last time we were there,” said Gus.
“But, we scavenged the good stuff from it already.”

“Fair enough,” said Bill.

“We were also stuck there overnight, surrounded by the dead…uh…Runners,” I added.

“It’d be a detour as well.
The route we mapped out takes us past the turn off,” added Boggs from beside me.

We continued north on the highway, eventually veering west.
We passed a familiar minivan that sat in a ditch, its passenger slider door still open. We had passed this van once before and inspected it. It had been obvious that a family had been slaughtered inside. I tried my best to rid my mind of the images that had been burned into my memory back then. It had been raining that day as well.

After about fifteen minutes Gus slowed the van, coming to a stop.
“Fuel’s getting a bit low,” he said. “I think we’ll make it to your hole-up, but we should be watching for sources of gas to siphon.”

“Nate and I didn’t come this way, so I can’t claim to know of anything,” said Bill.

“We have siphoning gear, so if anyone spots a car, truck, ambulance…anything, holler. Zoe, how does it feel here?”

I focused.
“Fine,” I said.

“Ok, does anyone need to make a pit stop?
If so I suggest doing it now.”

“Sounds good,” said Emilie.
She appeared behind my seat and stretched.

“Make it quick, please?” said Gus, who smiled at her.

She smiled back. “Ok. Get out and keep me company?” Em seemed feisty today.

Gus grinned back.
I stood up, sat on Boggs’ lap to allow her to climb through the cab, and wondered what secret joke she and Gus had going on.

“I need to go too,” I said.

“Ok, everyone out,” said Gus. “Two minutes and we need to be back on the road.”

Boggs slid our door open, and helped me climb down.
The rain was heavier now, falling in sheets. The temperature felt like it was dropping and I thought I might have seen ice mixed in with the rain. I shivered, and followed Boggs as he led me away from the van toward the tree line.

“Still clear, Zo?” he asked me quietly.

I nodded ‘yes.’

“Ok, let’s make it quick.
I’ll make sure no one is watching while you do your thing.”

“Thanks,” I said quietly while I pulled my pants down and squatted.
I watched Boggs’ back while I peed, wishing I had an umbrella. It wasn't long before I finished and stood to pull my pants up. I was already shivering. I looked at the dark gray sky above and the rain falling down. I saw a bird fly over us and wondered what animals thought about the plague. Were they aware? Were they also afraid?

“Zoe.
C’mon,” said Boggs. “We need to get back to the van, hun.”

I nodded and walked to him.
He took hold of my hand again.

“Jesus, Zo, you’re freezing.”

My teeth were clattering together and I was shaking more violently.

“Let’s get you into the back and wrapped up in blankets.”

I didn’t argue.

Back inside, I had stripped out of a layer of wet clothes and was wrapped up in the comforter that Boggs and I had shared in our bedroom at the cabin.
Emilie sat beside me, also under the blanket. I leaned against her, grateful for her warmth. Bill had taken my place up front. Susan leaned against Nathan across the way from us. I hoped the happiness she had found overnight with Nathan would last.

“Do you suppose it’s much farther?” I asked Emilie.

“I hope not. It feels too open here. Too vulnerable.”

Gus called back to me.
“Zoe, how’s your head, darlin’?”

“Good, Gus.”
I tried to smile but was too scared and too cold to make it genuine.

The van bumped from ruts in the road, and rocked back and forth with the curves and bends.
The ride had grown rough, and I could tell Gus had slowed our pace accordingly.

“According to the map we’re nearly there,” said Bill.

The journey had been so uneventful that I was beginning to wonder when disaster would strike.

“That rock face there is familiar,” said Bill.
“The house should only be about five minutes or so up the way. I think it’s gotten too dark to risk walking the last part, so I’d suggest we go ahead and drive up. Just stay alert and let me and Nate get out first. I’d hate for Aldo to get all gun happy, assuming the worst like he likes to do all the damn time.”

“Fair enough,” replied Gus.
“Zoe, still clear?”

“
Yeah.”

“I’m pulling over.
Boggs, once the van stops go ahead and climb in back so Nathan can come up front.”

“You got it, Boss,” said Boggs.

They made the exchange smoothly and quickly and we were moving again without incident. Time ticked by slowly. The lone house came into view and Gus slowed.

Nathan sighed.
“I see the curtains in the living room moving.”

Gus brought the van to a stop.

“Ok, they know we’re here. Nathan, go ahead and climb out. I’ll be right behind you,” said Bill sternly.

The men both exited the van through the passenger door and slowly walked to the clearing in front of the old house.
It looked like an older single story home with peeling yellow paint and broken shutters. Vines, now dead for the season, climbed one end of the building. Like most homes out this way, the drive proper was gravel and littered with clumps of dead weeds, now blackened and limp for the season.

The front door was flung open and a young girl came running out.
She was short and slightly plump with two long brown braids hanging over each shoulder, down past her chest. She wore black round glasses that made me think of Harry Potter. The girl ran up to Bill and wrapped her arms around him tight. He returned the embrace and swung her around in a circle.

“That must be the little girl, what did Bill say her name was?” I asked.

“Abbey,” said Susan. “Nathan told me she’s really attached to Bill.”

“She looks like Harry Potter,” said Emilie.

“I thought the same thing. Maybe she has a magic wand and can make this all disappear?” I sighed.

By now another girl had come out.
She looked a lot like Abbey, but taller and leaner. She wore a single braid down her back, much like me.

“That must be her sister, Kelsey,” said Boggs.

The next to emerge was a man equally as impressive as Bill in stature, and about the same age. He was followed by a younger man.

“Jack and Aldo.”
     

The two men shook hands with both Bill and Nathan.
We watched as they talked and Bill motioned to the step van. After several seconds, Nathan waved and signaled for us to come out.

“Zoe, let us get out first,” said Boggs.
“You girls follow.”

“Ok,” I answered calmly, although I was anxious to meet everyone.

Boggs stepped out of the van, immediately followed by Gus. The strangers all stood and faced them, watching. Gus tipped his cowboy hat toward the group in greeting. Susan climbed up front and stepped out through the driver’s door, where Gus had just exited. She speed-walked toward Nathan, who watched her approach with a grin.

“C’mon, Zoe,” urged Emilie.
“Let’s go say hi.”

I took a deep breath before climbing down from the van.
A wind was blowing in gusts. It felt close to freezing out. At least the rain had stopped, even though the sky looked dark enough to pour for days.

Emilie and I started walking toward the others.
Gus and Boggs were busy shaking hands with the man Bill’s age, Jack, and Susan was standing beside Nathan. He had his arm comfortably around her. There was an air of excitement as we approached. A good excitement for a change.

“And this is Emilie…and Zoe…” said Gus.

“We should get inside, out of sight,” said Jack. “We can talk in there.”

“Should we empty the van?” asked Susan.

“No. No, I suppose we won’t be here long enough for that,” answered Bill.

“Let’s go in and talk,” said Jack, his tone curious.

Gus nodded. “Sounds good.”

As we proceeded toward the front door, rain started to fall again, heavily.
Wind whipped by, stinging my face.