Tainted (28 page)

I told the girls the next day how mad Ian had been.  Well, they didn’t believe it.  Lorah knew enough that Ian had “the look” in his eyes from the apparent extensive studies on the court men and their reactions to things Sarah did.  Interesting studies ladies.

When I told them that we had it out and then we both fell asleep they eyed me with suspicion so my guilty conscious gave up at least half of what happened.  At least I had girlfriends again.  And I hoped they weren’t the kiss and tell kind.  Oh, I pray.

I left out the part about the bed tumbling and gave them at least the steamy parts against the wall and after the bathroom.  He’d been standing outside the room right where I left him when I opened the bathroom door.  I hadn’t looked any cooler even with my elaborate splashing and the two of us stayed fully clothed.  We laid down separately on the bed to wait out the next few hours.  We finally gave up being far apart from each other and both went to eat in the kitchens.  He told me blond jokes till I fell out of my chair from exhaustion and then carried me back to my room where I woke up alone. 

I cornered Sarah for a trustworthy session of WHO DUNNIT! 

“What exactly do you want me to do?”

I observed first and confirmed no brainwaves, bodies, or eavesdroppers of any kind.  “I need you to just try to read my mind.  Let me find out something.” A detective’s work is never done.

“What?”

“When I know, I’ll tell you.”  FBI Grace on the case as the Freaky Babelicious Investigator! My Caylie side was showing out.

Sarah fretted for a little longer and finally caved, “Fine.  But let’s hurry.”

“When you’re ready?”  I lifted my pendant and put it outside my shirt.  I could tell Sarah was concentrating, but felt nothing.  Then, my head zapped and popped at the same time.  Just like at the Unseelie court, with Kin, and with Pike.  That’s what I needed.

I smiled at Sarah to give her the “you can stop now” face.  She did immediately. 

“Well,” she asked.

“I just confirmed that Ian has some kind of special link to me?”

“You needed me for that?”

“Yes.  He apparently has his own special let me know head mojo that tells me he’s ringing my bell, so to speak.”

Sarah threw her hands up, “TMI Babe!” 

Holy human lingo, Batman.
I rolled my eyes back at her, “Not the message I was sending,
BABE
.  I meant that he has a specific signal.  Something that lets me know it’s him breaking or blocking into my mind.  Everyone else has the same as each other.  Like a zap.  He’s different.”

“Well, I guess that’s just another tick off the list of why he is your meant to be.”

I looked off into the clouds looking for rain, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Sarah rolled her eyes back and told me she needed to be off.  We said our goodbyes and I headed off to the range for a quick practice before lunch.

Another event in my life will be ticked off today as done and I was absolutely scared to freaking death.  Today I will see the Unseelie court king and light the summer fire with him in attendance.  This day would make the Fey history books as the first half human Firebearer and/or Seelie court queen to light the torch.  I had to make an offering that I’d decided days ago and was now reconsidering because I was concerned with how the other king would perceive it.

I heard the court bells ring and knew the king was near making myself check every amulet and double check.  I’d spent the morning trying out shields and blocks and mojo on all my friends from the book club.  They were tired of my fits of insecurity, but very accommodating.

For the hundredth time, I ran my hand through my long sun-kissed blonde hair that was hanging in the back with flowers and maple leaves and ribbons.  I straightened my long silk green gown that I’d worn the night I found out who I was in this world.  I stood up tall and met Pike at the door and watched him as he figured out my face was slightly apprehensive.

“Ian greets the king.  Lazyra stands with him. Your presence is what he awaits next.”

A pang of fear hit about him possibly knowing he’d met me once under false pretenses, but shoved it aside because surely he would have already retaliated on that little charade.  I had to keep my thoughts guarded and make my first meeting appropriately sanctioned to the court standards.

I took Pike’s arm and followed out through the garden into the larger area that had been cleared for the arrival.  The great dining room twinkled as it always did on celebrated occasions.  Since it was near dusk, the candles were lit everywhere the eyes could see.  Soft music played from somewhere though I couldn’t find the source.

I saw Lazyra extend her hand to the same king I’d already met.  When I stepped forward to follow her lead Pike released me to Ian and I dipped my head in a slight bow to him.  Ian reciprocated the bow then turned his head to Pike for a greeting of arms.  I watched.  Nothing was said.

We filed into the great room and took our appropriate seating arrangements.  A meal was prepared and the opening words were needed to begin.

I stood as King Sane did.  I still couldn’t believe the irony of his name.  Think on that one.  Think IN and add the SANE. 

He procured the proper words to begin the lighting and thanked our court for having the honor of yet again a new Firebearer born and of age to carry on the torch.  My mother was not present although she did volunteer to be here.  That meant a lot to me, but Ian decided her presence would be distracting and dangerous for me and for my dad to be left alone.

I took my leave with a heavily guarding protector Pike at my side.  Ian was expected to stay in the watch seat.  And boy was he
watching
every move I made.  I walked around the edge of the room passing the seats that Ian and I sat in each day for meals.  He preferred to not sit at the front of the room on stage, but rather with the people who made him humble and put him in his place from time to time.  Or at least, this is how I interpreted his seating arrangement choices.   However, I let my eyes peek at the Unseelie king and quickly decided I didn’t think King
IN
Sane would ever do something like that.

Pike brought me to the entrance where it all began just under a year ago.  I stood in much the same attire and traversed down this same aisle.  I briefly pictured my wedding and walking down its length marking a new day for this reoccurring dream.

Danella handed me the folded jeans and rainbow tie-dyed t-shirt.  These are my favorite clothes in the world.  My last bit of physically shown humanness I had in the court.  I was giving it up.  Sacrificing them.  I hoped the people would appreciate what a major give this was for me.  I walked slowly bowing at the “egos” for each court and carrying my bundle as well as my lighted torch.  Piece.of.cake.

I advanced to the bowl, placed my items in it, and lit them on fire.

“I the Firebearer

here light the torch

...pause...

I, the queen of the Seelie Court

give sacrifice to the Firebearer of the summer court

...pause...

I, the king of the Unseelie court

give sacrifice to the Firebearer of the winter court

...pause...

we begin the solstice of the summer court

and hereby give sacrifice of my human world

and leave behind what need I will banish.”

The fire burned out seconds later.  My clothes...were gone.

Movement and whispers surrounded me.  That was it.  All she wrote.  Kapish!

I walked to the torch on the wall and lit it.  Blazing like the sun, this torch was rather large and warm.

Ian’s eyes followed me as Pike walked me back to him now.  Pike released me once more and I sat where I’d previously roosted with the other court bigwigs.  The court boomed out in laughter and wine and food in a fast frenzy the second I sat.  Everyone followed all the governing rules to appease both courts as far as I could see.  The politics surrounding the two Fey courts were still a puzzle for me, but the record keepers were slowly getting me more acquainted with the ends and outs of both though half the time it seemed simply to stare at each other and try not to make the other angry enough to retaliate.  And of course, Kin had helped fill in gaps with the winter court end. When I asked why we didn’t light the torch for the winter end solstice, he sadly told me that it ended when his mother died.  Her sister was the previous one who died not long after his mother.  They lost their Firebearer.  When I asked Kin about who would take the post, he stared a long time at nothing then started in about the Nyms.  It seemed to me that the Fey courts were altered in many ways at my birth year.  However odd that seemed to me, it answered the question of where so much animosity surfaced from. So who was the winter Firebearer. And why were they absent?

When the king left his appointed seat, he stopped in front of me and stared.

“The Unseelie court thanks you for your alliance with the Nym camps.”

No one flinched. 
Uh, oh!
  Slightly forgot to mention this to anyone.  “Thank you.  Our court sends its regards to the Nyms that we will honor their lands and make good on the lost ancestry.”  Why did Kin tell him?

“I am most enamored by your queen.  Meeting with my son to amend regrettable decisions on your part is admirable.  Might she see fit to join my camp for the night for a glass of our court’s finest?”  He continued to stare at me.  On one hand I was ready to pounce at any of my own court to cry out in protest to what I’d done or that it was revealed I’d met with their prince.  Instead, the focus stayed on his invitation.

Ian eyed Pike.  Pike must have given some signal I didn’t get at all because Pike stepped forward, bowed, and turned to Ian, “The queen is most needed in the records room this eve.  Another time.”

King Sane made no move for anything to show his disapproval.  I for one, held my ever loving freaking breath.

“Very well.  Till we meet again at winter solstice end since you see fit to continue it on like it was done before, my lady,” the King of
IN
Sane bent, bowed and kissed my hand.  He was his son’s father.  Lord, they were just alike. 

I sat in the garden allowing myself to process much of the information that wouldn’t map out in my head.  We briefed about the light, but not officially.  I may be better at increasing public relations for the courts, but I did a poor job letting them each know I did so.  Instead, I recapped to myself about my skill level.   I recalled what Ian said the night Altheon taught me to block better. 
“…I can’t read your thoughts without great concentration, nor blocking.  But I can affect the thoughts of others.  Eventually, you’ll be able to block, persuade, reveal, and talk at the same time. I can sense when someone breaks into my thoughts and will be able to see when they break into yours…”

He’d given me a glimpse of what was to come.  And I was doubly disturbed by the fact that my three Prince dudes can hear my innermost thoughts about them among each other if they allow, or used to before I practiced, as well as my extra ordinary ability to smell them coming anywhere near me.  It just all seemed overwhelming.  Is it me or do the topics of discussion get weirder and weirder as time goes by in this world?

I heard a noise. 

It was Ian.  My extra sensory smell alert was in track mode since being taken a second time.  No doubt my emotions were reading me to him like a book.  His face glowed!

If his emotions were as high as mine at seeing him, what was my skin doing.  I looked down at my arms. 

“The same, my queen to be.”

“Ah, my perfect match.” 

His face smoothed over, “You discussed with Kinsler alone about the Nyms.  When were you going to tell your court?”

I knew the conversation would come.  “I honestly forgot about it.  Not so diplomatic and up to leading, am I?”

“I didn’t say that.”  He shoved both hands in his pockets.  I’d already noticed he’s changed to jeans.  It wasn’t fair, but he looked so good in them I would never protest. “And you gave permission to light the flame of the other solstice?”

“NO!  Now that part was not discussed with the king.  It was in private with Kin.”

Ian’s eyes widened losing the glow, “Private?”

I downplayed it as quickly as it rose.  Feeling stupid and far from able to persuade even a mouse to back out of a trap, I told him it was just in a passing conversation.  He breathed in deeply, stepped closer still and pressed his lips to mine before anything else. His arms stayed down resting on my hips helping me to stay frozen wanting the moment to last.  His tongue moved against mine making me shudder and he chuckled into my mouth.  I smoothed my hand over his heart and then slapped him tenderly.  “You!” I said into his mouth.

He pulled back, “I just love to feel you do that.”

“Why?  So you can be reminded of the power you have over me?”

“Well yes, and that I am yours for the taking.”

Not soon enough.  He read my thoughts so easily.  Breathing with a normal rate proved difficulty near him.

“Why, my love I do believe you’re panting.”

“So not fair dear prince.  You leave me…”

His smile raised a touch and did the breathing in thing again.

Hmm!
 

“Eh..um,” came from behind Ian.  He ignored it at first.

I was leaned into him and whispering, “You’re being paged.”

“If I ignore them, maybe they will go away,” he whispered back.

“Eh…um.  Sir.  You are needed.”

He left me there while he went with Bane giving him a “thanks a lot” look.  I sat by the fountain and continued in my glow.  Maybe, finally Ian and I would have peace together as a normal couple.  I still wondered when he would actually ask me to marry him.  He kind of hinted at it a while back, but nothing official.

Alone again, with guards poster, I pondered long and hard on everything my life had changed courses with in my giant puzzle board of Crazyville.  I was a broken piece somewhere in the middle that didn’t quite fit the picture it was supposed to be, but they claimed me to be this person, and I accepted it. 

Getting antsy for Ian to return I sat taller and waited when upon hearing footsteps behind me.  I wasn’t worried about enemies because Rion was in sight, but the pungent smell of Pike was sending me vibrant messages right now that danger came in different packages.

“Yes Pike?” I asked before he could get farther.

“That really is uncanny that you can do that.”

“Handy is more like it.  All my favorite princes have to hit my radar before they can entertain my presence, I just never told you before.”

He snorted, but I didn’t know if that was because of the crack I made about the three of them or because of the way I referred to all of them somewhat equal.

Behind me now, I realized he hadn’t really interacted with me lately other than on the range since the second rescue.  The panic I’d seen in his eyes when he saw me appear by the trampoline was sheer terror and relief all rolled into one.  I still wondered if that was an indication of how he felt about me or if he was just stressing about what Ian would do to him if he didn’t find me.  But after looking into his past a little and knowing now he’d make such a sudden change as of late, I’m second guessing that second theory and believing the first.   After talking to Kin for so long and finding out about the growing up with a no friend’s life, I am starting to wonder if Pike and Ian were in the same boat.  What if Ian was the lonely prince who was always doing his mother’s bidding like Kin was to his father.  And what if Pike was the lonely wayward last year’s prince who felt discarded and had no friends to soothe the pain.  That would explain why the three of them came together one day and agreed to disagree on terms they could handle so that the three of them could have some level of friendship.  And then…I came along.  The bubble was broken and the enemies returned to their appointed corners of the world.  The sadness that grew within me at that revelation really made me determined to change the way things are.  But how?

Pike interrupted my fairy land tale I’d spun with two hands on my shoulders.  I tensed at once not wanting anyone but Ian’s touch on parts not normally touched.  Yes, they are just shoulders, but that is just me.

He immediately took them off and came around to stand in front of me.  Since he is a good deal taller and now standing looking down at me, I was forced to incline my head way up to see him.  He saw my discomfort and bent on one knee in front of me. 
How nice!
  I knew he couldn’t hear the sarcasm in my voice since I was blocking like there was no tomorrow.

“You are alone.  Why are you not with someone?”

Well, loaded question kind of, but really wanted to return it back to him.  If he was
with someone
this all would be a lot easier.  “Ian had something to do with the guards.  I’m waiting.”

“I will keep you company until he returns.”

Great!

“Did it ever occur to you that if I were “the best friend” you grew up with and Ian was the sidekick who watched from afar things might be different?”

Another loaded question that never needed asked or answered.  “It didn’t happen, so why ponder the what if’s?”

“I have to Grace because that is what I wanted.”

So I switched the shoes and closed my eyes.  “If you’d had the other stick of fate would you have been as caring and quick to rescue me as Ian?  As quick to scare off Kin when he did?  As—“

He started to interrupt but my hand flew up to his face, “Just remember you ask me to do this.”  I waited till he was silent again and continued on with my eyes wide open and staring into his face directly.  “If you’d been my stationary best friend, would I have embraced this cynical, impatient, constantly loathing everything in his life Pike.  No, I don’t think I could have.  I was in that place at one time.  A very short time.  And I hated the person I was.  Ian brought out the best in me.  He wanted me to love me.  He made me see that my strangeness wasn’t something that should hold me back.”

“But he did that simply by making himself look just as strange in your eyes.  He cheated.”

“Pike, he was thoughtful and kind in all the right ways to me.  Maybe he can be stubborn sometimes and even withholds pertinent items of information that I feel I should have known, but I understand his motives just as I understand your motives now.  I really am flattered that you hold me in such high regards from all the way back through the years, but I never saw that person.  You never showed me one ounce of yourself until afterward.  I remember a shy gorgeous guy who always stood back and just watched.  Half the time I worried you were spying on me to catch me doing the supposed magic everyone attributed to me, but you never revealed otherwise.”

He put his head down.  He’d asked for this.  I guessed he was finally admitting to himself that he simply just messed up from the beginning. 

“If you feel this way about me like you say you do, then admit to yourself that you had no idea how to ever have a relationship with me in the first place.  We should be able to talk to each other without ending up in a hotheaded mess.”  I felt bad for being so honest.

“And you and Ian have that?  The completely open unnerved conversations you expect?”

“Pike, don’t pretend like I didn’t come to realize that you were there every single night we laid on the trampoline.  You know the answer without asking.”

Yep!  His eyes bugged out.  Loved that affect.  “Yes, I could sense you then though I didn’t know till recently what exactly it meant.  I just always knew there was a fire near.  Your scent tells me when and if you are close then and now.  When I catch the scent of a campfire burning I will always stop and assume you are near.”

“And every single night on the trampoline you smelled this?”

“Well, as far as I can remember.  I remember commenting to Ian many times that the neighbor must have a fire going.  And many, many times the smell of rubber or leather as if they were burning tires who I know now, was Kin.”

He took this all in stride, but he didn’t seem to want to comment.  And he didn’t for a long time.  Finally he said, “I am amazed on so many different levels every single time I talk to you.  You have gained wisdom and insight in so many as a few weeks, haven’t you?  I will not deny that all you say is true however I cannot give up on having you either.  When I catch your scent on the wind I can’t stay away.”

Okay.  This is a repeat of what Kin said.  Why are all these men so determined to have me when I was so not wanted for years?  Oh, wait.  They claimed they did then too.  Ay!  Ay!  Ay!

“WAIT!  My scent.  I have a scent?”  I was right again.  It goes both ways.

“Like a full garden.  It changes with the wind, but it’s always floral and strong.  It’s how I find you when you block your mind from me.”  He told me a secret.  A freaking Pike secret.  Hello!  I was dipping into new developments, but so not something I wanted to explore with Pike.  But he told me.  Didn’t hide it from me.

“Pike, I will keep all this in mind, but just know that my heart belongs to Ian.  That will not change no matter what my other two princes seem to think.”

“Other two?”

Dang!
  “Um, Kin gave me a speech something similar to yours.  He thinks, or feels like I might change my mind.  He’s on that end.  Ian is on this end.  And you’re my middle man.”  I laughed at my scenario like explanation tacky as it may be.

His face fell far turning pale ashen white too quickly alarming me, “Pike, snap out of it.  Are you okay?  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have said that.”

He stumbled upward mumbling, “The prophecy is right…we are…he is...I am...the odd man out.”  And he was gone.  What in the freaking world was that?  He knew something.

I whirled my thoughts into a twist with a longing for answers where everyone left me in the dark wanting a copy of the prophecy to reread and see what he meant.  If I hadn’t been so startled with the idea that Pike was giving out a valuable piece of information in code that I was processing slow and didn’t muster my vocal cords to react too, I would have yanked him back and held him down till he gave.  Hey!  No I wouldn’t because he’d have like that. But I
will
topple Ian tonight and extract some answers wherever they may be hidden.  Fun!

Hmm!  I feel you.
  I concentrated hard to let Ian know I knew he was right behind me.  I’m surprised Kin didn’t take a turn on the Grace-o-meter of toying with my emotions for the day.

He placed his hands on my shoulders just as Pike had, but I relaxed and butterflied up within my head and stomach at the same time.  If I stayed still, maybe he’d wrap around me.  I felt his hands move down around the front of the blades and warm lips kiss my neck after he moved my hair aside sending a slow hum around my shoulder blades and down.

“Do you feel that too?”

Oh! “
Ahhh!”
 
I moaned
.  I freaking moaned. 
“What’s your aim, get me unfocused?”

“On the contrary, I want you completely focused on me right now.  I saw how you tensed when Pike grabbed your shoulders and simply wanted to see if I had the same effect.”