Authors: Rachael Duncan
“Holy shit. I would’ve never recognized you. You look fantastic, nothing like I remember you from high school,” I tell her in amazement.
Still focusing on her cake, she shrugs and says, “Yeah, well some of us change over the years.” I start to say something, but she cuts me off. “If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if we didn’t take a little trip down memory lane, okay? My memories aren’t as bright as yours,” she mumbles the last part, stands up and leaves the room.
What the hell was that all about? I look over at my mom and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
“Do you really remember Autumn in high school?” she asks me gently.
“Yeah. She was really smart and kind of quiet. Always kept to herself. Why?”
“Let’s just say, what you remember and the way high school actually was for her are two totally different things. She started working for me at that time, and she was one of the saddest girls I had ever seen. It took quite a while to break her from her shell.”
“I know she was slightly awkward, but what would make her so upset?” I wonder.
My mom sighs, “Landon, high school was hell for her. She was constantly bullied for the way she looked and the way she dressed. Kids would pull vicious pranks on her and call her all kinds of horrible names. She wouldn’t talk about it for the longest time. It wasn’t until she started losing the weight and gained some confidence before she confided in me what she had gone through.”
“Do you think that’s why she stormed out of here when I emphasized how good she looks now?”
“It’s a possibility. She’s a strong woman and always puts on a cool front, but the bullying still haunts her. She has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she doesn’t look like that person anymore. Sometimes when looking in the mirror, she still sees the young girl who was overweight with braces and glasses who was tortured by her classmates.”
I’m an idiot. The first girl to really catch my eye since I was 16-years-old and I make her uncomfortable and remind her of a past she wants to forget. Just great.
“Don’t I feel like an asshole,” I say, rubbing the back of my neck.
Mom pats me on the back. “Autumn will be okay. She’s still dealing with her own insecurities and this town reminds her of that sometimes. I think she would’ve left a long time ago if it weren’t for her dad.”
My mom goes into her office and I look at the first delivery slip. If I really think back on it, I can remember Autumn getting harassed every now and then. I never participated in picking on her, but I never spoke up and stopped it either. That kind of embarrasses me too. I was popular and carried a certain amount of influence. If I stood up for her, I’m sure I could have made a little bit of a difference and deterred some of the bullying.
The rest of the day is spent with me running in and out of the bakery. I had no idea Mom’s business had picked up so much, but she’s doing really well for herself. I had helped her remodel the place to give her more work room to do bigger cakes, and it looks like it’s paying off.
I only catch Autumn’s eye a couple times where she gives me a tight-lipped smile. To be honest, that kind of disappoints me. Then I’m confused as to why I feel that way. I’m still technically married and it’s been a really long time since I’ve even thought about another woman that way. I might have had a lot of girls throwing themselves at me and practically shoving their pussies in my face, but I never acted on any of it. I was always faithful and loyal to my wife and my vows. That thought makes me feel a little bitter, since I wasn’t given the same respect when she walked out on me.
***
I told Mom I’d cook dinner for her and Dad this evening. I hope she’s not too excited about it since my culinary skills only go so far. While I’m at the grocery store, I run into a few girls that I’d be perfectly okay with never seeing again. They were your typical mean girls in high school, and unfortunately, they were friends with my girlfriend at the time. For the life of me I couldn’t understand what Val saw in them since she wasn’t one of those girls that spread rumors and fed off of gossip.
I see Alexa sneer at me and I roll my eyes.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” she says.
“Nice to see you too, Alexa,” I deadpan.
“She has every right to leave you, you know. You promised to take care of her and now you can’t. The whole town is talking about it. No one blames her for wanting to divorce your washed out ass,” she says, examining her long, red claws. I’d really like to strangle her with them.
“Is that so? If that’s the case, then I’m glad I’ll be rid of her then. Have a good one.” I walk away, leaving her with her mouth hanging open.
The thing I loved about growing up in a small town was everyone knew everyone. The thing I hated was because everyone knew everyone, they knew your business too. Word quickly spread that Valerie left me and by the time I actually made it back, the whole town was well aware that my marriage was falling apart. It also didn’t help that it was being splashed all over those damn, sleazy tabloids. Nothing like seeing your face on the front page of a magazine that’s speculating as to why we’re separating. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the fact that we were both from the same town made the locals go crazy over the gossip, causing them to pick sides. At first, people felt bad for Val, the doting wife whose life was being turned upside down because of my injury. How could anyone be expected to stay with such uncertainty and instability? Her old clique would go around telling anyone who’d listen that they should all support her. That I’m the reason behind the lifestyle that she’d grown accustomed to and now I couldn’t give that to her. I can’t fucking believe this shit! What about for richer or poorer? I guess all she heard was for richer or richer. But for the most part, people have been real supportive of me, seeing Val for who she truly is. Words like gold digger and money grubber quickly circulated and became the town’s new favorite saying. Whatever. I just tried to stay the hell out of it and move on with my life.
Once I arrive home, I go to the kitchen and start the prep work for the very “fancy” dinner I’m making; spaghetti and meatballs. I know, I know. It’s not gourmet or anything, but I’ve perfected the red sauce and meatballs. Really, it’s one of the few meals I actually know how to cook.
A little while later, my mom enters the room. “Mmm, that smells good, son.”
“Thanks. It’s my famous recipe.” I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek.
She laughs softly and says, “Don’t you mean
my
recipe?”
“Eh, whose recipe it is isn’t important,” I shrug and dip a wooden spoon into the sauce, slurping it off to have a small taste. It’s pretty damn good if I do say so myself. About another 30 minutes and it’ll be ready. I cover the pot and go to the fridge to get out a bottle of water. Taking a seat at the kitchen table, I take a long drink before leaning back in my chair.
“Thank you so much for running those deliveries for me. Autumn and I have had to get to the bakery super early just to make sure we have time to decorate and deliver.”
At the mention of her name, I decide to dig a little. “So, is Autumn seeing anyone?”
Subtle, Stone, real subtle.
My mom’s lips quirk up in a knowing grin. “Why do you ask?”
I shrug and rub my thumb against the condensation on my water. Glancing back up at her, “No reason, just curious is all.”
She squints at me, “No, I don’t think she’s seeing anyone. It’s funny you’ve taken such an interest in her suddenly. After all, you are still married.”
That last comment has me pulling back from my internal thoughts about Autumn. My mind had started to envision what it would feel like to wrap my fingers through her hair as I capture her plump lips with mine. But having my mother mention that I’m still technically married to the devil herself quickly douses any fantasies lingering in my head. Plus, what kind of man does that make me? I’ve been with Valerie for nine years and only three months after being told she wants a divorce I’m already thinking about what it’d be like to get this other girl underneath me?
To be honest, I’ve had a lot of time to think over these last three months though. I was really upset when Val dropped the big “D bomb” on me right after my injury. It crushed me to think the love I had for her wasn’t reciprocated like I’d always believed it was. I pictured myself with her forever; having a half dozen kids running around and enjoying old age together. Now that I see her true colors, I almost feel relieved. I might have been fooled for the last nine years, but I won’t let that happen anymore. That’s why I’m not fighting her on the divorce. I’m not sending messages or calling her asking to work through this. The way I see it, she’s doing me a favor.
All that still doesn’t explain my interest in Autumn; a girl I know next to nothing about. But I plan to change that, because that little twinkle in her eye she had at the bar when she laughed with her friends makes me want to peel back her beautiful layers and find out who she is.
Sweat is running down my neck and pooling in my cleavage as I finish off the last few minutes on the stair master. I’m climbing away as I go over Landon’s reaction yesterday when he realized who I was.
I know I should probably take it as a compliment, but it made me mad. He didn’t even know I existed when I was fat, and now that I’ve slimmed down, he suddenly sees me? Yes, I’m still bitter at my classmates for being such assholes. Nothing pisses me off more than running into one of the trolls that picked on me and have them ask me out on a date. I smile and politely decline, but internally I’m calling them every dirty name in the book and telling them to fuck off. I never repeat the words out loud because then I’d be letting on that they really got to me all those years ago. I didn’t cry or complain then, I’ll be damned if I do it now. To hell with them all.
So why do I feel angry toward Landon? He never bullied me when we were in high school, but when his eyes flashed with a mixture of amazement and disbelief, it set me off. Is it so hard to believe that I could be somewhat attractive? That I wouldn’t keep getting wider as the years went on? He looked at me like he couldn’t believe that was the same girl. Whenever someone gives me that expression, I just want to yell at them and say, “WHAT? DID YOU THINK I
WANTED
TO BE FAT?” Apparently, I have some lingering resentment that I still need to work through.
I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts that when I glance down, I’ve done an extra 15 minutes on this thing. I wipe my sweat off the machine and hop down. When I do, I collide right into a solid wall of chest muscles. A pair of hands place themselves on my shoulders to steady me, as I slowly glance up. My eyes scan this impeccable body, starting with a firm chest that I want to run my hands up. I glance a little higher to a very sexy, strong jaw showcasing a little stubble and quickly think of all the places I’d like to feel that stubble on my body. Feeling the heat of my desire, I take in his delicious lips and suddenly feel the desperate need to kiss them. I look up and lock my gaze with his hazel eyes that I want to get lost in. My first thought is,
Where in the world did that come from?
My second thought is,
Oh God, I just collided my sweaty, smelly body into Landon and I’m slightly mortified.
Giving me a knowing grin that tells me I totally got caught checking him out, he says, “Sorry about that. Are you alright?”
I blink a couple times before I realize he just asked me a question. “Y-yes. I’m fine. Sorry I just got sweat all over you. That probably really grosses you out.” I take a step back from him, looking down to hide my embarrassment.
“No worries, I’m used to it. Usually it’s 300-pound guys that are sweating on me, so this is nothing.” I look back up and he winks at me. I swear I just swooned. Wait, me?
Swoon
? And wasn’t I just thinking about how much he pisses me off? I need to get my head checked, because clearly I’m bipolar. “Do you come here often?”
At that lame attempt to start a conversation, I start laughing. And I can’t stop. He just said the most cliché line known to mankind and it seems so odd coming from him. For some reason, I thought he’d be a lot smoother than that. He starts chuckling beside me, then says, “Okay, that was really cheesy, wasn’t it?” His eyes are still lit up with laughter, making it a little easier to relax next to him.
“Yeah, maybe a little. That’s okay though, I needed the laugh.”
“Good, glad I could brighten your day at my expense,” he jokes. “What I meant was, how often do you come here during the week? This is my first time to this gym. My doctor has given me the okay for some light workouts and I don’t want to drive all the way in to town to use my trainer’s facilities. So maybe you could show me around.”
My eyes start looking around the gym. It’s an old habit, one I wish I could break. But whenever an attractive guy is talking to me, I always scan the surrounding area for people watching. This stems from an incident at school.
It’s my junior year and the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I’m almost out of here. Walking to my locker, I count the days until I’m free. Only 256 school days left. It’s pretty sad that I have a constant mental tally of the time I have left to serve, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel gives me strength to deal with the crap the kids give to me. Shutting my locker door, I turn around and see a guy leaning against the one beside me.