Syncopated Rhythm (10 page)

Skylar laid a hand on my shoulder then turned and said softly,  “She doesn't think we know, that we can't see it.  But ask her.  Ask her where home is.  Ask her why she can't be alone without music playing.”  She squeezed my shoulder and left to join the girls again with a huge smile on her face.

I got to the couch and Amber was laying on it with Sammie playing with her socks as they watched the movie.  She grinned up at me and raised her head so I could slip back in.  She just grabbed my hand and held it to her as we watched the last few minutes of the film.

I nervously laced my fingers in hers.  She didn't pull back, she simply adjusted easily and started rubbing her thumb against mine. 
Achievement Unlocked:  Holding hands with Amber Lee!
  It felt so... right.  Oh gawd it was getting hot in there.  She glanced up shyly then quickly back at the television.  I glanced around. 
Why the hell are they all looking at us with those silly grins?

When the end credits were scrolling Amber sat up, though she didn't release my hand and she stretched cutely.  “Well ladies.  It is about time to be heading back to the hotel before we turn back into pumpkins.  Thank you for such a fun evening.”

Sammie was first to speak.  “You are here for a couple more weeks then Thanksgiving.  Don't use the hotel excuse too much and come visit as often as possible while you are here Auntie Amber.”

Kim said, “Yeah, what she said Pinkie.”

Skylar nodded and waggled her eyebrows at us.  I snorted at the display and Amber chuckled at them.  “Message received.  I love you girls.”

We all stood and she finally let go of my hand and re-fastened her pink wig.  I was sad to see her gorgeous hair get hidden away.

Then hugs were given all around.  I blushed like hell and needed to escape. 
Scotty, beam me up!
Skylar said to both of us, “If we don't see you ladies this weekend, we'll see you Monday at Art in Motion since you and Flower have solos Amber.”  We made our way out of the living space and looked down the stairs to the darkened cafe level below.  Valentine's had closed shop around six or seven.  I looked at the time on my cell.  It was almost ten now, we had lost track of time since we were having such a good time.

Amber almost skipped down the stairs, I had to suppress a giggle at her playfulness.  After some cussing at him and sweet talking, Baltar sputtered to life and we were on our way back to the hotel.  I chanced a glance over at her.  She was looking at me.  I said, “You could have stayed with them you know.  I could have picked you up on Monday morning.”

She waved that away with a hand and said, “But then I wouldn't get to spend time with you.”  Her self satisfied grin made me smile back through the blush that was trying to consume me like a fire wyvern.

After we got back on the freeway heading into Seattle.  She inched her hand over to mine that was just resting on the center console then playfully captured mine and laced our fingers without a word.  I was going to die, she was heating me up in all the right places as we drove in silence.  After a bit we exited into downtown Seattle and she finally spoke, raising our hands a bit.  “You don't mind do you?”

I tried to speak but it was more of a squeak that embarrassed me farther.  “No.”

She gave me a cheesy grin. “Good.”

And that was that.  We parked in the hotel garage and walked into the lobby with me on her arm again.  Right smack dab into an ambush.  A guy reading a paper in the lobby jumped up and started snapping pictures of us.  Amber's eyes flared in fury and she released my arm and guided me toward the elevator between the man and me.  Hotel security was swarming out of a side door to usher the man outside.

It all happened so fast I was getting whiplash, but I understood.  Amber wouldn't want to be seen with someone like me.  When we got into the elevator Amber had a look of distress and... compassion? As she blurted out, “Oh God.  I'm so sorry about that Ky.  You don't need to be subjected to that kind of crap because of me.”

I looked down.  I don't know what I was feeling, but it felt like shame and embarrassment.  “No... I understand.  Why would someone like you want to be seen with someone like me?”

She looked frustrated.  “No... what?  You think...  Damn it Ky!”  Then her lips were on mine.  I don't know if my stomach was fluttering because of the heat spreading through me or the elevator coming to a stop on our floor.

She broke the kiss, I gasped for air, and she looked into my eyes.  Gawd I could get lost in hers so easily.  “Does that feel like I wouldn't want to be seen with you?  You are frigging spectacular!”  Then she was gone.  The elevator doors started closing.  I shot my hand out to stop them.

My knees were weak.  Amber LaLanie just kissed me! 
OMG... Level up!
  I wobbled my way to my door.  She had already gone into her room.  I heard music start up as I passed her door.

I straightened up a bit remembering what Skylar had told me... “Ask her why she can't be alone without music playing.”

I brought my finger to my lips, I could still taste her, feel her lips on mine.  Then I entered my room and dramatically collapsed on my bed.  I couldn't get her out of my head, so I grabbed my iPad and started working.  I'd normally be online in moments to play Robo-Terror, but I was too preoccupied trying to figure out what had just happened.  If I concentrate on these presentations, I can keep my mind occupied enough I can't think about other things.

I don't know how long I was working when I heard the music in her room suddenly stop.  Then there was a light knocking at the connecting door.  I looked at it in fear and longing and hoarsely said, “Come in.”

She walked in shyly.  Good God she was spectacular in her night clothes.  Her hair and those marvelous random white blotches on her side.  She had all her makeup off.  I tilted my head and noticed she had one of the marks on her face.  Wow was the only word that came to mind.  More than ever my snow leopard analogy came to mind.

I realized suddenly what I was working on and quickly cleared the screen on my iPad and sat it down.

She said softly, not making eye contact,  “I'm sorry Ky, I shouldn't have...”

I cut her off.  Why did I suddenly feel like crying, or screaming, or both?  I was tearing up as I rasped out, “Don't you dare Amber.  Don't you dare apologize for that kiss.  It was possibly the most perfect moment in my life.  I'd like to think you meant it.”

She looked at me then my iPad then locked her gaze on me.  She sat beside me on the bed.  “Ok... but I did mean it.”  She laid her hand on my cheek and I leaned into the soft warmth, craving the contact.

She motioned up and down at herself in shy embarrassment.  “Taa daa... this... this is me.”

I smiled at this wondrous woman and whispered,  “So beautiful.”  All I wanted to do was kiss her again.

We stared at each other in silence for a moment then she looked away with a cheerful smile.  “So whatcha doin' there?  You always clear your screen when I walk in.”

I grinned and shrugged.  “Just some production ideas.”

She let me off the hook and just nodded.  I turned to her.  “Amber... you don't talk about it ever. Where do you call home?  Iowa somewhere?”

She looked down then at me.  She seemed to be studying me.  Then it looked like she had made a decision and tilted her head and grinned slyly.  “Wherever the wind takes me.”

I tilted my head and squished my face up in confusion.  She shrugged and flopped back on the bed dramatically with her arms spread wide.  “Whatever hotel I happen to be close to.  I don't really have a home per se.  I am always on tour, in the recording studio, or doing benefits for children across the nation for the Callahan Foundation.”

I squinted at her, she was being evasive.  What was it Skylar thought was so important I know? “But on your own time, you know between gigs.  Do you have a place in Iowa?  Do you stay with your parents?”

She paled a little and looked at the ceiling.  I sat down next to her and put a hand on her arm.  She looked at my hand and smiled a little then she stared back off into space. Her voice was a million miles away.  “I don't know why I'm telling you this... I just met you.  But... I trust you Ky.  I've never told anyone.  I don't have a home anymore.  I have seriously lived out of my suitcase for the past ten years. Whenever I stay with Kim, Sky, and Sammie, that is the closest I have to having a home... a family.”

She paused and I silently stroked her arm gently with my thumb.  Letting her get her bearings. Then I asked,  “What about your parents?”

She shook her head.  “Mom was a single mother.  Wasn't around much.  I doubt she even realized I had gone for weeks after I left when I turned eighteen.”

She was silent again.  I didn't want to push.  She grinned suddenly and yanked my arm and I fell onto my back on the bed beside her and we both stared at the ceiling.  I looked back at the connecting door as I absently played with her silky hair.  “Whenever you are in your room you are playing music, you play it all night while you sleep.  Is it research or do you just like music that much?”

She looked over at me and she looked almost hurt.  “Ky don't.”

I tilted my head at her, then looked back at the ceiling.  It was quiet for a few seconds.  I decided to change the topic but she started talking in a whisper.  “Can you keep a secret?”  Then she turned her head to look nervously at me.  She gave a sad smile.  “Of course you can...”

She took a deep breath.  “I have to have the noise or the silence will come crashing down around me and remind me I am alone.  I know... I sound pathetic.  I'm sure a shrink would have a great time sifting around in my head.”

I shook my head and snuck my hand into hers and laced our fingers.  I gave her hand a little squeeze. “Not at all.  But... why?”

She took a breath and shot another quick glance at me.  I could tell this was hard for her and I couldn't believe she felt comfortable confiding in me.  Her lips were pressed into a straight line on her face then she started speaking again,  “It sort of all goes back to my mom again.”

I turned my head and watched her as she spoke.  “She always had to work two or three jobs to make ends meet.  She was never around.  I can't blame her, she was just doing the best she could and raising a child on her own on top of it.  She was always mad, always yelling at me.  The neighbor lady would watch me while she was working, but when I started first grade, Mrs. Heath had moved away.”

Her eyes looked almost haunted.  “Mom couldn't afford a sitter, so when I wasn't at school I stayed in our apartment alone, her anger had doubled by then.  There were two rules... so that we could stay together.  When I got home from school I had to go into the apartment and lock the doors right away.  And more importantly, I had to be as quiet as a mouse.  Not make a sound so the the downstairs neighbors wouldn't know I was home alone.”

Her eyes looked watery as she continued.  “It was always so silent all the time, I was constantly scared to death to make any noise until mom came home late at night.  I was so alone and that silence was deafening, screaming in all around me.  Then mom would be gone in the morning to work with cereal waiting on the table for me to eat before the school bus came.”

She closed her eyes, she looked so... broken?  “But one day when I was twelve, a new neighbor moved in downstairs.  My silence was broken by the music they would always play.  I craved that music.  I wanted to live in the lyrics and let them wrap around me and hold me so I didn't have to live in my isolation.  I didn't have any friends at school because they all made fun of my vitiligo.  I became Amber Lee, Leper of District Three for the rest of my school days.  But that music from downstairs became my friend.  Whenever it wasn't playing, that deafening silence would attack, leaving me feeling so alone, on the verge of panic.”

She took a deep breath and her face took on a certain look of resolve and she turned to me.  “So I became the music, and I want to share that music with everyone.  I know how it can engulf you and share the emotion in the words and make you forget about everything.”

She ended in a shrug and an embarrassed smile with those watery eyes.  I hurt so much for her, I wished there was something I could do to take that pain in her eyes away.  I reached my hand down from her hair and laced my fingers with hers.  I stared at the ceiling.  “Tell me about Amber Lee.  I want to know everything.”

I could feel her turn her head then she looked back at the ceiling.  “There isn't much to tell, but I'll answer each question you have but you have to answer a question from me for each.”

I squeezed her hand.  “Deal.”

Then we spent hours just lying there talking about ourselves, about life, about our dreams.  Truth be told, I could have shared with this fascinating woman forever.  I have never in my life felt so comfortable sharing all the embarrassing details of my life with another person.  I told her things I never told my mother and I have always rearguard my mother as my best friend, my confidant.  But around three in the morning we were both exhausted, it was hard keeping my eyes open but I wanted to know more about this spectacular person. 
She is more... real?  Than I would ever had guessed.

She finally said, “Let's take a little break Ky.  Can we just lie here for a little while?”

I just nodded and whispered, “OK.  And Amber... you really shouldn't hide yourself away.  You are amazing.”