Sweet Seduction Shield (20 page)

Didn't I?

Two jeans clad
legs appeared in front of my vision. I'd been staring numbly at the
floor before the settee. Ryan crouched down until he was at eye
level, a sadness laced with conviction stared out at me from dark
chocolate tinted eyes.

"Are you OK
with all of this?" he asked, reaching up and touching my cheek. He
seemed unable to resist touching me for long. I liked that he could
openly reach for me now, but how long would it take for this
decision to come between us? For him to realise I was not worthy of
his touch.

"No," I
replied quietly. "And neither are you."

"Marie," he
began, but I sealed his lips with a soft brush of my own, feeling
for the moment a type of bitter-sweet bliss, before it was ripped
away forever.

"I need to see
Daisy," I announced, standing up before he could deepen the kiss as
he'd obviously been intending.

"What are you
going to do?" he asked, a hint of wary fear looking back at me from
his handsome face.

"Just talk," I said over my shoulder, letting his fingers slip
free of my hand. I didn't add aloud,
for
now
. But I thought it.

I walked in a
numb kind of haze through the house searching for my daughter. She
wasn't in the penguin painting room, or the room where she'd been
sleeping. She wasn't in the kitchen, but as soon as I walked up to
the sink, I could see her out of the picture window, swinging on
the swing beneath the Cherry Tree, while Abi, Kelly, Genevieve and
Eva looked on from the deck.

I wasn't sure
where all the ASI men had gone, but for now their absence was a
bonus.

I walked out,
smiled at the chatting women, but didn't get drawn into their
cheerful conversation, and headed straight over to my girl. She was
singing softly to herself as she swung her legs underneath her
seat, and then let them fly out in front.

And the song? It wasn't a Country tune, like those Eva had
been singing. It was
Daisy Bell
.

She beamed at
me as she kept singing, so I walked behind her and started to
gently push. Before long I couldn't stop myself singing the last
few lines of the song with her.

"It won't be a
stylish marriage. I can't afford the carriage, but you'll look
sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two."

"Daisy," I
said, feeling my throat constrict and tears threaten my eyes. "I
need to talk to you, sweetheart."

"OK, Mummy,"
she said merrily, slowing the swing as I walked out in front of her
and knelt down in the grass.

The swing
slowed even further when she saw the look on my face.

"What's
wrong?" she asked, her little legs barely touching the ground
beneath the seat. Each bare toe stretched like a ballerina’s in
order to still the motion of the swing completely.

Where to
start? And how much to tell a five year old?

"I loved your
father," I said softly, and watched as her eyes widened in utter
surprise. I'd never talked about Rick. Hell, I wasn't entirely sure
if she knew his name or not. Time to change that. "His name was
Richard Costello, but I called him Rick."

"Rick," she
repeated, testing the name on her tongue.

"He wanted to
give me the world, and that would mean, you the world too."

"The
world?"

"Buy expensive
things, live in a fancy house, drive a flash car. Those sorts of
things."

"Oh," she
said, her eyes lighting with possibilities.

"But those
things cost money, Daisy-girl. And when I knew your Daddy, we
didn't have much money." She slumped on the swing seat, not liking
that part of the story. Well, this was never going to be a
fairytale, was it? "I didn't mind that we didn't have money, I was
happy to be with Rick. But your Daddy, he had big plans, big
dreams. Ideas that needed money. And he didn't want to wait."

I took a
steadying breath in, here was where it got difficult. For me. For
Daisy. For the memory of Rick.

"Sometimes
things don't go as you plan," I whispered, and felt more than saw
Daisy slip off the swing and come towards me.

I looked up
and there she was, an adult's gaze staring out of a child's
innocent face.

"Bad things
happened, didn't they, Mummy?" She crawled onto my lap, no doubt
needing the comfort of touch.

"You are so
clever, Daisy-girl," I whispered into her hair. "I'm so proud of
the young lady you are becoming."

"He's dead,"
she said, snuggling in further.

"Yes," I
agreed, voice slightly broken. "I'm so sorry, baby. He'd want to be
here for you growing up, but Rick, well, he couldn't stop chasing
his dreams."

I gave her a
kiss on the head, inhaled the shampoo we'd used on her hair the
night before, and held her tight.

"A bad man
killed him, and that bad man is trying to stop me from telling the
world that I know."

Oh dear God,
was I doing the right thing? She's only five years old. But kids
see things, we think they don't. And if I did this, I wanted her to
hear at least some of the... sordid details from me. I am her
mother. It would be me who prepared her for what could possibly
come.

"I love you so
much, Daisy. You are my world, you know that, right?"

"Yep," she
whispered.

"If I thought
running from this bad man would work, I'd do it. I'd pack our bags
and we'd run. But you know what I've discovered?"

"What?" Still
one word answers, she was frightened and I was causing this
fear.

I swallowed
thickly, but pressed on. "I trust our new friends. I trust
Detective Pierce. I trust Abi and Ben. And Genevieve and Nick. Adam
and Kelly and Eva. I trust them all to keep you safe, even if there
comes a time when I may not be able to."

"Mummy?" She
swung her head towards me, fear and angst darkening her face and
slicing through my heart. "Don't go," she begged, throwing her arms
around my neck, burying her face in the crook of my neck.

Oh, hell, this
was pure torture. This was insanely wrong. I'd made a mistake, I
shouldn't have said anything. I can't do this to my baby girl. I
can't sacrifice myself, cost Daisy her mother, I just can't.

But if I don't
do this, what am I teaching my daughter?

I started
crying along with her, so unsure if this was the correct thing to
do, but so certain that one day I'd regret not doing the right
thing in the end. One day she'd find out the truth, maybe from
someone other than me, and how would she look at her mother then?
Knowing I hid, I let a man get away with murdering her father, when
I had the means to stop him and those he worked with. The means to
do what was right.

I clung to her as she clung to me, rocking back and forth in
the middle of a backyard. And even though my thoughts made sense,
and were the only correct thing to do, I rebelled against them.
This was my daughter. My baby. Mine. I could
never
let her go.

Strong arms suddenly wrapped around us, the brush of hot lips
and tickle of a goatee beard across my cheek. The gentle murmur of
Pierce's words as they caressed my heart and settled Daisy's
whimper.

"I'll make
sure your Mummy is safe, Daisy-girl," he said, and I watched as her
tear-filled eyes lifted up to his face. A sense of wonder crossed
her features when she looked up at the man who still held us both
in his arms. "I won't let anything bad happen to her, I swear." Oh
God, another promise that should never be made. "But she has to do
this," he added and I sucked in a breath, surprised he actually
understood. "It's the right thing to do, Daisy, and you want your
Mummy to make you proud, don't you? Just like she's so very proud
of you."

Daisy nodded,
flicked her gaze between the two of us and then sniffed loudly,
managing to wipe a hideous amount of snot on her sleeve at the same
time. I forced myself not to cringe, not to reach for her sleeve
and immediately clean it. Now was not the time to let my aversion
to snot take over.

But I did make
sure that sleeve didn't come in contact with my skin.

"You promise?"
she asked Pierce, crossing her arms over her chest and holding his
gaze.

"Daisy," I
warned, about to explain how Ryan couldn't make such vows.

"I promise,"
Pierce said, squeezing the arm that was snaked around my back to
let me know he had this, and I was not to interrupt at all.

"I know you
got to do the right thing, Mummy," Daisy said softly, still eyeing
Pierce with an expression I hadn't seen on her face before. It
looked to be half awe, half determination. And maybe another half
of child-like love.

I was so very
proud of her right then, though. I smiled and leaned forward to
give her a kiss and a cuddle, completely forgetting about the snot
covered sleeve.

"But when you
come back, can Deetetiv Pierce be my Daddy instead of Rick?"

Both Pierce
and I stared at her, mouths hanging open. Where the hell had this
come from?

"Um," we said
together, then quickly swung our heads to stare at the other's
face. He looked as stunned as I felt.

"Daisy," I
began as Pierce said, "Not a bad idea," offering me a wink. Trying
to lighten the moment.

And my five
year old daughter added, "That's settled, then," in a perfect
imitation of her Mum.

"Just because
you have bamboozled my daughter into thinking you're the best bet
to keep me safe and therefore a prime candidate for fatherhood,
does not mean she knows what she's saying," I said to Pierce in my
bedroom.

We'd not
mentioned a word of our conversation with Daisy over lunch, and
strangely neither had she. It was as though she was content to keep
it our secret, although she kept flicking glances at Pierce and I
as we sat side by side across the table. Some of them rather
pointed, especially when Ryan's arm slipped off the back of my
chair in order to pass a dish to one of the others eating lunch
with us. As soon as his arm returned to my chair back, he'd give
Daisy a wink and she'd beam.

He was playing
her. He knew he had an in with my child and he was milking it for
all it was worth.

"We've known
each other a handful of days, she has no idea how relationships
form. Hell," I added, pulling clean clothing out ready to change
for our trip to retrieve the ledger later tonight, "I've never even
introduced her to a boyfriend before. She probably thinks I'm
useless at finding a man for myself and you're just the best
bet."

"I am the best
bet," Pierce said from his recline against the closed door to the
room. He'd shut it as soon as he followed me in here and no amount
of furrowed brows and glares from me had made him move.

"Pfft," I
inarticulately argued. "You've shown her five seconds of attention,
the first male attention she's received practically her entire
life, and she's sold on your being 'the one'."

"I am 'the
one'," he said reasonably, a smirk gracing his lips. "Daisy has
good taste."

"No," I
replied, pointing a finger at him, which ended up making the shirt
I held in the same hand flap around in the air. "You're just
convenient. Right place, right time. And your ridiculous promise of
keeping me safe, when you know damn well that you can't guarantee
that, is what sealed the deal for her. You're attentive, a good
protector, and you're available - although I'm sure that last one
wouldn't have stopped her from placing you at the top of the
list."

"I am attentive," he said, stepping away from the door. "And a
good protector," he added, taking another step towards me. I backed
up to the bed, realising I'd made a fundamental and strategic
mistake. I should have had this argument out in the lounge. That
had two different exits running off it. "And I am available," he
conceded. "But is that all I am to
you?
"

"What do you
mean to me?"

"Marie," he
said coming to rest right in front of me. His fingers tracing my
jaw and running down my neck before I could stop him. "I'm all of
those things, Daisy is right. But that's not all I am to you, is
it? Be honest, your daughter has seen what you're refusing to
acknowledge right now."

"Don't be
ridiculous," I breathed as his head dipped and his lips trailed
over my skin, from my shoulder up to my ear. I shuddered, making
him chuckle, his goatee tickling with the movement.

"I know it's
only been a few days," he murmured against my skin. "I know a lot
has happened in that time, a lot of external and internal things,
to throw your world out of whack." A hot lick of his tongue against
my heated flesh, the touch of his fingers into the dips above my
rear, pulling me closer. "None of it matters," he whispered, his
lips coasting over my neck and throat, bringing his attention to
the other side of my face. "Because I already know," he
finished.

"Know what?" I
rasped, as he gently sucked my skin into his mouth, his tongue
laving the slight bruise he created.

"I know I'm
not letting you go. I know I'm not letting you face this alone. I
know I want to explore this electric sensation that arcs between us
whenever we're close. I know that the beauty I see inside you
reaches deeper than I can ever envisage. I know that I've already
lost myself to you and I haven't even had a taste yet. And I know
once I do, there'll be no going back, because I imagine you taste
utterly divine."

His body quaked against me, as though the picture he was
painting inside his head affected him deeply.

"Do you?" he
asked, retuning his lips to my neck and suckling again.