Sweet Reunion (23 page)

As Justin walked up the front path, he felt dread
building in his gut about the idea of seeing his father, even for the few
moments it would take to pick up Noah and be on their way. He wondered whether
to knock or ring the bell. Dammit! He was a grown man. Why did his father make
him feel unsure of himself, like some junior high kid trying to figure out how
to ask some girl to the dance? He needed to take this situation in hand.

As it turned out, though, the choice was a moot point,
because Noah came barreling out of the front door when Justin was not even
halfway up the walk. The kid moved like he was spring loaded, Justin observed
in amazement.

Rick Barnes followed Noah out more slowly. He smiled
at Justin, and seemed equally unsure as to how to proceed. He gestured around
at the yard and front of the house.

“Looks pretty different, huh?” he asked, and Justin
could detect a faint note of pride in his voice. Justin glanced around the yard
coolly. “Did something change?” He asked, forcing his voice to sound
indifferent and shrugging, “I hadn't noticed.”

He thought he would feel a small measure of triumph at
the wounded look which entered his father's eyes, but all he felt was a strange
sense of disquiet. Was that guilt? Ridiculous. He owed Rick Barnes far worse
than that little jab.

Either way, he figured it was best to just get out of
there. If there's one thing that hasn't changed, he grimaced to himself as he
climbed back into the car with Noah, it's that my father brings out the worst
in me. Always has, always will.

--- ~ ---

Justin turned to Noah, sitting next to him in the
passenger seat, and willed himself to shake off the effects of his encounter
with his father. He plastered a wide grin on his face and prayed that Noah
wouldn't recognize it for the false, forced cheer that it actually was.

He needn't have worried. Noah was abuzz with so much excitement
and enthusiasm that he probably wouldn't have noticed if Justin sat in the
driver's seat sobbing. He was utterly wrapped up in his own world of joy, and
Justin began to feel enchanted by the boy's happiness.

“So, I was thinking,” Justin began, “that, unless you
have something else in mind that you'd like to do, we could head down into
Tahoe. How does that sound?”

“All right!” Noah exclaimed, pumping his fist into the
air. “I was so excited last night I couldn't fall asleep! I just kept watching
the window for the light to come.”  Noah told him.

“Me too,” Justin lied. Well, it was a half truth.
Justin had, in fact, been unable to sleep the night before, but it was nerves
rather than anticipation that had robbed him of slumber.

“This is going to be the best day ever!” Noah
enthused, wiggling in the passenger seat with excitement, looking out the
window at the passing trees – trees that he must have seen a thousand times in
his young life, but that now seemed suffused with magic and the promise of the
day, because he was with his big brother.

Justin was beginning to realize that Amanda was right,
he really needn't have worried. This kid was not going to be judgmental of his
halting efforts at connecting, he was simply so thrilled to be with him that there
was a softly  forgiving glow cast over any mistakes that Justin might make.
With wonder, Justin realized that the glow was love. This kid, who he had
barely met, loved him.

To someone like Justin, someone who had been living an
emotionally isolated existence for the better part of a decade – hell, longer
than this sweet kid had been alive – it was an odd feeling to be the object of
such blindingly abject devotion. But, Justin realized in the latest of his
string of increasingly shocking revelations, he liked it. He liked it a whole
lot.

--- ~ ---

“I win!” Noah exclaimed, running to retrieve his
brightly colored golf ball from underneath the wooden windmill where it had
gone into the hole.

“You sure do!”  Justin laughed, “I'm really horrible
at this! How did you get so good?”

“I'm very talented,” Noah said solemnly.

Justin, struggling to keep a straight face, nodded at
Noah with equal solemnity. “Agreed.” he intoned.

“Plus,” Noah smirked slyly, “I can tell you're letting
me win. But I don't care, because it's still fun.”

Justin laughed, “You're a pretty smart little dude.
Seriously, though, you're really good at this. How did you get so good?”

“My Dad takes me,” Noah said, “He takes me when I get
good grades, or when it's my birthday.”

“Oh,” Justin said, “that's great.”

Of course Rick took him, Justin chided himself. He was
having a hard time reconciling the picture that Noah had been unintentionally
painting of Rick all day through offhand comments – a Rick that was thoughtful,
attentive, trustworthy, financially solvent, owned a car, and most of all was
sober – with the Rick that Justin had known, and the image that Justin still
held of him. These were two entirely different individuals.

“Sometimes, when it's really special, my Dad will take
me to the Forest Room, and we get food from the buffet, and we ask the waitress
if we can sit where you can look at the lake. Sometimes the sun is going down
and the sky is purple and orange!”

“That sounds amazing,” Justin said. He was starting to
get disheartened, thinking there was nothing that he could take Noah to go do
that Rick didn't take him to all the time. Justin knew it was immature, but he
suddenly had a competitive streak in him. He wanted to take Noah on an
adventure that was entirely new, and theirs alone.

Suddenly, inspiration struck. He knew the chances that
his father would take Noah to Reno were slimmer than here in Tahoe, because
Reno used to be the main place that he would disappear to on benders. If he
were serious about his recovery, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to
go down there just for fun.

Justin looked at his watch. Plenty of time to drive
another hour and a half, and still be back in Hope Falls by nightfall.

“Hey, buddy,” he said, “Do you want to drive a little
farther and go to Circus Circus?”

“Yeah!” Noah replied, pumping his fist into the air in
what Justin was starting to realize was a signature gesture of enthusiasm.
Justin's heart skittered a little when it occurred to him that he really was
getting to know this boy, his brother. He had only been with him for part of
one morning so far, yet he was already starting to be familiar with his facial
expressions, his cadences, his gestures, and his particular idioms.

He marveled at the power of the bond with Noah that he
felt strengthening in his soul, and the speed at which he felt it forming.
There was no other word for it but “love.”  Was that possible? Could he already
love this child, after having spent less than two hours with him? Was that the
magic of genetics?

Justin smiled. He didn't care how or why he already
felt a brotherly, almost a protective and paternal love for this child, he just
knew that he did – and he was going to enjoy it.

“Then Circus Circus it is,” Justin said, smiling
affectionately down at Noah and ruffling his hair as they headed toward the
car.

Chapter 23

Amanda was fast losing patience with Geoffrey. She was
not the type of person whose patience often failed her, but it was definitely
wearing thin right now.

Amanda had pulled out all the stops in making a nice
dinner for Geoffrey, who had just that afternoon flown back into town to spend
time with her. She had cooked a special meal and done her best to make the
dining room romantic with mood music and candles, in what Amanda hoped might
signal a return to normalcy in their relationship.

She didn't feel good about the kiss she had shared
with Justin. It wasn't, she admitted readily, that it hadn't felt good, it
certainly had. It was that she didn't feel good about it.

Amanda was a good girl at heart. She wasn't wild,
hadn't been even as a teenager. She was a homebody. She took care of people,
like her father. She took care of the business. That had been part of
Geoffrey's appeal – he didn't need taking care of, in fact, in many ways he
took care of her.

She was now beginning to realize, though, that the
ways in which he pampered her, the lavish gifts, the spectacular weekend
getaways – were not the ways in which she truly needed to be taken care of,
deep down inside. They were amusements. And yet she'd let herself believe that
a whole relationship could be based on those things alone.

Still, she clung to the image of herself as someone
who would never – NEVER – kiss another man while she was in a relationship.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, she heard Karina's voice intoning dryly,
and she smiled.

Still, even though she had lost her head and given
into the temptation of that one magical, tempestuous moment – she would NOT be
the sort of person who left a relationship because they started another
relationship behind their significant other's back. She would not be a cheater.
She would make this relationship with Geoffrey work if it killed her, dammit.

Still, a little voice inside whispered....but what if
you knew you could trust Justin? What if you knew he was staying?

She shouted down that little voice, and refused to
entertain the idea. But no, she reminded herself, the reality is that I
absolutely cannot trust him. That's the point. He hasn't even committed to
staying here with me, not really. He's made comments that
could
be taken
that way, but words were different than actions. She'd learned that the hard
way. No matter what happens with Geoffrey, the one thing I know is that
counting on Justin, trusting him with my deepest emotions, is not an option.

So, she had settled in to make this evening with
Geoffrey special. She had dressed up, in her fanciest dress. She had made her
one really great, trusty, go-to fancy dish: Beef Wellington. She had placed lit
candles on every surface that would stand still. Sure, it wasn't like Geoffrey
jetting her off to Paris for a weekend (not a metaphor, it had actually
happened), but in Amanda's world, that was her version of pulling out all the
stops.

But Geoffrey just couldn't seem to be present, be in
the moment. All he kept talking about all evening was her father's will, and
how they could find a loophole to sell the property faster, and finally Amanda
had just about had it.

“Listen, Geoffrey,” she said in frustration, throwing
her napkin down on the table, “I honestly don't know how many more ways there
are to say this, or how I can be clearer. I don't plan to sell Mountain Ridge
Outdoor Adventures. I never plan to sell it. Honestly, I don't know why you
care so much!”

“Because, Amanda,” Geoffrey said intensely, but then
seemed to falter. He seemed to be casting about to arrive at the reason why he
kept pushing her about this issue, but this confused Amanda. As adamant as he
was about pressuring her to sell the place, he should have a pretty good idea
why he felt that way, shouldn't he?

Geoffrey rolled his head from side to side, easing the
tension in his neck. He breathed deeply and started again.

“See here, Amanda,” he said in a much more even tone,
“Don't you realize the life that we could have together? The adventure? The
travel? If you are tied here, and in fact are even more firmly bound here than
you were before, since you will be the ultimate authority at the little outdoor
park, you will have no freedom to move about the world with me. I want a full
time companion. I thought that you would be that person, but I'm beginning to
suspect you have no interest in filling that role.”  This last bit was said
with a bit of a pout, but Amanda had the sense that it was all for show, that
he was watching her carefully through downcast lids to see if his performance
was having its desired effect.

Amanda shook her head, “No, Geoffrey, you're
absolutely correct about that. I have zero interest in flitting around the
world with you and getting spa treatments and 'doing lunch' at an assortment of
interchangeable hotels while you're off doing business deals. That's not a life
I would ever want, but especially when that option is stacked up against
running my family business, the business that I love, and maintaining my
father's legacy. Those two choices aren't even in the same realms. Honestly, if
you thought I was going to run off with you and be your little trophy playmate,
I don't think you really know me at all...I don't think you have any real idea
of who I actually am.”

They sat in stunned silence, staring at each other,
lost in their own thoughts. Amanda was honest with herself, maybe for the first
time in their entire relationship, when she admitted that she had no real idea
at all what was going on inside Geoffrey's mind, and now she wondered if she
ever had. He definitely didn't know what was going on in hers, and she was
beginning to wonder if he ever had, as well. She was starting to look back over
their entire time together through a jaded lens, viewing their interactions with
a new and cynical spin.

He had looked at her and seen a wholesome and
attractive young mountain girl and wanted to show her off, got a kick out
exposing her to the finer things in life and seeing her awed reactions. It made
him feel like a hero. He had allowed himself, she suspected, to believe that
because she was delighted by his various impressive gestures one weekend every
month or two that she would be all too eager to abandon her world and turn it
into a lifestyle.

She, however, had been equally as guilty of seeing
what she wanted to see in their pairing. She had taken all of his dazzling
plans and grand gestures as more than just spectacular baubles waved in front
of her face to impress her, but rather as tokens of true affection. She had
thought that if he were willing to go to all the trouble he went to for her
every time they saw each other, that must mean that he really cared, deep down
inside.