Sweet Desire (Tales of Dystopian Decadence Book 2) (5 page)

“Let me serve you,” I murmured against his ear and undulated beneath him. “Do what you want to me, whatever you need. I’m here for the taking.”

He thrust into my hand with an inarticulate moan, even as he tried to hold himself over me, to keep from giving in just yet. With one hand, he worked on shedding his boxers, until he was able to kick them to the floor. I knew it would be too much to expect to attain my own orgasm if his need was this intense, but this wasn’t the time to concern myself with that. If Nicholas was finally ready to take this step, I wanted it to be without any anxiety or regret. Once he had his initial release, I knew we could go from there. The thought of sex as therapy made me smile a little.

Before he could have second thoughts about my proposal that he simply use my body to sate his own, I angled my hips just right and pushed against him. He tried to draw back, but I pressed forward, inviting him into my warmth. The head of his shaft slid just inside me, proving I was as ready for this as I could ever be. I thrust my hips up toward him again and he glided effortlessly along my wet passage until he was sheathed deep within me. He gasped, a gratifying sound for me to hear, to know
I
was the one eliciting it from him. The pressure of him filling me tore an exhalation from me as well, and we pressed our foreheads together, bodies and breaths entwined.

I felt his furrowed brow as he whispered, “I want this to last long enough to make you happy. You are too sweet for me to use you like this, Violet. You should be protected and cared for. Not…”

“Not hammered like a nail?” A small giggle bubbled past my lips. All this time I’d anticipated making love as something sweet and serious, but I found myself giddy at the prospect of being the only person Nicholas had known in twenty years. I wanted to tell him we had forever, isolated here together in the middle of nowhere, but I knew that was a lie. Especially since we had both loved and lost.

Sobered by that thought, I kissed him lightly and stroked either side of his face with both hands. “It’s okay to let go,” I answered, meeting his gaze. “You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of me. That’s what I want, so just do what you have to do.”

I knew what I was giving him permission to let go of – his past, his pain, his fear. It was so much more than an invitation to loosen the iron grip he retained over his self-control. It was an invitation to finally lay all his trials and tragedies to rest, and start over new.

With a sigh, he moved within me. The fullness took my own breath away as he penetrated me again, then again, each stroke long and deliberate.

“I’m here,” I whispered, clutching at his arms and arching against him. “I’m here, Nicholas, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Something about my words must have liberated him from his initial tentative thrusts, because he plunged into me so hard, I cried out. Every time he crashed against me, I touched him, caressed him, let him know I was there for him. His pace increased and I stayed with him, encouraging him to release everything. It was time for him to stop holding back and time for me to stop letting him.

Nicholas’ cry of pleasure reverberated through me as he shot his seed. It pumped into me in a gush of liquid heat and then seeped down along my thighs, drenching our lower bodies and the bed. But it didn’t matter. Though I had not attained my climax, though it had not been the polite act I’d always expected, I reveled in his copious ejaculate. It was not just a physical release, but an emotional one as well.

He lay atop me, panting until he caught his breath. As his breathing evened out, he rolled to his side and gathered me into his arms. I felt him press kisses to the backs of my shoulders and neck, and felt the wet warmth of his tears on my skin.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Chapter 6

When I rolled over, it took a moment to remember where I was. Nicholas’ scent and heat, his warm arms encircling me, and tension thrumming through my body… We had fallen asleep in the evidence of our act, but it didn’t bother me. Not once had I felt the need to scrub myself clean, or apologize for giggling in the moments before intercourse. The heady sensuality of it all had kicked my refined upbringing to the curb, and it was welcome to do so again.

Oh yes, I hope there is an again...

Despite the fact that Nicholas smelled so good and we were comfortably snuggled together, I slipped from the bed, gathered my clothes, and tiptoed from the room. After a shower and change of clothes, I crept downstairs to start dinner. As the vegetable soup simmered, I set the table and tried to ignore the need ebbing and flowing within me. The nap had left me a bit fuzzy-headed, but the encounter… I wanted more. It could be against a wall – any wall – but it had to happen again, or I would be the one going crazy.

“You left.”

I turned at the sound of his voice. When I saw his frown, I was not certain what to expect from him. He crossed the floor in one stride and pulled me into his embrace. My face pressed to his chest and I could feel his heartbeat beneath the plain white t-shirt he wore.

“I didn’t like waking up alone,” he said against my hair.

“I didn’t mean to worry you. I just thought you would be as hungry as I am. Besides, I don’t really like napping.”

When he finally let me go and nodded, I let out a sigh of relief. “That smells good,” he said, before kissing me on the forehead.

I relaxed in his arms and waved toward the pot. “Salt is the real secret to anything. It brings out the flavors in most foods.”

“Is that a southern belief?” He looked down at me, one eyebrow raised.

Not sure if he was serious or mocking me, I laughed and shook my head. “It’s a cooking truth, Nicholas.”

“Fine. I won’t make fun of you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, interlaced his fingers just behind my back, and sighed. “I needed that. You have no idea how frustrated I was.”

“Oh, I certainly do.” I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips.

He looked down at me, wide-eyed. “What’s that expression for? What do you mean?”

A smile tugged at my lips and I said, “Besides the fact that you left the, um, physical evidence of just how ‘backed up’ you were, you were impossible to deal with from the moment I set foot in this house.”

“Impossible?”

“Absolutely.” I grinned up at him, unwilling to back down. “I could use other words, if you prefer. You were a jerk, a pain in my butt, or – as my sister might say – an asshole.”

He arched his brows and looked down his nose at me. “I suppose you’re right. What do you think about me now?”

“Well...” I traced his lips with my forefinger. “You might be on the road to recovery.”

“Might?”

“Time will tell.”

“Let me show you ‘recovery’.” Nicholas picked me up and swung me over his shoulder. I giggled and pounded on his back with my fists. “You might want to think carefully about what you say to me,” he mock-growled. “I could take it the wrong way, and then where would you be?”

Up against a wall, I hoped!

“Fine!” I said. “You're a paragon of compassion and good humor! I’ve never met anyone so charming!” He bounced me against his shoulder and I squealed, clinging to his arm.

“That’s right, say what I want to hear. I control everything now.”

My breath hitched and I whispered, “Is that so?”

He lowered me to my feet and our gazes met. “It is, Violet, just as it should be.”

Before he could elaborate, a hissing sound disrupted the moment. “Oh!” I turned around and realized the sizzling was due to the soup dribbling up and over the sides of the pot. “The heat’s too high!” I dashed to the stove and turned it down. “Well, I guess it’s ready. Sit down and I’ll serve dinner, and then we can go right back to bed, if you’re up for it.” I hesitated and glanced back at him. It was more of an Azure quip, but it had slipped out without a thought. I was feeling sassier than usual. Sassy, and still very aroused, my thighs slick with desire.

“I’m up for anything.” Nicholas winked, then turned on his heel and strolled into the dining room. His backside caught my attention and I stared at it until he turned the corner.

“Okay, then…” I turned back to the stove to gather my oven mitts and the pot with the simmering soup. In the dining room, I ladled our dinner into the deep bowls and watched Nicholas dig in without his usual reserve. Smiling, I sank into my chair and asked, “Isn’t it too hot to eat?”

“Not for me. You know, all of your cooking has been amazing and you’re right about how I behaved when you got here.” When his eyes met mine across the table, he said, “I’ve been an asshole from day one.”

After a few sips at the broth, I said, “You lost everything. It only makes sense that you put up walls to keep anyone else out, even far away from other people. Sometimes self-protection is all we have.”

“Yet you seem more…” He mulled over his thoughts as he ate a spoonful of vegetables, then continued. “More open than one might expect for someone who lost a person she loves. How did you keep from closing yourself off after losing your father?”

“I guess I managed because I still hoped for other things in my life, like love,” I said. “Maybe I also hoped he would eventually be found alive and safe. Azure dealt with her losses by becoming more hostile, sarcastic, but I believed where a door closed, a window would open.”

“Losses as in more than one? Your sister lost more than your father?”

“Oh, yes. She was deeply in love with a young man, but…” I shrugged and shook my head. “She won’t talk about it anymore. Anyway, maybe losing a lover in addition to losing my father would have hardened my heart as well. I hope I’ll never know that feeling.”

Nicholas reached out to squeeze my hand and my very much not-hard heart leapt at the contact. “You’re insightful about human nature. You knew exactly what I needed and focused on me instead of yourself. It’s hard to be so kind in the face of such an oppressive society.”

“At least you don’t have to worry about society here,” I said with a small smile.

“I don’t… but I do at the same time.” He waved in the general direction of the door. “All of this isolation can only go so far. Yes, it facilitates the walls I’ve built around my heart, but is that really a good thing? Before you came along, I was on the verge of being as cold and unforgiving as the tundra itself.”

“See? You’re not so shabby yourself when it comes to understanding human nature. So what changed since I arrived?” I leaned forward, perched at the edge of the chair.

“Music, color, warmth, love – all those things you brought with you. I’ve watched you day after day for weeks now, and trying not to care for you was futile.” His hand lifted from mine to caress my face. “You’re right about that window opening. With DeVille dead and his son destabilizing the Regime from within, we have a fighting chance. As long as you’re with me, I feel like I have something to fight for, and I’m a better leader and inspiration to the Constitutionals for it.”

I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. “You don’t have to take it all on alone. Just tell me what I can do to help.”

“You’ve already done enough. If you continue to be here for me, that’s all I could possibly want.”

“There’s going to be more work, though. This is only the beginning of toppling the Regime – just one step in the direction to where so many of us want to be.”

A mischievous smile tugged at his lips and he said, “Since you insist, there is something you can do for me. Finish your dinner and I’ll show you.”

“I meant serious work!” I tried to sound scandalized, but I couldn’t help but smile too. What was it about these feelings that made me throw refinement out the window?

“Oh, this is very serious work, Violet. I don’t think I can take it another night – sleeping alone in that cold bed. You’re going to help me warm it up.”

Never had I left dirty dishes behind after dinner and, despite the needy sensation pulsing through my groin, I wasn’t about to start now. We ate the warm soup, and then I cleared the table and washed the dishes. Nicholas paced and grumbled behind me, until he finally stood pressed against my back. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he said, “Are you finished yet?”

“Do you see this?” I held up a spoon, soapy water dripping down my arm. “This little fella is dirty and needs to get clean, so he can join his friends in the drawer. He'll get lonely without them.”

“Well,
this
fella wants to join you in doing the reverse of getting clean. I have some very dirty activities in mind for us both, preferably more than once tonight.” He nipped at the back of my neck. “
Now
, Violet.”

“Dishes,” I said, my voice less firm than before, my body faltering back into his.

“Do as I tell you and go upstairs,” he answered, running his hands down along my sides. “The dishes can wait. I can’t. Now, be my good little submissive, go upstairs, kneel beside the bed, and wait for me.”

The command sent a deliciously heated thrill through me. I set the spoon back in the soapy water, dried my hands on a plain brown towel, and obeyed his orders. As I knelt, I thought about how much he wanted me. There was such a sense of power in that knowledge and it shook me to my core.

Furthermore, I knew it was more than lust, more than slaking his need, more than infatuation. The tension of the past weeks – trying to live with and be of service to someone who didn't want me – had taken on a new form. We were no longer uneasy roommates. I was the person who had drawn him from his remote little world and given him hope.

When I got to the room, I smoothed my hair back from my face, knelt beside the bed, and then brushed my hands down the front of my dress. The floor was hard wood – not at all comfortable on my knees – and I wondered if he would mind if I placed a pillow between myself and the floor.

Another minute passed and then he entered the room, shut the door behind him, and looked down at me with a smile. “I’ve always wanted to try this,” he said. “It’s very different to have a woman kneeling before me, ready to serve me.”

“It’s what I was trained to do,” I answered.

“But is it what you want to do? When I asked my wife to do it, she did not like the idea, and I never pursued it.” His brow creased slightly and he added, “Not that her reaction and preferences matter at this point, but yours do.”

I canted my head to the side as I looked up at him, then nodded. “Yes, Nicholas, it is what I want to do. I was born to serve and I can think of no greater privilege than submitting to you.”

“Violet, you are not the privileged one.” He reached down and used the backs of his fingers to lift a stray curl up and off my face. “I am the privileged one, the recipient of this gift of submission that you are giving to me. You have every right to decide what to do with your body, your feelings, your own life, and you chose to accept me. At this point, I don’t know why you’re still here after the way I treated you, but I am grateful that you did not give up on me.”

“We got past that,” I said, and turned my head to kiss the fingertips that lingered at my cheek. “I think we are both ready to do this.”

“What I am ready to do,” he said, drawing his fingers down along my jaw and tilting my head up slightly, “is show you how much your compassion and love mean to me. Sit up on the bed.”

I did as he ordered, unfolding myself from the kneeling position to settle on the edge of the mattress. It was Nicholas who knelt before me now, reaching for my shoes and untying them with deft fingers. When he removed my shoes, followed immediately by my tights, he feathered kisses up the insides of both of my legs. I sighed and leaned back against the bed, but remained propped up on my elbows so I could watch him. His fingers hooked around the sides of my panties and he pulled them down until they slipped to my ankles. The kisses moved higher, until his head was nudging up my plaid skirt and his lips brushed over my sensitized flesh. The excitement of bringing Nicholas to orgasm earlier, to helping him break down that wall, had left me not just aroused, but sensitive.

I wanted to pull away, but his hands moved up along my thighs, then beneath my dress. Those strong fingers held me in place as his tongue delved inside me, easily coaxing me into sensual need once again. For a brief moment, I wondered if he could taste himself inside me. “Nicholas,” I said as my breath hitched and my fingers fluttered down to grasp at his hair.

“Shh,” he soothed against my entrance. Then his lips moved over my clitoris and he sucked at it gently. The constant sensation left me trembling on the brink of losing control. Nicholas must have sensed this, because he inserted one finger, then another in my wet pussy. It was like nothing I had ever felt before – being full and gently pistoned while someone lapped at my needy flesh. As the ecstasy threatened to crash over me, I tried to hold it back so I could enjoy it just a little longer. All sorts of possibilities flashed through my mind, like begging him to add another finger, to drill my hole with his tongue so I could ride it to pleasure. But there was no holding back, and I cried out as I bucked against him, drenching his fingers and tongue in my orgasmic dew.