Sway (22 page)

Chapter Forty-One

I escaped outside. The crowds were just as thick but the fresh air made it bearable. Stumbling down the stairs and almost tripping over a couple on the steps, I made it down to the beach. Lights twinkled from every window, along the paths, and down the stair railings. A bonfire roared on the beach but I avoided the crowd around it, heading instead to the edge of the water.

I took a few deep breaths and felt my heartbeat slow. It wasn’t until then that I realized how fast my heart had been pumping. Eric still had that effect on me. I closed my eyes, breathed in the salty air and tried to tune out the noise of the party.

“Ava?” A man walked toward me. At first I thought it was Eric, but I realized in seconds my mistake. He had on shorts and a button-down shirt, and was about a head shorter than Eric. Adam Harville.

“Hi, Adam,” I said when he reached me. “Where’s Britt?”

“She’s inside.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Great party. Love the fifties theme.”

I tried not to laugh. He hadn’t dressed in fifties clothes, and he looked the exact opposite of someone who was having a good time. “Thanks. It was my sister Beth’s idea.”

“Right, Beth. Yeah, we met her.” He made a face. “I saw Mari here too. Do you have any other siblings?”

“Nope, just them.”

“How’d you all end up so different?”

I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about our looks. “No idea.”

“Are you close?”

“Not really.” My skirt billowed around my legs in a sudden gust of wind and I pressed my hands to my thighs to keep from having a Marilyn Monroe moment. “Beth and I have never been close.” But things had gotten better lately. I liked that. “My relationship with Mari has always been more…” I trailed off, not knowing how to explain it.

“You take care of her?”

I nodded. “She was really young when my mom died. We all were I guess. But Mari…” Beth had Dad, I had Aunt Rose, Mari had no one. “It’s never really changed between us. Even now, sometimes I feel more like a mother to her than a sister.” Not that I could ever replace my mother. No one could.

Adam turned his head away from me and stared out at the black ocean. “Farrah and I were really close.”

I slipped my heels off and dug my toes into the sand while I waited for him to continue.

“We were only a year apart. When she died…” His voice caught. He looked down at the sand between our feet. “Sorry. Not exactly party chitchat.” His laugh was humorless.

“I’m not much for party chitchat anyway.”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I miss her.”

I nodded.

“Now, it’s like I can’t anymore.” His chest rose and fell with a long breath. “I mean, Sam’s moved on. Shouldn’t I?”

I put my hand on his arm. “She was your sister. You’ll always miss her. And Sam will too.” Dropping my hand, I looked away. “Grief isn’t something you can put rules on, or boundaries, or even a timeline. It’s individual. I don’t think anyone should ever feel bad for missing someone.”

“You’re right.” His shoulders hitched. “I guess I shouldn’t judge Sam then, for moving on so fast.”

That wasn’t what I meant but I didn’t say that. “It was pretty fast,” I agreed. “But then…”

“What?”

I pressed my lips together.

“You were going to say it’s because he’s a guy, weren’t you?”

A laugh escaped me even though I didn’t want it to. “You said it, not me.”

“I’ve known plenty of girls who are way worse than guys in that department.”

“I know. It isn’t just guys who are the heart-breakers, and it isn’t just girls who pine away eating ice cream and watching sad movies.” My shoes teetered on two fingers and I swung them a bit. “But I bet if you took a survey, you’d find that guys move on faster than girls do. In general.”

“Maybe.” He didn’t look convinced. “I can’t imagine ever getting over Britt, if something happened to her.”

“Maybe you’re an exception. But I hold up Sam as an example for my side.”

“In his defense, he was barely coherent for months after. And it’s been more than a year. It’s just the engagement that seems so sudden, not the moving on.”

My toe made a circle in the sand while I tried to think how to explain my point. “A man would hold out hope if he thought there was still a chance. I’ll give you that much. But when there’s no chance left, that’s when men give up faster.”

I stared at the black waves lapping on the sand and thought of Eric. “Women hold on, even when they shouldn’t. They don’t give up, even when all hope is gone.”

“We’re not talking about grief anymore, are we?”

No, we weren’t. A big wave hit the shore, forcing us back a little. Adam looked up.

“Eric.”

I turned. Eric was standing just a few feet away.

My cheeks heated. How much had he heard? A breeze blew the chiffon of my dress around my legs and I shivered. Britt trailed down the sand behind him, waving when she caught sight of Adam.

“Hey,” Britt said, snuggling up beside her husband. “Eric and I were looking for you.”

Adam put his arm around Britt and hugged her close. “We were talking about Farrah,” he said.

She raised herself up and planted a kiss on Adam’s mouth. I looked away. Eric shifted from foot to foot, he ran a hand through his hair, then shoved his hands in his suit pockets. He seemed more nervous and fidgety than I was, or maybe it was the sudden chill that had come in off the ocean.

“I came to say goodbye,” Eric said. Adam and Britt exchanged a glance.

“Oh.” I took a deep breath and the cold air clogged my throat. “Well, thanks for coming. I mean, I’m glad you came.” There was so much more I wanted to say, but I didn’t know how. Not here.

“Eric’s our ride, so I guess we’re going too.” Adam unwrapped his arm from Britt’s and took her hand instead.

“I’ll walk you to the door.” I led them across the sand to the house, my heels dangling from one hand. We wended through the crowds and the sudden reality of the party and the memory of what happened earlier struck me. The dance with Eric felt like a whole other night.

As we made our way to the front door, angry screaming echoed from somewhere upstairs.

“That sounds like Beth.” I didn’t wait to see if Eric, Adam, or Britt followed. I hurried through the guests gathering at the foot of the stairs, their faces all pointed upward.

At the top of the stairs and down the hall a ways stood Beth, visible to everyone below. She was staring at something no one else could see, her gloved hands clenching into fists.

“How could you do this to me?” she screamed. I hurried up the stairs. “After everything I did for you!”

“You don’t understand,” an unseen voice said.

“What, that you’ve been going behind my back for months?”

I reached the top step in time to see Shelby, her robe askew, cowering back from Beth’s rage. “I wanted to tell you.” Shelby’s face twisted. “He wouldn’t let me.”

“Shut up!” a man hissed. Gage emerged from Beth’s room, buttoning his shirt over his chest. He glared bloody murder at Shelby, who shrank even further into herself.

Beth pointed a slim finger at Gage. “
You
. Don’t speak.”

He shifted his glare to Beth and then his face froze when he saw me standing behind her.

“Ava.” He came toward me. I held up a hand, stopping him. “This isn’t what you think,” he said.

Beth burst into derisive laughter. “It’s
exactly
what you think.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I caught them. Together. In
my
bed.”

A collective gasp echoed from the crowd below.

“Now I need to burn the sheets,” she added in a half mutter.

“Ava, no.” Gage shook his head. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. I swear. I love you.”

I wanted to laugh at him, or vomit on him. Either one would do.

Beth spoke up for me. “Whatever. You and Shelby have been seeing each other all summer.”

“Did Shelby tell you that?” Gage yelled. “Because she’s lying.”

“Come on. How stupid do you think I am?” Beth turned to Shelby who whimpered. “You think I wouldn’t notice you sneaking around?”

Gage ignored them, his focus all on me. “Shelby’s been trying to seduce me. This whole time I’ve never given in to her because I love you. But tonight…” He dropped his head. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

I’d been frozen, unable to say a single thing during this whole spectacle. When Gage reached his hand out to touch my face, I stepped back, suddenly finding my voice.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Ava, please, just listen.”

“Don’t bother.” I shook my head. “It doesn’t even matter.”

Shelby’s gasp cut through the silence.

“We broke up. Nothing’s changed. So this—” I waved my hand toward Shelby, “—this doesn’t matter.”

“But let me explain…” I turned away but he reached out and grabbed my hand. “I know you’ll understand if you just let me explain.” He pressed my palm over his heart.

“How about I explain something to you?” I wrenched my hand from his grasp. My face heated with rising anger. “I don’t love you. I don’t even like you. Especially now that I know about Lexi.”

His eyes widened.

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out? Were you so stupid to think that my best friend wouldn’t tell me who you really are? Or were you so egotistical, you thought that even if I found out, I would love you anyway?” I wanted to laugh at him but I was far too angry for that. “Or maybe you were counting on the fact that even if Lexi did mention your name, I wouldn’t realize it was you. Because Lexi doesn’t know Gage Johnson, does she? Only Leonard.”

“Ew,” Beth said.

Gage backed away from me. He looked like the cornered, dirty, rat that he was.

“If you honestly think I would be with you after knowing what you’re really like, you are severely demented.” I turned to Shelby. “A word of advice? Run. Far away from this guy. He’s not good enough—not even for you.”

I stopped, my chest heaving, my cheeks flushed with anger. Below me, one of the party guests started to clap. The crowd gradually joined in. I was too embarrassed to look down.

Beth pointed to Gage. “Out. Now.” She turned to Shelby. “You too. Pack up and go.” She linked her arm through mine and we started down the stairs.

The clapping died out as we neared the crowd of party guests. All eyes were on us, the silence was uncomfortable. Beth stopped midway down. She leaned in to me. “Follow my lead,” she whispered.

“Do you remember that time you had the mumps?” she said, her voice pitched loud enough for everyone to hear. She raised an eyebrow and waited.

I had no clue what she was talking about. I’d never had the mumps. Beth looked at me and hissed, “
Pillow Talk
.”

I finally understood. My mind searched for the line, but I couldn’t recall. I widened my eyes at her.

Beth rescued me. “It wasn’t very pleasant, but you got over it.”

My mind clicked. “I look at Gage Johnson like any other disease. I’ve had him, it’s over, and now I’m immune to him.”

The few who knew that our words came from
Pillow Talk
began to clap and whistle in appreciation. The rest of the crowd followed suit. Beth draped the stole below her shoulders and made a small bow to her guests. The crowd hooted and she glowed with a self-indulgent aura. I laughed.

My laughter died as a man parted the crowd, a head of blond hair walking away, two others following behind.

Eric was leaving and I’d lost the chance to talk to him. Again.

Chapter Forty-Two

When the party wrapped up, Aunt Rose found me in my room in the company of a good book. My dress lay limp across the bed, looking like dead hopes and wasted dreams.

“Can I talk to you?” Aunt Rose asked. Without waiting for an answer, she took a seat on the edge of my bed. She toyed with the hem of the dress.

“I’m sorry,” she said and she looked it. Her shoulders sagged beneath the weight of her thoughts.

“You heard the whole thing, then?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I set my book aside with a sigh. “I didn’t know how, or if it was even necessary. I’d already broken up with him. I was hoping he’d leave us all alone. And I didn’t exactly want to bring it up at a party.”

“How long have you known?”

“Not long. Lexi told me after Eric’s concert. She saw Gage there with me.” My lips tightened. “I had no idea about Shelby though.”

“Obviously not. None of us did.” She put one hand on top of mine. “We were all taken in. Only you saw him for what he really was.”

Not really. I’d broken up with him because my feelings for Eric trumped anything between Gage and me. If it hadn’t been for that… I shuddered. “The truth is, I got lucky.”

Aunt Rose shot me a questioning look.

Why keep it to myself? Aunt Rose would disapprove but I wanted to get this conversation out of the way. I needed to show her that her disapproval didn’t matter to me anymore.

“Lucky because…I still have feelings for Eric. That’s why I broke up with Gage.” I held my breath, waiting for her reaction, her scolding, her disapproval.

She let out a loud sigh. Here it comes, I thought.

“I’m sorry about that too.”

No reprimand? No telling me who I should or shouldn’t date?

“I thought it was best at the time.” She looked into my face, her eyes pleaded with mine to forgive, or at least understand. “I was wrong to push you. I wanted so much for you, Ava. I still do.”

I bit my lip. Anger simmered beneath the surface but I kept it bottled in, kept my voice even. “So, now that Eric’s successful, it’s okay for me to like him?”

Pain flashed across her face before she made it botox-smooth again. “You know your own mind. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions.”

It only took her eight years to realize it.

“It’s obvious now that despite my age and wisdom, you are a much better judge of character than I ever was. Your mom would be proud of you.”

I looked down at the book in my lap. For once, I believed those words. “Thank you.”

She wrapped me in a hug. The feel of her arms around me, the familiar smell of her perfume, caused a lump to form in my throat. The tension that had stretched between us for the last eight years snapped. Maybe now we could start over.

Aunt Rose stood. “I can tell you one thing that brings a smile to my face.”

“What’s that?”

She stopped at the door and looked back. “I’ll never have to see Shelby Clay again.”

I wasn’t sad about that either.

* * * * *

When I entered the kitchen for lunch, Beth sat slumped over the kitchen table, a mug clutched in her hands.

I went to the fridge and pulled out a pre-made chef’s salad. “Hungover?”

“Ugh,” was all Beth got out.

“You see, it pays not to drink.” I sat at the table across from her with a fork and dug in. When she looked up at me in disgust, I grinned.

“Spare me, Miss High-and-Mighty,” she said, but her words lacked venom.

“Is Shelby gone?”

“I made sure of it.” Beth inhaled the steam wafting off her cup, and then took a sip.

“Do you think she and Gage…”

She sneered. “They deserve each other.” She hesitated, glancing at me. “But I don’t know. Who cares?”

I stared at her as I chewed. She looked awful. Purple bags under her eyes, wrinkles creased across her forehead, and smeared mascara she obviously hadn’t washed off last night.

“Did you like him?” I asked.

Her lips became a thin line. “Of course not. It’s not me I’m worried about.”

I grimaced around a bite of salad. “You mean Dad? You think he’s upset over Shelby?”

“I really hope not.”

I hadn’t even thought of how Dad might be feeling after last night’s revelations. Of course Beth had. She was often selfish, but not when it came to our father.

We found Dad on the balcony outside his bedroom, lounging on a cushy beach chair and doing absolutely nothing. Just staring at the ocean.

“Hi, girls,” he said, but the words sounded distant, like he was in the middle of a dream and didn’t really know we were there.

Beth and I exchanged glances. She took the lounger next to him and I stood off to the side, leaning against the balcony. I waited, letting her take charge.

“Dad,” she started. “How are you feeling today?”

Her words made him sound like an invalid, but he smiled at her. “Oh, I’m fine. Excellent party last night, Sweet Pea.”

She tried to smile. “Thanks.”

“People will be talking about that one for years,” he said. “You almost outdid your mother. But not quite.” He turned his face back to the ocean. “It’s too bad about Shelby, though. I suppose she’s gone?”

I looked at Beth to see my worry mirrored back at me.

“Yeah, she’s gone.” Beth scooted her chair closer to his and grabbed Dad’s hand.

He sighed. “I should have known.”

“I’m so sorry, Dad. I should never have brought her here.” She stroked his hand. “I thought she was my friend. I never thought she’d do that to you. To us.”

His eyebrows lowered. “What do you mean?”

Beth bit her lip. She looked to me for help.

I knelt down on the other side of his chair. “We’re sorry she hurt you. We don’t want to see you unhappy.”

“She didn’t hurt me.”

Beth blinked. “But I thought… Didn’t you…
like
her?”

“Of course I liked her. She seemed like a nice girl.” His eyes flicked between us again. “Wait. Did you two think that I—that I loved her?”

We were silent.

Dad burst out laughing. Actual tears welled in his eyes while Beth and I stared at each other, flabbergasted. “Unbelievable. You girls.” He shook his head in disbelief.

“You mean, you don’t have feelings for her?” I asked.

He dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief, careful not to pull the skin. “No. Definitely not.”

“But you just said…” I looked to Beth for help. What had he just said?

“I said it’s too bad.” He cupped Beth’s chin with his hand. “It’s too bad she was an awful friend to my daughter. I don’t care about her. It’s you I’m worried about.”

Beth visibly relaxed, but I wasn’t satisfied.

“Then why did you say that you should have known?”

He dropped his hand from Beth’s face, his expression turning sour. “I was talking about Leonard Johnson.”

My dad must have known his real name. I was surprised he never mentioned it. “Why?”

“Like father, like son, as they say.”

“What do you mean?” Beth asked.

“Leonard’s father, George, and I were very good friends. We were on the same show together.”

I bit my lip to keep my impatience from showing.

Dad looked out toward the ocean again, his eyes taking on a faraway look, like he’d entered dreamland again. “He tried to take your mother from me.”

“What?” Beth and I shouted at the same time.

“He always flirted with her but I didn’t think much of it—he flirted with everyone in a skirt.” His mouth tightened. “But then he went after your mother. He pursued her. At a party he tried to seduce her.”

“Ew.” Like father, like son, indeed.

“Your mother wouldn’t have it of course.” Dad’s chin lifted. “She loved me. We had three beautiful daughters together. Nothing could tear us apart. But George wouldn’t quit. He wouldn’t leave her alone. So I had him fired from the show.”

“Why’d you let Gage come around?” I asked.

His eyes went sad. “I couldn’t blame Gage for something his father did. Besides, he told me it was George’s deathbed wish for Leonard to make amends with the Elliot family.” He shook his head. “I believed him.”

My knees throbbed from kneeling so long. I stood and went to the railing. Had Gage told Dad the truth? Or was it just a ruse, a way to get into our family, to use Dad’s connections to get him ahead in his acting career?

But then, why date me? Maybe Gage’s apology had been the truth. Maybe he really had tried to make amends, to do what he thought his father wanted. Maybe he had been trying to be the better man with me.

Well, if that was the case, he’d failed miserably.

I turned back to my dad. “I’m glad you’re not upset about Shelby, anyway.”

“I could never love her. Or any woman for that matter,” he said. “Shelby was nice, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy her attention and compliments just a little bit.” He twisted his wedding band around his finger. “But I’ve only ever loved your mother. There will never be another woman for me. No one can compare. I will love her for the rest of my life.”

Tears welled in my eyes. My father and I were more alike than I ever would have thought.

I went to Dad, planting a kiss on his cheek. “You’re something else, Dad.”

It was a lame compliment, but by my dad’s expression, I could tell it meant something to him. “Thank you, Ava.” He patted my cheek. “I’m so glad you weren’t hurt by Gage. I would hate to see you sad.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks.” He turned to Beth and I took the opportunity to slip out, leaving them alone.

As I walked through the house, my good mood evaporated. Dad said he didn’t want to see me sad, but he hadn’t cared about my happiness eight years ago. If Eric came back into my life—I thrilled at the very thought—what would Dad say then?