Swansea Summer (7 page)

‘Depends on what you mean by sights.’ He stroked her breast lightly with the back of his finger.

‘You know what that does to me.’ She shivered from more than cold.

‘Yes.’ He took her bra from her. ‘And that’s why I’ll help you dress.’

‘Tired?’ She feigned innocence.

‘Making sure you don’t catch pneumonia. I want you fit and active.’ He watched as she pulled on her panties, hooked her suspender belt and rolled her stockings over her legs. ‘Pretty underwear,’ he commented as she shook out her layered petticoat.

‘I hoped you’d like it.’

‘I do.’ As soon as she had fastened her skirt and blouse, he opened the door and peeped out cautiously. ‘See you in a few minutes.’

‘I’m missing you already.’

‘Katie, I told you not to come in.’ John left his desk and walked into the outer office as she opened the door.

She dropped her gloves and handbag on to her desk. ‘I’m here with Judy and Lily. They’re buying up the warehouse.’

‘That’s good news for our cash flow.’

She glanced into her in-tray as she sat behind her desk. It was empty, just as she’d left it on Friday night. ‘Did the meeting go well?’

‘I think so. I’ve bought in some new lines of furniture; they’ll be delivered next week but the paperwork can wait until Monday.’ He sat on the edge of her desk. ‘I’m glad you called. I want to talk to you.’

‘And I want to talk to you.’ She reached for his hand. ‘I’m sorry if I interrupted something between you and Mrs Griffiths earlier …’

‘Please, Katie.’ He removed her hand and left the desk. Sitting in the visitor’s chair, he tried to look anywhere but at her face, pale, concerned – and beautiful. ‘Esme knows about us.’

‘Knows …’ She stared at him in bewilderment. ‘How can she? We’ve been so careful …’

He hunched forward in his chair. ‘Obviously not careful enough.’

‘But it doesn’t change anything between us. She would have had to know eventually …’ She fell silent as she looked into his eyes. ‘John …’

‘Katie, you know I love you.’

‘And I love you,’ she broke in earnestly.

‘You don’t know Esme. How vicious she can be. She’ll start gossip that will wreck your life.’

‘I don’t care. My life is nothing without you.’

‘It isn’t only us though, is it, love? There’s Jack and Helen, Joe and Martin …’

‘When you told Martin you wanted to marry me as soon as you were free, he understood and respected my choice, as I’m sure the others will, once they realise how much we mean to one another.’

‘Martin didn’t understand, Katie, he only said he would try. He was shocked, just as everyone else will be. Seeing Jack with Helen today – the way things should be for a girl of your age – made me realise how unfair I’m being in asking you to wait until my divorce is finalised.’

‘Unfair? I don’t understand.’ Her eyes widened. ‘Is the divorce going to take longer than you expected? Is that it, because if it is, I don’t care how long we have to wait as long as we’ll be together eventually.’

‘Please, let me finish. I watched you with the others today. Helen and Jack, Brian and Judy, Martin and Lily, that’s the way love should be. Between young people. I’m thirty-eight, crippled and soon to become a grandfather …’

‘We’ve talked about that before, John. You know none of it matters, not to me.’

‘But it does to me,’ he said. ‘You’re eighteen. You should be going out with your friends, enjoying life, not waiting for a man more than twice your age to divorce his wife.’

‘But I do go out with my friends. I’m going down the Pier with Lily and Judy tonight.’

‘And young men will be chasing you.’ He tried – and failed – to keep his voice light.

‘No one will chase me because I won’t let them, but I’ll dance with some of the boys if they ask me. You know my nights out with Lily don’t mean anything. But if you prefer me not to go …’

‘I’m trying to tell you that you should go. And at the end of the evening you should walk home with one of those young boys, not come back alone thinking of an old fogey like me.’

‘And if I want to come back alone, thinking of you?’

‘It’s not right, Katie. I feel as though I’m robbing you of your youth.’

‘Don’t you understand, I love
you,’
she stressed. ‘You’re everything to me …’

‘And you to me.’

‘How can you say you love me and talk like this? I want to be with you …’

‘But you can’t, not until the divorce is finalised and I’m free, and perhaps not even then. The gossips …’

‘Let them tittle-tattle,’ she said dismissively. ‘My mother used to say they can’t hurt you if you don’t listen to them and she was right.’

John wondered what had made Esme suspicious. As Katie said, they had been careful. He also knew that her disregard of gossip was sincere. Her father’s brutality towards his family had been a talking point in Swansea for years, and she had been taught from an early age to ignore what people said about her and her family, and she did just that. But he couldn’t bear the thought of Esme saying things about the girl he loved more than any other person in the world; horrible, evil things that would blacken her character and cheapen a relationship that was everything to him. He could almost hear Esme whispering the words ‘Gold-digging little tramp’, ‘Dirty old man’ and he couldn’t take that – not for himself, Joe, Helen – and especially Katie. He steeled himself.

‘I won’t have your name brought up in the divorce court. You’ve no idea how awful that would be.’

‘I wouldn’t care.’

‘I want you to be free.’

‘But I am free,’ she insisted. ‘Free to make up my own mind.’

‘Not while we stay behind here a couple of evenings a week.’

Her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘You don’t want to make love to me any more.’

Concerned she’d read something in his eyes that he didn’t want her to see, John left the chair and went to the window. An image came to mind of Katie and Sam, as they had been earlier, bending their heads so they almost touched, laughing together over the ridiculous plastic spider. He took a deep breath and forced himself to face her. ‘I’ve been selfish but I can’t go on feeling as though I’m stealing your youth. I want you to live your own life and grasp every opportunity that comes your way without having to think about me.’

‘And if I don’t agree?’

‘This is the last time I’ll see you – privately. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you but I simply can’t go on using you.’

‘Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?’ She gazed intently at him.

‘No.’

‘Is this for ever’ – even her voice trembled – ‘or only until your divorce?’

‘Who knows how you’ll feel by then.’

‘I know and nothing will have changed for me. I’ll still love you.’

‘We’ll talk again then.’

‘And in the meantime?’

‘We’ll see one another here.’

‘But not like this.’

‘Not alone like this, no, Katie. It wouldn’t be fair on you.’ He continued to face her. It would have been easier if she’d argued, ranted and raved, anything except stared at him through wounded, anguished eyes. ‘But nothing will change here. I meant it when I said you’re the best secretary I’ve ever had. We’ll carry on working together. You will be here on Monday morning?’ he asked, concerned by her silence.

‘The girls will be waiting.’

‘Katie …’

‘I wish you’d change your mind.’

‘I won’t.’

She looked at him for a moment, then ran from the office.

Chapter Four

Ten minutes after Katie left the office John walked out on to the staircase that connected the warehouse floors. He looked down and saw her standing outside the changing cubicles with Lily and Judy. Lily was wearing one of the dresses from the new spring range. Smiling, she flicked through the dresses Judy had chosen to try on as she chatted to Katie who had her back turned to him. He didn’t need to see Katie’s face to know she was miserable. He could sense the depth of her distress from the way her shoulders were hunched and it devastated him to know that he had caused it, but he had to free her so she would be safe from Esme’s malicious tongue – and him. A beautiful young girl like her had no business being tied to an ugly cripple, twenty years older than her.

Katie believed she loved him, but common sense told him it was only because he’d been the first man to show her kindness, and he bitterly regretted allowing that kindness and her gratitude to lead to anything more. He should have remembered her vulnerability and the years between them. But there was no turning the clock back and undoing what had been done.

Katie might be unhappy now but she would soon forget him once she spent more time in the company of young, good-looking boys like Sam Davies. And Lily and Martin would see to it that she did. Better it should happen now, before she tied herself to him permanently. Because he wouldn’t be able to bear seeing the same contempt for him on her face that Esme had shown him earlier. It was simply his bad luck that he had fallen as deeply in love with her as he had.

‘I am not going in there.’ Adam stood his ground on the pavement outside the White Rose.

‘You’ll disappoint your lady love.’ Brian managed to keep a straight face, unlike Martin and Sam who both developed a sudden and avid interest in an office window across the road.

‘I could thump the lot of you.’

‘Why?’ Brian asked innocently. ‘We didn’t tell you to make a pass at Lifebuoy Lettie.’

‘You didn’t stop me, either.’

‘Come on, Adam, just one pint,’ Martin coaxed, deciding the joke had gone far enough and the sooner they all sat down in a quiet corner of the pub, the sooner they could tell him the truth.

Turning on his heel, Adam strode up the road.

‘Adam!’ Martin shouted loud enough for everyone in Walter Road to hear, but Adam kept walking. ‘We should go after him.’

‘We won’t manage a drink if we do,’ Sam advised. ‘It’ll be stop tap in a quarter of an hour.’

‘Let him stew until tonight, we’ll tell him then.’ Oiled by the four pints he had downed in the Mackworth, Brian beamed at them and the world in general.

‘We’ll
tell him?’ Martin queried.

‘You two are chicken.’

‘We have to live with him afterwards. You, on the other hand, are leaving for London tomorrow,’ Sam opened the door of the pub.

‘It’ll cost you,’ Brian cautioned.

‘What?’

‘A round of drinks.’ Brian laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder. ‘And I’ll have a packet of crisps as well. All this beer has given me the munchies.’

‘You’re very quiet, Katie,’ Judy commented, as they walked home from the warehouse.

‘Just tired,’ Katie lied.

‘Hard work, seeing a brother married.’ Judy waved to Brian, Martin and Sam as they rounded the corner of Carlton Terrace.

‘Someone’s bought up half of Griffiths’ warehouse.’ Brian swayed as he noted the number of carrier bags emblazoned with the warehouse logo the girls were carrying.

‘Shopping’s more productive than propping up the bar of the Rose.’ Judy had noticed the high spots of colour in Brian’s cheeks and knew what they meant.

‘We had a quick one after the wedding.’

‘I’m surprised you had room for it after what you downed in the Mackworth.’ She looked around. ‘And you managed to lose Adam. Or is he collapsed in a drunken heap somewhere?’

‘He didn’t want join us,’ Brian prevaricated.

‘He looked like death warmed up at the reception. What did you do to him?’ Judy persisted.

‘Me, nothing.’ Brian turned an innocent face to hers.

‘Tea, everyone,’ Martin offered, hoping to stave off a full-blown argument between Judy and Brian.

‘Please,’ Lily accepted. ‘That way I’ll be able to sneak up the basement stairs and avoid Mrs Lannon. Whenever I bring a bag in through the front door she thinks it’s her duty to inspect the contents.’

‘Your uncle’s housekeeper is a dear old thing.’ Sam pulled his keys from his trouser pocket.

‘Not when you have to live with her.’ Whichever part of the house Lily was in, even the basement the boys rented from her uncle, she suspected Mrs Lannon of crouching behind the door and eavesdropping on her conversations. Not only because the housekeeper was always hovering close by whenever she left a room, but also because the woman seemed to have an exhaustive knowledge of how she spent every minute of her free time.

‘I can’t stay.’ Judy took a bag from Katie that she’d carried for her. ‘I promised my mother I’d go through the clothes I left in my room when I went up to London.’

‘Do it tomorrow,’ Brian suggested.

‘When? I’d like a lie-in and we’re catching the two-thirty train. You’ll be round for tea at five.’

‘Not five minutes to.’

Accustomed to Brian’s sense of humour, Judy didn’t smile. ‘Arrive when you like but you’ll be on the doorstep until five.’

‘You know how to keep a man in his place,’ Sam quipped.

Ignoring Sam, Brian leaned forward and kissed Judy’s cheek before following the others down the steps and into the basement. Martin had already set the kettle on to boil and Sam produced a box of biscuits. Lily stacked her bags in the passage ready to take them upstairs and Katie, who liked to make herself useful every time she visited her brothers, pulled out the mending basket.

‘So, we all going to the Pier tonight?’ Helping himself to a biscuit, Brian sat next to Lily.

‘Where else?’ she asked.

‘Can I have a dance, or do you save them all for Martin now?’

Lily glanced at Martin, who averted his eyes. ‘Martin and I are just friends, Brian.’

‘So were Jack and Helen. It’s weird to think they’re married. I wonder who’ll be next.’

‘Not you and Judy if your arguments are anything to go by.’ Sam retrieved the biscuit box from Brian and passed it round.

‘That’s all you know. The best marriages are the lively ones,’ Brian pronounced decisively.

‘I’d say fierce was a more suitable word than lively to describe Judy’s attitude towards you.’

‘That’s because you don’t understand women. They only insult men they are crazy about.’ Brian looked at Katie. ‘You’re quiet.’

‘It’s been a long day.’ She kept her head down as she concentrated on weaving strands of wool over the mushroom she’d placed under a hole in the heel of one of Martin’s socks.

‘But you are going to the Pier tonight.’

‘I’m not sure.’

‘Come on, Katie,’ Lily cajoled. ‘We can have a lie-in tomorrow. You can catch up on your sleep then.’

‘Besides, I need someone to teach me to dance.’ Sam stretched his long legs in Katie’s direction and drummed his heels on the floor.

‘I don’t know how.’

‘You can’t fool me. I saw you jiving with Jack’s friend from the building site last Saturday night. Say you’ll come. Please, for me.’ Sam bent his head, peering up at her with such a peculiar, pleading expression that Katie smiled despite the pain that gnawed inside her.

‘I’ll think about it,’ she hedged.

‘You’ll feel more like going out after we’ve put our feet up for an hour.’ Lily kicked off her new shoes and wriggled her toes. She hadn’t realised how much they pinched until she’d taken them off.

‘All I’ve done today is keep Jack calm, hand over a ring and make a speech, but I feel as though I’ve climbed Mount Everest twice over.’ Martin poured the tea.

‘Weddings take it out of you.’

‘You sound as though you’ve had a dozen, Brian.’

‘My family’s pretty big. I’ve been to plenty and they’re all the same after the bride and groom leave for the honeymoon. Flat.’

‘Perhaps it’s envy.’ Lily blushed as Brian and Sam burst out laughing. ‘I mean Jack and Helen going to London,’ she amended hastily, as she realised how her comment could be misconstrued. ‘Seeing the sights, going to theatres, eating in restaurants …’

‘Lucky them, two whole weeks with nothing to do but have fun,’ Brian moaned.

‘You live in London.’ Martin pulled up a chair and joined them at the table.

‘I saw more sights on one weekend leave when I was doing National Service than in the month I’ve lived there.’

‘And whose fault is that?’ Martin asked.

‘You try working shifts and see how much time it leaves you during normal opening hours. And even when I get an afternoon or evening off, Judy’s usually working and it’s no fun seeing sights by yourself.’

‘She said she was fed up,’ Lily concurred.

‘She did?’ The biscuit Brian had been dunking in his tea dissolved, bloating out on the surface like a mushroom.

Too late Lily remembered Judy’s warning that she hadn’t told Brian how she felt about living in London. ‘It was only something she mentioned in passing.’

‘Exactly what did she say?’ Brian’s voice was soft – ominously so.

‘What you just said, that she works long hours and most afternoons and evenings.’ The more Lily attempted to cover her embarrassment, the more she sensed she was arousing Brian’s suspicions but the words kept tumbling out. ‘That because she’s the most junior person in the make-up department she gets the blame for everything that goes wrong and none of the praise …’

‘She hasn’t said a word to me,’ Brian interrupted testily.

‘Perhaps she didn’t think it was important. You’ve only been there a month, hardly had time to settle in.’

‘That makes sense,’ Martin came to Lily’s rescue.

‘I suppose so.’

Something in Brian’s tone told Lily he wasn’t convinced. Looking for an excuse to leave, she finished her tea and carried her cup to the sink. ‘I’d better hang my new clothes away before they crease.’

‘Pick you up at half past seven.’ Martin helped her gather her bags.

‘I’ll be ready.’ Lily looked to Katie. ‘You coming?’

‘After I’ve finished the mending.’

‘You don’t have to do it today of all days,’ Martin chided.

‘I may as well. I’ve nothing better to do.’

Martin looked at Lily. They both knew something had upset Katie. But neither of them could think what.

Brian went up to the attic bedroom that Roy had generously insisted he occupy for the weekend because Sam had rented his old room in the basement. Taking a clean shirt, he washed and changed in the bathroom but no matter how he tried to concentrate on other things, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Lily had said. The more he considered it, the more he realised Judy had been distant the last couple of times he’d taken her out in London. She had also been sharper with him since they had travelled down together on Friday night but he’d made allowances for her apparent hostility, putting her edginess down to the strain of returning home for the first time since moving away.

After giving his shoes a quick brush, he ran down the stairs, out through the front door and along the street to Judy’s house. It was ten minutes to five, but she opened the door at his first knock.

‘I’m early.’

‘I’ll forgive you,’ She ushered him into the hall. ‘Tea’s ready.’

‘And in the parlour.’ He glanced round the door to see a white damask cloth on her mother’s best rosewood table and two plates of sandwiches and one of cakes. ‘To what do I owe the honour?’

‘You are a guest.’

‘I was hoping I was closer than that.’ He walked into the room and saw a pile of estate-agents’ brochures on one of the chairs.

‘Excuse the mess.’ Judy picked them up and was about to push them under a cushion when he took them from her.

He flicked through them – they all detailed commercial premises. ‘Your mother is moving the salon?’

‘Thinking of opening another one.’

‘Business must be good.’

‘It is,’ she answered abruptly, retrieving the brochures. ‘Sit down. I’ll make the tea. And in case you’re wondering, this isn’t all we’re having. I made a trifle specially last night.’

Unimpressed by the promise of trifle, he remained on his feet. ‘Who’s going to run the second business for her, Judy?’

Unable to meet his penetrating gaze, Judy picked up the teapot from the table. ‘She’ll oversee both salons.’

‘There’s no way one hairdresser can run two salons. Who is going to run the second business?’ The question hung unanswered between them for an eternity before he broke the silence. ‘You’re coming back to Swansea, aren’t you?’

‘Nothing’s been decided.’ She replaced the teapot on the table and sank down on a chair.

‘You appear to have discussed your plans with everyone except me.’

‘Just because there are a few estate agents’ brochures …’

‘It’s not just the brochures,’ he interrupted angrily. ‘Lily let slip that you weren’t happy in London.’

‘She had no right …’

‘She didn’t do it deliberately,’ he countered, refusing to get sidetracked into an argument about Lily. ‘She probably assumed that as I was your boyfriend you’d talked about it to me.’ He looked at her hard for a full minute. ‘For pity’s sake, Judy, I thought we had something going for us. When I asked you to marry me and you refused because you needed more time, I agreed. Going to London was your idea not mine. It was me who followed you up there, not the other way round. And now I discover that you couldn’t even bring yourself to tell me that you’re miserable up there and making plans to come back!’

‘I told you I don’t like the job, I hardly ever see you …’

‘There’s a world of difference between saying you’re unhappy at work and making full-blown plans to return to your mother’s apron strings.’

‘That’s unfair.’ Unable to meet his penetrating gaze, she stared down at the carpet.

‘Is it?’

‘I told you, nothing’s been decided.’

‘Of course not.’ He hit the brochures in her hand. ‘That’s why your mother went to all the trouble of getting these.’

‘She’s only looking.’