Susan's Summer (16 page)

Before either of us could say anything, Cressa had melted away into the crowd. Mae, who was small but no pushover, shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “That was strange.” I agreed with her; a dire warning coming from a woman who was supposed to spend the rest of her life there couldn’t be a good thing. And since it was my second warning of the day, it was dawning on me that I had to do something about it.

We couldn’t talk about it right then, though. With all the Fairies swirling around us, someone was bound to hear. It wouldn’t have surprised me if we were already being listened in on.

“Are you enjoying yourselves?” I had forgotten about the smarmy Rout, who now appeared at my elbow, standing a little too close for comfort.

“Yes, of course,” I said, taking another look around the room. There was no sign of Seth or Katie. I had a vague worry that they would just leave us there to rot, but when I thought of Seth turning on the small kitchen light when I was afraid of the dark and Katie’s determination to make friends, I knew they wouldn’t. Still, as far as I was concerned Teegan couldn’t return with drinks fast enough. Since there was no sign of him either, I sighed and I resigned myself to talking to Rout.

“We have parties like this all the time,” he boasted. “I don’t know where my wife has gotten to.”

“Maybe she was tired,” said Mae. Cressa hadn’t looked very good, and her warning only reinforced the idea that she was upset about something.

“Yes,” Rout agreed. “That’s entirely possible.” He paused as if waiting for agreement, and when he didn’t get it he asked, “How are you doing after young Mr. Roth’s death?” he asked. There was no inflection in his voice, no sign that he knew how upset I was about it.

“I’m fine,” I said, refusing to bow to the pressure of the Winter Fairies and show my anguish.

“That’s good,” he said, smacking his lips together. “It was a shame to destroy a life of such promise as his was, especially over a human girl.”

“She wasn’t human anymore,” Mae started to say, but I stopped her with a look. Rout didn’t need to know that Holt and Autumn had planned to marry. He would probably just tell everyone, and I didn’t want the Roths to appear any weaker than they already did.

“I understand that you’ve been upset since then,” Rout continued, “as has Mrs. Roth. And that young Logan, now the future Summer King, has disappeared?”

Wow, he just kept landing blows.

“Of course I was sad,” I said. “He was family. Mrs. Roth also has a right to be upset. He was her eldest son and she loves all her children dearly.” I knew Rout was trying to goad me into saying something stupid, and I was trying to avoid it, but I was getting angrier and angrier and it was hard. I tried to stay on neutral ground and said, “And as for Logan, he’s still young. He has a lot to learn, but I’m sure with every fiber of my being that he will make a great king.”

Rout smiled. He knew he had offended me and he didn’t feel bad about it at all. He was fishing for information, but I wasn’t sure why except that it seemed to go beyond the curiosity everyone else obviously felt.

“Logan will need a wife,” Rout continued. “Does he have any prospects?”

Now that was unexpected. Logan liked to date, a lot, but he had never been serious about anyone. In fact, he had pretty much been the opposite of serious about everything since Holt had been buried. The Ceremony of Vines had been the hardest thing for him. I was pretty sure he hadn’t really believed it was all real until we had Holt back in the earth, so that the roots, the things we love most, could take care of him.

Rout wasn’t deterred by getting no answer to his question about Logan. “How long do you plan to stay with the Arsenals?” he continued.

“We haven’t decided,” I said.

Rout was just full of questions, and I knew he would keep asking them until I did something to put a stop to it. But before I could make it clear that I didn’t appreciate the third degree, Teegan mercifully reappeared. He beamed when he saw me and I felt my heart lighten. It was good to be smiled at like that. Under the influence of Rout’s rudeness the room had started to feel cold and suffocating again, despite Seth’s wrap firmly in place around my shoulders. It was odd to be surrounded by strangers, all of whom wanted to know something about you and none of whom had your best interest at heart. At least that’s how I felt. Teegan’s return reminded me that I had at least one friend here.

“I might not have been ready for tonight after all,” I murmured to Mae. She looked at me sympathetically, but there wasn’t much she could say at this point.

“Teegan,” Rout greeted him. I was glad to see that neither of the two men looked especially thrilled to see the other.

“Your drink.” Teegan offered me a glass of white wine and I took it gratefully. I hadn’t had a drink since the night at the bar, and I was surprised at how much I didn’t miss it. But tonight I needed a bit of support, and if it came in the form of alcohol, so be it.

“Thank you,” I said, and reached out my hand to take the wine. As Teegan handed it to me my fingertips brushed his and I felt a rush dart through me. His eyes darkened several shades and grew hot, telling me that he felt the same thing. It was just my luck that I would meet two guys in the span of a couple of days who both made my knees weak, only further complicated by the fact that Teegan might be my betrothed.

“I should get going,” said Rout. “My wife will be looking for me.”

He wandered off. Teegan watched him until he was no longer within earshot.

“Sorry it took so long,” he said. “I got caught up.” I figured that must mean he got caught up with questions about me, but I didn’t say as much, and he didn’t elaborate.

A guy with spiked brown hair, tall and thin with long hands, came up to Mae. He moved fast, like he was in a rush.

“Want to dance?” he asked, breathless. A grin lit his face. Unlike Mae and me, he didn’t look the least bit cold. Come to think of it, neither did Teegan. I wondered if Teegan had intentionally gotten the guy to come over and hang out with Mae. “I need to ask you before someone else takes his chance and swipes you.”

Mae grinned. She loved being flattered as much as the next girl. She also loved to flirt.

“I’m sure that wouldn’t happen,” she demurred, turning her face into a pretty pout. She did that so easily, as if she wasn’t even thinking about it, that it made me wish I could be that smooth. Then again, given the way Teegan hadn’t taken his eyes off me, maybe I was better at it than I thought.

Examining Teegan more closely, I wondered if it would be bad to be married to someone that hot if I didn’t want a serious emotional attachment. I smiled at him and thought: Probably not. Since I wasn’t capable of emotional attachments at this point, I might as well have eye candy!

Teegan, for his part, was openly beaming at me. “Do you want to dance?” he asked, offering his hand. He had been attentive all night, and it looked like if Mae was going to get a dance partner, so was I.

We set our glasses down and I let him lead me onto the dance floor. It was a slow song, and I realized right away that I hadn’t thought carefully enough about the implications of dancing with him. He was a good dancer, and having my hips, chest, and lips only inches from his was almost more temptation than I could stand.

Twirling me around he said, “Seth and Katie are doing pretty well.”

I craned my neck around to where he was looking. Seth was standing in the center of a group of Marchell women, all vying for his attention. Instantly my hackles were raised. One girl, a particularly large-breasted blond, reached out and touched his arm and giggled. When Seth smiled at her, I wanted to march right over there and take his hand.

“Sorry about tonight,” Teegan said. “This wasn’t the best way to introduce you to Marchell. Rout can be difficult.” He looked genuinely worried that I was upset.

I glanced at him. Teegan seemed sincere, and I just didn’t believe he would have intentionally invited me here only to throw me under the bus, but Terry was a different story. It wouldn’t have surprised me to learn that once she found out we were coming she did everything she could to make sure we were miserable.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I wasn’t expecting everyone to be friendly and kind.” This wasn’t strictly true; I certainly hadn’t expected the open challenge of the ice ghosts or the all-but-open hostility of the incessant questioning. But I didn’t want to hurt Teegan’s feelings by saying so, since I was pretty sure that “friendly and kind” was his habitual mode.

“They’re just curious about you . . . and the Roths,” he offered. “No one wants to hurt you or anything like that.” I wasn’t sure that was true, but I
was
sure that Teegan believed it.

I thought back to the tree falling. Seth still had to look at it, but I was certain he’d discover what I already knew: that it had been cut intentionally. Still, that didn’t necessarily mean that it had been cut so that it would come crashing down on my head and kill me. That was just stupid paranoia, wasn’t it? I tried to put the whole topic out of my mind for the moment.

What wasn’t stupid was the hostility I felt every time I looked around the room, and what was interesting was that the animosity was not directed at Mae and me, the outsiders, but at the Arsenals. Maybe if I could get Teegan alone I could ask him what was going on, but fairy politics had never been an interest of mine and I wasn’t sure I wanted it to become one now. Sometimes it was better to know as little as possible.

“You’re tired?” Teegan asked. He framed it as a question, but he could see in my face that it was true. I nodded.

“Let’s tell Seth,” he said, stopping the dance. It was incredibly thoughtful of him and I paused to search his face. He smiled at me, but there was hurt in his eyes. I hadn’t wanted to cause him pain, but it felt like I would do that no matter what. I couldn’t ever outrun my past.

After that night, my life at Arsenal took on a familiar pattern, at least for a while. The summer there was quiet and peaceful. I avoided the Marchells and made sure not to go too far out into the Arsenals’ garden. I had a feeling there was something bad on the edge of the property—that scorched earth spoke volumes—but I didn’t want to get into the middle of a fight between the courts; I had enough problems already. I messaged back and forth with Autumn, contacted a couple of my parents’ old friends to see if they knew Teegan or his family, and spent time with Mae and Katie.

I didn’t exactly avoid being alone with Seth, but I did make it difficult. On a number of occasions he tried to get me alone, but each time I managed to find a way to include Katie or Mae, without—I hoped—seeming too obvious about it. Once the four of us were watching a movie and Katie went out of the room to get a glass of water. Mae was busy texting her Marchell boy, and when Seth asked me if I wanted to go out to the garden I spilled water on myself. I think most of it was out of panic, but a little of it might have been intentional, a surefire way to deflect Seth’s suggestion. Okay, so I was more effective than smooth, but still, I hadn’t been alone with him in two weeks.

I saw Teegan a couple of times. Each time I asked him if he had talked to his mom, but he hadn’t. He said he had tried once, but she had launched into a digression about the boyfriend his sister used to have. The only problem was that his sister was seven during the time his mother was talking about, and she hadn’t quite gotten around to dating—unless you count chasing the boy you like around on the playground until you knock him down and pummel him, which passed for a seven-year-old’s idea of a crush, I guess.

I managed to not be alone with Seth until the night of the next storm.
A couple of weeks had passed and I had given up asking when my car would be fixed. Seth either couldn’t fix it, or more likely had no intention of fixing it. I accepted that I was spending the summer at Arsenal so meekly in part because, to put it mildly, I was under the spell of the place and its beauty. Since Mae and I had decided to stay, we had started comparing the hilarious messages we got from other Fairies who were jealous of our good luck.

One Summer Fairy intent on finding her very own Prince sent me a text that simply said, “I hate you.” I wanted to tell her that she could have Seth if she wanted him, but something, I have no idea what, held me back.

On this particular night I was in the kitchen, busy making hot chocolate again and trying—again—not to freak out about a nighttime storm, when Seth came in. Again. This time he wore shorts and a t-shirt, as if he hadn’t yet gone to sleep. His hair was messy, almost in his eyes, and I had the unexpected urge to run my fingers through it.

I swayed a little. I was tired, but it was also hard to be around Seth. The closer my body was to his, the more I felt a pull I couldn’t ignore. He was incredibly good looking, but I didn’t find all good looking guys so attractive; there was more too it than that. It was that he was strong and yet vulnerable. He appeared not to care, but then left lavender on my pillow. And there was the way his eyes lit up when he looked at me. . . .

Damnit, why couldn’t I just remember that my parents betrothed me to someone and he didn’t have a Rose?

I knew my attraction was crazy. With Samuel off the market and Logan . . . well, whatever Logan was, Seth Arsenal was the most eligible fairy bachelor around. Even if no one could explain his family, except maybe him, being the Arsenal heir was good enough for anyone.

I had heard of him for years, but I had only known him for a couple of weeks. Then again, I wasn’t going to argue with the attraction I felt. Maybe two people could be best friends for years and then become more. Sometimes a guy sees a girl across a crowded room and realizes he wants that one. Any number of things could happen. It wasn’t like we’d have to get married if I just indulged my attraction a little, was it? That way I wouldn’t get hurt, but I would have distracted myself from everything else that had gone wrong in my life.

“Are you all right?” Seth asked, his voice soft, his eyes deep blue pools of warmth.

So much for my campaign to avoid being alone with him.

Epic fail, Susan. Epic fail.

I blushed and looked down. In my embarrassment it wasn’t hard to take my eyes off his face, but then they just fixed themselves on his shoes, so that I was watching when his right foot stepped forward and his left foot followed, and then they repeated the motion. I knew the instant he was standing directly in front of me and I saw his hands reach out on either side of my vision to lift the blanket I had wrapped around my shoulders and fix it more firmly in place. He moved slowly, and the sides of his hands, those warm hands that had already saved me more than once, brushed against my bare shoulders. The skin on skin contact was almost more than I could stand.

“Haven’t had a chance to talk to you recently,” he said, his voice husky.

I looked up at him through my lashes. He smiled down at me. Well, duh he hadn’t talked to me; I hadn’t let him. But now there was no place for me to go.

“Hm?” he asked, his voice a pleasant hum. Through the V-neck in his shirt I saw his chest vibrate a little, and it took an effort not to step forward and press my lips there. I imagined his skin as salty and slightly warm.

Part of my confusion stemmed from my assumption, all these past months, that I could never find anyone with whom I could have something like this given how damaged I was by my past. But with Seth I didn’t feel damaged. I felt whole, as if my problems and his problems could be solved if we solved them together.

Bold thoughts for someone who didn’t even know what Seth’s problems were.

“Hm?” I asked. I would have been happy to just keep staring at his chest while he talked: smooth tanned skin, very kissable.

“I asked if you were all right,” he said, amused. He hadn’t moved away. I knew he could tell the effect he had on me, and I wondered if I had the same on him. If it was one tenth as strong, then I knew he wouldn’t pull away from me. “I tried to kiss you and you said no.”

A crack of thunder made me jump. Unfortunately, with Seth standing so close I jumped into him. His arms tightened around me and I instantly felt safe—and breathless.

“I’m fine,” I said, my blush deepening. I looked up into his eyes, but that was a mistake. I saw an unfathomable depth of feeling there, not only the same thing I was feeling, but wariness and worry as well. He had come out and said it. I had stopped him, even though I wanted him to kiss me.

“Susan,” he breathed, the heat in his voice making me shiver agreeably.

“Seth,” I said. I was proud of myself to have gotten his name out, even if it was more like squeaking than speaking.

Everything else in my world was forgotten. The pain and trouble of the last few months, my uncertainty about the future, even my determination to find my parents’ choice for me no matter what—all of it disappeared. Seth lifted his right hand off of my shoulder and pressed it to my cheek, gently, with the lightest touch imaginable; he trailed his fingers down my cheek and to my exposed collarbone. I couldn’t help it; I moaned a little as his hand moved from the top of my collarbone, along its length, and down to the middle of my chest, right below my neck. I was afraid to breathe in case it disturbed his touch.

Then he pressed his lips to mine.

It was a careful kiss, like he was afraid I would pull away. Ha. As if that could have happened. Not only did I not want to pull away, I wanted to pull him toward me and devour him.

Some of my friends had talked about their knees going weak when they kissed a guy. I had always nodded and been supportive out loud, but secretly I had rolled my eyes. There was no way. I had kissed a lot of guys and nothing like that had ever happened to me. Yeah, it had been good, hot even, and I had wanted it to go further, but it had never been impossible for me to move away. My knees had never been locked in agreement with my heart, with every bit of my body responding to the lips of the man who held me tenderly.

Now I knew what my friends were talking about. I knew they had been right and I knew I could never go back from this. Anyone else would always be a poor imitation of Seth. It would be like going into a restaurant intent on having your favorite meal, and finding that it had been taken off the menu. You could order something else; it could be cooked by freaking Wolfgang Puck and it still wouldn’t taste good. You would always want your original favorite. That would always be the best. There was no substitute.