Surrender To You (21 page)

That didn’t end the conversation though.

“As for you two,” Simon said with a frown at Grace and Stefan. “Both of you were in the wrong.”

They both started to speak but he held up a hand.

“I don’t care. I’m not a doctor right now, I’m the man dating Elle standing in the middle of this damned mess. This whole thing is, quite frankly, disgusting. You should both be ashamed at your absolute lack of fucking common sense in dealing with the situation.”

Stefan’s mouth dropped open, Grace started crying, and Simon looked over at me.

“And you,” he said, his voice dripping with his disappointment in me. “I expected better from you. Such a display in retaliation doesn’t flatter you.”

With that, he turned on his heel and my eyes filled with tears.

Seconds later, the sky opened up, rain pouring down with perfect timing to join me in my embarrassment.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Three days passed without a word from Simon.

No calls, no texts. No response to my many messages. He’d declared to everyone at the party that we were dating but it sure didn’t feel that way now.

I knew this was him ignoring me. He’d always call me, even if it would only last five minutes until he needed to get some sleep.

I also knew that I deserved it.

There wasn’t an excuse for my behavior. Even though Yvette had pushed me, I shouldn’t have responded that way. Commenting had only made things worse, not better. Walking away would have been smarter.

Worse than my retaliation at Yvette, was the indisputable fact I’d been wrong to be so rude to Grace. In the moment, it had felt good but in truth, it had been a cruel thing to do. I snapped because up until then, she’d said nothing to me since the moment I found out she’d had a baby with my ex-boyfriend. She wouldn’t look at me, had ignored me the few times I’d run into her and, most of all, she hadn’t even bothered to say sorry for lying to me all these years.

It would be hard to apologize to someone who didn’t seem to feel sorry for any of her actions. Yet, I knew I would have to.

But first, I needed to get Simon to talk to me. I missed him. I hadn’t even told him I loved him.

He probably thought of my little display as proof that I wanted Stefan.

Wrong, so wrong.
He
was the man I dreamed of now.

Before I thought it through clearly, I left the house. Deciding to walk since it was nice out, I quickly came to regret not driving.

Far enough from home yet close enough to Simon’s place that turning around would take longer, the weather took a dive and rain cascaded down with no sign of letting up as rapidly as it had arrived.

Drenched to the bone, I cried as I kept walking.

Then, a horn honked. I looked over to find Grace driving slowly. The window lowered and she stopped the car, leaning over. “Get in!”

Still a good ten minutes away, I considered it for a brief second before shaking my head. I was almost there. I could do it without her help.

“Right now, Elizabeth,” she shouted. “Or so help me, I’ll hop out of this car and kick your ass.”

I stood there, wondering if she’d actually do it, until she put the car in park and reached down to take off her seat belt. Not wishing to land us both in jail, I sloshed over to the car and got in.

“Haven’t you heard of an umbrella?”

“Yes, but have you learned what birth control is?” I retorted, watching her face flame.

Instantly, I regretted it. Hadn’t my mouth gotten me in enough trouble? “I’m sorry—”

“No!
I’m
sorry, Elizabeth,” she said as she looked me straight in the eyes, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. “I…I never meant to lie. The whole thing was just a huge mistake. I wanted to tell you when it happened, b-but I froze up. I couldn’t get the words out. As time passed, it got harder and harder until I just couldn’t see the point anymore.”

I wanted to yell at her, yet I couldn’t. I knew what it was like to want to tell someone something, only to feel as if your whole world would fall apart if you did. To freeze up to the point you had to get away or you feared suffocating. Her secret had been nothing similar to mine, but it was her secret, not mine. I couldn’t presume to know what it had felt like, because our situations weren’t comparable.

“We never expected you to come home.”

Her words pierced my heart, the truth in them unmistakable. Until Stefan had come careening back into my life, I hadn’t even considered coming back home. If anything, I’d wanted to get even further away.

“Doctor Worthington was right. I should’ve told you, even if we thought you weren’t coming back. Both Stefan and I handled it badly. You deserved to know the truth.”

Even though she had finally apologized, her words didn’t make me feel righteous.

They made me feel heartless. Cruel. Perhaps even vicious.

Stefan. My mother. Grace.

All of them. I should have told all of them.

People I loved and people who had loved me, all left out in the cold as to the change in my behavior. As to why I’d left and had never bothered to call them, or come to visit.

I didn’t know the right thing to say, searching for the words to tell her I understood. Yet she must have taken my silence as a refusal to speak of what had happened.

She looked away, her voice quavering as she put the car in gear and drove away from the curb. “Where were you going? I will take you there.”

“Simon’s.”

I gave her an address and within minutes, she pulled in the driveway.

“You sure he’s here?”

“No.” I shrugged. “He won’t answer my calls or texts.”

“Do you want me to wait? It’s still pouring…”

Shaking my head, I grabbed the door handle.

“T-thanks,” she rushed ahead, no doubt afraid I’d get out before she finished. “For coming to the party, I mean. No matter what I did, I’m glad you realize its not her fault. She loves you.”

I nodded, unable to speak for the tears clogging my throat and got out. She sat there, probably waiting for me to go to the door, but I didn’t move. Finally she reversed and drove off.

I walked up to the door and stood as close as possible to avoid getting further drenched. I rang the doorbell. I knocked. Only silence greeted me.

Stupid. I was stupid for coming here without knowing if he was here or not. I probably should have looked in the garage window, but I wouldn’t do it now with it still pouring just inches away from where I stood.

In one final, desperate attempt to get him to answer me, I sent him a text.

‘Are you home, I’m outside, raining. Need to talk. Please answer me.’

A minute or two passed with no response. I couldn’t be sure because my phone beeped at me and died. Even if he answered me, I’d have no way to know.

Cursing myself and the impulsive decision to come see a man who had obviously washed his hands of me, I curled into a ball near the corner of the door,
 
hugging my knees and sobbing as I tried to figure out a way I could get home. I should have had Grace wait.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

More like idiot, idiot, idiot.

Just when I thought I’d have to walk home, the door moved behind me.

With a cry of surprise, I fell backward, sprawled on my back in his entryway. A very angry looking Simon stared down at me as he threw his hands in the air.

“What the
hell
do you think you are doing?”

~*~

I stared up at him, so glad to see him the ability to speak evaded me.

“What the—-? Where the hell is your car, Elle?”

He crouched down and gathered me into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck while simultaneously placing my head in the crook of it. Shivering, an involuntary sob escaped, as the coldness finally registered.

“I’ve got you,” he murmured. “What possessed you to walk here in the rain?”

“W-w-was s-sunny.” Damn, my teeth chattering made talking painful. I refrained from attempting to explain any further, trying to warm my face using the heat of his throat. He was warm, I snuggled in closer and his arms tightened.

The door slammed shut and he strode away, carrying me up the stairs.

When he stopped walking I lifted my head, spotting his bed a few feet away.

“Can you stand? You gotta take these clothes off.”

I nodded and he slowly lowered me. When I was steady, he quickly stripped me, the shivers wracking my body with every new rush of air against my skin. Walking away for a few seconds, he came back with a towel in hand. With the attitude of a man on a mission, he toweled me dry before guiding me over to the bed and under the blankets. I pulled them up over my head, curling into a ball to try and get warm. I didn’t know what he was doing. I heard him moving around the room, opening and shutting drawers.

The next thing I knew, he crawled into bed and lay next to me. His arms wrapped around me from behind, his naked body flush against mine. He threw a leg over mine to hold them still, then the room fell silent. One of his hands rubbed my side, around to my stomach, down my leg slightly only to curve over my ass and back up my side. My trembling lessened, my teeth slowly chattering less and less until I sufficiently warmed up.

Still, he didn’t speak. I wondered if he fell asleep, or if he wanted to warm me up only to take me back home once it was done. I felt him breathing against my neck, the weight of his arms and legs a delicious heaviness, and I sighed.

“Are you awake?”

My words were low, intentional in case he had fallen asleep. I didn’t want to wake him. I needn’t have worried.

“No.”

I worried my lower lip with my teeth, unsure what to say. The silence deafening in its stillness, I tried to get him to talk me.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me? Or yell at me?”

“No.” A pause, a tightening of his arms around me sent my heart soaring. “Do you want me to yell at you?”

“I…I might deserve it.”

When he placed a sweet kiss on my shoulder, I almost burst into tears.

“Don’t be silly, Elle. I’d never yell at you.”

“A-aren’t you angry at me?” My voice trembled. I hated the way I felt, my vulnerability shining through. “You were ignoring me.”

“No, not angry. Disappointed. Especially after what you’d said to Stefan, because I thought you were sincere.”

I slammed my eyes shut, my estimation of what he’d thought of my words to Grace true. “I did mean it. But Grace hurt me and she hadn’t even apologized. I—it was childish,” I finished lamely.

“You ripped into her as if you were a jealous lover, Elle. Childish isn’t the word.”

“It’s not what you think.”

At that he flipped me onto my back before hovering over me, his eyes glinting devilishly. The very sight of it had me catching my breath.

“What is it then, Elle? Simon says you have to tell me.”

His joke didn’t have the desired effect, tears clouding my vision as I admitted the real reason I’d ripped into Grace like I had.

“She might’ve been mine,” I whispered. “I’d have been a mother by now, maybe.”

“I see,” he said, his gaze thoughtful. “With Stefan?”

I frowned, nodding my head. “Back then, yes,
 
it would have been.” I sighed. “I’m hurt she lied to me, but I guess I am also jealous. I’ve always wanted to be a mother.”

Simon gazed down at me, his whole body relaxing noticeably. “Is that all you want, Elle? A baby?”

“No,” I shook my head, lowering my eyes to his lips as he unconsciously licked them. “I want more than that. I want a family.”

“I know the feeling.”

My mouth went dry at the sudden heat in his eyes.

“Flip onto your stomach,” he said with a groan.

“Why?”

I swore his eyes burned brighter as he answered, smiling. “I want to touch you.”

The very thought of him doing so made me want to moan. I turned over, unsure where to put my hands and finally just deciding I’d rest them on the pillow above my head. Simon nipped at my ear, chuckling in my ear.

“I may be a virgin in the literal sense of the word sweetie, but I know more than you think.”

Oh, I knew that and counted on it. I wasn’t going to admit it out loud though. For a moment, I thought he would say more, yet I found myself disappointed.

He skimmed his hands down, rubbing my shoulders, swirling his fingers, massaging my back with an occasional unexpected kiss to make me squirm. Then, they were on my ass; rubbing, assessing, appreciative. The low, rough timbre when he spoke gave me goosebumps.

“Some day - not tonight - I’m going to take you like this, with your lovely bottom lifted enough that I can slide home. All so I can watch you clutch those sheets in your hands, your body shuddering under mine in that beautiful submissive position.”

I wished, right then, that I was the type of woman who could come from simply being spoken to. His voice would serve well for that.

Then, he moved. I couldn’t see him. I felt him though as he slid up my body, his frame engulfing mine from above. His hands swallowed up mine, his mouth teasing my ear and neck as he licked and nibbled. I arched my ass up into him, my body on fire for something.

I wanted his touch on me, and I was sick of waiting.

“Are we going to have sex soon then?”

“Oh yes, tonight. Right now,” he promised. “Except I want to see the face of the woman I love the first time. In case you’re wondering, that would be you.”

My breath hitched, the words slamming into me. “Simon…”

He gripped my hip with one hand, squeezing, comforting. “Elle.”

I didn’t hesitate. Isn’t that what I came here to tell him? How much he meant to me.

He knew why I’d come.

No more hiding, no more lying to myself.

“Let me turn over.”

He eased up and I turned back over, the recipient of a breathtaking smile I’d seen once before. Lifting a hand, I cupped his face in my hand; his head tilted automatically, seeking more as his eyes fluttered closed. With a bit of pressure, I brought his face to mine and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“I love you, too.”

Like a storm unleashed, he took possession of my mouth as I wrapped my legs around him. He held my neck, his tongue diving into my mouth and around, moaning as he rocked into me. My hands slid around to grab his hair, battling with him for domination only to let him lead anyway.