Surrender To The Viking (15 page)

Chapter Sixteen

W
hen they returned from their walk sometime later they met Guthrum. He greeted them with his usual cheery grin.

‘It’s good to see you on the mend, Jarl Finn.’

Finn smiled back. ‘It’s good to be on the mend.’

‘I’m glad I found you. I need to speak with you.’

Lara looked from one to the other. ‘I’ll leave you two alone then.’

‘No need, Cousin. What I have to say is not private. It’s merely that my men and I are planning to return home.’

‘Oh. I see.’

‘Now that Steingrim’s power is smashed there is no reason for us to remain,’ said Guthrum. ‘And to be honest we’re keen to see our families again.’

‘Of course you are. That’s understandable.’

Finn nodded. ‘Lara’s right and I’ll not be the man to delay you any longer. Nor will I forget the service you have done me. Without you and your men the outcome would have been very different.’

‘It was a pleasure, believe me,’ replied Guthrum. ‘My only regret is that we haven’t got Steingrim’s head on a spear.’

‘Well, we can’t have everything.’

‘True. Besides, I may run into him again one day.’

‘When are you planning to leave?’

‘First thing tomorrow.’

Finn clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Then we shall feast you well tonight.’

* * *

It was a convivial gathering with much laughter and banter among the men. Lara took little part in the conversation being much occupied with replenishing cups and ensuring the smooth service of food. Fortunately the servants were competent and willing. Nor did any question her right to make decisions and see them implemented. She was mistress of Finn’s household and they deferred to her. Perhaps being thrown straight in at the start had been a blessing after all.

‘It’s going to be a lot quieter without Guthrum around,’ said Alrik as she filled his cup. ‘I’ll miss him.’

‘So will I,’ she replied.

‘Well, he always was larger than life.’

‘He wants to get back to Greta. She’s expecting their third child soon.’

‘Their third? Didn’t they just have their first?’

She laughed. ‘That was a while ago, Brother.’

‘I suppose it must have been.’

‘What about you? Is there no lady you’ve set your heart upon?’

‘Ladies there are, but none of them has my heart.’

‘There’s plenty of time yet.’

He grinned. ‘One day I may fall head over heels for a pretty face but that day is not yet.’

‘I look forward to the event.’

‘I’ll be sure to let you know.’

Lara returned the grin and moved on, making her way among the groups of men, pausing occasionally to exchange a few words here and there. Among those she spoke to was Folkvar, now on his feet again albeit with the aid of a crutch.

‘I’ll be able to dispense with this thing soon,’ he informed her.

‘But not too soon,’ she replied. ‘Give nature a chance.’

‘I shall, my lady.’

‘It’s only that he can’t stand the teasing,’ said Ketill. ‘The lads have taken to calling him Folkvar the Halt.’

Folkvar gave him a haughty look. ‘Sticks and stones...’

‘Well, you have the stick part right.’

‘Aye, and I know where I’m going to shove it in a moment,’ growled his cousin.

The men guffawed.

Lara shook her head. ‘Let them say what they will. I shall always think of you as Folkvar Stoutheart.’

He reddened but his pleasure was evident. His companions eyed him with mock resentment.

‘He’ll be unbearable now,’ said Ketill.

Vigdis feigned dismay. ‘What, worse than before?’

‘Impossible,’ said Sturla.

Lara laughed and they laughed with her, including Folkvar this time. He looked around at the others.

‘You’re just jealous.’

‘Of course we’re jealous, you ugly oaf,’ replied Sturla. ‘For some reason that none of us can fathom, you have managed to win this lady’s good opinion.’

Ketill shook his head. ‘It’s too much. Sickening in fact.’

‘So it is,’ said Vigdis. ‘Give us another drink, my lady, that we may drown our sorrows.’

* * *

From across the room Finn watched the little scene closely. He couldn’t hear the words but the laughter carried. His men were obviously enjoying his wife’s company and she theirs. He didn’t imagine that the conversation was anything other than light-hearted banter and it was ridiculous to feel excluded.
No
, he amended,
not excluded: jealous
.
Although his relationship with Lara had undergone considerable change for the better she never laughed in quite that way with him, never seemed quite so relaxed around him. Almost at once he felt annoyed with himself. It was still early days. They’d already come a long way and in difficult circumstances. It was ridiculous to compare a casual conversation among friends with that of a husband and wife. Lara was just being a good hostess. Another burst of laughter erupted across the room. Finn took another swig of mead and forced himself to smile.
Let it go.
What on earth is the matter with you?

A short time later he saw Alrik wander over and join the group. He saw Lara smile and put her arm around him. Alrik smiled and kissed her cheek. Finn drew a deep breath.
Alrik is her brother, you idiot. She loves him.
It’s right that she should.
It occurred to him that Lara had a great capacity for loving, and not just Alrik either. She had loved Asa too, very deeply. Finn sighed. What she felt for him was quite different. On the other hand affection and respect were more than he could once have hoped for. A few hours ago he had declared himself content with that. He realised now it wasn’t true.

* * *

When at length they retired he undressed her and took her to bed. What followed was passionate but restrained; a slow-burning and intense coupling in which he used all his skill to arouse and excite. Physical surrender wasn’t enough; he wanted every part of her. She was his. It must be he who dominated her thoughts, his touch that set her alight, his lovemaking that she craved. Possession must be absolute. Only once before had he felt so strongly about a woman and he had lost her through his own carelessness. That wasn’t going to happen again, and so he used every means at his disposal to reawaken desire and to bring her with him; caressing, teasing, exploring possibilities, alive to every response and then making her wait, holding her at his pleasure and hearing her plead before he granted the wish. And when he took her she cried out, the blue-green eyes dark with passion, her expression tense and ecstatic, her body arching against his, her nails raking his back. And his whole being was suffused with the sheer blood-leaping joy of it.

Afterwards they lay together, weightless, drowsy with contentment and temporary satiety. For some time he watched her, his gaze taking in every detail of her nakedness and the pale skin flushed with his lovemaking, and he breathed the hot sweet scent of her. Then desire rekindled and he made love to her again and the night was far advanced before they slept.

* * *

Lara woke with the light and her body still throbbing. Every last detail of that skilled and protracted possession was imprinted on her flesh. Tender and ardent and demanding by turns, he had roused her to a pitch of desire so intense that everything else ceased to exist save the hunger for him, the fierce longing that only he could satisfy. And he had, twice over, until every part of her was resonating with it, thrilling to his possession of her. Submission to his will was exhilarating; it made her feel triumphant and supremely alive. The joy of it bound her more strongly than chains. He had awakened something in her whose existence she had not guessed at until now and which would not die until she did. The knowledge was bittersweet. His lovemaking was motivated by a desire to get her with child and, at this rate, it wouldn’t take long. Perhaps even now his seed had taken root inside her. Her only regret was that his actions were not motivated by love.

* * *

Later they went together to bid farewell to Guthrum and his men. Lara was sorry to see them go, although she understood their need. The ties of home and kin were strong and they had more than fulfilled their part of the bargain with Finn. Her bargain with him was just beginning.

‘I shall return before too long,’ said Guthrum.

‘With news of a fine new child,’ she replied.

‘I trust so.’ He grinned. ‘Perhaps by the time I get back you’ll have the like news for me, eh?’

Her cheeks reddened a little. ‘Who knows? In the meantime be sure to give my love to Greta and the children.’

‘I will.’ He wrapped her in a hearty embrace and then turned to Finn. ‘I hope we shall meet again very soon.’

‘It is my hope also,’ he replied.

When all the words had been said the crew went on board and soon afterwards the
Sea Snake
was moving away from the jetty. Lara watched her go with mixed emotions. It wouldn’t be long before Alrik departed too, she realised, and with him the last link to her family and her home. The past couple of weeks had been an interlude only. After this she and Finn would truly begin married life in earnest. They would establish the routines of daily living. They would discover more about each other, argue sometimes and learn where the boundaries of tolerance were. The quarrels would be fierce but the making up would be passionate too. She threw him a sideways glance. No doubt Finn would try to have his way by one means or another.

He intercepted the look and raised an eyebrow. ‘That was a very speculative expression. I’d like to ask its origin only I’m afraid you wouldn’t tell me.’

‘In truth I was thinking about the future.’

He put an arm about her waist. ‘What were you thinking?’

‘That this is really the start of normal married life.’

‘Yes, I suppose it is, since what went before can scarce be described as normal.’

‘No, but it was exciting, wasn’t it?’

‘Have you not had your fill of adventure?’

‘I could do without the deadlier kinds, but not all.’

‘Well, there are other options left to us. All manner of exciting possibilities.’ He bent to nuzzle her neck. ‘Like the ones we experienced last night.’

She had no trouble interpreting the real meaning of this. Now he had dealt with his enemies he would turn his attention to getting her pregnant. He would make the process enjoyable but what he wanted were the sons he’d spoken of before. Would he love her if he got them? Could real love ever be conditional? She wished that she could take a more dispassionate view because then she would care less and it wouldn’t hurt as much. As it was, the only possible response was to put a brave face on things.

She summoned a smile. ‘You are insatiable.’

‘You have no idea.’

‘I think I do.’
I think I know all too well.

‘Well, perhaps the general idea is now clear to you,’ he conceded. ‘It’s the details I shall have to explain.’

‘Only to explain?’

‘Explain and demonstrate—at some considerable length.’

In spite of her present mood the words created a little shiver of anticipation. He held the key to pleasure, to sensations she wanted to repeat. It annoyed her that she did. It annoyed her that, deep down, a part of her still clung to the hope that physical intimacy might one day let her reach him and touch his heart. Mixed up with that was the fear that she might not succeed and an underlying resentment that she now had no choice but to try. He had ascendancy over her in every possible way and he’d accomplished it with very little effort. It was a potent combination of conflicting emotions and its effect was to increase mental confusion.

* * *

As Lara had anticipated, the departure of the
Sea
Snake
was the signal for Alrik and his men to think about taking their leave also. Now that the adventure was over they would look for another. She felt a sudden strong twinge of envy that they had the freedom to do as they wished and go where they wanted whereas a woman never had that kind of choice. Her destiny was marriage and even that was decided by others. It created an unwonted feeling of entrapment. She guessed it must be akin to what a wild animal felt when caught and caged.

‘We must find something lucrative this time,’ said Alrik.

‘Be careful, Brother. Don’t let greed for silver override common sense.’

He grinned. ‘I shall heed the advice.’

‘I’ll miss you. Be sure to return soon.’

‘I shall. After all, it’s not so very far to come.’

‘You and your men will always be welcome here.’

He surveyed her steadily. ‘And you take care as well while I’m gone. No more adventuring. You must settle down and become a good wife.’

At the back of her mind the cage door slammed shut with cold finality. However there was no way to share that sensation and nothing to be done about it if she did. With an effort, she summoned a smile. ‘Must I?’

‘Certainly. After all, you have a good husband, do you not?’

She could think of worse ones. ‘In truth I think so.’

‘Well, then, you have no grounds for complaint.’

A woman must accept her lot, you mean.
‘I have none to make.’

‘Good. He too seems content with the bargain. I see the way he looks at you.’

‘Oh? What way is that?’

‘Like a man much smitten,’ he replied.

No, a man who wishes to get a child.
‘I believe he has some affection for me.’

‘I’d say he has all of that and more. I saw his face when he saw you in the clutches of Steingrim’s thugs. It’s the first time I ever saw a warrior’s face turn pale.’

* * *

The conversation stayed with her long after Alrik and his companions had departed. In the melancholy aftermath of that event she hugged her brother’s words close, wanting to believe they might be true. Finn had been enraged that another man should lay hands upon her, but had there been more to it than that? Had he cared at a deeper level than a trespass on his rights? If so, might there not be a real chance for affection to grow and become stronger; to become love?

It was impossible to deny what she felt for him; impossible to deny that she had lost her heart. She had denied it until that awful day when his ship returned and she couldn’t see him and feared him dead. The horror of that moment was greater than any she had ever experienced. A world without him in it would be a cold and unattractive place indeed. If anything had happened to him a part of her would have died too. Yet if she could not win his love there would be another kind of dying, one slower and crueller by far. In her early association with Finn, she’d been in a position of strength. Emotional involvement undermined it leaving her weak and vulnerable. Sometimes she hardly recognised the woman she was becoming.