Surrender to Me (27 page)

Well, it was comfortable until Jasper’s afterglow fades.

“What’s wrong?” I ask apprehensively.

If he tells me he regrets what we just did, I will honestly jump
into the lake and swim to China!

He places his hands into his pockets and bows his head, his
dishevelled hair sticking onto his damp brow. Is Jasper... embarrassed?

Wow, this is a first.

“I'm sorry I didn't...” he replies, gesturing an obscure sideways
movement with his hand.

“Play tennis?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him, totally confused
with what he is trying to tell me.

He lets out a soft chuckle. “No. I didn’t...pull out. You just felt
so good, and I, well... couldn’t stop. I fucked up, sorry.”

Oh, shit. I was too caught up in OH MY GOD I am having sex with
Jasper to realize. 

We’ve always been safe in the past, so this is definitely a first.

“Oh,” I reply, while quickly doing a mental calculation in my head
to when I am ovulating.

Luckily, I think we’re in the clear.

“It’s okay, I’m not...you know,” I say awkwardly, gesturing a
rolling motion with my hands. This motion is meant to signify being fertile,
but of course looks nothing like what I am trying to articulate.

“Swimming?” Jasper asks with a dimpled smile.

I smack him lightly on the chest, glad he understands my lame ass
signalling.

“It’s fine, we’re in the clear. But I’ll go to a twenty four hour
drug store to get something, just in case.”

Jasper nods, lightly interlacing his fingers with mine. “Okay. I
will come with you.”

This is something the old Jasper would say. The old Jasper that used
to love me. Could it be, that maybe, maybe the old Jasper has allowed the new
Jasper to love me? My cheeks hurt under the huge grin I am currently wearing at
that possibility.

“What?” he asks, pulling me towards him so we are standing chest to
chest.

“Nothing,” I reply, gazing into his baby blues.

Reality sets in when we both hear muffled music coming from the
house. I don’t have a watch or my phone to check how long we have been out here
for.

“We better go back in,” I say unhappily, not wanting to move an inch.

Jasper sighs, looking back at the house with a look of annoyance.
“You’re right. I am sure you have been missed,” he barks, and I know he is
referring to Harper.

Leaning up on my tippy toes and kissing the tip of his strong nose,
he gives me a small smile which lets me know I am off the hook- for now.  But I
know when the wedding is over, it’ll be a different story.

He takes a hold of my hand, and his simple gesture warms my heart,
but I am too scared to over think anything right now, so I will enjoy this,
whatever it is.

We head up the hill, swinging our interlocked fingers like school
kids, and I am giggling loudly as Jasper is retelling a story of when he was in
kindergarten. This is one of the only memories he has that isn’t tainted by
neglect or abuse.

However my giggling halts before we reach the front door as Jasper
stops, spinning me by my shoulders to face him.

“If he touches you, I'm going to break his hand,” Jasper calmly
says, meaning every word.

Pulling a face, I tease, “Are you...jealous?”

Could I really be that lucky? If he was jealous, that would mean
that he...still cares.

He wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me forward. “Damn
straight. No one touches what's mine.”

I roll my eyes dramatically. “I am not anyone’s.” My insides are
cartwheeling in excitement because he just called me his, but I play it off,
not wanting to jump up and down prematurely.

“C’mon caveman,” I say, grabbing the scruff of his collar, pulling
him inside.

As we enter, Jasper lets out a bad impression of a caveman call
which echoes off the foyer walls.

“You're a dork,” I chuckle, slapping him playfully on the arm.

Jasper catches my hand and brings it up to his lips, kissing the
back of it. “But I'm your dork.”

Holy Moly, I have just melted into a pool of goo. Can this night get
any better?

I smile happily. “You bet you are.”

He pulls me in for a kiss which is sadly interrupted when we hear a
throat clearing-loudly.

Well, there goes my perfect night!

Turning around guiltily, I see Harper standing a few feet behind us,
arms crossed, watching us unimpressed.

I pull away quickly and watch Jasper frown.

I can't win!

Harper looks at Jasper hatefully, and the feeling is more than
mutual, judging by the serious stink eye Jasper is throwing Harper’s way.
Clearing my throat thankfully seems to snap them out of their testosterone
filled stare off.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I was coming to find you to say
goodbye,” Harper explains.

“Oh, you're leaving?” I ask surprised, and also a little worried as
to how long I was MIA.

As usual I’ve lost all track of time, because there is no other
place I would rather be, than in Jasper’s arms.

Harper nods and I notice him peering at my neck, raising his
eyebrows.

My hand flies up to my throat, and I can feel a blush heat my
cheeks.

Jasper notices my timid response and snaps at Harper, “Don't let the
door hit you on the way out.”

I shoot a scolding look his way because he is being unnecessarily
rude. But of course he only smirks at me, highly amused at this whole situation.

Harper ignores Jasper, and continues on like he didn't just insult
him. “Yes, I'm not feeling well. Did you want me to take you home?”

That wipes the amused look off of Jasper’s face.

He quickly grabs my hand, and pulls me to his side. “She's fine where
she is.”

I look up at him unimpressed.

Harper nods. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then,” and he leans
forward, giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Tensing under his kiss as I feel Jasper stiffen up near me, Harper
thankfully walks away before Jasper has a chance to rip off his lips.

When Harper is out the door, I turn to Jasper, eyes wide. “You don't
have to be so rude.”

I understand why he is behaving the way he is, but it still doesn’t
excuse his bad manners.

Jasper merely shrugs. “Yes I do. He’s a jackass and he’s lucky he’s
leaving in one piece. And what does he mean exactly by, he’ll see you tomorrow?”

I cringe. “Oh, about that,” I reply, biting my lip.

“Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to like what you're gonna
tell me?” he says while tapping the tip of my nose.

I smile sweetly. “I just won’t tell you then,” I reply, giving him a
chaste kiss.

I love that I am able to openly do this again.

As I pull away, he raises his perfect eyebrow. “He’ll be fine, as
long as he keeps his eyes, lips and hands to himself.”

I chuckle, slightly turned on by his possessiveness and smile.

“I heard Tarzan wants his loin cloth back.” And I turn my back on
him, walking into the direction of the dining room.

Jasper smacks me on the butt as he catches up to me, letting out the
infamous Tarzan call.

I roll my eyes, but secretly, I would give my right arm to see him
in a loin cloth.

*****

“Goodbye papa bear, I'm going to miss you,” coos V, kissing Lucas on
the lips candidly.

Jasper and I are standing near my car, rolling our eyes at the
disgusting PDA before us. 

“Seriously guys, you're seeing each other in like twelve hours. Not
twelve years,” Jasper jokes, poking Lucas in the ribs. “Let’s go man. We gotta
hit the stripclubs before you become all domesticated and boring.” Jasper mock
shudders and I bite back my laugh.

V narrows her eyes at Jasper. “You will not be taking my fiancée to
any place where naked ladies and their jiggly bits are on display for all to
beat off to.”

Jasper grins, his dimples taunting me with their cuteness. “What if
we went to a place that had beer and naked ladies?”

V takes a step towards him, poking her finger into his chest. “You
remember that promise I made you?”

Jasper blanches while holding onto his privates.

“I wasn't joking.”

The look on Jasper’s face is priceless and I burst out laughing. I
have tears in my eyes and am holding my sides, cackling uncontrollably. This
goes on for about a minute, and when I catch my breath, Jasper tickles my
sides.

“I dunno why you're laughing. We both suffer if she makes good on
her word.”

And that cracks me up even more.

Suddenly, all four of us are in hysterics like the good old days. It
is so nice to laugh again, and I hope this happy moment is just the start of
many more to come.

I have laughed so hard I have given myself a stitch.

Wiping the tears out of my eyes, I pull V into a hug.

“
Okay Miss, let’s go home. I need all the
beauty sleep I can get with your snoring.”

V nudges me with her hip. “I do not a snore,” she pouts.

Lucas and I look at one another, attempting to hide our smiles
behind our hands, but we fail terribly.

V has a small smirk on her lips, and I know she is going to
embarrass the hell out of me.

“Well, at least I don't order Chinese in my sleep.”

That definitely stops my laughter as I defend my honour. “That was
one time!”

Jasper snorts and bites his lip when I evil him.

V giggles. “I’m just letting Jasper know what he's in for, that's
all,” she says, raising her palms innocently.

Jasper is chuckling deeply.  “Oh, I'm well aware of her sleep
talking. It has kept me entertained on many sleepless nights. Last I remember,
she was a Girl Scout selling me cookies.”

Beyond mortified, I smack him playfully on the chest.

“Hey,
I'm not complaining. I had great dreams of you in uniform that night.”

I smack him harder this time. “You perv!”

He pulls me to his chest, hugging me. “When it comes to you,
always.”

His comment does crazy things to my insides, and being this close to
him, reminds me of what we did tonight. I shiver at the memory and Jasper
tightens his hold around me.

“Oh God seriously, get a room,” V jokes. “However judging by that
hickie, a room is not a prerequisite for you two.”

I automatically cover my neck, totally embarrassed.

“Oh Ava please, it’s about time,” V says casually.

Hiding my face into Jasper’s taunt chest, I snuggle into him and am
surrounded by everything that is Jasper White. And I never want to leave this
happy place. I am so comfortable being wrapped up in his arms, and as I feel
Jasper’s chest rising in steady, deep breaths, I sigh happily. I could stay
like this forever, because I belong in these warm familiar arms of the man I
will love with my last breath.

*****

I am towel drying my hair in front of the bathroom mirror, and Bruno
Mars,’ Marry You is blaring through my iPod earphones. I don't know how I got
here, because I never thought I would be sitting here with this ridiculously
huge smile, plastered all over my face. I smile at my reflection, and for once,
it smiles back, and I promise myself, I will never allow that smile to fade.
And I also promise myself, to never let the reason behind my smile leave me
ever again.

I still can’t believe tonight happened, but the pinkish mark on my
neck is a reminder that I didn’t dream it. But what does this mean for Jasper
and I? Yes, we had sex, and yes, it was amazing, but we never discussed what
happens now. In three days time, I will be on a plane, heading back to
Singapore for six months to finish my scholarship, but the thought of leaving
Jasper actually makes me feel nauseous, which is ridiculous, as we haven’t even
spoken about us. Or even if there is an us. I want there to be, but ultimately
the decision is Jasper’s. I know that once tomorrow ends, it’ll bring about a
new chapter in my life- with or without Jasper

I really hope it’s with.

Piling my hair into a high bun, and brushing my teeth while bopping
around the bathroom to Bruno Mars, I realize I am happy again, and the feeling
is one I have sorely missed.

Slam dunking my wet towel into the hamper as I make my way into my
bedroom, sleep cannot come quick enough, and I know I need all I can get,
considering the day I am in for tomorrow. I slip on my light blue cotton boxers
with rubber duckies on them, and blue tank top. My eyes begin to droop as soon
I pull back the quilt, welcoming the idea of losing myself in sleepy land.