Surrender the Heart (25 page)

“How goes it?” he asked Luke as he reached up and grabbed the
mess pouches from hooks on the bulkhead and flung them on the table. The men opened them and pulled out their utensils.

Grabbing a hardtack from a pile, Luke took a bite and winced— Noah guessed—at the hard-as-stone shell around the biscuit. Luke tossed it down. “Great, if you call spending the day in the blaring sun heaving lines pleasurable.”

“Try spending the day spit polishing the guns.” Weller moaned.

“You’re going t’ have to toughen up, lads,” Blackthorn said. “This is your life now. The sooner you accept it, the better.” He dipped a ladle into a kettle of foul-smelling stew and slopped some into Noah’s bowl.

The putrid smell of some type of fish rose with the steam and stung Noah’s nose. Perhaps it would suffice to soften his hardtack. Yet when Noah dipped his biscuit into the steaming concoction, it remained as hard as a brick. His stomach pained, and setting the biscuit aside, he tipped the bowl and drained it as quickly as he could. At least it was warm.

Along with the shouts and laughter assailing him from all directions, Noah sensed the piercing gazes of several pairs of eyes. He looked up to see men from the surrounding tables periodically staring at Noah and his friends as they made comments to their companions. Not pleasant comments, he surmised, from the disdain knotting their features.

“Ignore them.” Weller grabbed his share of salted pork and plopped it onto his plate. “Some don’t take kindly to us bein’ Americans.”

Luke gave a sordid chuckle. “And here I thought we were British deserters.” He downed his stew as Noah had done and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

“They know exactly who we are.” Blackthorn poured liquid from a decanter into tin cups. “An’ most o’ them lost family in the Revolution.” He set a cup before each of them. “One cup o’ beer for each of you.”

The ship canted to port, sending the lantern above their table swaying like a drunk man. Waves of golden light pulsated over the dreary scene.

Mr. Weller cast a glance around him and mumbled under his breath.

Noah eyed his gunner with concern. “I’ll get you out of here, Weller, I promise.” Though at the moment, he had no idea how he would accomplish such a feat.

“I place no blame on you, Cap’n.” Weller tugged at his scarf. “I knew the risks when I signed on wit’ yer crew.” He gulped his drink then wiped his mouth on his stained sleeve. “Best not to make promises ye cannot keep.”

Noah’s stomach shriveled. Is that what he was doing? Promising something beyond his reach, beyond his ability? The permanent etch of disappointment lining his father’s face rose to crowd out Weller’s visage.

“Why can’t you be like your brother? Why must you fail at everything?”

Noah swallowed and stared into his cup, longing to see his brother in the liquid reflection, rather than his own face staring back at him. What would Jacob do? No doubt something heroic.

Blackthorn scanned the raucous crowd of sailors as if searching for someone. “Like I said, square up, lads, and get used to it. I’m afraid you’re here to stay.”

Grabbing his cup, Luke downed the beer in two gulps then slammed it down with a thump. “Square up, you say? Any more squaring up and my back will turn to leather.”

Noah ground his teeth together. He’d thought he’d seen the petty officer whipping Luke repeatedly. He glanced behind Luke at the red stripes lining his shirt. “What did you do to deserve that?”

“Nothing.” Luke stretched his back and winced. “That weasel Garrick ordered me to be lashed every time I looked the master’s mate in the eye.”

“So don’t look him in the eye,” Noah said.

A mischievous grin toyed with Luke’s lips. “It cannot be helped, I’m afraid.”

Noah shook his head and chuckled. “Your insolence will be the death of you yet.”

Blackthorn squeezed his cup between his bearlike hands. “Sink me, you’d be smart to stay away from Garrick. Don’t look at ‘im. Don’t speak to ‘im. Just do your duty.” He lowered his chin. “He’ll beat a man senseless for the smallest infraction.”

Two tables down from them, the men’s voices rose in ribald laughter as if they’d heard his declaration. A look of pained understanding passed between Weller and Blackthorn.

Noah leaned forward and studied the beefy man. “You?”

Blackthorn shifted his dark eyes toward Noah—eyes filled with restrained defiance. He nodded. “These Brits are a cruel breed.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Weller lifted his cup.

Noah remembered seeing Garrick speaking to Marianne earlier that day on deck. The drink soured in his throat. “Lieutenant Garrick, would he hurt a woman?”

Blackthorn gave a cynical snort. “I’d tell your lady to steer clear o’ ‘im as well.”

“Confound it all, we must get out of here.” Noah swore under his breath.

A midshipman passed the table, offering them a callous glance. They all grew silent.

“I was like you when I first came here,” Blackthorn whispered after the man was out of earshot. “Rebellious, bold, determined to escape.” He craned his neck forward and eyed them each in turn. “You best get that thought out of your mind straightaway. They’ll either beat the life out o’ you so you don’t want t’ live no more, or they’ll kill you.” He thrust his spoon at them. “An’ that Garrick had it out for me from the beginnin’.”

Noah took a bite of pork as he pondered Blackthorn’s statement. His jaw ached from trying to chew the tough meat. No doubt the man had suffered much during the year since he’d been impressed. But despite his declaration, Noah had no intention of being a guest on this ship that long.

“Do your best to avoid Lieutenant Garrick’s bad side, Luke.” If only he could give Miss Denton the same warning. Noah gulped down his beer. The pungent liquid dropped into his belly like a rogue wave.
“We’ll be off the ship soon enough,” he added, hoping to offer the encouragement his men needed to go on, even if he didn’t believe it himself.

Blackthorn groaned and shifted wide eyes over the room. “Don’t be talkin’ like that. We could all be flogged for desertion even at the mention of it.”

“Blasted Yankees!” A curse shot their way from the agitated crowd.

Noah eyed Mr. Weller. With his eyes downcast, he had taken up the habit once again of mumbling to himself—the same trait he’d had when Noah found him at Kingston after he’d escaped His Majesty’s Navy the first time. Guilt churned in Noah’s gut.

Luke downed his stew and tossed the bowl onto the table, adding, “What did you do before your career in His Majesty’s Navy, Blackthorn?”

“Me?” Blackthorn chuckled, revealing his two missing teeth. “As I told yer cap’n here, I was taken from a merchantman out of Savannah.” He released a heavy sigh. “Where I left a pretty wife, heavy with child.” Again, he surveyed the crowd around them as if looking for someone.

“Indeed?” Luke seemed as surprised as Noah had at the revelation.

“Aye, a good Christian woman—a true saint she be—who redeemed me from”—he cleared his throat—“me prior life.”

Luke’s eyes lit up. “Ah, a sordid past? I’m intrigued.”

“Nothin’ I’m proud of, t’ be sure.” Blackthorn scooped some mashed peas into his mouth. “Some o’ the things I did haunt me worst nightmares. But then again, if I’d stayed in that”—he scratched his thick chest hair—“profession, I wouldn’t be in me present situation. An’ I wouldn’t have met me dear, sweet Harriet, either.”

The ship tilted. Bowls and cups slid over the sticky table, but no one seemed to care. Noah rubbed the sweat from the back of his neck. Shouts and curses speared toward them from a group of sailors in the distance where a heated argument began.

A young lad wove through the crowd and headed for their table. Blackthorn’s eyes latched upon the boy like a lifeline in a storm. His shoulders lowered. “Daniel, where you been?” He mussed the boy’s
brown hair and urged him to sit opposite him, beside Weller.

“I’m well.” The boy’s smile took in everyone at the table.

“You weren’t at mess for near seven days.” A twang of worry spiked Blackthorn’s voice.

“I’ve been taking my supper with Miss Marianne.” He gazed proudly up at the burly man.

“Miss Denton?” Noah’s heart leapt. He’d been desperate for information regarding her wellbeing but had found no one who could tell him anything.

“Aye.” Daniel nodded and grabbed a biscuit. “Helping her learn how to be the cap’n’s steward.”

A steward? Noah couldn’t help but grin. She must be having as tough a time adjusting to servitude as he was to the tops. “How does she fare?”

Daniel bit into the biscuit, crumbs flying from his mouth. “She’s well. I like her. She’s nice.” He said the words with such innocent conviction, it startled Noah.

Nice?
Not exactly the way he would describe Miss Denton. Nevertheless, his body tensed as he forced the next question from his lips. “Has the captain … Has she been harmed?”

“No, sir. He works her mighty hard, but no harm will come to her.”

Noah released a breath.

“The cap’n ain’t like that,” Blackthorn added. “He’s no abuser of women.”

Despite Lieutenant Garrick’s behavior, perhaps Noah’s belief in the honor of British officers stood true. The realization only reinforced his desire to seek an audience with the man. Surely the captain would see reason to release them once the situation of their impressments was explained to him in detail. But every time the captain had been on deck, Noah had been in the tops, and when he wasn’t in the tops, he was forbidden to wander the ship. The only time he was free to slip away was in the middle watch of the night between the hours of midnight and four in the morning, and he dared not disturb the captain’s sleep.

Blackthorn scooped some pork and mashed peas onto a plate and shoved it in front of Daniel. The boy grabbed a chunk of meat and took a bite. He shifted in his seat and his gaze suddenly flew toward Noah. “Oh,” he said as if just remembering. “I have a message for you from Miss Marianne.”

Noah flinched.

“She says she’s sorry. And she wants to know if there’s anything she can do to help.”

Sorry. Was she truly sorry for all the pain she had caused them or was she simply sorry that she endured that pain along with them? Renewed anger coursed through Noah’s veins, but he forced it back. Anger over the past would not serve them now. He must focus on the future. Perhaps Miss Denton could help them. She not only had the captain’s ear, but she would be privy to his private conversations.

“Tell her to keep her ears open. Will you do that?” he whispered across the table.

“Yes, sir.” Daniel’s eyes sparkled in the lantern light. “You can trust me.”

“Good boy. Report back to me what she tells you. And keep it to yourself.”

Weller mumbled as Daniel shifted the mashed peas around his plate.

Blackthorn groaned. “I don’t want you puttin’ the boy in danger.”

“I’m only asking him to tell me what he hears.” Noah cupped the back of his own neck. “There’s no harm in that.”

A fiddle chirped in the distance, the twang keeping cadence with the creak and groan of the ship. Men began to clap and sing to the music.

“I’ll be okay, P—Mr. Blackthorn,” Daniel said. “These men have come here to help us.”

Noah blinked. “What do you mean?”

Daniel straightened in his seat. “God told me in a dream that a lady and three men would come and rescue us from this ship.”

Luke chuckled and stared into his empty cup as if in doing so,
he could conjure up more beer.

Blackthorn reached across the table and mussed the boy’s hair again. “What’s got into your fanciful head now, boy?”

Daniel giggled but then shrugged. “I’m just telling you what God told me.” He took a sip of his drink. “And then you came.” He glanced at Noah with a confidence that inferred he would accept no other explanation for their capture.

“Well, I can assure you being impressed into the navy was not my idea.” Noah offered.

“No sir. It was God’s.”

Noah eyed the boy. If what the boy said was so, then he had even more things to be angry with God about.

“If there is a God, He has abandoned us.” Weller muttered loud enough for all to hear. “For I know fer a fact, the Almighty would ne’er set foot on a British warship.”

“There is no God, Mr. Weller.” Luke’s bitter tone startled Noah. “There cannot be. Not in a world as unjust as this one.”

Yet his first mate’s declaration sparked a memory in Noah’s mind. He paused to study his first mate. “I thought your parents were missionaries.”

“My parents are dead.” Luke scowled and rubbed the scar on his ear.

Blackthorn shook his head. “Sink me, you’d all believe in God if you met me wife. The sweetest spirit I ever came across.”

Noah’s thoughts took an odd drift to Marianne. “I assure you gentlemen,” he plopped a piece of pork into his mouth and instantly regretted it as the unsavory clump hardened in his throat. He forced it down. “There is indeed a God. But I have found Him to be a harsh taskmaster. One who does what He pleases and yet who is impossible to please Himself.”