Super Awkward (9 page)

“Hey, good lock-ing. Fancy seeing you here.”

She jumped round the door and gave us both a big hug. I already feel short enough compared to Tegan, but Rachel is proper model tall. I really should have chosen friends more wisely. “So, Tegan was just explaining why one week away made her think it was fine to cut me out. . .”

“
Errrr, no. I was about to explain the practical logistics of what happens when your battery runs out, and then your phone falls through a tiny hole in your gym bag meaning you think you've lost it, until you're nagged into emptying it just before you set off for school on Monday morning, and then voila, there it is, full of slightly deranged messages.” She raised her eyebrows. “So then you message your friends asking if they want to walk in together, but they both ignore you.”

Rach and I simultaneously looked at our phones. A group message from Tegan asking if we wanted to walk in with her. Ooops.

“Well, for that I can only apologetic-face emoji at you, so let's call it quits.” Tegan shook her head despairingly. We were chalk and cheese. If chalk liked sitting on sofas and cheese liked spending every hour achieving something useful. “So, while I've got you, all that's left is to find out what you know about
this
.”

I scrolled to the pic that Luke sent. Her brown eyes hardened.

“Any idea why he'd send this to me and say it was you? We're like a fallen tree here. Totally stumped.”

Tegan took it out of my hands and zoomed right in. Did she shoot Rach a look? I looked back. Nah, she was staring at the screen. Damn loser Luke, he was even
making
me paranoid with the two people I trust most in the world.

“So weird. TBH the whole night was a bit of a blur. So unlike me.” Completely unlike her; she was always the sensible one. But I knew her well enough to recognize the signs that she might have something more to say if gently prodded.

“So you've got no idea
at all
?”

She sighed as if not sure whether to answer. “Well, there's
one
thing I can think of.”

I KNEW it. Tegan lowered her voice to a semi-whisper.

“Since Rach showed me the message at the party, I've been going over it trying to figure it out. See if we'd missed anything.”

I knew Tegan would be able to clear this up. She always did. She's basically like a TV detective, but in real life, and without the murders.

“The only thing I can come up with is that earlier in the night we'd been bigging up Black Bay. Majorly.” Rach nodded. It's what she was saying yesterday. Tegan carried on. “Puke was sitting on the floor behind the armchair we were on. We
knew
he could hear everything we said. So we sort-of made out your holiday was wall-to-wall hot boys. And that they were
all
well into you. That at one point you were physically fighting them off with a stick. And . . . and that you said it had made you realize what losers you'd dated before. . .” She winced. “And what terrible kissers they'd been. . . With questionable breath. . . And terrible choice in slogan T-shirts.” She winced even more. “And that you couldn't believe you'd ever gone out with someone who had an Il Divo single.” She bit her lip and winced. “I SWEAR we thought we were doing a good job for you, but looking back we
might
have got a teeny bit carried away.”

They sure had. But . . . I kind of liked it. The Luke bits were all true, and the way we'd split up meant I'd never been able to say any of it to him. Even though he'd gone out of his way to tell everyone I was a loser that he'd never cared about me in the first place. It was clear to me that all he ever cared about was his reputation (and weirdly his World Cup 2014 sticker album).

I pulled my best Sherlock face and flicked up an imaginary collar.

“So . . . based on what I've heard today, I put it to you that Luke thought we'd invited him to the party to laugh at him? And sending me that pic was his weird attempt at revenge.”

Tegan
jumped in. She flicked her imaginary collar back up at me.

“Exacto. And a pic of him snogging a randomer wasn't enough. He knew he'd have to involve one of us to make you waste any time thinking about it!”

In Luke's nonsensical mind, this was
exactly
the kind of thing that would make sense. I felt actual relief at us figuring out the missing piece in the puzzle. Now I could stop obsessing over Luke's weird messages, and get back to concentrating on important things. Like dreaming about Zac and scrolling hopefully through
PSSSST
.

With Luke's weirdness solved, our convo soon moved on to the other party gossip and we unpacked our books for first period. (I never understood why we need books for geography, surely you just need a map?) Just as I managed to fish out my long forgotten textbook, one of the sixth formers shoved a wodge of printed paper into my locker.

“These were meant to go in your lockers. But I forgot. Hand them out will you?”

Without waiting for an answer, she walked off. I picked them out – flyers for the end-of-term prom. It was a perk of being Year 10 or above, as we each got our
own
party. This would be our first-ever one – and the biggest thing to happen all year. The three of us had been looking forward to it since we started St Mary's.

“I'll be having one of those.” My least favourite hand in the whole school grabbed one out of my pile. Talk of the devil. And his hands. “If you're lucky, I might even invite one of you ladies. Probably Rach, as you're the fittest.”

His idiot mates laughed. I crossed a mental line through my ‘especially, definitely not seeing Luke' goal for the day. Was it fair to have this much bad luck before nine a.m.? Sensible people aren't even awake then.

Tegan grabbed the paper back.

“Did you not see the small print?” she asked. “It says no pets, parents or massive losers. Soooo, you should probably start making other plans. Got some stickers to collect?”

He shot me a look. I shot one back. Yes, I had told my friends, and no, I didn't care how much he hated me for it.

“Girls, please. It's getting embarrassing. First Saturday, now this. Surely you can find someone else to spend your time talking about?” He put his hand on Tegan's arm. She jerked it away. “Oh, and Tegan. Has no one told you a sharp tongue doesn't suit you? It
was
much softer on Saturday – when you had it in my mouth.”

Rage rushed through me, like a human radiator that had been turned up to ‘very hot' or whatever they get set too. That boy had SUCH a nerve. Lying in a message was one thing, trying to get away with it to our faces was another matter. Who did he think he was?!

But Tegan snapped first.

“The only thing YOU have in your mouth is a bunch of lies. So jog on and leave us alone.” She slammed her locker door shut, barging him into the middle of the corridor with her body. I friend swooned. I was so proud of how brave she always was, standing up for what's right, even in front of all his mean mates. The most I was managing was furious looks, and they sometimes got confused with the sort of face you might pull if you have trapped wind.

But Luke didn't get the hint (although is it a hint when you spell it out and shout it in someone's face?). He stepped back into my path and looked me straight in the eye.

“Look, Bella, as a
friend
, I'm just looking out for you. No one wants mates they can't trust. Do they, Tegan? Fit Rach? I'm sure you'll thank me one day.” He grabbed a flyer out of my hand and winked. “Even if I
have
to wait till prom to hear it. You know where I am if you need me.”

His uber-smarm burst my mouth open. How dare he patronize me? He wasn't my mother, or a teacher! Or even my sister on a bad day. I felt like the Incredible Hulk, just less green, and more cross.

“Well, as a
friend
let me tell you THIS. It's true. You WERE a TERRIBLE kisser, so
whoever
was in that pic, I feel nothing but sorry for them.” Gulp. Did I just say that out loud? I felt more shocked than Luke looked. People were staring. But my mouth was on a mission.

“Tegan would never snog you in a
million
years.” Hello, out of body experience. I swear I was hearing the words at the same time as everyone else, like it wasn't
my
brain making them. Auto-mouth continued.

“In fact, she calls you Puke.”

Luke bristled. One of his mates sniggered before getting elbowed in the ribs. But this time I didn't care. Messing with me was one thing, messing with my mates was another. “And if you think I'd believe YOU over HER, you're even more of an idiot than I thought.”

Had I finished? Mouth, tell me we've finished. But no. It had other ideas.

“And, and . . . and as for prom, the only thing I'll be saying to you is, ‘Have you met the fittest man in the
world?'
who incidentally, will be
my
date. That won't be you. Obviously.”

Luke was frozen to the spot. Guess he'd never seen this side of me before. And neither had I.

A cough came from behind me. I turned and realized we were now surrounded by a crowd. Luke noticed the same and instantly jerked back into jerk mode. Being yelled at by me was not a good look for anyone. I'm sure it even cringed-out Mumbles.

“As if
you
of all people will have a date. Have you seen yourself recently? Unless he has a thing for –” he stared at my head – “goat herders.”

Well at least I'd guessed the right insult for today's hair. Always one step ahead.

“Well, I do. And he's called Zac.” I turned to face everyone as if doing a tour in a museum, but the exhibit was my love life. Well, my hypothetical love life, but now wasn't the time for disclaimers. “I met him on holiday. He's six foot and he's in a band and we're seeing each other, and he may or may not like goat herders, I don't even know, and he's going to be at prom. With me. And he's the world's biggest FITTIE. And he smells great.”

Not the big finish I was hoping for, but oh well. But before anyone could react, a voice boomed through the hall, bouncing off the walls.

“
WHAT ON EARRRRTH IS GOING ON HERE?”

If I didn't want one teacher to hear me yelling about fitties, our art teacher Mr Lutas was it. He was the antithesis of anything fit. Except for his trousers, which were way-too-tight fit. But it was Mr Lutas that was now looming over both Luke and me, and he was fuming.

“Congrrratulations on prrroving you can't even manage adult behaviour for twenty minutes of a new terrrm.”

I threw Luke my best dirty look. This was all his fault. Typical.

“How verrry disappointing that you all just continue to live up to my verry low expectations.” Mr Lutas clicked his fingers. “Now get to class immediately. THE LOT OF YOU.”

I mumbled sorry, closing up my locker as the crowd disappeared even quicker than it had arrived. The last thing I wanted was trouble in prom term. You had to have enough prom points to be allowed to go and I didn't want Mr Lutas taking that away from me. Although at least then I wouldn't have to work out how on earth I was going to achieve the impossible: getting my big foot out of my mouth and proving Luke wrong by getting someone who had disappeared from my life to reappear at prom. As my date.

CHAPTER

TEN

The combo of Luke and Mr Lutas (do all evil things begin with L? No, lemurs) meant that we were so late for morning classes that we got held in over break. So not only did that mean no checking
PSSSST
for signs of Zac, it also meant my first chance to properly debrief with Tegan was over lunch.

Lunch was the same old routine: pick up Rach, pick up Tegan, get lunchboxes, secure decent lunch seat, chow down. I opened my lunchbox and was relieved that today's box of delights was cheddar, not lady-cheese sandwiches. We were going through a phase of bringing in kids' lunchboxes. Mine's a Peppa Pig one, which gives me major guilt whenever it contains a Peperami.

Tegan
was deep in thought, chewing on something healthy and weird like celery. “I was thinking – should the three of us go back to Black Bay? Do you reckon our mums would let us?”

I'd obviously sold it better than I should have done.

“Ueermmmm. . .” It was the best yes/no/not sure noise I could muster through sandwich munching.

“We might get some clues on Zac and be a bit nearer to getting him to prom?”

I love how me getting Zac to prom was now a team effort. But I didn't think heading back to Black Bay could be worth it if he wasn't there. He'd said he only went for his gran's birthday.

“Er . . . yeah . . . (chew) . . . maybe . . . (swallow) . . . Sorry, big bit of cheese there.” I swallowed again. “I guess we
could
look into it? Maybe a weekend? Next year? We could explain my future husband is on the line. . .?”

“Marriage isn't love, Bells. How many times do I have to tell you? OTPs are about the soul, not the surname.” Tegan was right, but her surname didn't create a lifetime of jokes about mackerel.

“Yeah, sorry, and I guess we are only one semi-snog into our relationship right now.” I slurped my Ribena wondering if there would ever be a time when we would
have
a more extensive relationship, like one full snog or above.

“So were Jay and Bey at one point and look where they are now.” Good old optimistic Rach. “We've all got to start somewhere.” She stared into the distance. “Although it probably helps if that start isn't exercising alone dressed as a cereal box.”

I shook my head in despair but cheered up as I spotted a friendly face walking into the canteen.

“Oi, Mikey!” I waved my arms big style, like I was bringing a plane into land. He grinned and walked over. “Long time no speak.”