Sunflowers (29 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Seventy Days in Auvers

25 May 1890

Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône

Ma petite
Rachel,

I spent three days in Paris and am now in Auvers. Seeing Theo, as well as making the acquaintance of Johanna and my little namesake, brought me much delight. Jo is sensible and cordial and charming, my nephew a treasure. Theo is well, although I found him paler than when I last saw him and with a racking cough. It has pestered him for many years but is worse, and his appetite is less than I would hope. I encouraged him to visit the physician again and proposed the whole family spend their upcoming holidays here to benefit from the country air. Theo insists that a visit to Holland is long overdue so the child may see his grandparents, but I insisted a shorter journey would be better.

In Theo’s apartment I had the opportunity to see my canvases from the beginning. So many that some are rolled and kept beneath the beds! Other of my paintings are being stored with Père Tanguy, who owns a color shop where I have long obtained paints and canvas. A bit of a
trou au punaises
, a bug-infested hole, and not entirely suitable. I brought four canvases from Saint-Rémy to keep me company and to show Dr. Gachet, but that is all I have room for at present. I reside in the attic of a friendly auberge across from the
mairie
, the city hall. It costs three francs fifty a night, more expensive than I would like, but such are things here. After some discussion, Theo agreed to maintain the 150 francs/month allowance.

Dr. Gachet seems an eccentric character with a nervous disposition. His face shows the lines of grief from his wife’s death some years ago, but any mention of painting brings a smile. He has an extensive collection, which he has already been good enough to show me: a very fine Pissarro, two fine flower pieces by Cézanne, among many others. He invited me to paint at his house Tuesday; he has a fine garden which will offer good effects, and I hope I can induce him to pose for a portrait.

When I asked about my illness, his response was that I should work boldly on and not think at all of what went wrong with me. He is a homeopathic doctor, knowledgable about tinctures and herbs, and said if I find the melancholy too much to bear he can lessen its intensity. But at the moment all is well, and I have no need of anything.

There is a great deal of color here. Middleclass country houses covered with flowers, more modern villas, and for me the prettiest of all, moss-covered thatched cottages which sadly grow more rare with the passage of time. It does not take much effort to imagine
une petite famille van Gogh
living in one of them, and I work boldly on (as Gachet says) with that vision planted firmly in my mind. I wait in eagerness for your letters, which will brighten my days and bring the South up to me. Here is the address:

V. van Gogh

chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie

Auvers-sur-Oise

(Seine-et-Oise)

With a kiss in thought,
Vincent

PS. I have heard nothing from the Ginoux regarding my furniture, this despite the fact I wrote them twice and made clear I shall repay any expenses. I may prevail upon you to visit Madame Ginoux and see about it.

28 May 1890

M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)

Mon cher
Vincent,

Françoise and I just returned from Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, where we took part in the yearly pilgrimage festival in honor of Saints Marie Jacobé and Marie Salomé. We traveled by diligence for five hours through the Camargue, along a desolate road that trails through marshes and sandy plains of grasses. Thousands of people filled the village for the festival, attending Mass then gathering on the beach as the statues of the saints were launched onto the sea in their little boat. I’ve never seen anything like it, the singing, the weeping, the hope in the eyes of the faithful. I lit candles in the church and prayed that the blessed ladies might touch you in Auvers and your healing continue. I send you a
carte postale
from the festival so that you may keep it in your room. Perhaps you think it superstition—or perhaps you don’t—but I figure, any help we can muster is good help.

Then what do I find when I return to Arles? A letter from you that fills me with joy! I’m so happy you’re finding Auvers a peaceful place, and feeling strong and well. It sounds like Dr. Gachet is confident in your recovery, which makes me wonder if the Maries are already listening.

At Saintes-Maries I walked to the beach in the middle of the night to stand alone with my feet in the sea. I looked up to the stars to think of you far away, my longing to be with you so strong that it was a pain within me. I feel it even still, and I count the days until we’ll stand together to watch the stars above Auvers and our own little mossy cottage.

Ever yours,
Rachel

5 June 1890

Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône

Ma petite
Rachel,

Your letter moved me near to tears, the thought of you bouncing in the diligence over that rough road so you could pray for me being more touching than I could bear. I placed the
carte postale
on my desk so I may think of you whenever I sit to write. My
Pietà
hangs in my room as well, so I have a trio of blessed ladies in Auvers, and one very dear girl back in Arles, to look after me. Which makes me a blessed man indeed.

Ideas for work come to me without stopping. I rise each morning around five and am in bed by nine. The people where I am staying are most kind, and I eat well of nourishing food.

I have become great friends with Dr. Gachet. Last week I painted two studies at his house, an aloe with marigolds and cypresses, then last Sunday some white roses, vines, and a white figure in it. I presented these to him to show that even if I cannot pay him in money for help he gives me, he can be compensated in pictures.

Sunday we dined with his son, about sixteen, and his daughter, a little younger than you. Dr. Gachet insists on having the housekeeper prepare elaborate four- and five-course dinners, although I tell him it is not necessary to go to such lengths. As I desired, I completed a portrait of the good doctor: the head with a white cap, the hands a light flesh tint, a blue frock coat and a cobalt blue background, leaning on a red table, on which are a yellow book and a foxglove plant with purple flowers. He was most pleased with it, and I think I will make a copy for him to keep.

Theo, Johanna, and the baby will spend a week of their holidays here before proceeding to Holland. Dr. Gachet visited Theo at his gallery to tell him I am entirely recovered, and to say he sees no reason why the attacks would return. I feel so calm and so much a master of my brush that I cannot help but believe him.

Two days ago I painted a picture I know you would like very much: a study of the village church, an effect in which the building appears to be violet-hued against a sky of a simple deep blue color, pure cobalt. The stained-glass windows appear as ultramarine blotches, and the roof is violet and partly orange. In the foreground some green plants in bloom, and sand with the pink glow of sunshine on it. This very old church sits on a hill above the town as if presiding over it, while above it still lie wheatfields on a plateau.

How I look forward to sharing this place with you,
ma petite!
The more I see Theo this summer, the easier it will be to broach the subject of our marriage with him. When the opportunity presents itself, I shall seize it.

With a kiss in thought,
Vincent

13 June 1890

Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône

Ma petite
Rachel,

Theo, Johanna, and my nephew came to Auvers this past Sunday for a luncheon at Dr. Gachet’s, and we spent a splendid afternoon. Dr. Gachet and his children got on well with Theo and Johanna as I knew they would, Theo having met the doctor before and Mademoiselle Gachet being old enough to be a good companion to Johanna. I introduced
le petit
to the animals in Dr. Gachet’s yard to his great amusement and mine as well. After luncheon we went for a long walk along the banks of the Oise, and Theo came to the auberge to look at my paintings.

I have done more studies of houses among the trees, a study of vineyards, and just yesterday a size 30 canvas of a landscape in the rain: fields as far as the eye can reach, all different kinds of green growth, a little carriage, and a train in the distance. Soon I hope to paint Mademoiselle Gachet, perhaps at her piano. I continue to feel strong and healthy, my mind more quiet than it has been in a long time.

I had a letter from Madame Ginoux. Monsieur Ginoux was seriously wounded by a bull when he was helping a friend unload animals from a wagon, which is why I had not heard sooner. Madame Ginoux assures me that my furniture will soon be on its way.

Take care, my girl, and I look forward to reading more of your news soon.

With a kiss in thought,
Vincent

16 June 1890

M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)

Dear Vincent,

How nice that you are able to enjoy these leisurely lunches and strengthen ties with the Gachet family. I imagine Dr. Gachet could prove quite useful with his art collection and Paris connections. Useful too that Theo and Johanna have made the acquaintance of the Gachets and are becoming friendly with them. Perhaps when they take their holidays in Auvers, Dr. Gachet and his daughter would be interested in hosting them. I don’t suppose you’ve taken any chances to speak privately with Theo about the future?

I am surprised you wish to paint Mademoiselle Gachet—I thought you didn’t care for
petites bourgeoises
and their fripperies. I suppose she has lovely manners and lovely clothes, and plays piano most charmingly as a well-brought-up young lady should? Presides over the tea table with elegance, dressed all in white? No doubt she can speak quite intelligently about art and painting, having grown up surrounded by her father’s collection. That will surely make for a stimulating afternoon, when the time comes for you to paint her.

Rachel

20 June 1890

Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône

My dear girl,

I do believe your impatience is getting the better of you. Theo and I have not had the opportunity to discuss things privately, but I assure you I am sowing the seeds.
Chérie
, was it not you who urged patience this time? Said we must not thumb our noses at Theo?

In Arles I imagine the wheat in the fields is gold and ripened as harvest time draws near, but in Auvers the harvest is several weeks away, and the wheat only begins to turn yellow.
Things must proceed in their own time
, or we risk everything. Do you think I am not also impatient? I lay in my attic room every night, looking for the moon out the window and thinking about how happy we will be
when the time comes
.

As for my painting Mademoiselle Gachet, do I detect a certain
rivalité féminine?
I am not sure whether to be amused or cross at the implications—or pleased, if one takes the view that jealousy is a barometer of affection.
Ma petite
, to paint portraits one must have models. Did I not paint Madame Roulin and Madame Ginoux? Madame Trabuc at the
maison de santé?
I have just finished a portrait of the daughter of the people with whom I am staying (in blue against a blue background), and I should like to find a country girl to pose for me among the wheat. They are models, only models all.

It will please Dr. Gachet for me to paint his daughter, and I will offer him the portrait in thanks for his friendship. It is not for me. If I remember correctly, I asked you to pose many times before you agreed, and I still have not had the pleasure of finishing a painting of you.

All this to ask you to trust me.

My work and health continue well. I have begun painting in a new format, canvases 40 inches long and only 20 inches high, which excites me. Already I have completed a study of the wheatfields, another of the chateau at sunset, and the third an undergrowth with two figures passing through a forest, a man and woman with arms linked. As I painted this new study, I assure you Mademoiselle Gachet was nowhere in my mind.

With a kiss in thought,
Vincent

26 June 1890

M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)

Mon cher
Vincent,

I suppose jealousy and impatience did carry me away, and for that I am sorry, but I cannot help it. I am five hundred miles away from you, and I worry more and more, every day, that something will go horribly wrong when we are so close to happiness. I do trust you, please don’t think otherwise, and I know you are doing what you can to plant the seeds in Theo’s mind before speaking with him outright. It’s just so hard, my dearest. It seems like it has been for far too long.