Summer Lovin (20 page)

Her twin chuckled. “You say all this like it's a bad thing. Now granted I wouldn't have chosen Sam's uncle as the man for you, and he's pretty much persona non grata around here right now, at least as far as Mom and Dad are concerned—”

“Jeez, help make this easier, why don't you?” Zoe punched the pillow on the far side of the bed.

“But none of those things matter if you love him,” her psychologist twin said.

“Whoa. Nobody said anything about love.” Except Ryan last night.

He hadn't said he loved her, but he'd mentioned possibilities. She'd pushed those words aside because they scared her.

Love?

No.

Everything inside Zoe resisted the notion. No matter how mesmerizing Ryan's brown eyes were, no matter how good he was with his hands, and no matter how excellent he felt buried deep inside her body, they weren't talking about love.
Not even if he was kind and decent and protective in the best possible way,
she thought.

“I don't trust in the idea, at least not for me. If Mom and Dad—two people who couldn't be better matched—argue, can you imagine the fights that would be in store for two people as different as Ryan and me?”

“I can imagine the sparks,” Ari said.

“Well sparks aren't enough. I certainly don't believe two such different people can make a relationship work.”

Ari snickered into the phone, leaving Zoe with the uneasy feeling her twin wasn't about to come down on her side.

“And why not?” Ari asked.

Zoe had a sneaking suspicion her sister was leading her down a tricky path, but she answered, anyway. “Well first, have you ever met anyone more unsettled than me?”

“Give me a break, Zoe. Up until recently, you had a steady job and a place to live. What's unsettled about that?”

Before last night, Zoe had never expressed her feelings about the life she'd chosen, but now she was discussing it for the second time within twenty-four hours. “Even I can face facts. I'm thirty and I still live at home with my parents. I quit my old job and I'm just starting up a new career. Chances are I'll be living off my savings for a while, especially after I move out.”

“You're moving out of Mom and Dad's?” Ari asked, obviously shocked by the news Zoe hadn't yet shared.

Perhaps because she hadn't even made a real effort to find an apartment of her own. “Eventually. When I find a place. Or even have time to look.” She spouted the excuses she'd been feeding herself for the last month, even before Ryan had complicated her life.

“The point is my life is at a crossroads and I told Ryan as much.”

“Hmmm. And what else did you tell Ryan?” her sister asked.

Zoe thought back to their conversation. “Just that I need to settle down and find myself before I can ever think about a serious relationship. Or something like that.”

“And you had this conversation with Ryan. A man with whom you claim there is no future.” Ari yawned, an obviously fake, forced sound, meant to let Zoe know she found her reasoning completely bogus. “If that's what you want to tell yourself, go ahead. And maybe you'll be lucky enough that Ryan will wait around until you decide you're ready.”

“And maybe Ima will fly,” Zoe said.

“Don't cause unnecessary trouble between yourself and Ryan. Let nature take its course,” Ari warned. “And while you're at it, don't go spouting accusations about Ryan's uncle. Not without proof.”

Zoe knew Ari wasn't finished with the subject of her and Ryan. No more than Zoe was finished with the topic of Uncle Russ. But she would be careful around the man.

Funny how well she and Ari knew one another's unspoken intentions. “Oh, that psychic twin connection,” Zoe said.

Like the time Zoe was seven and jumped out of a tree, breaking her leg. Ari had come running out of the house because she'd sensed Zoe was hurt.

“I do have a plan that doesn't involve me going off half-cocked. I'm going to start by talking to Ryan and broaching the subject of Sam's keys and his uncle's possible motives for wanting to see them. If he doesn't take it well, I'll back off and leave Ryan in peace, but I will look into those keys myself.”

Without warning, she had a flash of the day Uncle Russ had visited her home. “Ari, I just remembered something. Uncle Russ mentioned that the time when Faith ran away was a very chaotic period for the business. Something about truck hijackings,” she said, recalling the conversation. “Also Faith stole money from Uncle Russ. Can you ask Quinn to look into exactly what went down? The official version?”

“You got it. In the meantime, you be careful.” Ari's voice sobered. “Keep us posted down here and call if you want Connor or Quinn to take a trip to Boston. They're already in touch with the police there.”

“I will.”

“Love you,” Ari said.

“Back at you,” Zoe replied.

“You know you can test those three little words on your twin before trying them on Ryan.”

“Very funny.” Zoe hung up the phone and leaned back.

Her conversation with Ari had convinced her she was on to something when it came to Uncle Russ. She didn't have motive for him, but she had a gut feeling and Zoe trusted her instincts. Enough to make investigating Sam's keys a priority.

At least that puzzle she had some control over, while her emotions and future provided more of a mystery.

F
OR SOMEONE WHO HADN'T
slept well, Zoe awoke early, and she headed straight to the kitchen to brew some strong coffee. As she puttered around and set up the coffeemaker, she tried to be quiet so as not to wake Ryan and Sam.

Morning sunlight set Ryan's apartment aglow, highlighting the new-looking chrome appliances and dark wood cabinetry. Zoe loved his apartment, which had all the warmth of the man himself and the same amount of mystery. Like just what did he keep in the cabinet above the toaster oven, anyway? Glasses? Plates? Canned goods? And why did she care?

Because wondering about his kitchen helped take her mind off her real problem. How did she tell Ryan about her hunch that his only ally in his entire family might have an agenda where Sam was concerned? Better yet, how did she make him believe her with no proof to back up her claim? Even her twin had doubts.

Zoe wrapped her hand around her coffee cup and took a sip of the hot brew.

“Someone's up early,” Ryan said as he strode into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee. His hair was still messed from sleep and he wore only a pair of jeans slung low on his hips, zipped, but not buttoned.

“I couldn't sleep.”

And was it any wonder? Between her worries about Sam, her distrust of Uncle Russ and her need for Ryan, her head spun with too many thoughts and concerns. She couldn't turn to Ryan for comfort because, despite their night together, they both agreed it wasn't smart to share a bed again with Sam so close by. So for now it was hands off, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from him and the body she'd already learned so well.

He joined her at the table, straddling the chair from behind. “What's wrong besides all the obvious things?” he asked.

Somehow she managed to laugh. “Would you believe me if I said everything's fine?”

One side of his mouth lifted in a half grin. “No.”

“I miss you,” she said, her voice low and husky, her meaning obvious.

He reached out and toyed with the lapel of her robe, his fingers dipping below the thin fabric to tease her skin with soft circular caresses. “I miss you, too.”

She leaned forward. He followed until their foreheads touched and their lips were mere inches apart. She sensed his warmth and heat and smelled his musky, morning scent.

They remained connected that way for a long silent moment, so innocent and yet so very sensual. Her heart sped up in her chest and her pulse pounded in her throat.

Suddenly his lips brushed hers and lingered, until she tasted sweetness, longing and temptation.

“Talk to me,” he urged and sat back, before Sam could walk in and catch them.

She sighed, but knew he was right. Just as she knew she had no choice but to talk about what was on her mind. Drawing a deep breath, she dove right in. “Did you notice anything strange about your uncle's interest in Sam's necklace?”

His back and shoulders stiffened. His completely casual stance, and the sense of happiness she'd briefly sensed, fled. “He tried to make her feel welcome by buying her a gift.”

“A necklace.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “So?”

“He seemed very curious about the one she already wears,” Zoe said. So much for gently leading him to the subject. Well nobody had ever praised her for her tact or delicate way of phrasing things, she thought.

Ryan moved his head from side to side, stretching his suddenly tense muscles. In seconds flat, he'd gone from surprisingly relaxed considering the episode last night, to wound tight.

He just couldn't believe Zoe could accuse Uncle Russ of anything underhanded. “Those old keys are odd looking. Anyone in their right mind would ask about them,” he said, hating he had to defend his uncle to the woman he loved.

Loved?

He paused in shock. Long enough to think and let emotion wash over him. Long enough to realize he did love her. The feelings had been growing for a while, he now knew, building the more he got to know and admire her.

But he couldn't deal with that primal emotion right now, not when she was questioning the one stable thing in his family life.

Damn, why couldn't one thing in his life be easy right now?

“Sure, anyone might ask about the keys—once,” Zoe said, interrupting his thoughts. “He asked about them once and Sam answered. Then he bought her a necklace that she refused to take, but he didn't leave well enough alone. He pushed. He offered to put those keys away for safekeeping. It was like he wanted to get his hands on them.” Zoe pulled her robe tighter.

“Uncle Russ was being his usual solicitous, kind self.” Ryan rose and picked up his cold coffee and poured it into the sink. “You're reaching. I don't know what you have against Uncle Russ, but he has nothing but my best interest at heart. Which means he has Sam's best interest at heart too. God, he's the only one I can turn to.”

“I know.” Zoe came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “That's what makes this so hard.” She exhaled and he felt her breath warm against his back. “But Ryan, how do you explain what the guy said to you last night? That you should find the key to the mystery?”

“For God's sake, it's an expression!”

“It's too much of a coincidence,” she insisted.

He blinked, everything inside him rejecting the notion because it would rip apart the foundation of the only security he'd had. Uncle Russ, who'd come to all his graduation ceremonies, who'd never missed a birthday, who called him the son he never had.

“The last thing I want to do is upset you.” She hugged him tight. “But if I agree to put Uncle Russ and any agenda I might imagine aside, would you do something for me?”

“What?” he asked.

She urged him around until he faced her. “Just look into the keys. We'll talk to Sam, we'll get a good look at them and we'll see for ourselves if we can figure out what they lead to. How could that hurt anything?”

Ryan didn't buy her wide green-eyed stare for a minute. She wanted to find out if his uncle somehow had a vested interest in those keys. Still he had to admit, Zoe had gotten him curious and if his uncle was as innocent as he believed, why not see if they could figure out what Faith had used the keys for? Why she'd kept them and passed them on to her daughter.

“I think it could be a way for Sam to learn more about her mother,” he said, thinking Zoe's idea through.

Zoe nodded. “It's a long shot that we'll ever know the truth about her necklace, but at least we'll have looked into the last link to your sister.”

“I can live with that,” he told her.

She smiled, obviously happy with his agreement. At least one of them was. Now that she'd raised the specter of his uncle's odd behavior, her notion lingered in his mind. He only hoped Sam's keys held answers that put her suspicions about his uncle to rest.

 

J
UST AS
Z
OE HAD THOUGHT
, once they explained to Sam that the keys might provide more insight into her mother, she willingly handed them over to Zoe. All it took was a cursory examination for Zoe to discover the words
Wayham Bus Depot,
which it turned out was located in a small town about twenty minutes from Ryan's family home.

The big question was what to do with Sam, since neither Ryan nor Zoe wanted to take the teenager along and subject her to potential disappointment or upset if the keys turned out to be a dead end or something disturbing like a drug stash. There was also the fact that someone did want something from Sam and she couldn't be left alone for even a second.

Fate intervened in the form of Ryan's mother. To their surprise, she called to ask if she could spend time alone with Faith's daughter. Zoe's gut instinct was to rebel against the notion, but in her heart she understood that this woman was Sam's grandmother and any form of bonding was best for all involved, especially Sam. The teenager knew little about her mother's life growing up. After Ryan gave his mother a stern lecture, the older woman agreed to choose her words carefully when she spoke to Sam about her mother.

With luck, Vivian could help Sam feel a part of this family and make her feel more grounded when it came to her past.
With luck,
Zoe thought, still not completely trusting any members of the Baldwin family other than Ryan.

It took some convincing to get Sam to go back to the Baldwins' without Zoe and Ryan tagging along, but Ryan promised her she could pick her favorite food for dinner and then during the week go shopping at Baldwin's.

Zoe suspected it was the shopping bribe that did the trick, and they dropped Sam off with her grandmother along with strict orders: if asked, she was to say that Ryan and Zoe were off spending time together. Nothing more, not to anyone.

Ryan remained silent during the ride until Zoe couldn't take being frozen out anymore. “I'm sorry,” she said at last.

One hand on the wheel, he briefly turned toward her. “For?”

That was a good question, Zoe thought. For causing distrust and upheaval in his life? For not just handing Sam over like she was a possession?

“For accusing your uncle,” she said, addressing only one of the many issues between them.

He shrugged. “Just because he's been good to me doesn't mean he's the easiest person to know or like. I hope this little trip will convince you that his interest in Sam is genuine.”

But from his tight jaw and steely expression, she didn't believe him. She wondered if his internal turmoil had anything to do with the fear that perhaps she was on to something with his uncle, then tossed that notion aside. In his mind, blood ties ran deep, loyalty ran even deeper and his uncle had been his only friend in a conflicted upbringing.

“How much longer till we get there?” she asked, glancing at the dashboard clock.

“About ten minutes. We have time. So tell me something.”

She was happy to have conversation. “What do you want to know?”

“More about you. I know all about your family life, but I don't know that much about you.”

“I'm an open book.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Ha.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Just that you talk this nice game about openness and being yourself, yet I don't know much about you. Who are your friends outside of your family?”

She opened her mouth in surprise. “Are you insinuating I don't have friends?”

“I didn't meet any besides family while I stayed with you.”

“My work kept me very busy and away from home. I have agency friends I left behind and some I see for drinks every once in a while,” she said, feeling extremely defensive. “What about you? I haven't noticed a whole lot of messages from guys asking you to go to a Red Sox game or out for a beer. Or is it that you're too good for a cold brew?”

He burst out laughing. “Now that's the Zoe I love. Get defensive, throw it back in my face. I admit to not having much of a social life. Lawyers work long hours and we socialize with other attorneys. A quick drink with one of my partners before heading home or a date with someone if the mood strikes.”

A date.
“Anybody important in your life?” She couldn't help but ask, though she was shocked that as close as they'd been, neither had opened up much before now.

For someone who prided herself on her independence, she was appalled at how her palms grew damp and her stomach knotted as she waited for his reply.

He pulled off at the exit and stopped at a red light. Turning, he faced her. “No, Zoe. Nobody else important.”

She met his gaze. Heat and something much more intense passed between them until a car honked, breaking the moment. They glanced up to see the light had turned green and Ryan stepped on the gas.

She exhaled a long, slow breath.

“How about you? Anybody serious in
your
life?” he asked. “I assume by your family's reaction to your turning thirty and still being single that the answer is no, but a mystery woman like you could be hiding a secret or two.” His lips twitched in amusement.

She shook her head. “Nobody serious. In fact, my last relationship was brief and more a distraction from boredom than anything else.”

She and Marco, the guy who'd been assigned to guard her at the safe house had generated serious physical sparks and had helped pass some long, lonely hours by the end of her stay there. But nothing emotional had ever come of it. Nothing emotional ever did.

Until now,
she thought, staring at Ryan's satisfied expression and handsome profile. He caused butterflies to ripple around her insides, emotions she ought to peg as adolescent and silly, yet everything about her feelings for Ryan were completely adult in nature.

And way too serious.

He drummed his fingers on the wheel and her gaze fell to his strong hands and what she knew to be a deft touch capable of arousing inexplicable pleasure.