Summer Kisses (10 page)

“I won’t let anyone hold Ryan unless you give them permission first,” he said. “Ponies for Lexi. Great food. Fun people. Short and sweet.”

“Ponies!” Lexi shouted.

“Come on,” Sandy said to her daughter, “let’s go check on Ryan.”

Jill sighed as Sandy and Lexi disappeared into the other room.

“You won’t regret it,” Derrick promised. “Everyone is going to love you.”

“Well, I doubt that.”
How could they when she didn’t even like herself
?
She was such a pushover
.

“Are you kidding me?” His hand rested high on the doorframe above her head.

She found herself wishing she’d put on heels so she wouldn’t be forced to stare at the vee of his button-down shirt where bronzed skin and a feathering of dark hair drew her attention.

“You’ve got everything going for you,” he went on, killing her with kindness. “You’re kind, caring, and beautiful. What’s not to love?”

The man could charm a worker bee from its queen. She crooked her neck so she could look into his eyes. “Your nickname should be Charmer instead of Hollywood.”

“It was already taken.”

She smiled at his light-hearted arrogance. “A small family get-together?”

“Under a dozen.”

“No fanfare?”

“Over my dead body.”

“No balloons or extravagant gifts?”

“No way. Gift giving is overrated.”

She crossed her arms. “You’re just saying what you think I want to hear, aren’t you?”

His brows slanted. “I would never do that.”

“Okay,” she said, trying not to be amused by the man who was only here because of Ryan. “If it means that much to you, we’ll go.”

He grinned. “You’re a sweetheart.” Before she could shut the door he said, “One more thing—something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

She raised a questioning brow.

“The cute gray-haired candy striper at the hospital told me you had left in a hurry because you needed to plan
our
wedding.”

She laughed at the anxious expression on his face. “That was Sandy’s doing. She was hoping the candy striper would scare you away so we wouldn’t have to.”

Derrick frowned. “Your friend has a mean streak a mile wide, doesn’t she?”

“She’s had a tough life,” she said in a low voice so Sandy wouldn’t overhear, “but she has a big heart. Besides, you have nothing to worry about,” Jill added. “I’ll never marry. I have everything I need right here in this apartment.”

Six thirty the next morning Derrick walked out of his apartment wearing a T-shirt and shorts, heading for the gym. As he passed by Jill’s apartment he heard Ryan crying.

Poor Jill
. Every time he saw her she looked more exhausted than the last time. Too bad she was too stubborn to let him help her out while he had the time. In another six weeks he’d be on the training field every day. If he recalled correctly there was a Starbucks around the corner. He walked down the cement stairs, headed for the parking lot and climbed into his car.

Fifteen minutes later he stood in front of Jill’s apartment holding a nice warm Grande Mocha. He knocked three times and waited.

The door came open.

Jill stood on the other side, holding a fussy baby in her arms. Pale, expressionless, and wearing a gray sweat outfit with a trail of baby spit-up on the neckline, she looked like a walking zombie. Tangled hair escaped a clip at the back of her head. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and bloodshot. Ryan let out a wail almost as loud as the sirens he’d heard last night.

He held the cup of coffee towards her. “I got you a Mocha.”

She looked at his offering with longing. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

Her cell phone rang. The ringtone made a cricket noise. She turned and shuffled away, wearing outrageously fluffy slippers. She held Ryan in one arm and used her free hand to pick up her cell before her phone could play another round of chirping.

Derrick waited at the door. He knew she didn’t want his help, but her stubbornness was clearly going to get the best of her. She couldn’t exactly conduct business with a crying baby in one arm and the phone in the other. Without asking for permission, he stepped inside, shut the door behind him, and went to the kitchen. He set her coffee on the countertop and then took Ryan out of her grasp. Holding Ryan close to his chest, he rocked him. Ryan stopped crying.

He left Jill in the kitchen and headed for the living room. He didn’t bother glancing back to see if she was upset with him for coming inside. Ryan’s small body felt warm against his chest. He liked the way Ryan smelled—like baby powder and Jill. Judging from the one-sided conversation he was hearing, Jill’s phone call was not making her morning any better. With the phone pressed between her shoulder and her ear, she rifled through a stack of papers. Despite the baggy sweats she wore, he noticed she’d lost a significant amount of weight since Ryan was born. Too much weight, he thought, but with her hair askew and that small up-turned nose of hers she looked downright cute.

“Sandy and I made the chili that’s supposed to be featured on next month’s cover,” she said into the receiver. “It tastes bland—not good at all. I need you to make the chili again, using the exact same recipe as soon as possible.” Her voice was lined with panic. “Yes, in the next few hours. Follow the directions to a tee and then bring it to me for a taste test. If it tastes anything like the concoction we made last night we’re in trouble.” She nodded her head. “Yes. I know I’ve thrown a lot at you in the past week, but I’m counting on you, Chelsey. Okay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Jill clicked her cell shut and then leaned forward and let her forehead fall flat against the papers on the counter. She stayed that way for a good two minutes.

Derrick noticed her shoulders trembling. He stiffened. Was she crying? Looking around, he wondered what he should do. He had two sisters who rarely cried. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen his mother cry at all. Crying females made him nervous, made him feel awkward and helpless. Knowing he should comfort her, he inhaled and headed her way just as the fax machine beeped in the other room.

She must have heard it, too, because she was off and running before he could offer any sort of sympathy.
Saved by the beep
.

Ten minutes passed before Jill returned.

Derrick was sitting on the couch. Ryan was asleep in his arms.

Jill extended both arms toward him. “Okay, you can go. I’m ready to take my son now.”

A red nose and a slightly deranged look in her big green eyes convinced him not to question her authority. He handed Ryan over and then stood. Before she took two steps, Ryan was crying again. It wasn’t a hungry cry either, which he was proud to realize he already recognized. It was a long, high-pitched shriek that reached the core of his brain and made his teeth clench. Without a word spoken, Jill turned about and handed Ryan back to him. Jill’s head dropped, her chin hit her chest, and this time she cried in earnest, her shoulders moving in rhythm to her pitiful sobs.

With Ryan in one arm, he wrapped his other arm around Jill’s shoulder and pulled her in close, giving her no choice but to rest her head in the crook of his arm while he stroked her upper arm with the pad of his thumb. Before long, she relaxed and he only heard a couple of hiccups and a sniffle here and there.

Ryan wriggled in his other arm, but his son must have sensed now was not the time to fuss because he quickly settled down.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Jill said as she pulled away.

“I know exactly what’s wrong,” Derrick told her. “It sounds like you have a case of the ol’ baby blues.”

She raised a questioning brow, prompting him to gesture toward the book titled
A Mother’s Guide to Newborns
sitting on the coffee table. “I looked through it when you were in the other room taking care of business. It says new mothers are often overworked and deprived of sleep. It makes sense—little sleep together with all those hormones and emotions—excitement and joy one moment and then fear and anxiousness the next. It’s a wonder you moms survive this stage at all.”

She wiped her eyes. “Are you for real?”

He wasn’t sure how to answer the question, so he didn’t.

“Why aren’t you married?” she asked. Then she waved her hands in front of her as if erasing the question altogether. “Don’t get me wrong, I already know you’re far from perfect.”

Although he wasn’t sensitive when it came to name calling or character bashing, her statement did make him frown.

“Well, you did lie on your donor application and we’ve already determined that you can be pushy and overbearing,” she said between sniffles. “But you seem like an okay guy overall, so what’s the deal?” She hiccupped. “Were you married before? Do you have a fiancée waiting for you back at the Malibu home your brothers mentioned?” She plopped down in the cushiony chair facing the couch and lifted big fluffy pink slippers onto the ottoman. “Out with it. What’s really going on here?”

Holding Ryan close, Derrick took his time lowering himself to the edge of the couch, thinking about how he should answer the question. Under any other circumstance, he wouldn’t bother, but she was the mother of his son, a son he wanted to help raise. This was his chance to get to know Jill. He couldn’t blow it now. “I guess you could say I am married to football,” he said, knowing his reasoning might sound lame, but it was the truth. “I’m nearly thirty years old and so far my life has revolved around the game. Football gave me a chance to be close to my dad when he coached Pee Wee football.” Derrick took in a breath at the realization because it was the truth. With so many siblings, it wasn’t easy to get his father’s attention back then. “When some of my friends were getting into trouble in high school, football gave me a thrill like nothing else could. Playing in college and then in the NFL ended up being the icing on the cake. And,” he added thoughtfully, “I guess football has kept me busy, too busy to think about much else.”

She crossed her ankles. “Lots of famous football players have families.”

“True,” he said. “To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel if I found you and you were pregnant. But the moment I saw you standing behind the officer—” He looked down at Ryan. His eyes were open and he was staring at him, seemingly mesmerized. Derrick brushed his finger against the palm of Ryan’s tiny hand. “The moment I realized you might be carrying a child that was a part of me…I felt something I’ve never felt before.” He paused as he tried to formulate the words so he could better explain. “Let me put it this way—when I’m playing in a big game and I scramble around guys twice my size and then set and throw the ball across the field with pin-point accuracy, it’s like drinking a glass of cold fresh water after a day in the hot desert. It’s heaven. It’s indescribable.” Derrick marveled at Ryan’s small fingers wrapped around his finger. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that the moment I laid eyes on Ryan in the hospital I felt that same feeling—only it was different because the euphoric feeling didn’t go away after the crowd stopped cheering, so to speak. Holding Ryan and spending a little time with him, knowing he’s a part of me, has done something to me. It has made me think differently about life.”

He lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug.

~~~

Jill felt all gushy and wishy-washy inside. Derrick’s moving speech had left her with a tight feeling in her chest. She laid her head back against her favorite chair and said, “I think I know what you mean.”

He looked relieved. “You do?”

She nodded. “Having Ryan has changed me too.” She didn’t want to say much more than that, didn’t want Derrick to know she didn’t feel a connection to Ryan yet, or that most of her thoughts these past few days were filled with doubt and fear. Her parents had always made her feel like second best, like she didn’t count. She didn’t know what it was like to be a part of a big loving family, but she knew that’s what she wanted for her and Ryan. The truth was, before Ryan was born, she’d planned on having at least two more children, which is why she’d bought and stored enough of Derrick Baylor’s semen to start a football team of her own. But nobody, including Derrick, needed to know that.

“Let me help you out,” he said after a quiet moment passed between them. “Until training begins, I have nothing better to do with my time.”

She wanted to tell him no, but nothing came out of her mouth. Every muscle in her body felt weak with exhaustion.

“Since I don’t want to be pushy and overbearing I won’t insist, but I think a shower and a long nap would do you wonders.”

He held her gaze for a long moment, long enough to make her wonder why she had allowed him into her apartment in the first place. The man was gorgeous to look at and he was nice, too. She looked like hell while he looked like he was ready for a photo shoot at
GQ
.

“Just a thought,” he added. “It’s your call.”

She stood and looked toward her bedroom before looking back at him. She knew she should ask him to leave, but a shower and a nap sounded too good to pass up. “You really wouldn’t mind?”

He shook his head. “I’m here to help. You can trust me.”

~~~

Thomas stood on one side of the mist-filled room and Derrick Baylor stood on the other. Thomas reached out a hand to her while Derrick merely winked. Thomas wore a perfectly fitted suit while Derrick wore slacks, a button-down shirt, and a killer smile.

Jill didn’t know which way to turn. Her heart raced as she tried to make a decision, but then Ryan began to cry.

Her eyes shot open and she bolted upward in bed.

She looked about, glad to see that neither man was hovering over her.
Thank God
. She put a hand on her chest above her pounding heart. What the heck was Derrick Baylor doing in her dream? Seeing Thomas made sense since he’d been in most of her dreams since he left her at the church eighteen months ago. But Derrick?

Laughter from the kitchen floated in under the door and to her bed. It sounded like a party out there. She pushed the comforter to the side, slid both legs over the edge of the mattress and wriggled her feet into the slippers on the floor.