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Authors: Susan Mallery

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“Do you think there’s something wrong with my mother?” he asked. “Some kind of dementia?”

Heidi’s instinctive response was to laugh, but she could tell Rafe was serious.

“May is one of the most lucid people I know. There’s nothing wrong with her.”

“She bought an elephant.” He swore and ran his fingers through his hair. “Name one normal person who doesn’t work for the circus who does that.”

“She said she wanted the ranch to be a place for old animals to retire. We assumed she meant llamas and sheep. Obviously, she had more in mind.”

“What’s next?”

“I don’t think there’s anything else as surprising as an elephant. Seriously, would a zebra shock you now?”

“Not really.”

“So, she’s peaked. That’s good.” She tilted her head. “I swear, she’s fine. It’s not what you would have done with the money, but then, you would never have bought the ranch.”

She thought about what May had said that afternoon. “I’m sorry about the condo. Was it nice?”

“I thought so. Two bedrooms, two and a half baths, twenty-five hundred square feet, with a killer view.”

“You take good care of her. I’m sure she appreciates that.”

He shrugged. “I started early. That kind of thing never goes away.”

Meaning, he would be taking care of his mother the rest of her life. That was nice, Heidi thought. Comforting to know Rafe was consistent. In so many ways, he was a good man, so why was he planning to develop her land without even talking to her?

She wanted to ask, to explain that was why she’d done the cave paintings, but what had been done couldn’t be undone, and talking about it wouldn’t change that.

“I’m sorry,” she said instead.

“Me, too.”

She doubted they were apologizing for the same thing, but that was okay.

“My mother told me that elephants need companionship.”

Heidi winced. “So she’s buying another elephant?”

“No. She wants to try some of the animals already here, to see who the elephant bonds with. She wondered if you would mind if she introduced Athena to the elephant.”

“Does the elephant have a name?”

He drew in a slow breath, his expression changing to that of a man about to walk the plank. “Priscilla.”

Heidi pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. “Seriously?”

“Do you think I could make that up?”

She felt the laughter building inside her and finally gave in. She laughed until she had to collapse back on the bed, where she struggled to catch her breath.

“Priscilla, the elephant? I love that. May might have bought her based on the name alone.”

“She said she bought her because she looked sad in her pictures.”

Heidi wiped away tears. “Sure. Priscilla can meet Athena. Or any of the goats.” She chuckled. “Your mom is the best. I really like her.”

Rafe moved without warning. One second he was sitting in the chair by the window, the next he was crossing the room and reaching for her.

She wasn’t sure who got there first, but then she was in his arms and it didn’t matter. His mouth settled on hers as he kissed her deeply.

His lips pressed against hers, claiming her with the hunger of a man who had been without too long. His need fueled hers, and she dove into the liquid desire washing through her. She parted her lips for him, then met his tongue with eager thrusts of her own.

He lowered her to the bed, stretching out next to her. She shifted closer, wanting to feel all of his body. Their hands began to explore. She traced his arm, then shifted to his shoulders. Thick muscles moved under her fingers.

He rolled her onto her back and stared down at her. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Glen always told me never to believe what a man says when he has an erection.”

Rafe gave her a slow, sexy smile. “Then I’ll tell you again in the morning.”

“Maybe I’ll believe you in the morning.”

“What do you believe now?”

“That you want me.”

“It’s a good start,” he murmured, before lightly kissing his way down her jaw to her neck.

The warmth of his mouth created mini-explosions of fireworks along her sensitized skin. She felt constricted by her clothing and hungry for what would come next. She wanted more than the delicate dance of arousal. She wanted him in her, riding her, taking her hard and fast until she had no choice but to lose control. She wanted to be swept away.

Deciding that a direct, if nonverbal, message was best, she reached between them and unfastened his belt. He lifted his head and stared at her.

“You’re telling me to move it along?”

“I’m suggesting you go get condoms and return to me naked.”

“A woman with a plan. I respect that.”

He gave her one more quick kiss and left her room. In the time it took her to pull back her covers, fluff the pillows and reach for the hem of her T-shirt, he was back.

He’d removed his boots and socks, and his shirt was open, as were his jeans.

A man who listens, she thought happily, walking toward him. A rare and precious find.

She took the small box of condoms from him and dropped it on the nightstand, then slowly drew off her T-shirt. With his gaze locked on hers, she stepped out of her jeans. A muscle twitched in his jaw. His hands curled into fists and his erection flexed against his briefs.

Heidi didn’t consider herself especially pretty or sexy. She was a fairly average woman. But at this moment, with Rafe’s breathing getting more rapid and his eyes dilating, she felt like the most sexual creature on the planet.

She reached behind herself for the hooks on her bra, but was careful to keep her arms tightly at her side, so it didn’t fall. When the hooks were undone, she grabbed the center of her bra and gave a little tug, exposing more of her breasts, but not all. His breath hissed.

She didn’t have a plan for the rest of her striptease, but it turned out not to matter. Before she could even toss the bra away, he’d reached for her. He ripped the bra from her fingers, lowered his head and drew her left nipple into his mouth. He licked and sucked like a desperate man. He teased her other breast with his fingers, and used his free hand to squeeze her butt. The sensual assault had her arching against him, an act that brought her crotch in contact with his groin.

Soft met hard. Her hunger exploded and she felt herself spiraling out of control. She put her hand on his chin to raise his head, then kissed him. As she plunged her tongue into his mouth, she pressed her hand against his belly. She moved lower, sliding under his briefs, then rubbed the impressive length of him. She circled the tip of him, feeling the soft skin sheathing the flexing strength below.

Touching him like this, intimately, aroused her. She felt her blood pounding with every heartbeat. Between her legs, she was already swollen and aching. Foreplay was all fine and good, but right now she wanted more. She wanted him.

“Rafe,” she breathed, and nipped his lower lip.

Apparently it was the signal he’d been waiting for. Without warning, he swept her up in his arms and lowered her onto the mattress. He ripped off her panties, jerked down his jeans, taking his briefs with them, and settled between her thighs on the bed.

He bent down, as if to kiss her intimately. She put her hands on his shoulders to stop him.

“I want you inside me,” she pleaded. “Just do that. Please.”

Indecision darkened his eyes. She appreciated his concern about getting her over the top. Another excellent quality in a man.

“I’m ready,” she whispered. “Trust me.”

He straightened and grabbed a condom. When he’d put it on, she reached between them and guided him inside.

He filled her with a slow, steady thrust. She arched toward him, taking all of him, feeling her body shudder with pleasure as nerve endings quivered. This was what she wanted, she thought, as she sucked in air. What she needed.

She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Don’t hold back.” She wrapped her legs around his hips for emphasis. “Please.”

He braced himself on either side of her. She rested her hands on his shoulders and gave a little pulse to urge him on.

He withdrew, only to push in again. He went deep, moving a little faster than the time before. The action was repeated. She let her eyes sink closed as she lost herself in the sensations of the rhythm of their lovemaking.

With each thrust, she felt an answering throb low in her belly. Muscles tensed. She moved with him, pulling him closer, arching her back as she absorbed all he offered. In and out, their sensual dance continued. Their breathing increased. Her skin grew more sensitized. Every cell in her body focused on that point of contact, on the feel of him. Fiction and fantasy. The primal act of joining.

Faster and faster until she was gasping, straining. Her muscles began to quiver from the tension and then they released.

Her orgasm began in midthrust. Rafe pushed into her all the way, carrying her along. She clamped down on him, massaging him with her release, wanting this to never stop. She shook and cried out, and then his groan joined hers as he shuddered. He moved in her until she was still, then he turned them both and sank onto the bed, facing her.

Slowly she opened her eyes to find him watching her. She touched his face, feeling the stubble, and then ran her fingers down his arm.

“What am I going to do with you?” he asked softly.

“A question for the ages.”

He leaned in and kissed her. “Mind if I stay the night?”

“Not at all.”

His mouth curved up in a smile. “You’re my kind of girl.”

Words that should have made her happy. The problem was, when it came to Rafe, she wanted more. She wanted to be everything to him. She wanted him to love her.

All wishing after the moon got a person was a pain in the neck. She’d heard that a lot when she was growing up. So, maybe tonight she would simply dream about the possibilities and leave the future to sort itself out.

* * *

R
AFE
WOKE
SOMETIME
BEFORE
dawn to the sound of trucks rumbling into the yard. He realized several things at once. He was naked, he was in Heidi’s bed and he had an erection. The facts were equally interesting to him, especially if he could take advantage of all of them at the same time. Unfortunately, the noise from outside seemed more pressing.

Heidi sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What is that?”

“I was about to find out.”

He got out of bed and pulled on his jeans, then crossed to the window.

The faintest sliver of light glowed in the east. The night was clear and probably would have been still, except for the sound of trucks and a
beep-beep-beep
as one of them backed up to make room for the rest.

Heidi joined him, tightening a robe around herself. She stared at the large truck, then grinned.

“They’re here!”

“Who? Or what?”

She gave him a quick hug, then ran to collect her clothes. “The carnival!”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

H
EIDI
BURST
OUT
THE
BACK
DOOR
of the house and down the steps, into the arms of her friends. She was literally squeezed from all sides, hugged and passed on to the next person, not exactly sure who was holding her close, but feeling safe and cared for every second.

“Look at you. Still so pretty.”

“Are you taller? Aren’t you too old to be getting taller?”

“I’ve missed you, Heidi.”

“How do you like living like a townie? Ready to come back to the carnival?”

The last question came from Glen’s friend Harvey, who held on a little longer than everyone else.

“You’re good?” she asked the old man.

He nodded. “Got a checkup just last week. The cancer’s gone.”

News that made her current troubles seem insignificant by comparison.

The back door opened again and Glen came out, trailed by a nervous-looking May.

“My friends and family,” Glen said, holding open his arms. He paused, then motioned for May to join him. “You probably won’t believe this, but I think I’ve found the one.”

“Took you long enough,” Harvey yelled.

Glen chuckled. “Everyone, this is May Stryker. May, my family.”

Heidi crossed her arms over her chest and shivered in the cool morning air. Not that she was interested in going inside. Watching the reunion was nearly as fun as being a part of it.

Madam Zoltan, otherwise known as Rita, joined her. “It’s good to see you.”

Heidi hugged her. “I’m so happy you’re here. I’ve missed you.”

“Not enough to come back and join us.”

“I like living in one place.”

Rita, formerly a natural redhead, arched her penciled, auburn brows. “You’ve become one of them.”

“Not really, but I do like the stability. I always wanted a home that didn’t have wheels.”

“Now you have it.”

Heidi hoped that was true. After all, the case hadn’t been decided yet, and the judge could rule against her. But, thanks to her increase in sales, her bank balance was steadily climbing. If the caves could be declared sacred Máa-zib land, that would help, too.

Rita linked arms with her. “So who’s the guy?”

Heidi followed her gaze and saw Rafe had come out of the house. He stood on the porch, all tall and sexy in his jeans and shirt. She found herself wanting to walk over to him and introduce him as someone important to her.

“He’s May’s son. He’s staying here for a while.” Heidi thought about the circumstances. “It’s complicated.”

“The best ones usually are.” Rita looked at her. “Is it serious?”

“Not for him,” Heidi said lightly, and forced a smile. “Wish I could say the same.”

Her friend squeezed her arm. “Want me to read his fortune and tell him he’s going to wake up as a frog one morning?”

“While I would enjoy that, I’m not sure he would believe you.”

Rita smiled at her. “Too bad. I do love the believers.”

“How long are you in town? I know the festival runs through the weekend.”

“Just four days. This is a short stop for us. We’ll be on our way Tuesday morning.”

“Then I’d better get my visiting done in a hurry,” Heidi teased.

Rita pointed to where the goats had collected by the fence. They were watching everything with interest. “Look at these wonderful girls! Are you going to introduce me?”

“Sure. I’ll even let you milk one if you want.”

“Don’t think I’m doing your chores for you, missy. I got tricked into that enough when you were young.” Rita laughed.

“Would I do that?”

“In a heartbeat.”

* * *

W
HAT
R
AFE
KNEW
ABOUT
the workings of a carnival could fill a teacup and still have room left over for plenty of cream. Given that, he wasn’t sure how he’d been roped into assisting with the setup. But here he was, in the middle of town, helping a bunch of guys he didn’t know unload equipment and pitch tents.

The rides of the carnival were set up in the park’s parking lot. He knew enough about building to have figured out why. The ground was level and the asphalt provided support. There were a dozen or so rides, including an impressive Ferris wheel. The booth games, or whatever they were called, were being placed along the main street of town. Food vendors were setting up on the other side, which meant plenty of foot traffic for everyone.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?”

He looked up from connecting bolts to find Heidi watching him. At the sight of her, his gut tightened and heat coiled a little farther south.

“I can tighten a bolt.”

“Just make sure you do so with the understanding you’re now working in the time-honored tradition of bringing fun to millions of people everywhere.”

He stood and moved so close that she had to lean her head back to still meet his gaze. “Is there a secret handshake or a manual I should read? A code of ethics?”

“There’s always a code of ethics. I’m not sure you’d follow them.”

“I’m a very honorable guy.”

She snorted.

“Hey,” he protested. “I am.”

“We’ll see.” She tapped the side of the stand. “Do you know what this is going to be?”

“No.”

“It’s the dart game. Balloons are pinned to a board. You throw a dart and try to puncture a balloon.”

“If I win?”

“You get a very fancy stuffed animal and bragging rights.”

“Seems like a fair trade.”

Her green eyes sparkled with laughter. He liked how she smiled, and she seemed happy and excited to have the carnival in town.

“How come you’re not introducing me to your friends?”

She took a step back. “What are you talking about? You’ve met nearly everyone.”

“Sure. Glen showed me around. Are you afraid of what people will think?”

“No. It’s not that. The carnival is made up of a very close group of people. There are no secrets. Gossip runs rampant. If I were to introduce you, there would be a lot of questions and even more assumptions. I didn’t think you’d be comfortable with that.”

“About last night,” he said, lowering his voice.

She shook her head. “I’m a big girl, Rafe. I wanted to. There was no seduction involved. You have nothing to feel bad about.”

“I don’t feel bad. But I do want to be sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. Why don’t we talk about how you’re feeling?”

“I’m a guy. Articulating my feelings isn’t in my genetic makeup.”

“Rafe? There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Rafe turned and saw a tall, slender, well-dressed blonde walking toward him. If there’d been a wall nearby, he would’ve banged his head against it.

“Hello, Nina,” he said instead.

His matchmaker put her hands on her hips. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I didn’t have anything more to say.”

“But I did.” Nina smiled at Heidi. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Nina Blanchard, Rafe’s matchmaker.”

“Heidi Simpson,” Heidi told her. “It’s so nice to meet you. I don’t think I knew you were coming to Fool’s Gold.”

“I didn’t know, either,” Rafe said, not sure why Nina had shown up, but knowing the reason wasn’t going to be a good one for him.

“It was an impulsive decision,” Nina admitted. She smiled at Heidi. “Rafe is being very difficult.”

“I’m not even surprised,” Heidi told her. “Rafe is a really stubborn guy. If you want him to pay attention, you’re going to have to take charge.”

“Hey!” Rafe stepped between them. “Maybe we should all stop talking about me.”

Heidi shrugged. “I thought you liked being the center of attention.”

“You thought wrong.” He took Nina by the arm. “Let’s go get coffee.” He glanced at Heidi. “I’ll deal with you later.”

She looked unrepentant and a little smug as she smiled. “If you think you’re up to it.”

He took Nina to the Starbucks on the corner, bought her a nonfat latte, then they sat outside at a shaded table.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, when she’d added her artificial sweetener and stirred her drink.

“I told you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I said I was done with your services. I’ll pay you whatever is owed, but I don’t want you getting me any more dates.”

“Because of Heidi?”

“What? No. Because of a lot of things.”

Nina didn’t look convinced.

Back in her office, he’d thought she was in her early forties. But out in the bright sunlight, he could see more lines around her eyes and pegged her at a few years older. Not that her age made any difference. She was still a pain in his ass.

“I said I’d find you a wife, and I will.”

“I don’t want to find a wife right now.”

“Because of Heidi.”

He sighed. “Didn’t I already say no to that?”

“I don’t believe you. I saw how you were looking at her.” She leaned close. “Have you two had sex?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Which means yes. Oh, Rafe, I meet a lot of interesting people in my business. You’re not the kind of man who needs a matchmaker, but you wanted one.”

“I made a mistake once. I don’t want to make another mistake.”

“By finding the perfect wife.”

“I’m not interested in love.” Mostly because he didn’t believe in it.

What he’d had with his first wife had faded away. Shane and his first wife had been crazy in love, and she’d cheated on him every chance she got. If love existed, it did so in a world of pain and betrayal. Better to find someone he could be friends with. Someone who wanted what he wanted and shared his goals and values. Maybe that wasn’t romantic, but it made sense to him.

“You’re afraid,” Nina told him firmly. “You’re afraid of falling in love for real this time, because you don’t know what it will do to you.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he told her. “You don’t know that much about me.”

“I know enough. I know you were the one who took care of your family when your dad died, even though you were, what, eight or nine?”

His past had been written about in the press a few times. He supposed Nina was thorough and had done her research. “I’m not driven by something I saw as a kid,” he said firmly.

“Maybe not, but you’re influenced by it. You saw what happened to your mom, and you filed that information away. When it was your turn, you picked what you thought was the perfect wife. You went through the motions, dated, got married. I would guess you didn’t love her, though. You weren’t willing to risk those intense feelings.”

“Thanks for stopping by,” he said, turning away.

She stepped in front of him. “Let me guess. About the time you met your first wife, someone close to you also got involved. But his or her relationship was different. Intense, wild. What they had scared you, so you went in the other direction.”

He refused to speak, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Shane. Nina was right. Shane had met Rachel about a year before he, Rafe, got married. They’d been passionate lovers from the first day. Shane had talked about being swept away by passion, how Rachel was everything to him. Rafe had tried to warn his brother to be careful, but Shane had refused to listen.

Rafe told himself Nina was guessing. She’d been in the business a long time and had picked up a few tricks. This was one of them. Maybe she had a point. Maybe he had been too cautious the first time around. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make a reasonably well thought-out relationship work.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be sure,” he said at last.

She gave him a sad, knowing smile. “You’re wrong. Love isn’t about being sure. Love is about risking it all. The only way to be truly in love is to give with your whole heart. To put it out there and be vulnerable. To offer all you have without knowing if it will be enough. Love is standing naked in front of the world and announcing, ‘This is who I am,’ then waiting to be accepted or not.”

“Then I’m not interested.”

“It’s worth it,” Nina told him. “I promise you that. If you find the right person, it’s amazing. Notice I’m not saying ‘the one.’ I don’t believe there’s just one person for each of us. There are many, and sometimes we can find that magic a second or third time. You never found it at all.”

“I don’t need that in my life.”

“Yes, you do. At least once, Rafe. Risk your heart.”

He shook his head. “Are we done here?”

“No, but you can go. I’m now a woman on a mission. I want to see you happily married.”

He held in a groan. “This I don’t need right now.”

“That’s okay. I can wait.”

* * *

B
Y
EARLY
AFTERNOON
, R
AFE
was ready to run screaming into the mountains around Fool’s Gold. He’d managed to escape from Nina, only to continue setting up for the carnival. The dart game he’d started to put together required him blowing up hundreds of balloons. The tall, skinny guy who had introduced himself as Ham had shown him three empty, massive cardboard boxes and said they had to be filled with balloons. Then he’d pointed to a box of balloons and an air compressor. He’d slapped Rafe on the back and disappeared. Rafe sensed he’d been had.

Still, he went to work, blowing up the balloons, tying them off, then dropping them into the boxes. Late morning turned into early afternoon. The sun rose higher in the sky, the day warmed and the sidewalks around him grew crowded.

By three, his fingers were cramping from the twisting motion. Give him a ten-foot fence line or a herd of “feral” cattle any day, he thought. At least that was work he enjoyed. And it was solitary. Because along with the bottomless box of balloons, he’d had a long string of visitors.

Harvey of the recently cured cancer had stopped by to talk about his good health and how Glen’s generosity had literally saved his life. When Rafe had pointed out that the money had come from his mother and Glen had lied to get it, Harvey had been unimpressed. He’d done ten minutes on the state of health care in this country, recounted two funny stories about Glen and had told him that everyone was watching him, before drifting away.

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