Sugar Springs (36 page)

“Oh, hell.” Cody set her down temporarily, but only to reach to the bottom of her skirt and shove it up. He then scooped her back up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He shot a look at the kitchen table as he grew harder. “Not sure that table will hold us,” he muttered.

“Take me against the wall if you want,” she whispered. “Just take me soon.”

He turned to the wall.

Lee Ann twirled the waterlogged spaghetti around the tines of the fork and looked across the round pedestal table to Cody. He seemed about as impressed with the pasta as she was. She picked up the garlic bread.

“This is really good bread.” She smiled sweetly when Cody narrowed his gaze on her.

“I didn’t know noodles continued soaking up water if you didn’t drain them soon enough,” he complained. “I wanted to cook you a nice meal.”

Lee Ann reached over and put her hand on the back of his. “You gave me something else even better, if that helps.”

And he had. The round of lovemaking had been fast but powerful. Once they’d managed to free Cody from his jeans, he had in fact taken her against the wall. Then they’d showered, and he’d taken her against another wall.

After too many days without him, it was exactly what she’d been ready for, even if she had practically had to talk him into it.

Cody sighed and tossed down his fork. “That’s it. Put your clothes back on. We’re going out to eat.”

“Out?” She hated to sound too excited, but the spaghetti was deplorable. “Well, okay. If you insist.”

A hot smile covered his face and zapped the strength in her spine. Cody rose, snatched her skirt off the floor and tossed it to her. “Don’t be cute or I’ll make you pay for dinner.”

“Yes, sir! Whatever you say.”

His smile grew even wider with her words. “I like it when you talk like that. I could get used to it.”

Lee Ann slid the skirt over her hips, then found her shirt and put it on as well. “Keep me a happy woman, Dalton, and you might have the opportunity to get used to it.”

She’d meant it as a tease, but as the words left her mouth, she couldn’t help but wonder what went through his mind when he thought about them and anything long-term. Did he really plan to come back after Florida?

Too many dreams were getting swept up in her mind, confusing her reality with what she wanted it to be. She had to know where they stood before she went much further. Otherwise she’d find herself heading down a path she’d ignored since high school, and she wasn’t sure there would be a recovery from that one.

“What are we doing, Cody?” she asked. Her tone clued him in that the fun and games had come to an end.

He paused in the act of pulling on his shoes and looked over at her, then straightened to his full height. “I wanted to talk about that tonight, too.”

A huge weight lifted from her shoulders. Good. They were on the same wavelength. That always made things better.

“I had an idea a few days ago,” he started before she could say anything else. “One I think you’re going to like. I already made a call to see if it would be possible and it is. They’re just waiting for the go-ahead now.”

Her breath caught when he’d said his idea was one he thought she’d like. And he’d already taken action to make it happen? Her breathing started up again, coming out in short bursts. “Is it not too late to get out of the contract? I wouldn’t
want you to leave someone in the lurch, like the previous guy Keri had lined up did to her.”

Her words had grown slower as she’d caught sight of the look on his face. That was not what he’d been about to say. Dread curled in her gut.

“If not that,” she started, narrowing her gaze on him, “then what?”

Cody crossed the room to where she stood in front of the door and took her hands in his. “I can extend my contract in Florida another two months, babe. I don’t want to make trips back and forth all that time—I don’t want any of us to. I want all of you to come with me instead.”

Shock had her mouth hanging open before she got herself under control. “Why in the world would you extend it?”

“So the girls don’t have to change schools in three months. Five months would keep them there through the semester. I confirmed this with the county down there.”

“But you’re okay with them changing schools now?”

“Wouldn’t it be better to do it now than to wait for January or February? Plus, I want them to understand that what we’re doing here”—he moved his hand back and forth between them—“it’s not just casual. I want to set a good example for them.”

She held up a hand, hoping to stall the words coming out of his mouth while her brain worked to catch up. He wanted her to uproot the girls—her—and just move to Florida with him?

“I want to marry you, Lee.” He spoke quickly, as if realizing that she wasn’t over the moon with his idea. “I want to be with you forever.”

“Just not here?”

“No...” He cut off his words and tried again. “That’s not what I meant. I think you’d like it in Florida. I’ve been there
before, and there are so many beautiful places to explore along the coast. You could concentrate on your photography while the girls would get a chance to see another part of the country. We would be happy. I’m sure of it.”

She shook her head at him, baffled. “Why do you think we’d like Florida better than we do here? And what are you thinking we’ll do at the end of the five months?”

“Okay, wait.” He held up his hand, and she had the urge to smack it out of her sight. He was ruining everything. “Let’s slow down, and I’ll start from the top.”

“I don’t think I want you to,” she said. “I already know the answer. I can’t take my girls out of their school, their home. Why would I do that to them?”

A look passed over his face that would have made her feel bad if she weren’t already so ticked off. “You would do that for me. And you need to keep in mind they aren’t just your girls. I have a say, too.”

“Not in this you don’t.”

Dark eyebrows lifted, and she snapped her mouth shut. Was he threatening legal action if she didn’t comply with his wishes? He’d better not be!

“Do not stand there and imply you could swoop in and take them from me.”

“That is not what I’m saying.” His voice had risen to match hers. “I’ve never hinted at that, and I have no intention of it. They wouldn’t be the same if they didn’t have you. There’s no way I’d do that to them.”

“Right. But you’d uproot them in a heartbeat. And then what? You’d want us all to follow you around every few months?”

“I’d want you to marry me and for the two of us to figure out how it can work. We have five months to get there.”

“I don’t need five months,” she stated flatly.

At her words, his face grew taut. “Just like that? You’re going to demand control and just shut down if you don’t get your way?” He gave a harsh laugh. “You haven’t changed at all.”

“What are you talking about?” she said, spitting out the words.

“I’m talking about the fact you never give credence to anyone else’s ideas but your own. You come up with something and barge forward without so much as a moment’s consideration for what others involved might think.”

“Is that so? And when exactly are you suggesting I’ve done this before?” She was yelling now, and so was he.

“When you made plans for us in high school! I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, and you already had me mapped out to vet school and a marriage. I’m sure there were kids in there somewhere, too, but I never listened that far.”

She gave a short, ugly laugh. “Yet aside from the marriage, which you made sure didn’t happen by screwing my sister, you did exactly what I’d ‘mapped out.’”

She air quoted the last two words, because she didn’t think it had been as bad as he implied. It wasn’t as if she’d railroaded over him. He’d been there. He could have told her he wanted something else if that was the case. All he’d had to do was say no.

But he’d never said anything. He’d only slept with her sister.

The thought brought her up straight. Was it her fault he’d slept with Steph? The irony that Stephanie had blamed her was not lost on her.

“I’m sorry, Lee.” Cody had himself back under control now. “Let’s back up. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But you think it’s true.”

The movement was slight, but she saw his nod. “I was too messed up to be thinking about the future the way you wanted. And I had no idea how to tell you that.”

“Is that why you slept with her then? Because of me?”

He reached out for her, but she stepped out of his touch. He sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I think I slept with her because doing that proved to me I was the worthless person I’d always suspected myself to be. The person I’d just learned I’d apparently been since a very young age.”

She would have felt sorry for him if she didn’t hate him at the moment.

Her breathing calmed, and she stood there in the middle of his kitchen, knowing that she was about to issue an ultimatum that had an almost perfect chance of backfiring. She was going to lose him again.

“Dammit, Cody,” she muttered. “Why did you have to make me fall in love with you again when you weren’t finished running?”

Hard eyes drilled back at her. “I haven’t run since I left here the first time.”

“You haven’t ever stopped.” She picked up the purse and coat she’d set down when she’d arrived and headed for the door. “I can’t do this. The girls and I live in Sugar Springs. We’d love to have you here with us, but if you’re too afraid you might have to face your own crap if you stay, I’ll be agreeable to working out a deal where they can visit you on occasion. But they won’t be changing schools and traipsing all over the country just because you’re too scared to face your past. Where you came from doesn’t matter. Things that happened out of your control don’t matter. Who you are today is the only thing
that will ever play into a future with us or anyone else you might let in. If you ever let anyone in.”

Out of words, she turned to leave.

“Don’t you dare walk out like that without giving me a chance to say my piece.”

Hand on the doorknob, she turned slowly back to face him. In a flat tone she said, “Go on then. Tell me how it is.”

“Dammit, Lee Ann.” He paced across the width of the room, before spreading his arms wide and walking in a circle. “The entire town feels as small as this apartment to me. This closed-in. It’s not me. Can’t you understand that? This place isn’t me.”

“Why?”

He barked out a laugh. “I just explained. It’s too small. I want more.”

“You want to get lost in a place where no one knows you or has the thought to judge you. Because you’re afraid you’ll come up lacking.”

“I’m afraid they’ll be right!”

They both jolted back at the shouted words. Shock crossed Cody’s face, and though the comment felt like it might be some sort of breakthrough for him, it was the end for her. She would accept nothing less than what she deserved. And that was everything. She’d spoken her mind, and now she needed to get home before she lost it.

She shrugged into her coat. “I love you, Cody. I couldn’t hide that if I wanted to. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you. But no, I will not uproot myself or my girls because you’re too scared to do it right.”

She yanked the door open. “Thanks for the offer of dinner, but I’ll pass.”

A thud echoed through the night as she slammed the door closed behind her. She’d just thrown down a gauntlet to the only man she’d ever loved. Take me or leave me. And she feared she knew the outcome. Her hands began to shake. She would soon have to figure out how to live without him.

Since she’d walked to his house, she had to make it all the way home before collapsing in misery. Ignoring any noises from houses she passed, she kept looking straight ahead and focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

How dare he be willing to give her a part of him but not all. He was so much better than he ever gave himself credit for, but she was tired of trying to convince him. She silently screamed at the injustice of it all, and as soon as she entered her house, she let the scream loose.

The sound of canned air being pumped into latex was the only noise in the building as Lee Ann and Joanie inflated balloons. The birthday party was tonight. Cody would be there, would make Candy and Kendra ecstatic by helping make it
their best birthday ever
, and she would have to pretend her heart had not broken when she’d walked out of his place the night before. It shouldn’t have surprised her that he’d not even given consideration to staying. He was a runner. Of course he would want to leave. But she’d honestly thought staying would at least be on his radar as a potential option.