Suddenly a Bride (16 page)

At which point Mike made use of the kidney-shaped pan yet again.

The next hour would always be a bit of a blur for Will. White coats. Too many questions, all of which Elizabeth answered with a rapidity and precision that amazed him. A large needle going into a skinny little arm while Will held Mikey’s other hand and told the kid to watch as he made a face like a monkey, in order to distract him.

The wait for the blood-test results.

Saying goodbye to Mikey outside the operating room, holding on to Dan, who worriedly wanted to know if his brother was going to “die like my daddy did.”

He could see Elizabeth almost physically take hold of her composure, her chin lifting as she told her son that it was just a little operation, just an appendix that wasn’t behaving and had to go, and that Mikey might even be able to come home tomorrow.

And then they waited.

Danny crawled onto Will’s lap and was almost im
mediately asleep. Will tried to get Elizabeth to sit down beside him, rest her head on his shoulder, but he might as well have asked her to hop the next plane to the Bahamas.

She paced the empty surgical waiting room, hugging herself, beating herself up.

“I should have seen something. There have to be signs, don’t there? But he seemed fine when I put him to bed.”

“He
was
fine, Elizabeth,” Will assured her. “You heard the doctor. Sometimes these things fester for months, and sometimes they hit out of the blue. There was nothing to see when you put him to bed because he was fine when you put him to bed.”

She was quiet for a few minutes as she continued to pace. “I hate hospitals. Jamie hated when he had to go to the hospital. There was never any good news.”

Will only nodded, letting her speak. They had to talk about her dead husband at some point. If she needed to talk now, then he needed to listen.

“His kind of cancer moved very fast. One minute he was joking that we needed to make love more often, that he was sore from lack of use. And the next they were telling us it was stage-four testicular cancer.”

She stopped pacing, turned to face Will. “How could that be? We couldn’t understand, we couldn’t take it in. We had two babies, not even three years old. God, Will,
we
were little more than babies ourselves.” She sighed audibly as she looked around the sparsely decorated waiting room. “I’m sorry. Too many memories sneaking up on me…”

She whipped her head toward the hallway as a woman clad in blue scrubs appeared, asking for Mikey’s mommy and daddy.

“I’m Elizabeth Carstairs, Mikey’s mother. Is it over?”

“It is, and he did just fine. Nasty little appendix, though, but still in one piece and just waiting for me to snip it. We’ll be moving Mikey to a room in Pediatrics in a little bit, but he’s pretty sleepy. I suggest you get his brother home to bed and come back in the morning. Mikey should be discharged in the afternoon.”

“But he’s all right? It was definitely his appendix and nothing else? It didn’t burst?”

Will stood up, adjusting the sleeping Dan in his arms. “That’s what the doctor said, sweetheart. A horse, not a pony. But definitely not a zebra.”

“No, not a zebra. Not this time. Thank God. May I see him, doctor? Just for a moment? I mean, I know he’s sleeping, and it’s important that Danny sees that I think Mikey’s well enough that I can leave him for a few hours—but I’m really torn.”

The doctor smiled. “I’ll tell you what I tell all my parents struggling with the same situation. We’re here, we’ll watch Mikey for you, and call you the moment he wakes up and asks for you. In the meantime,” she said, waving a hand toward Danny, “you’ve got a sleepy little guy there who probably is more scared than he’s letting on. He needs you, too.”

Elizabeth swiped quickly at her eyes, wiping away tears. “Thank you. May I see Mikey now?”

Twenty minutes later they were on their way back to
Saucon Valley, with Dan asleep in his booster seat and Elizabeth now in the front seat beside Will, but very quiet.

He carried Dan down the hall while Elizabeth mumbled something about making them both glasses of iced tea. He laid the child in Elizabeth’s bed, as she still had some cleaning up to do in the twins’ bedroom, and realized it seemed like years since he’d been imagining himself lying in that bed beside her.

He bent over the sleeping boy and kissed his forehead, already missing the weight of Dan’s body against his, the trust that had been put in him. It was the most terrible, awe-inspiring feeling in the world. To be responsible for a child. It was both the most frightening and the best feeling a man could ever be blessed enough to have in his lifetime.

He returned to the kitchen to see Elizabeth standing at the countertop, two empty glasses in front of her, a chilled pitcher of iced tea next to them. She wasn’t moving, except for the rather tortured rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed in and out.

She’d been a brick. She’d made all the right decisions. She’d done what had to be done, and she’d done it splendidly.

Will walked up behind her, touched his hands to her shoulders, turning her around so that he could pull her into his arms. “Give,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss against her hair. “Let it go, sweetheart. You’re not alone. I’m not going to let you be alone. You don’t always have to be strong. Just let it go.”

He held her, his heart aching for her, and let her cry.

M
ikey was not a happy camper. He got to go to baseball practice every day, but he wasn’t allowed to play. He was relegated to sitting in a chair on the hill and watching his brother, Danny, run around on the field.

Elizabeth got to play referee when Mikey teased Danny about a dropped ball and when Danny shot back that at least he could
play
while Mikey had to sit on the hill like a
girl.

Ah, brotherly love. There was nothing like it.

And she, sitting on the hill beside Mikey, catering to his every need at home, had been relegated to watching Will from that same hill, or watching him with the boys when he stopped at the apartment, usually a man
bearing gifts. He seemed to know that she wasn’t ready for anything else from him, not right now.

Mikey’s emergency had brought back memories of those horrible last months with Jamie, and she’d needed to work through them, finally come to terms with both her loss and the fact that life, because she had her boys, needed to move on. She needed to move on.

Will seemed to understand this without her saying a word. He gave her space while at the same time letting her know he was there for her.

Mostly, the twins took her full attention, when she wasn’t over at the house, trying to get Richard to stop avoiding her.

He’d told her to still consider herself on vacation and to go take care of her patient. He was fine on his own. His back was better, as if the fall had never happened. In fact, he was going to play golf on Friday. In the meantime, he’d just putter around his office, see if he could get his mind back into his latest Jake LaRue manuscript.

Elizabeth pretended not to notice that Richard’s car was gone every evening and that sometimes it wasn’t back at the house until midmorning of the next day.

Richard didn’t talk about it.

She didn’t talk about it.

It was getting very
loud,
neither of them talking about it.

At the same time, she and Will weren’t talking about anything, either. It wasn’t just that he was giving her space to come to terms with her emotions. Danny’s
yell for help had interrupted her just as she’d been about to confess what she’d done, and it might only be a suspicion, but she was pretty sure that Will had been equally glad to have a reprieve.

What did he have to tell her? She knew he had something on his mind, but except to think that he knew about Richard, what could be bothering him? Had he been about to say that fun was fun, her kids were great, he really liked having sex with her, but he felt it might be time he moved on?

No, she wasn’t in any hurry to either confess to Will or hear him confess to her.

Besides, first she had to talk to Richard.

“Have a minute?” Elizabeth asked, poking her head into his office on Thursday morning, part of her wanting to postpone what she had to say, the rest of her just wishing she could get it over with and both of them could stop pretending. Of course, Richard didn’t know that she was pretending, did he? He might even think he was breaking her heart, or at least her hopes for a secure financial future for the twins. What a mess!

“Could we talk later, Elizabeth? I’m on sort of a roll here.” He continued typing, not looking up from the keyboard.

“It is rather important.”

Richard frowned at the computer screen, and then waved her into the room. She couldn’t help but notice that he’d activated the screen saver. She knew what that meant—the man was writing a love scene. Or, as he
called Jake LaRue’s exploits, a
sex
scene. Only women make love, Richard had informed her. Men have sex.

“How’s the boy? Danny, correct?”

“Mikey,” Elizabeth said, smiling ruefully. “But you were close.”

“Well, I did have a fifty-fifty chance. I’m sorry. Did he like the—what was it I got him?”

“An MP3 player, and yes, he loves it. That was very nice of you, Richard.” She sat down on the chair beside his desk and took a deep breath, then went for it. “Richard, we have to talk.”

He took off his computer glasses and ran a hand through his hair. That meant he was flustered, at a loss for words. She knew him so well, liked and admired and even loved him. But she wasn’t in love with him.

“This is about my proposition, isn’t it?”

Elizabeth smiled. “I had thought of it as a proposal, but yes, I guess you could say that.”

Richard’s expression was almost comical. “Did I say proposition? God, that’s pitiful. I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. It was a very nice proposition.”

“It was a very selfish proposition. You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had, and I didn’t want to lose you. I thought it very sane, very sensible. We’re compatible, and your boys would have anything you wanted them to have. And I’d have your fine mind, and your easy acceptance of my many foibles. It seemed to be win-win. Or, as Napoleon said on his way back from Moscow, it seemed a good idea at the time.”

“I think, since you had me look it up, it was more like
from the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.
”

“True. But, either way, it was a disaster of an idea, wasn’t it?”

“No, Richard, it wasn’t a disaster of an idea. In fact, besides being extremely flattered, I think you made me look at my life, which is something I hadn’t done in a long, long time. That examination has made me realize that settling isn’t something I want to do.”

Richard sat forward on his desk chair, propping his chin in his hands. “Can we back up here a minute? I thought I was taking advantage of you bringing up the subject in order to let you down easy, but suddenly I’m not so sure. You’re dumping
me?
”

For the first time since she met Will Hollingswood, Elizabeth felt relaxed in Richard’s company. “I think we’re dumping each other.”

“You know about Eve,” Richard said, sighing. “Elizabeth, I don’t know how it happened…”

“I do. Eve’s rather…irresistible.”

Richard blushed. He actually blushed. “She told me her mother had warned her that when she got married it should be the first time for love, the second time for money. For the third time, Eve says she’s willing to settle for great monkey sex. Oh, God, I shouldn’t have said that. Not when we’re in the middle of dumping each other. Still, I really wish we could be writing this down. It’s great dialogue if I ever decide to write a wacky romantic comedy.”

“Oh, I’m not so sure about—you’re getting mar
ried?” Elizabeth was instantly concerned. “Richard, you barely know Eve.”

“I don’t know about that,” he said, still looking sheepish, which was a rare but rather good look on him. “I think I met her several times in my more interesting dreams when I was about twenty-five years younger. I just didn’t think women like Eve actually existed outside of fiction.”

Elizabeth had to cover her mouth to conceal her amusement.

“No, don’t smile. I’m being deadly serious here. I thought Jake LaRue was brilliant, a real man of the world. Turns out, he’s an ass.
I’m
an ass. Cynical, superficial, selfish—pick any two of the three. I can’t believe that not two weeks ago I thought my proposition—proposal—to you was exactly what was best for both of us. I’ll be forty-six next January. I didn’t think I should expect anything more than a comfortable relationship at this point in my life. Then Eve showed up and—well, I’ve been avoiding this talk since the day I met Eve, but now I realize that you aren’t upset. You’re relieved.” His puzzled expression was rather comical. “Why?”

Elizabeth reached out across the desk and took his hand in hers. Holding his hand was a comforting feeling. It was the big, warm hand of a very dear friend. “It turns out you’re not the only one who realized there’s more to life than settling for what’s comfortable. I was dreading telling you, but now we can congratulate each other on lessons learned.”

“Will Hollingswood, right? He’s more than the boys’ soccer coach?”

“Baseball coach. No wonder you named Sam The Dog the way you did—how else would you remember who and what he is. But, yes, it’s Will. I don’t know where we’re going, even if we’re going anywhere, but he made me realize that my life didn’t end when Jamie died. For a long time, I thought it had.”

“You aren’t leaving me, though, are you?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not leaving you. I’d miss you terribly. I love my job. And I’d worry if you would remember to eat.”

“You had to have been counting on the financial security I dangled in front of you. I can’t forget that. I considered it to be my biggest bargaining chip, frankly. Let me set up college funds for the twins. It’s the least I can do.”

Elizabeth withdrew her hand. “Absolutely not, Richard. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Now I’ve insulted you. Very well, how about a raise? I believe I’ve already said that you’re grossly underpaid.”

“That’s a deal,” she told him, getting to her feet and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Now, tell me what you’re writing and hiding. I’m going to see it sooner or later, anyway.”

Richard looked five years younger as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “I doubt that. It’s an e-mail to Eve, and I’m fairly certain it’s X-rated. Now, I thought you were on vacation. Go—vacation.”

Elizabeth left the room while the going was good and didn’t laugh out loud until she was on her way back to the boys. She hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, losing her smile as she realized that now that she and Richard were good again she had to tell Will what she had done.

“I don’t have time to talk,” Chessie said, quickly picking up a plastic-encased wedding gown and half hiding behind it. “See? Me, being busy. Very, very busy.”

“Tough. I want to talk, and I need your advice,” Will said, taking the gown from her and returning it to the hook on the wall of his cousin’s office.

“Oh, all right, all right. Isn’t it enough I spilled the beans about Elizabeth and her employer? God, I still can’t believe I did that. I’m always so good with secrets. But you had me
so
mad…”

“Chessie, will you for God’s sake just
sit?
It’s all right, really. It doesn’t matter that you set us up. It doesn’t matter that she might have been using me for…well, for comparison, or something. I don’t care about any of that. I really don’t. I love Elizabeth.”

That last admission seemed to do the trick, as Chessie all but fell into the chair behind her desk. “You
what
Elizabeth? Oh, this is bad. I know I just had a birthday last month, but I didn’t think I was ancient enough to be needing a hearing aid.”

Will pulled up a chair in front of the desk and sat down. “Can you be serious, just for one lousy moment?
Elizabeth is avoiding me. I know why. She’s working through some stuff about her late husband, and that’s okay, that’s good, and it’s probably very necessary. And she has to tell Richard that she doesn’t want to take him up on his proposal. Of course, now that Eve is in the mix, I don’t know that this is going to be too hard. The third thing, the thing I want to spare her, is that Elizabeth has to think she needs to tell me.”

Chessie frowned. “Needs to tell you what?”

“Try to follow along, Chess. She has to believe she needs to tell me that she only went out with me to see if there was, well, hell, more out there than Richard.”

“Actually, if we’re being precise here, Counselor, that part was my idea. I sicced you on her, remember? So blame me.”

“Yes, that was pretty much my plan,” he said, then watched her reaction.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” Then she frowned. “Wait a minute. Why is anybody blaming anyone? It all worked out, right? I’ve even got the wedding gown set aside.”

“Excuse me? Wedding gown?” Will wasn’t sure he was ready to hear this one.

“Oh, boy. I didn’t think you were capable of a deer-in-headlights look, but you’re doing a pretty good imitation. You don’t want to marry her?”

“Chessie, we’ve known each other for less than two weeks.”

“Yeah,” his cousin said, grinning. “Next date, you might kiss her good-night, even make a try for second base. Come on, Will, get real. Elizabeth and I do talk,
you know. You’re no kid anymore and neither is she. Either you know by now or you wouldn’t be here, trying to get me to do your dirty work for you.”

Ah, he still had it, the great negotiating mind of a true defense Counselor, one who was currently defending himself. “Then you’ll do it? You’ll tell her there’s no need for some big confession from either of us. That it doesn’t matter how we got where we are, but just that we got…well, that we got there.”

“You’re pathetic,” Chessie told him, shaking her head. “Correction, all men are pathetic. Turn around, Romeo. I want to see the big yellow streak going down the back of that designer suit.”

“Now who’s being a comedian,” Will said, shifting uncomfortably in the chair. “I just don’t see the need for any great postmortem of how something happened, why it started. Isn’t it enough that we’re where we are now?”

Chessie leaned her chin into her cupped palm. “Fascinating. This is absolutely fascinating. Is this anything like telling one of your clients not to answer a question unless it’s asked, and not to ever volunteer to fill in any details? Of course, most of your clients are guilty as sin, so that might figure in there somewhere.”

“Thanks for that rousing endorsement of my choice of profession,” Will said, getting to his feet. “You said you’re busy, so I’ll leave now.”

“Oh, sit down, you big crybaby,” she ordered. “I’ll help you. I mean, I can’t take the credit for getting you two together if how I got you two together rips you apart now, right?”

His back to her, Will smiled and resisted a quick fist pump of victory.

“Thanks, Chess.”

“Yeah, well, before you go ordering me a couple dozen roses to thank me—I like yellow ones, by the way—convince me that you’re not going to hurt her. Because then I’d have to kill you, and you’re my favorite cousin.”

“You’ll tell her, although I kept seeing her because I wanted to, that I originally asked her out because I owed you one for that last blind date I set you up on?”

“The last
three
dates you set me up on. Stick with the facts, Counselor.”