Sucker Punched (28 page)

Then Pops died a couple years later and the little bit of glue holding Declan and I together fell apart. Declan moved out, into the apartment above the gym that Pops had left him, and I got the house. We each got a share of his life insurance, and then that was that. Declan went his way—taking over the gym and using the money he got from fighting in The Pit to fix it up—and I went. . .nowhere.

I drank. I fucked around, in every sense of the word.

We saw each other less and less, until it got to the point that we were more like acquaintances than brothers. Declan was just someone I used to know.

It didn’t help that I’d reached out to our dad and started talking to him again. Declan saw it as the ultimate betrayal. I saw it as mending a broken family.

But you know, potato, potahto.

If you told me last year I’d be spending this Christmas with Declan, his pregnant fiancée, and our dad—like one big happy family—I’d have laughed in your face. Now I’m keeping an eye out for flying pigs.

The door to Declan’s apartment opens behind me, and I look over my shoulder, seeing Savannah join me. She pulls her jacket tighter, shivering, as the door closes behind her and rumbles the tiny metal patio.

I take a drag of my cigarette, hitching my head to the right. “Stay upwind of me,” I say as I exhale.

She rests her hands on the black metal railing, the giant rock on her ring finger glinting in the streetlights.

“Congratulations.” I face forward, watching cars crawl past on the busy street next to us as an ambulance sounds in the distance.

“Thank you.” I can hear the smile in her voice as she wiggles her fingers, admiring her new ring.

“I helped him pick it out, you know.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. He had it narrowed down to two rings and I told him to go with the smaller one. And that,” I say, nodding to the monstrosity on her finger, “is how you ended up with the biggest ring in the store.”

Savannah laughs. “Sounds about right.”

I take one last drag from my cigarette before stamping it out on the railing. “Dinner was great, by the way. I ate so much I feel sick.”

“You’re welcome to take home some leftovers. Your dad is.”

Scoffing, I roll the butt between my fingers. “There’s not going to be anything left by the time he’s done.” I don’t mind, though. He needs it more than I do.

“Probably not,” she agrees. “He’s in there finishing off the chocolate pie as we speak.”

I tug my beanie down as the wind picks up, our silence stretching into awkwardness. Leaning my elbows against the railing, I flick the cigarette stub into the gym’s parking lot below us. “You didn’t come out here just to make small talk. What’s up?”

Her mouth tugs to the side as she mirrors my position against the railing. “How are things with Macy?”

If she asked me yesterday, I’d have said, “Not fucking good.” I was pissed that since Macy’s on winter break, I stupidly thought that meant I’d get to spend more time with her, but I was wrong. Because her hipster douchebag boyfriend is
also
on winter break, and wouldn’t you know it, she spends almost all her free time with that assclown.

But after this morning, I don’t even know where we stand. I don’t know if she’s going to move out or if she hates me or what. I just know that I broke her fucking heart like I knew I would.

I’m not about to admit any of that to little miss “I told you so” over here. Pissed off, I shrug. “Why don’t you ask her?”

“She’s a hard lady to get a hold of lately. Any idea why that might be?”

“Yeah. His name is Hayden.” I can’t help saying his name like it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because it does.

Savannah frowns. “She’s dating someone?”

I grit my teeth. “Yep.”

“You’re jealous.”

I glance over at Savannah, hating the smirk curving her lips. “No, I’m not.”

She straightens. “Please. You’re so jelly you’re starting to turn purple.”

Confused, I push myself away from the railing. “Speak English.”

“You
loooove
her.”

Not this again. “Do not.”

“Do too.”

Her self-satisfied expression pisses me the fuck off. “If I’m so in love with her, then why am I so miserable? Half the time I feel like listening to Dashboard Confessional while I slit my wrists.”

“Oh, sweetie.” She pats my cheek. Up until this very moment, I didn’t know it was possible to pat someone condescendingly.

I frown as she turns to head back inside. “That’s it? You’re not gonna give me any advice?”

Savannah pauses, her lips pursing. “You’re not going to like it.”

I yank off my beanie, running my hands through my hair. “I don’t like
any
of this. The whole situation’s fucked, so why should it matter if I am, too?”

“Look, if you want to date her, then date her, but it should happen slowly. Living together isn’t taking it slow. It’s jumping into the deep end before you’ve learned how to swim.” Her teeth catch her bottom lip, hesitating before she drops the ax. “Macy should probably move out.”

I scowl, slipping past her to head inside. “You’re right, I don’t like it.”

Savannah’s words stuck with me for the rest of the night. I didn’t want them to, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said.

She’s wrong. About everything.

Macy doesn’t need to move out and I certainly don’t love her. That’s ridiculous. I like her, I’ll admit that much, but
love
?

No. That’s a foreign word that doesn’t translate.

I’m just. . .hung up on her right now. But I’ll get over it.

Glancing away from the road, I look at my dad as I drive him home. “How’s your lady friend?”

He frowns. “Who?”

“The woman who lives upstairs.” Jesus, how many women is my old man seeing if he can’t even keep them straight?

“Oh. She’s fine.”

I’ve never really talked about girls with my dad. Shit, he never even gave me “the talk.” My
mom
did, and it consisted of her handing me a box of condoms when I was fourteen and saying, “If you make me a grandma before I’m forty, I’ll kill you. We clear?”

I tap my fingers on the steering wheel, nervous about broaching the subject. “Can I ask you something? About Mom?”

“Of course.”

“How’d you know that she was” —I don’t want to say something as cheesy as “The One,” but I’m not sure how else to phrase it— “worth settling down for?”

I peek at him from the corner of my eye and immediately regret it.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, as I live and breathe.”

My face feels like it’s on fire as he laughs. I want to die. “It’s not like that.”

He scoffs. “The fact that you’re askin’ tells me it’s exactly like that. Is it the girl from before?” He clears his throat. “The one I, uh, saw you with?”

I frown, thinking back.

Oh, shit, he’s talking about Tori.

Almost forgot about that. I shake my head, tightening my hands on the steering wheel. “She was just a distraction.”

“Be careful with those. They’re not worth it.”

I take my eyes off the road for a second to gauge his reaction. “You speaking from experience?”

Growing up, there were several times when he didn’t come home at night. I always figured he was sleeping it off somewhere, but now I’m wondering if he was doing it in someone else’s bed.

“I’m not gonna lie, there were a couple mistakes when your mom first came along. I was never unfaithful, but when I first met her—when I first felt that pull toward her—I fought it. Tooth and fuckin’ nail. And let me tell you, I wish I hadn’t. Would’ve saved us a whole lot of heartache.”

His words sink in as I drive, my brows wrinkling the longer I think. Eventually I give up and shake my head. “She’s so far out of my league it’s not even funny. When I think about the kind of guy she should be with, it’s sure as hell not someone like me. I don’t— I don’t know how to be what she needs,” I admit quietly.

Dad sighs. “You better figure it out, son. It sounds like she’s what
you
need.”

“Hey, handsome. You come here often?”

I immediately recognize the purring voice in my ear as her tits graze my back. Despite my shitty mood, I smile at Tori’s clichéd pickup line. “Not anymore.”

I used to come to Paddy’s all the time. It’s a dive bar, but it’s usually got a couple of pretty girls, cheap drinks, and it’s within walking distance from my house. It’s where I first met Tori and where I used to spend most Saturday nights. 

But now, I spend my Saturday nights at home, waiting for Macy to get off work like some kind of lovesick puppy. It’s gross.

Tori sits on the empty stool next to me. “I’ve noticed.” She snatches the drink out of my hand and downs the remaining whiskey, then lifts the empty glass, signaling the bartender for another one. “I’ve also noticed that you seem to have forgotten my number. Either that or your phone’s broken.”

She smiles as Frank approaches, holding out my glass while he pours another two fingers’ worth of whiskey. I snatch it from her, slamming back the drink.

It burns so good. 

“Since when do I buy your drinks?” I ask.

Paying for drinks at a bar is just a roundabout way of paying for sex. Either you want to fuck me or you don’t. Whether or not I plop down $15 shouldn’t matter.

Tori’s lips purse as she flags down Frank again, but she’s not really mad. She’s well aware of my buy-your-own-drink policy. “So where have you been?”

“Around.”

I watch Frank as he pours her signature vodka cranberry, feeling Tori’s eyes on me the entire time. He places it in front of her and then leaves as soon as someone else flags him down.

She swirls the tiny straw around in her drink, keeping her voice light. “You didn’t go and get yourself a girlfriend, did you?”

I turn my empty glass on the bar, feeling my drinks starting to catch up with me. “Does that sound like something I would do?”

“Then let’s go back to your place.” She finishes her drink and stands, leaning into my side to murmur in my ear. “I’ve missed you.” Her hand slides across my thigh to stroke my cock through my jeans. “Haven’t you missed me?”

Tori’s hot, there’s no denying that. Normally I’d love the way her tits are pressed against my arm, her shirt cut so low I’m surprised her nipples aren’t showing. And normally I’d love to lift her miniskirt, move her thong aside, and sink my cock into her tight, wet snatch. But now? 

All I can think about is Macy.

Macy, Macy, Macy.

Things haven’t been the same since Christmas. She’s been avoiding me. Locking her door at night. She has every right to keep her distance, but I don’t know how much more I can take. 

And it doesn’t help that I don’t know what the hell I want. My head’s telling me to stay away from her. To not give her any false hope. But every cell in my body
hurts
the longer I’m not near her.

Something’s got to give. There’s so much tension between us that it’s just a matter of time before something breaks under the pressure. I just hope she’s not the one who gets hurt this time.

My dick remains unresponsive to Tori’s advances and I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I’ve never had to tell a girl like her that I’m not interested. The words seem to be physically stuck.

Her face falls as she notices my apologetic look. Sitting on the edge of the stool, she brushes her dark hair behind her ear. “There
is
a girl.”

I laugh quietly, almost bitterly. “Yeah, but she’s not my girlfriend.” Far from it.

Tori’s heavily made up eyes study me. “You want her to be?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Well, I’m afraid I know what the answer might be, but I’m even more afraid that it’s too fucking late.

Hayden’s a constant fixture in Macy’s life now. It’s like I pushed her right into his waiting arms, which feels just. . .
super
.

I had to sit back and keep my fucking mouth shut while she went out with him every night this past week. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she looked mouth-watering every time she left.

It guts me that she tries so hard for that weenie. Macy shouldn’t have to impress him. If anything, it should be the other way around. That gawky, four-eyed nerd is lucky she even gives him the time of day.