Stronger (The University of Gatica #4) (11 page)

The first week of January turned into a blur. Chrissy spent endless hours trying to push herself in the gym with Jamie and on the indoor track with Jason and Jani. All of her friends stepped up to help her, even Elizabeth, who was much more comfortable on a basketball court.

"You really don't have to do this." Chrissy smiled over at her roommate as they jogged slowly around the indoor track. The snow had dissipated a little and the weather was chilly, but felt good.

"I want to, besides, I wanted to talk with you about me and Jason." She glanced toward Chrissy as they made their fifth lap. "How's your knee though? You know not to overdo it."

"I'm good. What's up with my brother?"

"I want to tell him about all that shit from UCLA, but I just can't. I told him last night that I'd like to be good friends for a while and if something happens over the spring or summer that pulls us closer that I won't fight it."

"Oh wow. How did he respond to that?" Chrissy asked, her chest aching over the pseudo rejection her brother must have felt. He was a good guy and would treat Elizabeth so well, but she needed to work into them slowly, which made sense.

"He was great about it. He said that he loved the idea. I wanted to press into him to see what his past looked like, but I guess that's something that happens once you get to know someone, you know, over time." She shrugged.

"Yeah. I still need to get to know Ryan. I feel like everything happened so fast." Chrissy adverted her gaze, the hot pain of loss rising in her chest and leaving her feeling weak again. "I miss him far more than I should."

"I don't think getting to know someone fully is a requirement for falling in love. Sometimes it happens slowly, like what could happen with me and Jason and sometimes it's like a tidal wave that you didn't expect. That's you and Ryan."

"I guess. I hate the fact that I can't seem to concentrate on anything for more than a few minutes without my thoughts racing back to him."

"That's natural. Stop beating yourself up." Elizabeth stopped and Chrissy turned, slowing her jog.

"What's the matter?"

"Your friend Aileen." Elizabeth pointed and Chrissy turned, hearing the soft sobs of her friend.

"Oh no." Chrissy jogged toward her friend, pulling the pretty girl into a hug. "What's the matter?”

"Nothing. Just being a girl." Aileen pressed her face against Chrissy's shoulder.

Elizabeth waved and winked, walking the other way. The girl was too perceptive to people's needs. She was going to be so good for Jason. Chrissy just hoped they could both press through their sordid pasts to give each other a chance. One of them would have to eventually move the friendship into something more or it would remain just a friendship forever, which would be such a tragedy.

"Doesn't sound like nothing." Chrissy moved back and put her hands on her friend's shoulders. Aileen was a lot like her and rarely had she seen the girl cry. No one witnessed Chrissy's emotional break-downs. No one. She always made sure she was in the shower to let herself go.

After hearing the distance in Ryan's voice on their one phone call in a week, she had spent a few too many showers crying herself sick.

"It's Tyler… I just... I just don't need this crap."

"No, you don't."

Aileen sighed. "Sorry. I don’t mean to lay this on you. Things have just gotten really complicated since the Pinstripe Bowl. Him being MVP was great, but he's starting to get seriously courted by the NFL. I'm excited for him, but he's worried that if he focuses on anything but that..." She paused and pressed her fingers to her lips as tears dripped onto her cheeks.

"It's okay. I'm here." Chrissy moved to the side of her friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and walking over to sit on the stands. The benches were insanely cold and Chrissy's short running shorts didn't help much, but it wasn't a time to bitch about anything. Aileen had been a great friend to her since she got on campus. Time to return the favor.

"He doesn't want us to see much of each other until the dust settles with this NFL thing. He's in the draft for sure, so it's going to be a while." She inhaled a shaky breath. “He said,” her voice dropped to a whisper as she fought back more tears. “He said that we could see each other at track meets and stuff, but he needed a bit of time to himself.”

"That's bullshit! You can't just sit around and see if his dreams work out while you wait for him. If he does get drafted, which is going to happen, then are you guys together or not?" Chrissy huffed softly, anger rising in her chest over how stupid guys could be.

Would Ryan pull the same crap? He was up for drafting by the NHL as well. Would the distance between them leave him wanting to simply focus on that part of his future instead of that and them? She tucked the thought away, not wanting to drown in the fact that he seemed a million miles away and she had already lost him.

"I honestly don't know. He said that we can hang out from time to time, but he needs to stay focused on his football career for now."

"By hang out... he's not talking about having sex and nothing else, right?"

"No. He's not that type of guy. He told me this morning that I need to think about moving on. He's worried that I'll sit around waiting for him instead of living my life."

"Why can’t you love him and live your life at the same time."

"I said that, but he just looked at me and said my name in that way he does. Like I'm being too simple in my thoughts." She shrugged and wiped at her eyes.

Chrissy turned at the sound of someone approaching. Coach Anderson. The man was old enough to be her father and yet he was beyond handsome. She kept her arm around Aileen, but squeezed her friend's shoulder to let her know someone was approaching.

"Girls. How are you? It's freezing in here. That why you’re shaking?” He smiled and stopped in front of them.

"Just need some heat," Chrissy responded absently.

"Everything okay?" Anderson asked, his gaze moving from Chrissy to Aileen.

"It's okay. Just lamenting over boys. I'm not thinking you want to see this, Coach." Aileen let out a soft laugh, but it dissipated quickly.

"My boys are all grown, so no more of that." He paused and moved to sit down on the bench in front of them. "I am a boy though. An old one, but I still get to wear that badge. Anything I can help you through?"

"Just trying to figure out how to love someone that loves their talent more than us, Coach. I'm sure it’s the battle cry of most of the people in our programs."

"Ahhh... yes. It most certainly is. I think what the guys fail to realize is that love can be a source of strength instead of a distraction. When we realize that we get our man badges. Did you girls know we get those?"

Aileen chuckled and Chrissy joined her before responding. "I think you're right. Using that love or lust, the devotion or desire to fuel us to be better athletes would work. It always seems like a one or the other decision though."

"Because we complicate everything. You have legs, so you run. You work hard, so you succeed. You cultivate a relationship, so you cause it to grow and strengthen, which allows it to become the center of your strength.”

He stood and stretched. "I have to run to a meeting. I came by to give you some good news, Chrissy."

"What's that?" Chrissy asked, releasing Aileen and wrapping her arms around herself.

"You're cleared for the next track meet. You let us know if you feel up to it, but as far as me and my staff are concerned, docs cleared you, you run." He smiled and took a step back before pausing. "Don't give up on the guys just yet. Love them through their infancy. Everything seems overwhelming and they don't want to half-ass anything. I remember how it felt and I'm sure you both know it all too well. Let love be the source of your strength. Hang in there. It gets better. They eventually get their man cards."

He walked off and Chrissy watched him go, shaking her head before leaning over and hugging her friend to her side.

"I wonder if it's a crime to date someone thirty years older than you."

"That's gross."

"I'm talking about Anderson. He's so good looking and did you hear the wisdom he just tossed on us?" Chrissy smiled as Aileen rolled her eyes.

"He's married, you idiot."

"I was just trying to get you to smile."

"You would totally date him if he wasn't... wouldn't you?"

"If there wasn't a hot hockey player in my future? Hell yeah, I would. Didn't you hear him? He has his man card. I wonder what it looks like." Chrissy laughed and jumped up as Aileen came after her, her friend laughing and giving her hell for being a perv.

They would survive this time of growth like they always did – together.

"You ready, tiger?"

Chrissy turned and nodded at Coach Maves. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"We're all so impressed with where you've come from. Make sure to keep your balance today and only focus on the run. Don't let your thoughts or anything distract you. Today is your day. Hear me?"

"I sure do. I’m not reaching for a win, but I am reaching for technical perfection.”

“I have no doubt you’ll do it." Coach patted Chrissy on the back and walked away. It was nice to know that only having been on the team for a short while, she already had the confidence and support of the people that mattered most in her fight to keep her scholarship. Both of her coaches had been more than encouraging. Outside of her brother they were the ones rooting the hardest for her to find her center and capture her success once again.

The indoor arena looked beautiful full of life and competition. Scratch that, the competition made if full of beautiful life. There had been a good handful of renovations done on it over the holidays. Chrissy had noticed some of the construction but was obviously too wrapped up in everything to think to ask what was going on. She glanced around the stands, Ryan nowhere to be seen. He probably had an issue with his flight or maybe just had something come up. He hadn't answered her over the last few days, but he was in the middle of a brutal winter training camp. Jason reminded her ten times over the last few days that the coaches will often take up all phones and electronics to keep the players’ head's in the game and not on anything or anyone else.

"Focus. Focus. Stop thinking about him and get your head in the game. You can find him when this is over." Chrissy glanced back at the stands. Her brother was dressed up in school colors, him and Tyler having painted their faces and torso's. They started dancing around as she waved at them. They were going to get their asses kicked out.

She laughed out loud. It wouldn't be a true meet if they didn't. Everyone was there to support her. Everyone but Ryan. She let out a long sigh and walked to the start line of her event. A few familiar faces greeted her, students from other schools she had been competing against for a long time. This was her sport and Maves had said it well - this was her moment.

Chrissy was up next.

It was now or never.

A cheer rose up from the bleachers. Her friends and brother no doubt. Chill bumps broke out across her skin and she blew out a long breath. Her breakfast threatened to rise in her throat, but she pushed it back down. She bent over and rubbed her knee as the official called out, “Chrissy up, Trina on deck, Lia in the hole.”

Chrissy moved to her approach mark and stared down the runway to the challenge in front of her. She thought briefly of Ryan and forced it back away as she closed her eyes, listening for the sound of the official calling her name one last time.
Focus.

Nothing else should matter, but he did. He was supposed to be there. He promised. It was the foundation of their trust being built. Nothing had mattered before, but Ryan changed everything. Her focus, her drive, her desires – all wrapped up in the need for him to be a part of her everything.

The official called her name and she pushed off. Her eyes opened and she worked to keep her focus, counting down as her approach neared the take-off board. She pushed herself harder than she ever had before. Hopefully muscle memory would take over and she could relax in the fact that after all of this work and all of these years, she would ace this because it was simply part of who she was, not just what she could do.

The same, soft voice that always warned her whispered
now
as she approached the sand pit. Shifting slightly she lowered her center of gravity and lengthened her stride. Two long steps later she was airborne, her leg kicking powerfully as she had trained to do over and over. She wanted to look to the left, to see if he was there, but she forced herself to maintain her stance. She hit the sand with impact, but it was the appropriate speed, the right projection, the perfect landing.

She knew the minute she finished that she set a personal best. She leaned forward and moved out of the pit. She let out a long sigh as she waited for the measured mark. She needed to know she was still able to do this. Her legs were everything. They were her future for the next few years. Without her ability to run and win she would lose her scholarship. No one could spare her the agony of being ejected from college and having no hope. Poverty was her way of life for so long that she and Jason had to fight hard for everything they got.

She had fought hard and won. She let out a soft sob before someone stood beside her and dropped down to rest their hands on their knees, imitating her position.

"Are you hurt, Chrissy?" Ryan reached over and slipped his hand over hers. "Is it your knee?"

Tears spilled over onto her cheeks as she reached for him, knocking him backwards over the wooden boards that showed fans the distance of the jumpers. They fell to the ground, Ryan on the track and Chrissy on top of him.

"I didn't think you would come," she whispered before pressing her lips to his, kissing him with the message that she was lost without him.

He returned the kiss, rolling her over and pressing himself to the top of her. "You're not hurt, right?"

"No. I was overwhelmed. I was scared. I thought maybe..." She stopped talking, the emotion cutting her off.

"Um, guys. You can't do that here." Coach Maves offered a hand to Chrissy and smirked. "There is a small office over there if you need to have a moment to get yourselves together."

Chrissy moved off of Ryan and stood as he moved to stand beside her. An official looked down his nose at her.

Jason jumped over a hurdle and rushed toward her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, you brute."

"Yeah, well how about not giving me a damn heart attack with your moment."

"Sir, Sir... you can't be here." The officials took Jason and Ryan by the arms. "You're going to have to leave."

"Just like old times." Jason laughed and nodded to Ryan.

The measuring official called out Chrissy’s jump. Her mouth dropped. She’d set a PB and made the automatic qualifier for NCAA indoors. She hugged the surprised official and jumped up and down.

Ryan walked back with her to where the other jumpers were waiting to take their second round of jumps. He slipped his hand into Chrissy's and they walked to the edge of the field before he pulled her into a tight hug. "I got delayed at the damn airport and they took our phones in training camp, but I would never miss this. I want to be here for everything I can, for everything you do, babe." He leaned down and kissed her softly, the passion pushing them to dive in deeper. She was panting by the time they broke the kiss.

“I started to get worried, but I didn’t want to lose hope.” She let out a long breath and pulled him in closer, as if something might take him from her any minute.

“I figured you were. I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to get a message to you on both accounts.” He touched his forehead to hers. “I’m here now. I’d never leave you hanging like that. Ever. I need you too bad in my life to harm this thing we have going.”

"I love you. You make me better, braver, stronger." Chrissy reached up and touched the side of his face.

He turned and kissed her fingers before looking back down at her. "You make me the man I want to be. Don't doubt me again. I'll never let you go... Never."

~ THE END ~