Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) (28 page)

Garrett put his hand on my thigh instead of touching the food, and I smiled. I could tell he was brimming with excitement even though he was as stoic as always.

Nicole sighed dramatically. “God, you two are so cute. I can’t stand it.”

“Well try to stand it, you freak,” Garrett said, scowling. “You’re so embarrassing.”

“Don’t call her a freak,” Pauline barked. “We have company.”

While Garrett and Nicole bickered—and Pauline tried to discipline her adult children—I stuffed my face. I hadn’t known what coming here would do to me. All I’d known was Garrett was my destination, and I’d hoped everything else would sort itself out.

There was still the trip to Illinois. Getting used to a new house. A new city. A new everything, but so far…so good.

Eventually Garrett led me back to his bedroom so we could talk in peace.

“So,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped between his knees. “Explain to me how this happened.”

I picked through the books on his bookshelf. “I told you. I hired a driver.”

“No, explain how
this
happened.”

“Well…I saw a doctor.”

Garrett’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Yeah, and I went to a therapist too. I’m not…I have a lot of work to do. A lot. But I have a prescription for four milligrams of Xanax for big things, like, uh, moving and traveling. And I have a referral to a doctor in Peoria too. I can keep going to therapy and hopefully get on some other medication to help me long-term.”

While I spoke, Garrett had nodded slowly as concern continued to brim in his eyes. “You didn’t just do this for me, did you?”

My Garrett. Still worried. Still expecting a worst-case scenario. “I did it for me. And for us. I don’t think I’ll ever be great in crowds and in public. I’ll probably still be a part-time hermit in Illinois, but at least I’m able to get my ass there. To be with you. And to start living outside the walls of my apartment again.”

“I don’t expect you to become a fucking social butterfly or anything. Hell, I don’t want to talk to people either.”

I sank down onto the bed beside him and laid my head on his shoulder with my eyes closed. Opposite us was a dusty full-length mirror, and I watched our reflections as he laced his fingers through mine. “It’s not going to be easy. I want you to know that. There might be times you want to strangle me.”

“There’ll be plenty of times I’m sure you’ll fantasize about smothering me in my sleep,” he said.

I laughed. “Yeah, maybe. And I still have to work a lot. I’ll stream most nights.”

“That’s fine. Maybe we can do Saturdays with Garrett.” He nudged his shoulder against mine. “I’ll even stop threatening Garvy. What do you think?”

I was already envisioning us curled up in front of the computer on Saturdays, happy and sated with post-sex hair as we wreaked havoc on
FWO.
“I think that sounds perfect.”

He was quiet for a while, and when I opened my eyes, his gaze was on our hands. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here with the punk who griefed me in the catacombs.”

“Can’t believe I just let that inexperienced archer fuck me.”

The flare of Garrett’s gamer ego returned. “There will be a rematch.”

“Bring it. There’s plenty of time for you to practice
trying
to win.”

“Yeah,” Garrett said, smiling despite my taunts. “There is.”

Kai

The Irish pub was loud but we’d been seated in a secluded booth in the corner, so I didn’t have to see anyone but Garrett’s coworkers. Plus, he was beside me, the heat of his body warming my side and easing my nerves. I was determined to do this.

The restaurant seemed to have its regulars who ignored the newcomers in the corner. Well, I was a newcomer. Garrett and his coworkers came here sometimes after work. Despite Garrett’s claims that he hated people, he’d managed to form a small group of friends at his new job. Hilariously, he had more in common with middle-aged dads than twenty-something military guys his own age. When I’d pointed that out to him, he’d rolled his eyes and muttered something about “annoying motherfuckers” and “Costigan” so I’d dropped it with a smirk.

Claudia, his coworker, was staring at me. I shifted in my chair, and she seemed to get the hint.

“Sorry,” she said, her gaze darting to Garrett, then back to me. “I’ve just been excited to meet you. Part of me wondered if Garrett had an imaginary boyfriend.”

I looked at Garrett pointedly. His fierce protectiveness was the reason I’d been some mythical creature to his co-workers for months. He was constantly reassuring me that he respected my boundaries, and that he had no interest in forcing me into social situations on a regular basis.

Garrett sneered at her. “Well now you know. He’s real.”

“Good for you. I’m glad you weren’t hallucinating.” Claudia grinned at me. “And he’s so nice and cute. Who woulda thought you’d land him?”

He scoffed. “I’m a total catch.”

The whole table erupted into laughter, but Garrett looked serious. He scowled at us harder, and I laughed along with everyone else.

Once the laughter died down, I settled in to drink my water and listen as Garrett’s coworkers talked shop. Occasionally Garrett would drop into the conversation, but he seemed more interested in eating his steak, drinking his beer, and exchanging glances with me.

“Deadline’s coming up,” said Daniel, an older man with a gray beard who Garrett seemed to respect, therefore I did. “We’ll get it done if the new hires pull their weight.” He nodded at Garrett. “Not talking about you, son. You do a fine job.”

Garrett flushed. “Thanks.”

“Meh,” said Sawyer, an older man whose cheeks were covered in freckles. “They’ll get the hang of it. I’m not worried.”

That set off a flurry of discussion on how work ethic varied among generations until Claudia put her hands over her ears and demanded a subject change. She hated talking about work when they weren’t even at the plant. Apparently it happened regularly.

Garrett wasn’t the most social person and often grumbled about his coworkers asking him to go out for drinks, but I always encouraged him to go. Knowing people, and getting along with them, seemed to make him happy, and I was glad we were both finally settled.

The move hadn’t been easy. We’d driven, which had been all right, because it was just Garrett and me in a car. But once we’d arrived in Peoria, I’d gone into shut down mode and hadn’t left the bed for days.

It was overwhelming to get used to a new place and a new city. A new life. But I’d found a therapist I liked, and after some trial and error, a good mix of anxiety medications had evened me out. I wasn’t cured, of course. There was no magic pill. But I was better. That had been enough to get the ball rolling on creating a home for both of us.

By the time our plates were cleared, I was anxious to leave. I’d enjoyed meeting his coworkers but I was drained by the conversation and maintaining my composure for a solid couple of hours. I tapped my foot to ignore the sensation of coming out of my skin, caught Garrett’s eye and tugged my ear.

It was our way of communicating when the outside world became too much for me. He seemed to be terrified of ever being oblivious about my anxiety and had insisted we use the system my therapist had suggested when we were out and about, which made him the best boyfriend ever.

Garrett nodded and pulled out his wallet to throw some bills on the table. After saying goodbye to his coworkers, we bundled up and made our way out onto the street. I took a deep gulp of air, my heart already slowing and my blood cooling now that I was no longer stuck inside.

Our house was in walking distance so we huddled close and strode down the sidewalk. I nudged him. “Sorry we left early.”

“I was ready to go. It’s Friday. All I wanna do is get in bed, fuck you, and conk out.”

I laughed. “That’s a damn good plan.”

“I thought so.” After a moment of walking, he spoke again. “You liked them?”

“Sure, they were nice.”

When we reached our house, Garrett unlocked the door and ushered me in ahead of him. I stretched and inhaled deeply like I always did when returning to my cocoon. This house was my pride and joy, and I’d gone hog wild with the decorating. I’d gone on an online shopping spree after the first nerve-wracking week, and we’d received deliveries every day. I had a lot of savings, and damned if I wasn’t going to spend it after living like a miser for three years.

I’d painted every room a different color, thrown up pictures of our road trip from Pennsylvania to Illinois, and was now working on convincing Garrett to get a pet. He’d agreed to a fish so far, and I was trying to upgrade to a cat.

My gaming room was awesome. Garrett and I had painted it blue and hung retro game posters. It was my favorite room in the house other than our bedroom. Garrett had fretted over it for weeks until it was perfect.

I toed off my boots, hung up my jacket, and padded to the kitchen to make coffee.

“The second part of your plan might have to be delayed, you know,” I said as he followed me into the kitchen. “I gotta stream.”

“That’s fine. We got all weekend. I’m fucking beat anyway.”

Garrett watched me as I brewed a cup in the Keurig. He was still staring when it finished.

“What?” I asked, taking a sip of the piping hot brew.

“Are you sure that was okay?”

“Babe, I’m fine.” He didn’t say anything so I set down my mug and took a step closer. “You worry
so
much. You freak out that
I’m
going to freak out.”

“Because I still worry that I’m forcing you into things you don’t want to do,” he admitted after a beat of silence. “I don’t want this entire move to be…you finding yourself in uncomfortable situations, you know?”

“Garrett,” I said, exasperated. “I moved because I love you. And you know what? I like it here. You have a good job where you aren’t thousands of miles away in the desert. I’m still able to work and my subs are growing faster than ever. Probably because of your Saturday appearances but whatever.” I stomped for emphasis. “We’re building something here, and it can’t be wiped out by a panic attack or me being uncomfortable sometimes. This is my life now. I’m committed to it.”

“So am I.” Garrett pulled me into a tight hug. “I wake up every morning with you beside me, and I’ll never take that for granted.”

His words warmed me more than any cup of coffee ever could. “I’m getting better. And even when I have bad days, you understand. I’m happy here.”

“I am too.” He sighed. “It’s been perfect. Like too perfect to be real. I never expected any of this to happen.”

“Well it did.” I rose onto my toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “And you’re cute when you’re flustered.”

He made a face. “Don’t call me cute.”

Stepping away, I grabbed my coffee cup. “Okay, for real, I have to sign on to Twitch now.”

“Go for it.” The words came through a yawn, but he held up a hand to halt my steps. “Don’t forget to send Nicole your Christmas list.”

“She doesn’t have to get me anything.”

“She’s going to buy you something regardless. Just accept it and send her a list. She loves that shit.”

I didn’t disagree too forcefully. The thought of spending the holidays with Garrett’s family filled me with glee. They were coming here to visit, and I couldn’t wait. Plus, I’d already bought them so much shit. Garrett only knew about half of it.

“Okay, fine.”

“All right, I’m going to bed.”

I was halfway to my office when he poked his head out of our bedroom door.

“Hey.”

“Hey what?”

Another soft smile crossed his face. “I love you.”

Would I ever get used to those words melting my insides? The answer was a hard no.

“I love you too.”

He disappeared into our bedroom, and I slipped into the office. When I signed onto Twitch, I greeted Chat and there was no hiding the huge grin on my face.

Being happy was the best. My life had finally come together thanks to a chance encounter on a video game. If I believed in fate, I’d think my orc and his archer had been destined to camp the same room. To pay homage to that fact, I signed onto
FWO
and went to the arena to own some noobs.

Want more Cyberlove?

It was supposed to be a typical Grindr hookup. There wasn’t supposed to be a second time, or a third, or more. He certainly wasn’t supposed to get under my skin. And it definitely wasn’t in the plan for me to fall in love with Dominic Costigan.

But things never go as planned.

Fast Connection
coming Fall 2016

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here
!

We wrote this book based on a small kernel of an idea and our interest in how parasocial relationships form online. Then we both fell in love with the characters and the story, and now we hope readers do too. This book was truly a collaboration through and through, and we had a blast writing it.

Many people helped us shape this book into what it became. Thanks to Alexis Hall, AJ Pine and Lia Riley, who beta’d in the very early draft stages and helped us flesh out and unpack Kai and Garrett’s story.

The absolute hugest thanks to Natasha Snow, for this cover that took our breath away. We told you about the book and you ran with it, giving us this rad cover concept that had us jumping up and down with excitement. You are awesome to work with!

Thank you to Sarah Henning for your copy editing services. You were awesome to work with and really helped us make this book the best it could be! Anna caught all the errors we’d missed during proofing, and Daniel worked his formatting magic on a manuscript full of text messages and chat speak. Thank you both!

So, this story required a lot of inspiration. We both spent a lot of time on Twitch, studying the culture and how streamers interact with their viewers. Our main sources of Inspiration were Summit1g (the way he interacts with his Chat was how we modeled Kai’s relationship with his Chat), Kaceytron, Sodapoppin and Sky Williams. Uh, they’ll probably never read these acknowledgements, but we wanted to thank them anyway.