Strawberry Wine (19 page)

“Then what is it? Stop keeping me in suspense.”

“He’s my English teacher, Margot.”

Margot gasped. “
What?
Seriously?” Margot was quiet for a moment, then, “That’s kind of hot.”

Alli was not in the right frame of mind to appreciate Margot’s humor.

“It is not!” She moaned. “You should have seen his face when I walked in to his classroom...”

“You mean you never told him the truth?! Alli!”

Alli dropped her face into her hand. “I was planning to, I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I was waiting for the right time. And now it’s too late, and he hates me.”

Margot didn’t know what to say. She hated to see her little sister in such obvious distress, but at the same time, she knew Alli had brought this on herself. Margot felt a little responsible too. She hadn’t seen a problem with Alli exaggerating her age by a year or two in order to flirt with a neighboring college boy over the summer. When it was obvious that Alli wanted to take it further, Margot hadn’t seen a problem with that either, so long as Alli came clean about her actual age. Five or six years difference didn’t seem like that big of a deal to Margot, but she could see how Jason might have a difference of opinion.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing. He just ignored me and talked about the syllabus.”

“Well of course he didn’t say anything at school. What were you expecting? You have to go talk to him Alli. You owe him an explanation.”

Alli stared grimly at her computer screen. She knew Margot was right. It was time to take responsibility for her lies. She owed him that much.

Alli knew she couldn’t avoid Jason forever. She decided it would be better to just get it over with, rather than have to sit through another class with him, not knowing where they stood.

Slipping on a hooded sweatshirt, she glanced at the clock. Nine fifteen. She hoped her mom and grandparents wouldn’t question her sudden urge to take a moon lit walk.

Jason wasn’t in the carriage house. She was going to play the part of the coward and just head home, when she noticed a light on in the shop. It was risky. It could be Mrs. Taylor. Alli shrugged and decided to take her chances. Now that Jason knew she was in high school, she wasn’t worried about what to say to his parents. She was just the kid from next door, probably coming by to ask a school related question.

The large rolling door was closed, but a rectangle of light from the open side door fell across the gravel of the walk. Alli’s feet made a soft crunching sound as she made her way tentatively toward the door.

He was sitting on a rough wooden chair in the middle of the shop with his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. He knew she was there, but didn’t move or look up to acknowledge her.

She made her way over to a chair by the utility sink and quietly sat down. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. She just waited for what seemed an eternity. By the time he spoke she was growing cold, and distracted herself by watching a moth dancing and fluttering around the naked bulb above the sink.

“How old are you, Alli?” His voice was rough from disuse, and held a steel tone that made her shiver more than the temperature of the shop.

Her answer was little more than a whisper. “Seventeen.”

He drew a deep breath in and looked up at the ceiling as if silently asking for strength. She could see his jaw muscles clench and unclench themselves. When he finally looked at her she wasn’t prepared for the force of his gaze. She had expected anger, contempt even, but she hadn’t expected such a look of hurt and sorrow.

Her face crumbled and a large lump grew in her throat. “Jason,” She stood up, but he held his hand out, stopping both her speech and her forward movement.

She sat back down on the rickety chair and kept her eyes trained on her knees. She could see little dark patches forming on her jeans where her tears were landing and absorbing into the material. “I’m sorry.” She cried. “I’m so so sorry. I never meant for things to turn out like this... I don’t blame you for hating me.” She wept. The hot tears were coming faster, and her shoulders shook with her quiet sobs.

Jason’s voice was right next to her when he said just loud enough for her to hear, “I don’t hate you, Alli.” He was holding a handkerchief out for her to take. She took it and pressed it against her wet cheeks. She didn’t want to soil it by blowing into it, so she dabbed daintily at her runny nose.

“You’re not mad?” Her eyes were round and doe-like and her eyelashes were clumped together with tears.

“I was.” His voice was flat. “At first I was shocked, wondering what kind of cruel joke this was. After the shock wore off I was angry. Do you realize what something like this could mean for me? For my career? The implications this could have on my
life
?”

Alli shook her head, “I would never have said anything! I would never want to get you in trouble!”

“Lying to me like that was a selfish and foolish thing to do, and it didn’t make any sense to me because the Alli I know isn’t a selfish and foolish girl.”

Alli’s eyes lit up a moment. “Does that mean you forgive me? Jason, I’ll be eighteen in eleven months-” He gently stopped her.

“Yes, I forgive you Alli, but that doesn’t mean I think we should continue to see each other. Even after you’re legal.” Alli let out a small gasp. “I thought about it! God knows I tried to justify finding a way to make it work. I was going to wait for you Alli.” Jason dropped down beside her and looked imploringly into her eyes. “It wouldn’t be right, Alli. Believe me when I say that this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I am an adult, and it is my responsibility to do the right thing here.”

Alli was frowning in disbelief. “But it’s only eleven months!”

“No, Alli, that’s not the point. I’m your teacher for God sakes! You’re seventeen. You should be enjoying your senior year, going to football games, dating guys your own age, thinking about college.”

“I don’t like football, and I don’t want to date boys my own age. I want you! And I know you want me too.” Alli put a hand on Jason’s cheek and pressed her lips against his. He sighed in sadness and pulled away from her.

“Alli, you can’t do that to me. You need to stay away from me - if not out of common sense, than at least out of mercy. Do you think this is easy for me? Have you not been listening to a thing I’ve said? Of course I want you!” Jason stood and ran his hands roughly through his hair. He paced back and forth in front of Alli’s chair, taking deep breaths and counting silently in his head. Finally he turned back to her. “I think it would be best if we avoided each other for a while. I’m going to transfer you out of my class-”

Alli jumped up. “No! Don’t transfer me, please!”

“Alli, we need to put distance between us,” he held up his hand to stop her from interrupting, “even if it’s only for the next eleven months.” Jason took hold of her shoulders, partly to focus her attention and partly to keep her from touching him. “I’ll make you a deal. You do your best to forget about me, and date guys your own age -
really
give them a chance - and if you still feel as strongly about us in eleven months, we’ll revisit our relationship.”

Alli clung to his wavering, a flicker of hope quickening her pulse. “Fine. I’ll date high school boys.” Then, off Jason’s look of annoyance, she grabbed tightly to his wrists at her shoulders. “No, really. I’ll give them an honest chance! But please don’t transfer me. I promise, I don’t expect you to treat me any differently than any other student, and I’ll treat you with the same respect I give all my teachers. Is it really so much to ask? Being in the same room with me one hour a day?”

Alli knew he could see the sheer panic in her eyes. She followed his gaze when he broke eye contact to stare at her grip on his wrists. Hastily she released him and stepped out of his hold. “Please,” She said again. “Don’t transfer me.”

Against his better judgement, Jason reluctantly agreed not to transfer Alli.

He moved over to the door and grabbed ahold of the door knob, jerking it open another few inches. “Good night, Alli.”

Alli paused for a fraction of a second as she brushed past him. It wasn’t going to be easy getting used to being dismissed by Jason.

Fighting against every piece of herself that wanted to collapse into his arms, she settled for a quiet, “Good night. See you tomorrow.” and walked out into the darkness.

Jason closed the door softly behind her. His half finished canvass caught his eye, and he went over to it. Alli’s eyes peered back at him, full of admiration. He gently traced the curve of her cheek. With a heavy sigh, he took the painting from the easel and slid it into the vertical rack.

“Margot! You’re never going to guess who I was just with.” Alli was clutching her phone like a vice.

“Mrs. Stone.” Said Margot in her best know-it-all voice. “I called earlier and Greg told me you had gone to lunch with her.”

Alli rolled her eyes despite the fact that Margot couldn’t see her. “I meant
before
that.” She said in exasperation.

“Well, you said to guess who you were
just
with.”

“MARGOT.” Alli shouted. “I’m being serious.”

Margot sounded adequately contrite. “Sorry. So tell me. Who were you with?”

Alli took a deep breath. “Jason.”

“Jason who?” Margot sounded confused.

“
Jason
Jason.” Alli answered.

There was silence on the other end of the line, then, “Are you serious? You found him? What happened?”

Alli was pleased to hear her sister sounding as breathless as she felt. “Technically I found him five days ago.” She answered. “But I didn’t get to talk to him until today.”

“WHAT?! You found him five days ago and you didn’t think to call me?”

“I was in shock. I didn’t know what to do. He was so angry and cold. It was every bad thought and nightmare I had ever feared actually happening in real life.”

“That bad? What did he do?” Margot was captivated. She had already forgiven Alli her secret.

“He told me I was dead to him and to get the hell out. Well, maybe not in so many words, but the sentiment was there.”

“Oookay. Well, we had prepared for that kind of reaction. So what made him talk to you today?”

“Greg.” Alli cringed as she said Greg’s name.

“Allison Wilson, stop dragging this out and tell me what the hell happened!” Margot had lost all patience. How on earth had Greg become involved in all this?

Alli quickly explained how Greg had bought the painting that started her searching again, and how he had ultimately commissioned a portrait from Jason, not knowing of Jason and Alli’s past. “He goes by Ogden now.”

“So he works with Greg’s mother? What are the odds?” Margot was blown away. “So now what?”

Alli sighed a deep sigh. “I don’t know. We kept getting interrupted, but he definitely seems willing to talk to me. I just need to catch him when he’s not busy.”

“But what are you planning to say to him?” Margot was choosing her words carefully.

“Everything! I want to explain what happened. I want to tell him about the deal. I want to apologize!” Alli was talking so rapidly it was difficult for Margot to keep up. “But most of all I want to throw myself at his feet and beg him to forgive me. I want him to take me back. I want to be his again, Mags.” Alli was weeping by this time.

“And Greg? How does he fit into all of this?” Margot kept her voice low and soothing.

Alli blew her nose. “I need to break up with him either way. Ellen is right. It’s not fair of me to hold on to him like this. At least if he’s free he’ll have the option of finding someone else. Someone that can truly love him. He’s a good person.”

Margot was quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of her sister snuffling on the other end of the line. “Well, do you want my advice?” She had put on her big-sister voice. “You’re probably not going to like it.”

“Yes. What’s your advice?” Alli asked in a small voice.

“Break up with Greg first. Do it now. Today. Before you go chasing after Jason. Make sure there are no obstacles in your way this time.”

Alli dropped her head into her arms on the table. “You’re right.” She said in a muffled voice. “I
don’t
like it.”