Storm Rising (27 page)

He stretched again, grimacing at the numb state of his rump.
Stone benches. How very typical of this place! Elegance without comfort

He had come to realize that he was very discontented here. He hated the feeling of eyes on him every time he ventured out of the
ekele
, and so perversely went out of his way to be outrageous. Not that he hadn’t been the center of attention back in the Vales, but the attention he attracted here was not the unalloyed admiration and indulgence he got back home. Here he was stared at because he was alien, flamboyant by the standards of these curiously dull people. When he gave vent to some strong opinion, people looked at him as if he had committed some breach of etiquette; often as not, when he inquired after something that
should
have been commonplace, they gave him looks that said clearly they thought he was out of his mind.

I miss the Vales, damn it all. I miss decent food that I
don’t
have to prepare for myself I miss my
hertasi
servants. There is no reason why I should be forced to pick up and clean after myself; there is no reason why I should have to devote a single moment to anything other than mage—craft! I am a mage—why should I do the work of a menial?
Oh, he could have servants coming in, but he didn’t want snoops from the Palace making free with his private areas.

He missed the way he didn’t even have to
ask
for something he wanted at home;
hertasi
would anticipate what he wanted without his asking. He missed the varied temperatures of all of the springs in a Vale; here he was confined to one spring of hot water and one of cold. Most of all he missed the gentle, cultivated warmth of the Vales, the unvarying climate, the presence of flowers and fruit everywhere, at every season. His own
ekele
was a poor substitute for a Vale. It was too small, and there was no way one could pretend one was alone in a wilderness.

And I am mortally weary of the prudishness of these Valdemarans. One cannot even soak in a pool without some sort of modesty covering.

He was tired of their limited diet, tired of their limited understanding, their limits upon everything except their curiosity.

I have very simple tastes. I am not asking a great deal. Just some of the amenities of civilization, including civilized behavior.

As for the reason he was here, there were no answers and far too many limitations there as well. The mage-storms were too strong, too chaotic in their effects, to respond to the magics
he
knew, yet he could not bear to admit that they defeated him. If he had all the Adept-level mages of all the Vales at his disposal, he
might
be able to concoct a shield, but that was by no means a certainty. The storms themselves came and passed so quickly he could not study them properly, and even if he could, he simply didn’t have the resources he needed.

He wanted, longed to go home, but to do so now would be to admit he had been defeated, leaving the field to those artificers An’desha was so enamored of.

Nothing in his life was satisfactory at the moment. He could not find success or contentment in his environment, his personal and emotional life, or his work. And no one cared, wrapped up as they were in themselves.

It was all so bitterly ironic!
He
had been the one they had all turned to when they needed problems
solved, but when he wanted a little attention, a little consideration, they all found other things to do.

It would have been very pleasurable to find something or someone on which to vent some of his frustration.

He rested his chin on his hand and stared into the crystal globe of the tip of the Heartstone.
Frankly, it seems to me that this land and its people owe me a great deal. If it had not been for me, Falconsbane would be secure in his sanctuary even now, waiting to find another body to seize. If it had not been for me, the mission might not even have gotten as far as the capital of Hardorn. Certainly neither Elspeth nor Darkwind would have survived their encounter with Ancar, much less made it back home to Valdemar.

So why weren’t the leaders of Valdemar falling all over themselves to make certain that he was content here? Why weren’t the people begging to be permitted to thank him? Why did they all treat him as if what he had done was his duty and no more? He didn’t
owe
these barbarians anything! He wasn’t one of their foolish Heralds, who practically stood in line for the chance to fling themselves in front of some danger!

I don’t have to be here. I could go right back to the Vales at any time. I’m the most powerful Adept they have, and even if I haven’t figured out a solution to the mage-storms yet, I have the best chance of doing so. I could have gone right back home as soon as everyone was safe in Valdemar after we got rid of Ancar and Falconsbane. I could leave this very instant. I wouldn’t even have to go home; I could go to k’Leshya Vale instead.

With An’desha obviously
not
the lifebonded mate he had hoped for, with everyone here trying to prove they didn’t really need him, maybe he
should
go.

Once I’m gone, let’s see just how independent An’desha really is!

But if he left, he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of seeing An’desha learn that he was not as self-sufficient as he thought.

But there might be a better idea.

I’ll stay. Too much is unfinished. And perhaps I can find a way to engineer something that will prove to An’desha just how much he and everyone else still needs me. And then I’ll get what I deserve!

As usual, the Grand Council chamber was too cold. Nevertheless, Karal remained in his seat after the adjournment of the Grand Council, ostensibly writing down more notes, but in reality just delaying his departure so that he could cool his temper and swallow some of his sour disappointment. Everyone else was getting out as soon as they could so that they could warm their frozen feet and noses, and he didn’t blame them. It was going to be a dreadful winter.

“I’m sorry, boy,” Jarim said in an undertone, leaning over and patting Karal on the arm in a decidedly paternal manner as he rose. “I wish there was something I could do to help you.”

Karal managed to smile weakly at his odd and newfound ally. Jarim seemed determined to make up for his hostility by displaying a fatherly interest in the young Karsite. To his credit, not only had he dropped all of his opposition and outrageous charges after that public apology,
he
no longer treated Karal as if he were still a mere secretary. They now sat side-by-side at the Council table, the only two who took their own notes rather than leaving it up to a secretary. Of course, in both their cases that was a matter of necessity; there were no secretaries conversant enough with the written forms of Shin’a’in and Karsite to listen in Valdemaran and write in either tongue simultaneously.

“I wish you could, too, sir,” he sighed. “Unfortunately, there is nothing that I can do about my youth.” There was the core problem, all right.
It
hadn’t gone away, and he was still trying to convince his superiors of that.

Jarim shook his head, the small braids in front of each ear swaying with the motion. “Perhaps it is only that among my people, men your age are found leading border-scouts, and as the fathers of families. These soft and civilized sorts see your lack of years and assume,
because
their
sons have no more sense than a green and untamed colt, you must be equally foolish, to their thinking.” He scratched his temple with a callused finger. “They also may be confusing the evidence of their eyes and the evidence of their ears.”

Karal shrugged; Jarim had summed up the entire problem most succinctly and with a surprising amount of insight. It could be, now that Karal and others were taking the time to brief him on the background of all of his fellow Councilors, that he would make a better envoy than anyone had guessed.

The Shin’a’in envoy patted his arm again, and took himself out of the room, possibly sensitive to Karal’s unspoken distress.

Though he might just be anxious to get back to his own hearth-fire. He might be a toughened Shin’a’in, accustomed to spending the winter in a tent, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the cold as sharply as any of the rest of us.

The latest twist in the situation was that the other envoys had settled into a pattern of asking Karal for confirmation from his superiors in Karse for every single suggestion, statement, or decision. They had to see his authorization for every agreement or even statements of fact. Jarim alone was treating him as an equal, but in a way that was doing him more harm than good, given the Shin’a’in envoy’s flamboyant and volatile temperament. At the moment, the only hope he had of changing anyone’s opinion of him was to impress them with his diligence. He was not particularly sanguine about his chances of success.

When everyone else, including the secretaries, had cleared out, he finally packed up his own papers and left. He headed for his rooms, which once again were a sanctuary of peace, if only a fleeting peace.

The wave of warmth met him like a welcome. He closed the door carefully behind himself, and went directly to the waiting kettle on the hob. He poured hot water—now kept ready for him at all hours by orders of the Healers—over the handful of herbs in one of the mugs waiting on the mantelpiece. He had an entire series
of those mugs lined up, refreshed every day by one of the servants. At least, thanks to the stomach-calming potions the Healers had prescribed for him, he was still able to eat, although he had given up his favorite sausage rolls and other spicy or fatty foods, none of which agreed with him anymore. At this rate, he would be reduced to living on turnips and cress.

Is it just me, is it only that they simply cannot accept me as their equal?
he wondered as the tea steeped.
Or is it an actual and calculated affront? Can it be that now that the immediate crisis is over, many of those people on the Grand Council are trying to alienate Karse?

He could not dismiss the possibility, and he was not feeling steady enough to judge whether it was a silly, childish fear or a real concern. He wished he had the ability to read thoughts that some of the Heralds boasted. He wished he had the ability to read
intent.

:I wish that I did not have to make this particular request,:
said a familiar, but long-absent, voice in his mind, speaking in a tone of considerable reluctance.

Karal spun around, hardly able to believe his “ears” and hardly daring to hope—but there was Altra standing behind him in a pool of sunlight, ears slightly flattened and tail twitching. There was a message-tube at his feet, but at the moment, that hardly seemed important.

The Firecat looked no different than he had the last time Karal had seen him; to all outward appearance, a blue-eyed, cream-coated feline with orange tabby markings on paws, ears, facial mask and tail, and thick, soft fur. Of course, there
was
one thing that marked him as out of the ordinary; his size. He easily stood with the top of his head even with Karal’s hip.

“Altra!” Karal exclaimed joyfully, relieved beyond words at the Firecat’s appearance and all that it implied.
Vkandis is not displeased with me! I have not been heretical or blasphemous! I
have
been doing what He wants here—I have not been abandoned to my punishment
—

Altra flattened his ears further, looking decidedly
apologetic.: I
am sorry, Karal. We have tried to be patient, and it is
not
your fault, but it does not seem that you are being granted the respect that you are due here. No one in Karse wanted to undermine your position or your authority, but things are getting out of hand. Would you feel terribly betrayed if Solaris took control of the situation here?:

Karal could not help himself; his jaw went slack with surprise for a moment. At last—at
last!—
the plummeting situation was going to be taken out of his hands and put into the hands of someone old enough to deal with it properly!

“Not only would I
not
feel betrayed, not only would I
not
be disappointed, I would be overjoyed,” he replied, trying not to laugh aloud with relieved gratitude. “I thought I had made that perfectly clear in my dispatches! I am here to serve the interests of Karse and Solaris, not to indulge myself in fantasies of prestige!” He finally gave way to his feelings and laughed giddily. “I cannot even tell you how happy it will make me to be able to go back to being a simple secretary again!”

I might actually have something of a real life again!

This was the last thing he was going to admit to Altra or anyone else, but this message could not have come at a better time. His enforced idleness had given him a great deal more time with Natoli than he had ever enjoyed before, and things were developing in ways he found both pleasant and a bit unnerving. He would much have preferred to be able to capitalize on that—except that once he had resumed his duties, he had gone back to the same dull round of not having enough time to spend on anything
but
duty. It had been frustrating, to say the least.

But I’m not telling Altra that! Oh, no!

The Firecat’s ears came up, and his tail stopped twitching.
:You know I promised you that I wouldn’t rummage around in your private thoughts, and I haven’t. So I really didn’t know how you would feel about being relieved of your authority.:

“Relieved is the correct word,” Karal told him, taking
his mug to the table and sitting down with the sensation that a vast weight had been taken from his shoulders. “Who is coming here as envoy? And how soon?”

:Ah—that’s the thing I was told to prepare you for,:
Altra replied nervously,
:But I’m not certain that. I
can
prepare you for it. The—person—is only coming up here to reestablish your credentials in such a way that no one will be able to treat you like a nonentity without creating a diplomatic incident. And the—person—is Solaris.: