Storm Clouds Rolling In (21 page)

She leaned back on the log, listening as the tiny waves of the James River lapped against the shoreline, interrupted only by the occasional splash of a fish jumping in search of its breakfast.
Gradually the sounds faded, replaced by the demands and questions of her heart. The events of the last two days rose in her mind to crowd out the reality of the world around her. She allowed herself to be drawn in, closing her eyes to block out any distractions. It was why she had come. Why she had gotten up so early to escape the house and Louisa’s acid tongue. Only when she was outside and alone could she really hear her heart.

Staring into the placid river, Carrie relived the day before
— the tournament and the thrill of Granite and Robert winning, the fear Robert would choose her as the queen and then the thrill he actually had. Carrie frowned as she examined this feeling. Never before had she been so intrigued by a man. Vividly, she recalled the pleasure of dancing with him, the ease with which they moved together, the feel of his hand on hers, the swirl of the music sending her to heights she had never experienced. Her frown deepened. The feelings bothered her, but she didn’t know why. They just did.

“You look much too serious for such a beautiful morning.”

Carrie gasped and started at the sound of the voice behind her. She spun around but then lost her balance and began to fall off the log. As she grabbed at the slippery bark, she managed to regain her balance but knew she looked foolish. “Oh, my…” she started to say, but then lost her voice when she identified who had startled her. She was dimly aware that her blank stare made her look even more foolish.

Robert was immediately at her side, reaching out to steady her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Carrie could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t sorry at all.
Laughter was pulling at them, and the edges of his mouth were twitching. Speechless, she stared at him for a moment. Then she laughed merrily.

Robert joined in her laughter and sank down on the log next to her.
“What a surprise to find you here,” he finally said.

Carrie heard something in his voice and looked at him closely.
She didn’t say anything—just looked.

Robert squirmed under her steady gaze.
“Okay, it’s not a surprise to find you here,” he finally confessed after a few uncomfortable moments. “I saw you leave the house this morning and disappear down the trail to the river.”

Carrie continued to look at him steadily.
She had no idea what to say to this revelation.

Robert continued
. “We’ve had so little time to talk since we met. And I have to leave today...” His voice drifted off. He shrugged and then smiled. “I simply wanted to spend more time with you, Miss Cromwell. I wanted to get to know you better. I’m afraid you may find me foolish. I hope you don’t mind.”

Carrie’s eyes widened and she found her voice.
“I don’t mind at all,” she said clearly, smiling warmly. “I’m glad you came.” Robert’s obvious discomfort had set her at ease. She would be herself. No more and no less. She was glad to see him. She saw no reason she shouldn’t say so. There would be people in the Blackwell household that would be appalled at their lack of decorum in meeting at the river like this, but it would be easy to claim it an accident if they were discovered. The chance of that was slim. She almost laughed at Robert’s visible relief that she wasn’t angry or put out. She was glad he was a little unsure of himself. It made it easier for her as she tread these unknown waters.

Robert smiled in return.
“Good. Because I still have yet to tell you how I actually won the tournament yesterday.”

Carrie waited for him to continue.
She knew Louisa would have immediately begun to pester him to tell, using her simpering ways and batting eyelashes to manipulate him. Carrie couldn’t be bothered. She hated games and didn’t want to play them with Robert.

Quickly, though without leaving out any details, Robert told the story of how Granite’s slight swerve after he had been spooked had netted him the winning ring.
“So you see,” he concluded, “it wasn’t I who won that tournament. It was actually Granite. I wasn’t even aware I had the ring until everyone started cheering.”

“He’s the best horse there is,” Carrie responded fervently.
“Although,” she added honestly, “I’m sure he had no idea what he was doing. I’m just glad he did it.” She decided not to tell him she had guessed the truth already.

Robert nodded and continued.
“Granite and I talked about it after the victory and knew that no one but you could be crowned the Queen of Love and Beauty.”

Carrie looked at the handsome man seated next to her with the proud
-little-boy look on his face and laughed loudly again. She was suddenly completely at ease. Robert was going to be a good friend. He was fun and surprisingly easy to talk to. She wasn’t going to spend any more time trying to analyze her feelings toward him. She was just going to enjoy this new friend. She thought of what her other friends would say about how a proper plantation owner’s daughter should conduct herself in the company of a possible suitor. Carelessly, she shrugged those thoughts away. She hadn’t worried before what people thought about her unpredictable behavior. Why start now?

She laughed again
, suddenly very glad Robert had found her. “I quite enjoyed being crowned the queen last night. Thank you.”

Robert acknowledged her words with a nod and then turned to her with a serious expression.
“So, Miss Carrie Cromwell. I still know so very little about you. Please remedy that.”

“I don’t know that there is much to know, Mr. Borden.
You already know I’m a fanatic about my horse and that I love to dance.” Then she smiled. “You may not care to know that in spite of the privileges of my position in society,” Carrie drew the words out for emphasis, “I have absolutely no desire to spend the rest of my days as a plantation mistress. I can think of nothing more positively boring.” She had mentioned it the night before, but suddenly it was important he know how she truly felt.

“Well then,” Robert said as if he weren’t surprised at all by her shocking revelation, “
what is it that you want to do with yourself?” He smiled as he added, “I know it’s still not really my business, but I would love to know.”

“I
—” Carrie fell abruptly silent and looked out over the water. What was she thinking? No one but Granite knew the true desire of her heart. She hadn’t been willing to talk about it the night before. Why would she suddenly want to tell this almost complete stranger?

Robert waited quietly.
Carrie was not a girl to be prodded or manipulated. If she confided in him, she wanted to do it out of her own heart and in her own time. She suddenly knew he would not push her, and her liking for Robert intensified. She realized now why she had almost told him. She wanted him to know. For some reason it was important that he know who she truly was. Not stopping to analyze her feelings, she raised her eyes to find his dark ones watching her steadily. “I want to be a doctor,” she said firmly.

Robert looked into her suddenly flushed face and determined eyes.
“What are you doing about it?”

Carrie’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You’re not going to tell me I’m crazy?”

“Should I?”

Carrie groped for words. “Most people think I should just be content to be a wealthy plantation owner’s daughter.”

“I don’t.”

“But, why?”

Robert shrugged. “No one has the right to dictate another person’s dreams.”

Carrie looked at him with open curiosity.
“Where did you learn to think like that? Was it going to school in the North?”

Robert smiled.
“I’ll answer that question, but only if you answer it for yourself as well.”

“Fair enough.”

“I suppose going to school in the North has made me change some of my ways of looking at things. The University of Pennsylvania is a fine school. They also have a highly respected medical school.”

“I know,” Carrie said quietly.

Robert looked at her and continued. “Education for women is much more accepted in the North. Or, maybe I should say, much more encouraged. I knew several women in the North who were excellent students.” He paused and looked at Carrie questioningly. “I assume you have had tutors?”

“All my life.”

“Good ones?”

Carrie wasn’t offended by his probing questions.
“The best. Mama would have been content for me to just learn how to read and write and do some figures. My father knew how much I loved learning, so he kept the tutors coming. When one was no longer a challenge to me, he would bring another one.”

“A very unusual approach.”

Carrie nodded. “Sometimes I wonder if Father regrets it. I’m not sure he likes being caught between his rebellious daughter and his traditional wife,” she said ruefully. “It must be very difficult for him.”

Robert laughed.
“I imagine it might be.”

Carrie leaned forward with an earnest look on her face.
“Tell me about the University of Pennsylvania. About the medical school. Do they accept women there?”

Robert shook his head.
“I have no idea.” He looked at her thoughtfully. “You realize how difficult what you’re proposing would be? There are very few women in medicine.”

“Yes.”
Carrie’s voice was steady, but then she hesitated. “I actually have no idea how to go about trying to achieve it. It’s a dream. Perhaps a hopeless one.”

“You have yet to tell me where this dream came from.”

Carrie smiled.
“It’s the only thing about plantation life I have any interest in. I’ve been helping Mama in the quarters ever since I was very little. Finding someone very sick and then discovering a way to make them feel better—there is nothing more exciting than that.” She paused. “But our methods are so simple. My father receives two medical journals. I read them from cover to cover every month. The things they talk about! The advances made in surgery! The new discoveries being made!” Her words flew from her mouth now as she grew more excited. “I want to be a part of all that. I want to help people.” She suddenly stopped. “I just don’t know how to go about doing it,” she admitted softly.

“Why don’t you go visit the University of Pennsylvania Medical College?
Surely they would be able to give you information. The very least you could do is write them.”

Carrie laughed.
The idea of going to Pennsylvania was very appealing, but she had no idea how she would talk her parents into it. What reason could she give that would not throw her mother into hysteria over her unconventional daughter?

Robert’s voice grew serious.
“No one but you can make your dreams come true, Carrie. If you want them badly enough, you’ll find a way to make them come true. But you have to want them badly enough.”

Carrie’s laughter died as she absorbed his words.
“You’re right,” she said slowly. “Until today, they were little more than a fantasy in my head. But saying the words—actually telling someone—has made my fantasy seem more real. It’s been something I’ve wanted all my life, but I suppose I never truly thought it could happen.” She stopped, lost in thought. Suddenly she looked up with a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Mr. Borden. You listened to me. You didn’t laugh. I’ll never forget that.”

Robert just nodded.
“Dreams are not to be laughed at.”

Carrie leaned forward.
“Enough about me. What about you? What are
your
dreams?”

Robert settled back onto the log and swung his gaze to the river.
“I love the South. The North is exciting and different. The cities are intoxicating. But nothing draws me like my home. The beauty of the fields. Watching things come to life under warm sunshine. But it’s the river...The river pulls me. I seem to find myself in it.” He turned to look at Carrie. “I wasn’t surprised when you took the trail here this morning. Somehow I knew you were that way, too.”

Carrie looked at him with full understanding.

Robert smiled and continued. “I want to expand Oak Meadows, my plantation. My brother wants to leave, I think. Abe wants to live in one of the bigger cities—probably Richmond— and build a business there. My mother and I want to stay. I want to see the plantation grow. I want to make all the improvements that have had to wait for so many years. I want to see the plantation thrive again the way it did when my daddy was alive. Now that I’m done with school I can make it happen.”

“What happened to your father?” Carrie asked.

“He died.”

Carrie was taken aback by the sudden flash of fury that tightened his face.
She would ask no more. It was apparent he didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m sorry.”

Robert lapsed into silence, staring out over the water.
Long minutes passed. Carrie wasn’t uncomfortable with the silence. She didn’t believe there always had to be words. Quietly she waited, until most of the tension drained from his face.

“What did you think of our elderly neighbor last night?” she finally asked.