Stones in the Road (21 page)

“One more time and I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap!”

“Well, he does! Look at him!”

“What?” I asked.

“I’ve seen the future, and it ain’t pretty,” Mary said. “Uncle Wiley, you done broke your face.”

“It’s cool,” Eli agreed. “Two black eyes at once!”

“Is he going to be all right?” Josh asked, his small face full of worry and a bit of fear.

Apparently I looked pretty bad.

“He’s going to be fine,” Jackson said.

As the boys had never seen him in his scrubs, Jackson was now the voice of medical authority and certainty.

“Are you a doctor?” little Eli asked.

“I’m a nurse,” Jackson replied.

“You can’t be a nurse. You’re a boy!”

“Some nurses are dudes,” Josh said. “Don’t be a dumb butt, you booger-breath idiot.”

“Are you okay, Wiley?” Shelly asked, frowning imperiously at her children.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Where’s Noah?”

Shelly lowered her eyes, seemed uncomfortable.

“Where is he?” I pressed.

“He’s with Bill in the waiting room. We didn’t think it would be a good idea for him to see you.”

“Why the hell not?”

“He’s been a little….” Her voice trailed off.

“Wiley, don’t get upset,” Mama said.

“Noah’s a nutjob,” Mary announced. “He threw such a hissy fit this morning we were on the verge of calling the police. A complete psycho.”

“He was upset,” Mama countered.

“I want to see him,” I said.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Jackson said.

“He was out of control,” Shelly added. “It took us an awful lot of time to calm him down this morning. We thought he was going to kill himself, the way he carried on. And you’re in no condition—”

“I want to see him,” I said firmly.

“Told you,” Mary said, glancing at her mother.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” I added.

Shelly was very reluctant.

“Please,” I said to Jackson. “I want to see my son.”

“If he gets upset, he’s going to have to wait outside,” Jackson warned.

“Wiley, please,” Mama said. “Don’t push it.”

“I want to see my son!”

Mama looked at me, sighed rather heavily. “I’ll go get him. But if he starts acting up—”

“Please, Mama. I want to see him.”

Noah was sitting in the waiting room with Bill. Mama went to fetch them.

Noah took one look at me and started bawling. Mama tried to comfort him, but Noah shrank away from her.

“No die, Daddy!” Noah shouted at me, in a sudden, furious, confrontational rage. “No die! No!” He pointed his finger at me accusingly, his hands trembling, his lips trembling, his whole body on fire with anger.

I motioned for him to come to me.

“No!” he exclaimed, waving his hand back and forth. “No die! Why, Daddy? Why?”

“Maybe you’d better take him away,” Mama said to Jackson.

“Leave him be,” I said.

Noah opened his mouth, groaned. “Aaaaahhhhh! Huh! Haaahhhh!” He was frustrated that he couldn’t say what he wanted to say.

I motioned for him again with my good hand, but he stood there, tears streaming down his cheeks, bewildered, angry, confused, and out of his depth. He stared at me as if trying to decide whether I was real.

“Come here,” I coaxed, waving my good hand at him.

“Haaaaah!” he moaned.

I smiled an encouragement. I was in a lot of pain, and I wondered briefly what I would do if he decided to beat on me.

“Come here,” I said again.

“No, Daddy. Why? Why, Daddy? Why? Haaaaah!”

I motioned again.

He began to blubber incoherently. He carried on for a minute or two, refusing to let anyone touch him, his eyes fixed on me and filled with bitter, bewildered grief.

“What the hell?” Bill said, annoyed.

“Give him a minute,” I replied. “He’s confused.”

Your daddy is fine
, Jackson signed.
I know he looks bad, but he’s going to be fine
.

Mama stepped forward and, very slowly, very gently, took Noah’s hand.

I motioned again with my good hand, but he merely stood there, shaking his head back and forth.

Are you okay
? I signed.

I hate you!

No you don’t.

Yes I do! Why, Daddy? Why?

What’s wrong, sweetie?

I hate you!

No you don’t. You were scared. I was scared too. But it’s okay now, sweetie. Everything will be all right now
.

“What is he saying?” Mama asked.

“He’s scared. Leave him alone.”

Why do you want to go away
? Noah demanded angrily, emphasizing his anger by the abrupt, tense way he signed.
I hate you
!

I didn’t mean to, but I started crying.

Don’t say that
, Jackson signed.

It’s true
, Noah insisted in his stubborn fashion.
I hate him! And I hate you
!

He keened in the back of his throat and suddenly turned on his heel and bolted from the room.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” Bill muttered as Jackson hurried after him.

“Wiley, why are you crying?” Mama demanded. “What did he say?”

I closed my eyes, could not answer.

“Kids, why don’t you go back to the waiting room?” Shelly suggested.

“That little brat is such a psycho,” Mary offered.

“Shut your mouth, Mary!” Shelly snapped.

“Well, he is!”

“There’s a time and a place, Mary! Please! Honest to God!”

“Whatever,” Mary said in a tone of long suffering.

“Take your brothers and go to the waiting room and do it right now! I’ve had enough of your shit, Mary Cantrell.”

“You don’t have to swear, Mama.”

“Just do what your mama says!” Bill snapped.

“All right! Jeeze! Come on, you booger-eating brats.”

The silence after their departure was not altogether unwelcome.

“Wiley?” Bill said. He sounded very close to me now. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “You all right, bro?”

I shrugged.

“What did he say?” Mama wanted to know.

“Nothing,” I whispered. “Where’s Papaw? Is he all right?”

Bill looked across to Mama, who turned away, her shoulders hitching with sudden sobs.

“What?” I asked, alarmed. “Where is he?”

Mama burst into tears and hurried from the room.

“Is he all right?” I asked.

“I’m going to tell you, but first I have to tell you what the nurse told us. You’ve got a fracture on your cheekbone.”

“So?”

“You’re not supposed to be crying or getting upset, because the bones could come apart, and then they’ll have to do surgery. So you need to just relax and take it easy.”

“What happened to Papaw?”

“Just don’t get upset.”

“Billy, tell me what happened!”

He didn’t answer straightaway. Instead he merely looked at me for a long moment, his eyes saying everything I needed to know. They were my brother’s eyes, and I knew every nuance and shade of meaning and immediately saw the truth of things, though I did not want to believe it.

“He didn’t make it, bro,” Bill said, reaching out to take my good hand. “Now, don’t get upset. Too much crying and carrying on and you could—”

“What do you mean, he didn’t make it?”

“He didn’t make it,” Bill said softly.

“Didn’t make what?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry about what? Billy! Jesus Christ!”

“He’s dead,” Shelly said flatly.

I looked at Bill for confirmation.

Bill shrugged.

“He’s dead?” I repeated softly.

“Now don’t get upset, bro. For once in your frikkin’ life, will you please listen to me? The nurse said to breathe out through your mouth so you don’t put pressure on the bones in your face…. You don’t want to make things worse than they are.”

A bitter grief swept through me, followed by agonizing tears that I was helpless to prevent.

How could Papaw be gone?

I felt like my whole word had just collapsed.

A nurse was summoned, who injected something or other into my IV line. I wanted to ask what it was, but I fell asleep instead.

“H
EY
,” J
ACKSON
Ledbetter said when I opened my eyes.

It was dark.

“How you feeling?” he asked, touching my face tenderly.

I was feeling lost and rather confused, so I said nothing.

“Noah went home with Bill and Shelly,” he said. “He was really upset, but he’ll be fine. I took him to see Doctor Kemmer this morning.”

I’d forgotten about Noah’s doctor visit.

“And?” I prompted.

Jackson shook his head, shrugged.

“And that means?”

“That means I’m not his father, and they won’t tell me anything,” Jackson said. “In other words, we’re not related. I’m not family.”

“But they know who you are.”

“They do?”

“Of course they do. Don’t they? You work with them!”

“I haven’t really said much….”

“You didn’t tell them about us?”

“I wanted to, but… they’re so conservative down here. I thought it was better to just keep my mouth shut.”

“Dr. Kemmer didn’t think it was odd that you took my son to see the doctor?”

“I told him we were friends and that you were a patient here, and I was trying to help you out because your son had an appointment.”

“You work with the man!”

“I know.”

“And you didn’t tell him that we’re engaged to be married and that you’re going to be Noah’s father too?”

“No.”

“So what did they do?” I asked.

“A lot of tests. Blood work. Physical exam. They asked me to translate.”

“And?”

“Kemmer was asking a lot of questions about his home life. Was anything going on? Was anyone hurting him? Anything he wanted to tell him? Anything that was making him scared? Stuff like that.”

“So?”

“The way Noah kept looking at me while I translated for him….”

“What about it?”

“I don’t know, Wiley. It was awkward. I could tell he wasn’t being truthful.”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“You tell me.”

I regarded him in silence for long moments. Why would Noah want to hide things from Jackson Ledbetter? Unless, of course, the things he was hiding were about Jackson Ledbetter himself.

“I think Noah has a problem with me, but he doesn’t want to say what it is.”

“What kind of problem?” I asked.

“How would I know? I asked him afterward. He pretended like everything was fine. But I could see he was nervous. He’s hiding something. I used to think we were pals, but now… I don’t know. I must have done something to make him mad, or something that upset him, or something that he doesn’t want to tell me. So you’re going to have to ask him, find out what it is.”

“But the bed wetting, the headaches, all the rest of it?”

“We’ll find out when the tests come in, I guess.”

“Kemmer didn’t say there was a physical problem?”

“I got the feeling that Noah is pretty healthy. There’s nothing physically wrong with him, at least nothing immediately obvious. They’ll look at his blood work, the other tests. He’s scared, Wiley. I know enough about kids and the other patients I’ve seen to know that.”

“Why would he be scared?”

“I don’t know.”

I thought about Noah and Keke and their secret signs, their odd, secretive laughter, the mischievous looks in their eyes when they were together.

“I can tell, from some of the things he’s said, that Keke has been filling his head with… something or other,” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“Noah asked me the other day why he was deaf, and he said Keke told him I’d be mad if he asked. I had the feeling someone told her about
Crack Baby
.”

“Oh,” Jackson said.

“Maybe she told him about me and Kayla smoking meth,” I added. “How she got pregnant. The birth defects. All that stuff.”

“That
would
be upsetting,” Jackson admitted.

“So maybe he’s mad at me,” I added.

“Maybe,” Jackson said. “But he could also be mad at me for something. And then again, maybe there’s something else going on somewhere that we don’t know about. We’ll get to the bottom of it.”

We regarded each other for long moments in silence.

“Are you on your break?” I asked.

“I’m off duty. I told your mama I’d stay with you so she could go home and take a rest. She was exhausted. Bill’s taking her to the funeral home in the morning to make arrangements for your grandfather. I’m so sorry about that, Wiley. I know you loved him a great deal. I never understood why, of course, but that’s another story.”

“He was my papaw.”

“I know.”

I looked around the hospital room, feeling the need to get up, take a pee, join the land of the living.

“Take it easy,” Jackson warned.

“I need to pee.”

With Jackson’s assistance, I eased myself out of bed and stood, the tile floor cold on my feet.

“See?” I said. “I’m still not dead.”

“You could have been,” he pointed out rather bitterly. “Why the hell did you go back into that house?”

“I was trying to save my papaw. I would have done the same for you or Noah or anybody else.”

“I know,” he said, pursing his lips unhappily. “But you could have made Noah an orphan. And me a widower. And since we’re not married, I would have lost custody of Noah to your family. And even if we were married, your brother would have taken him away from me.”

I hadn’t thought about that.

“On the other hand, you probably saved all our lives, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. Why your mama had that shelter locked on a day like that, I’m sure I don’t know.”

“She’s a little ditzy sometimes,” I admitted.

“A little?”

“At least she’s not the reincarnation of Satan like your mother is,” I pointed out.

“True enough.”

“Are your parents okay?”

“They were shaken up, but my mom’s got a great story to tell now—she can’t wait to get back to Boston and tell all her friends about it. My dad wasn’t quite so happy. He wants to cut their visit short and go home.”