Stone Solitude (35 page)

“You came all of this way to warn me?” Roman asked in amazement, oddly touched by his friend’s gesture. Of course, Roman had been a mess when he had woken up and at the time he had tried keeping his distance from everyone. But he was doing better now, in large part thanks to Xavier.

“It was the least I could do,” Xavier said, which was ridiculous because Roman was so far in the man’s debt that he’d never dig himself out. But Xavier was the type of wolf who didn’t keep score, because that was just who he was. Xavier hesitated a heartbeat too long and Roman knew he had more to say. After a moment, Xavier continued in a halting manner, “I’m not sure if you’re ready or not but I think it’s important for you to be there. It’s important to establish connections to other packs.”

“Then I’ll be there,” Roman said easily, in the back of his mind the ever-present hope that
she
would be there. It was ridiculous and irrational but there it was. A slight smile tipped his lips at the fanciful thought even if he still wasn’t convinced she was real.

Xavier chuckled as he clapped Roman on the back. “That’s what I like about you, son, your willingness to dive right in without hesitation.”

Even though Xavier had called him ‘
son
’ a million times, it still surprised him and pleased him in equal measure. There was also a twinge of pain because he didn’t know who his father was, if the man was still alive or if he was long gone. He didn’t know if there were people out there looking for him or if he was all alone in the world. It had been Xavier who had taught him how to let go of the past and move forward, saying that if his past was meant to be remembered, it would happen and not to force it.

Strangely, Roman took comfort in the words, in the knowledge he had made peace whether or not he remembered. Well, mostly. There was still the girl. She was the only reason he hadn’t completely moved on. Maybe once the snow became so high that it was impossible to go very far, he’d take one of the females up on their offers. It would be nice to share body heat with someone over the long, frozen winter.

Why the possibility of spending the cold nights wrapped up in the arms of a warm woman caused him to nearly fall to his knees in despair he didn’t know. Ignoring the disquiet in his gut, he cleared his throat, “When are they expected to arrive?”

“A few days,” Xavier answered, his hazel eyes studying Roman like they always did. “So make sure you head back in time to get cleaned up. You’re starting to look a little ragged around the edges.”

Roman scrubbed his fingers through his heavy beard and laughed. He had forgotten about the golden scruff that covered half his face. It had itched like mad when he first started growing the damn thing out but after the previous winter with no facial hair…. Well, he would take any extra layer of warmth he could get. “I’ll shave when the snow melts. Maybe.”

Xavier cringed but he was quick to hide the reaction and Roman wondered if there was more to his visit than Xavier was saying. “I have industrial grade clippers. They won’t chew up your face too badly, at least not enough to scare any of the ladies away.”

“I’m not shaving,” Roman grinned. Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper even though they were alone in the wilderness, he added, “And if I decide to take one of the females to mate, it won’t matter how hairy or chewed up my face is.”

“With that confidence, you should be the Alpha,” Xavier grinned.

Roman sat back and shook his head no. “I’m just learning how to take care of myself. There’s no way in hell I could lead a pack. At least, not yet. Give me a few years.”

Xavier tossed his head back and laughed, his long silver hair gleaming in the sunlight. “Should I warn Henderson to watch his back?”

“Not yet,” Roman said. Staring out over the horizon, not seeing the beauty that usually brought peace to his soul, he asked, “Do you think I have family out there?”

Xavier hesitated a moment before he said, “It’s a possibility.”

Roman nodded, accepting the weak answer without dwelling on it. Licking his lips, he glanced at Xavier out of the corner of his eye and asked, “Do you think I had a wife? Children?”

Xavier hesitated even longer before he shook his head no. “I don’t think you had either.”

“Then why do I dream about a girl who seems more real to me than I do?” he asked, watching as Xavier swallowed thickly. He hadn’t said anything before because he didn’t want Xavier to think he was mad for chasing after a dream. But now, he needed his mentor’s advice. “My dreams are coming more frequently, to the point that sometimes I don’t know whether or not I’m still sleeping. And when I wake up, I ache with longing for her. I miss her and she doesn’t even exist.”

Xavier muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “Perhaps you’re more ready than I thought.”

“Pardon?” Roman asked, not quite certain he heard correctly.

“Nothing,” Xavier said with a wide smile as he pushed himself to his feet. Being a wolf had become so second nature to Roman that he hadn’t even noticed that the old man had been naked the entire time. While Roman was absurdly comfortable in his own skin, in fact it seemed almost as if it was his natural state, it was too damn cold not to bring clothes. How the old wolf handled the icy wind on his nether parts was beyond Roman and not something he wanted to spend too much time contemplating. “I should get back. Think about getting cleaned up, son.”

With that, Xavier shifted into a gorgeous silver wolf that looked far younger than the man had been. With a happy yip, the beast loped out of there with a youthful gait, taking to the treacherous terrain with ease. Stroking his beard, Roman stared out over the fiercely beautiful falls and mused over Xavier’s words. But no matter how hard he tried, she seeped into his thoughts with her beckoning smile, making his heart lurch in longing.

Had she realized just how freaking cold Alaska was going to be, Daisy definitely would have asked if the favor could be put off until summer. Despite spending an extra week in Hawaii trying to build up an immunity to the cold, and to heal, she was still unable to deal with the frigid weather. And it was only November. Shivering inside of the heavy down parka, she could barely breathe as she followed the guide to the tavern-slash-hotel they were going to be staying for the next two weeks. Even her brother and Jeanette were feeling the cold as they cuddled as close as their coats would allow. Daisy had accepted, or very nearly so, the fact that she might never know the warmth of her wolf, which would have really come in handy in Alaska.

The only bright spot was she had a legitimate excuse to decline the Alpha’s proposal. That is if he decided he liked what he saw and he wanted her for his mate. After the incident with Jon, her parents had been adamant that she should skip Alaska and return home. But her dad was right when he had asked the favor of her; it was important to establish lines of communication between the two packs. Besides, after what happened in Hawaii, she wasn’t ready to face her parents, especially since they’d be so damn understanding and supportive. Surprisingly, she was healing remarkably fast so maybe she wasn’t a complete wash as a wolf. Just as a Siren, a lover, and person.

“I bet this place is an awesome run as a wolf,” Dominic called out, his words freezing in the air.

Unable to think through the frozen sludge of her brain, Daisy merely grunted while their guide grinned, “It is that, my boy! Miles of pristine wilderness, as far as the eye can see.”

As long as the eye didn’t mind being frozen
, Daisy mumbled to herself. But they were right and if it weren’t for the cold, Alaska would be perfect. Maybe she’d visit during the summer months and explore the savage beauty when it was warmer.

The guide opened the door to the tavern and a blast of warm heat came from within. Daisy sighed in relief, already unzipping her parka before she fully entered. “Heaven.”

“Stay awhile longer and your blood will thicken up,” the guide chuckled.

“I doubt my blood will ever be thick enough,” she returned with an easy grin, pushing the hood off her head and getting her first look at the rustic tavern. It was very utilitarian, with wood paneling and pillars and plenty of bar stools and tables for the locals. There weren’t a lot of frills but it had a huge fireplace with a glorious fire burning and giving off tons of warmth. Her feet automatically made their way over, hoping to thaw out before she did anything else.

“Do you want something to drink?” Dominic asked from the bar, sliding onto a stool next to Jeanette.

“I’m good,” she called back, pulling off the mittens from her hands with her teeth. It was still early enough in the day that most of the town was working but she knew that eventually they’d all make their way to the tavern. At least, that was what the guide had told her. Since her brain was frozen, she never quite got his name and she felt stupid asking him to repeat it. She’d just ask Dominic or Jeanette once they went up to their rooms.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in the warmth, feeling it reach the deepest, coldest parts of her body. Maybe she would just stand in front of the fire all night and thaw out completely. The other patrons shouldn’t mind too much since most, if not all, of them were wolves and probably didn’t need the extra warmth.

“Here,” a rough voice said. Looking over her shoulder, she saw an old man standing there, watching her with an inscrutable expression. He had long, silver hair and a million wrinkles and although he was a stranger, there was something familiar about him. At her questioning look, he nodded towards the chair and offered a smile, “You’ll be more comfortable if you sit.”

She smiled as a wave of warmth that didn’t come from the fire moved through her. Sitting down, she murmured, “Thank you.”

Instead of leaving her, he grabbed a second chair and sat down right next to her, effectively blocking out the rest of the bar for a private conversation he apparently wanted to have. Lowering his voice, he leaned into her space, “It’s good to see you once again, my dear girl.”

Tilting her head to the side, she studied him a little more carefully and gasped when she saw his eyes, his uniquely hazel eyes. Covering her mouth, she leaned closer and whispered, “Apollo?”

His answering smile was all of the confirmation she needed. At once, she started looking around the mostly empty bar, knowing that if Apollo was here, his son had to be close by. The man chuckled, “He’s not here, Daisy. Not yet. I’ve come to ask for my payment.”

Her head jerked around and her eyes clashed with his. Licking her lips, she asked, “What do you want?”

He smiled a sad smile as he murmured, “Be kind to him.”

Her forehead furrowed and she arched an eyebrow, “Pardon? Why wouldn’t I be kind?”

“Here’s the thing,” he said, not quite meeting her eyes. “He was a mess when he woke up….”

“Understandably so,” she murmured, guilt still twisting her guts because she wasn’t there when he finally woke up since Apollo had taken him and she had no idea where he was. Hence the many, many trips. Anger mixed with the guilt as she glared at the man who stole her Roman away.

“Easy now, pet,” he said with a wry grin, holding his hands up. “If you had been there, it would have shattered him. We’ve discussed this.”

“No,” she countered. “You simply told me that was what would happen and you didn’t give me a chance to convince you otherwise. You might have been wrong, you know.”

“I wasn’t wrong,” he said, his words sympathetic. “Only, I might have… miscalculated the amount of time it would take him to heal.”

Her eyes narrowed and even without her wolf, she could have ripped his throat out for keeping her from Roman.

“Daisy, calm yourself,” he chuckled. “Taking him away from you was the right thing to do and I stand by that decision. However, unbeknownst to everyone, your wolf apparently claimed him when you bit him. He burns for you but he doesn’t think you exist. All I am asking is for you to go slow. And to be kind.”

“I have been searching everywhere for him….”

“I know and I have shielded him until now,” he interrupted, holding her eyes, giving her the briefest glimpse of the power he kept well contained. As she bit back a retort, he continued, “I’ve heard about your adventures, Daisy, including your little interlude in Rome.”

“I see,” she said carefully, trying to tamp down her own fury so she didn’t piss off the god. She was already healing from one wound, she didn’t need any more.

“I don’t think you do,” he countered. “Your encounter led to a very interesting conversation between myself and Remus.”

“How so?” she asked, curious despite the fact that she wanted to talk about Roman.

“It seems that while Remus has no memory of ever having a twin, he remembered his conversation with you, though he should have forgotten anything pertaining to Roman.” He gave her a moment for the words to sink in and when they did, her eyes widened. “Remus is… not in a good place right now.”

“Because of me?”

“Because of Isis and what she did to Roman,” he corrected. “I’ve kept Roman’s location a secret – for now – but Remus can be tenacious. If he decides to track down his brother, I have no doubt he will succeed.”

“Why is that a problem?” she asked, though she already knew the answer. Roman had no memory from before and seeing his face on another man, on his twin, might be too much.

“Roman is not the same man you once knew,” Apollo continued gently, glancing around the nearly empty bar to make sure they weren’t being overheard. “I’m not sure what his reaction would be if he were to see his face on another man. Hell, I have no idea what his reaction will be when he sees
you
.”

“I’m not leaving until I’ve seen him,” she said quietly but firmly. All of her pain, her agony, her doubts and fears, disappeared in the awareness that Roman was
here
. Giddy excitement drowned out everything.

“I’m not asking you to,” he countered, popping the balloon of fury that was trying to well up inside of her. “I’m just warning you that it might not be… pleasant.”

“You said he burns for me,” she whispered furiously, trying to understand the warning.

“He does,” Apollo confirmed. He caught his lower lip between his teeth as he leaned even closer, nearly tipping over his chair and falling into her lap. Deliberately, he spoke the next words very carefully, “But he’s not the same man you once knew.”

“You said that,” she ground out, frustrated with the conversation. Frustrated with knowing Roman was close but still too far away. Apollo looked at her as if willing her to understand and when she did, her eyes widened in disbelief, “You’re afraid I won’t love him.”

With a heavy sigh, he leaned back in his chair and nodded his head once.

“It hardly matters if I love him or not if the other thing you said is true,” she scoffed, refusing to even consider the possibility of not loving Roman. Her heart trembled in her chest as
she
leaned into
his
space, “If my wolf claimed him, he’s my mate and there’s nothing any of us can do.”

“Has anyone told you that you are very stubborn?” he asked, a slight smile playing about his lips.

“On occasion,” she answered slowly, not sure what to make of his sudden mood change. Lowering her lashes, she asked, “Is he a good man?”

His eyes, his eloquent hazel eyes, spoke volumes so before he even said anything, Daisy already knew the answer. “Yes. I am proud of the man he has become.”

“Then why do you think I’ll be… unkind?” she asked, tilting her head to the side in bewilderment.

“I don’t want to take any chances, not with Roman.” Leaning back in the chair, crossing his hands over his stomach, he stared into the fire as he continued in a soft, distant voice, “I’ve made mistakes when it comes to my sons. I’ve done things I’m not proud of and I no longer wish to be that man.”

“But you’re more than a man,” she whispered.

His lips quirked up into a quick smile, there and gone, before he continued, “I wasn’t able to protect Roman when he was younger so I’m doing what I can now. I don’t want to see him get hurt and if you hurt him, I will break the bond you unwittingly made when you bit him.”

Slowly, her eyes blinked as she took in his words. “You can do that? You can break a wolf bond?”

“Yes,” he said with a grimace. Grinding his teeth together, he glared at her as he bit out, “It’s painful but it can be done. And if that is what you wish….”

“No!” she denied quickly, shaking her head in emphasis. Pressing her hand against her stomach and the rumbling of nerves, she said vehemently, “God, no.”

The hardness in his features softened as he relaxed once again. “Okay.”

Studying him, she asked, “You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?”

“More or less,” he admitted.

“Are you the one that arranged a meeting between the Alpha and me?” she asked, waving her hand around the bar, wondering for the first time why she hadn’t met the Alpha yet.

“I merely suggested an alliance between the two packs would be beneficial,” Apollo said slowly, his hazel eyes dancing with laughter and mischief. “And I might have suggested that the eldest Tremain daughter was a very beautiful woman. Is it my fault the Alpha jumped to the wrong conclusion?”

“The conclusion you wanted him to jump to,” Daisy grumbled, impressed with Apollo’s meddling even though it was her life he was meddling with.

“It got you here, didn’t it?” he asked smugly.

“You could have simply told me you had Roman,” she ground out.

He smiled at her, “And what would have been the fun in that?”

“Why?”

He gave her a brilliant smile and murmured, “I’m a god.”

After a moment, letting her temper simmer down because he
had
brought her to Roman, she asked softly, “He doesn’t know who you are, does he?”

“Of course not.”

“Will I see him tonight?” Giddiness washed over her and through her but she didn’t give any outward indication that she was dancing on the inside. She was going to see Roman again. After all of this time, he was finally close enough to practically touch.