Stone Bruises (3 page)

Lowering the sheet, I try to recall what happened between my stepping in the trap and waking here. There’s nothing, but now other memories are presenting themselves. Caught in the wood, hitch-hiking and abandoning the car. And then I remember the events that led to me being here in the first place.

Oh, Jesus, I think, passing a hand over my face as it all comes back.

The sight of my rucksack leaning against an old black rocking horse snaps me out of it. Remembering what’s in it, I sit up. Too quickly: I close my eyes, fighting a wave of nausea as the room spins. It’s only just begun to fade when I hear footsteps approaching from below. Then a section of the floor gives a loud creak and swings open.

An arm pushes the trapdoor back, and then a woman steps up into the loft. I’ve seen her before, I realize; at the farmhouse with the baby. Which settles the question of where I am, if not why. She hesitates when she sees me.

‘You’re awake,’ she says.

It takes a moment to register that she’s spoken in English. Strongly accented and a little halting, but fluent enough. Feeling rough stone behind me, I find I’ve backed myself up against the wall. One hand has gripped the sheet into a sweaty knot.

I make myself let go. She stops a little way from the bed, which I’ve realized is just a mattress lying on the floorboards.

‘How do you feel?’ Her voice is low and quiet. She’s wearing a sleeveless shirt and well-worn jeans. There’s nothing threatening about her, but the sluggish computer of my brain seems stalled. My throat hurts when I try to speak. I swallow, try again.

‘My foot …’

‘It was badly cut. But don’t worry, it’s all right.’

Don’t worry? I look around. ‘Where am I?’

She doesn’t answer straight away, struggling either to understand the question or formulate her answer. I repeat it, this time in French.

‘You’re at the farm. Where you came for water.’ Her voice is more fluid in her own language, but there’s still a hesitancy about it, as though she’s vetting herself before she speaks.

‘Is this … it looks like a barn?’

‘There’s no room in the house.’ Her grey eyes are calm. ‘My sister found you in the woods. She fetched me and we brought you here.’

I have a fleeting image of a girl’s face, then it’s gone. None of this is making sense. My head is still so muzzy that I’m not sure how much of what I remember is real or delirium.

‘How long have I been here?’

‘We found you three days ago.’

Three
days
?

There are vague impressions of pain and sweat, of cool hands and reassuring words, but they could just be dreams. I can feel panic bubbling up in me again. I watch anxiously as she takes a twist of tissue from her pocket and unwraps a large white tablet.

‘What’s that?’

‘Only an antibiotic. We’ve been giving them to you while you were unconscious. You’ve been feverish, and the wound’s infected.’

I glance at the tent made by my foot under the sheet, all my other fears suddenly relegated.

‘How bad is it?’

She picks up a bottle from by the bed and pours water into a glass. ‘It’s healing. But you won’t be able to walk on it for a while.’

If she’s lying, I can’t tell. ‘What happened? There was a trap …’

‘Later. You need to rest. Here.’

She holds out the tablet and glass. I take them, too confused to think straight. But there’s an air of quiet reserve about her that’s strangely calming. She could be a year or two either side of thirty, slim but with a fullness of breast and hip. The dark hair is cut straight above the nape of her neck, and every now and again she tucks one side back behind an ear in a gesture that seems more habit than affectation. The only striking feature about her is her eyes, which, above the tired-looking shadows, are a dark and smoky grey.

I feel them on me now, solemn and unreadable as I swallow the tablet. I wash it down with water, first taking only a sip, then gulping it as I realize how thirsty I am.

‘More?’ she asks, as I finish. I nod and hold out the glass. ‘There’s fresh water in the bottles by the bed. Try to drink as much as you can. And if the pain gets bad take two of these.’

She holds up a bottle of tablets. On cue my foot begins to throb, the pain only a shadow of its former glory but there all the same. I try not to show it, but there’s something about the calm grey eyes that makes me think I’m not fooling her.

‘How did you know I was English?’

She answers without hesitation. ‘I looked in your passport.’

My mouth is abruptly dry, regardless of the water. ‘You went in my rucksack?’

‘Only to find out who you were.’

Her expression is grave without being apologetic. I try not to glance over at the rucksack, but my heart is thumping harder in my chest.

‘I have to go now,’ she tells me. ‘Try to rest. I’ll get you something to eat soon.’

I just nod, suddenly anxious for her to leave. I wait until she’s gone, the trapdoor lowered behind her, then drag my rucksack over. Relieved of its weight, the rocking horse nods backwards and forwards. I open the rucksack and plunge my hand inside, feeling nothing except clothes. Then, just when I’m convinced it’s gone, my fingers encounter a crinkle of plastic.

I don’t know whether I’m relieved or sorry.

The package doesn’t seem to have been disturbed. It sits heavily in my hand, its solid weight like an accusation. I should have got rid of it when I had the chance. Too late now. I wrap it in a T-shirt and tuck it back at the bottom of my rucksack, covering it with the rest of my clothes. I check that my passport and money are also still there. They are, but as I put them back my fingers touch a square of glossy card.

Not wanting to, but unable to help myself, I take the photograph out again. There’s a pain lodged under my breastbone as I look at the girl’s face smiling in the sunlight, and on impulse I grip the photograph’s edge to tear it in half. But I can’t do it. Instead, I smooth out the crease and put it back into the pocket.

Suddenly I’m exhausted. And more confused than ever. The woman didn’t really tell me anything, especially not why I’m in a barn instead of a hospital. Belatedly, something else registers. After the woman closed the trapdoor there was another noise, the solid
thunk
of metal on wood.

The sound of a bolt being shot into place.

My bandaged foot throbs as I swing my legs off the mattress. Ignoring it, I stand up and almost fall over. I lean against the stone wall, waiting until the loft has stopped spinning, then try taking a step. My foot shrieks under my weight and I pitch forward, grabbing onto the chair and causing something to rattle hollowly inside its base. It’s a commode, I realize, noticing for the first time the pressure in my bladder.

But that will have to wait. It’s obvious I’m not going to get far, but I can’t go back to bed until I know. Supporting myself on the dusty furniture stacked against the walls, I lurch over to the trapdoor. There’s an iron ring set into it. Gripping onto an old bureau, I take hold and pull. There’s a slight give, then it sticks fast.

It’s bolted.

I fight down a fresh surge of panic. I can’t imagine any reason for me to be locked up here, at least nothing good. But there’s no question of trying to force the bolt. Even if I could find something to wrench it open, just getting this far has taken everything out of me. I use the commode, glad of that small relief, then collapse back onto the mattress. I’m coated with a greasy sheen of sweat, and my head and foot are both throbbing.

I take two painkillers and lie back, but I’m too fretful to sleep. My foot is starting to quieten when there’s a soft noise from the trapdoor. There’s a grating whisper as the bolt is eased back, then with a creak the hatch swings open.

It’s someone else this time, a girl. I haven’t seen her before, but as she lowers the trapdoor the play of light on her face strikes a discordant note of memory. She’s carrying a tray, and smiles shyly when she sees I’m sitting up. I hastily drape the sheet over my groin, preserving my modesty like a Renaissance nude. She lowers her eyes, trying not to grin.

‘I’ve brought you something to eat.’

She looks in her late teens, strikingly pretty even in a faded T-shirt and jeans. She’s wearing pink flip-flops, and the sight of them is both incongruous and oddly reassuring.

‘It’s only bread and milk,’ she says, setting the tray beside the bed. ‘Mathilde said you shouldn’t have a lot just yet.’

‘Mathilde?’

‘My sister.’

The other woman, of course. There isn’t much of a resemblance between them. The girl’s hair is lighter, almost blonde, and hangs to her shoulders. Her eyes are a paler shade of her sister’s grey, and the bridge of her nose has a slight bump where it’s been broken; a minor imperfection that somehow adds to the whole.

She keeps darting quick looks at me, smiling all the while. It puts engaging dimples in her cheeks.

‘I’m Gretchen,’ she says. It isn’t a French name, but as soon as she says it I think it fits. ‘I’m glad you’re awake. You’ve been ill for days.’

Now I understand why she looks familiar: the Madonna-like face from my delirium wasn’t a hallucination after all. ‘You’re the one who found me?’

‘Yes.’ She looks embarrassed but pleased. ‘Well, it was Lulu really.’

‘Lulu?’

‘Our dog. She started barking. I thought she’d seen a rabbit. You looked dead at first, you were so still. There were flies all over you. Then you made a noise, so I knew you weren’t.’ She gives me a quick look. ‘We had an awful time getting you out of the trap. We had to prise it open with a crowbar. You were struggling and yelling all sorts of things.’

I try to keep my voice level. ‘Like what?’

‘Oh, just rambling.’ She goes to the other side of the bed and leans against the rocking horse. ‘You were delirious, and most of it was in English, so I didn’t understand. But you stopped when we got your foot out.’

From the way she talks there might be nothing unusual about the situation. ‘Who’s
we
?’

‘Me and Mathilde.’

‘Just the two of you? You brought me up here by yourselves?’

‘Of course.’ Her mouth forms a playful moue. ‘You’re not so heavy.’

‘No, but … How come I’m not in hospital? Didn’t you phone for an ambulance?’

‘We don’t have a phone.’ She doesn’t appear to see anything odd about it. ‘Anyway, there was no need. Mathilde knows how to look after wounds and things. Papa was out with Georges so she didn’t want to— Well, we managed by ourselves.’

I don’t know what she was about to say or who Georges is, but there are too many other things to think about. ‘Is Mathilde a nurse?’

‘Oh, no. But she cared for Maman before she died. And she’s used to looking after the animals when they hurt themselves. The sanglochons are always squabbling or cutting themselves on the fence.’

I haven’t a clue what a sanglochon is and don’t care. ‘You didn’t even fetch a doctor?’

‘I’ve told you, there was no need.’ She sounds annoyed. ‘I don’t know why you’re getting so upset. You should be grateful we looked after you.’

This whole situation is becoming more surreal, but I’m in no position to antagonize anyone. ‘I am. It’s just … a bit confusing.’

Mollified, she perches on the rocking horse. Her eyes go to my face. ‘What happened to your cheek? Did you fall when you stepped in the trap?’

‘Uh … I must have.’ I’d forgotten the bruising. I touch it, and the soreness sparks memories that set my heart thumping. I drop my hand and try to focus on the present. ‘The trap didn’t look very old. Any idea what it was doing there?’

She nods. ‘It’s one of Papa’s.’

I don’t know what shocks me more, the casual way she admits it or the implication that there are more of them.

‘You mean you
knew
about it?’

‘Of course. Papa made lots. He’s the only one who knows exactly where they are, but he’s told us whereabouts in the woods we need to be careful.’

She pronounces it
p’pah
, two soft expellations that push out her lips. The diminutive sounds more reverential than childish, but I’ve other things on my mind right now.

‘What’s he trying to catch? Bears?’

I’ve a vague notion that there might still be brown bears in the Pyrenees, even though that’s nowhere near here. I know I’m clutching at straws, but it’s the only halfway innocent explanation I can think of.

Gretchen’s laughter kills even that faint hope. ‘No, of course not! The traps are to stop people trespassing.’

She says it as though it’s all perfectly normal. I look at my foot, unwilling to believe it even now. ‘You’re not serious?’

‘The woods are our property. If anyone goes in them it serves them right.’ Her manner has cooled, become haughty. ‘What were you doing on our land anyway?’

Hiding from a police car.
It’s starting to seem the lesser of two evils. ‘I needed to pee.’

Gretchen giggles, her temper vanishing. ‘Bet you wish you’d waited.’ I manage a weak smile. She considers me, running her fingers over the rocking horse’s coarse mane.

‘Mathilde says you’re a backpacker. Are you here on vacation?’

‘Something like that.’

‘You speak French very well. Do you have a French girlfriend?’

I shake my head.

‘An English one, then?’

‘No. When can I leave?’

Gretchen stops stroking the horse’s mane. ‘Why? Are you in a hurry?’

‘People are expecting me. They’ll be worried.’

The lie sounds unconvincing even to me. She leans back, bracing her arms on the rocking horse so that her breasts push against the T-shirt. I look away.

‘You can’t leave yet,’ she says. ‘You aren’t well enough. You almost died, you know. You should be grateful.’

That’s the second time she’s said that: it almost sounds like a threat. Behind her the trapdoor is still open, and for a moment I consider making a run for it. Then reality kicks in: running isn’t an option at the moment.

‘I’d better get back,’ she says.

The rocking horse nods violently as she stands up. Her jeans mould themselves around her as she bends to lift the heavy trapdoor. She makes more of a production of it than is strictly necessary, and the quick look she shoots my way as she straightens makes me think it isn’t accidental.