Stone - Big Girls & Bad Boys (6 page)

“Do you really believe that he’d have acted differently if I handled it another way?  Did you want to do that in person?” he asked.

“No.  But it was a...it’s going to make it worse than it would have been,” I said.  I’m not sure I believed that.  Bobby was volatile and unpredictable.  Who knows what he might have done if I’d told him about Stone in person?

“I told you last night that I had your back.  I won’t let anything happen to you,” he told me.

“My belongings are at Bobby’s.  We’ll see him at the clubhouse...unless you mean to leave the club,” I replied, suddenly afraid that’s exactly what Stone had planned.

“We’ll get your stuff.  And I don’t plan to leave the club.  The Knights have potential and I’m not going to let Bobby turn us all into gun running, drug dealing criminals.  I won’t let that asshole hurt you or destroy my club.  Remember, I’m loyal to a fault,” he assured me.  I still sulked, sure that Stone couldn’t back that up.  But he pulled me to him and held me.  That didn’t make it all better but it didn’t hurt.

“This isn’t going to turn out well,” I told him.

“You leave that to me.  Dusty’s a lost cause.  Enrique is on the fence.  The Mikes want nothing to do with Bobby and his plans.  Counting Rocky, that’s four against three.  Bobby will try to take over the club anyway.  I won’t let him,” Stone said.

“That’s nice but I wasn’t talking about the club,” I told Stone.

“Once Bobby is out of the club, he’s out of your life,” Stone said.

“How can you be so confident?  How do you know whatever you’ve got planned will work?” I asked.  Stone showed me that smirk.

“It’s me, Maria,” was all he said, that self-satisfied and overly confident smirk turning into a sexy smile.  I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said.  Stone’s smile went away.

“That’s your problem.  You deserve to be happy but you don’t believe that,” he said.  I thought that over.  I knew I should feel that way but I didn’t.  I felt like Bobby was all I deserved and sometimes I thought he was too good for me.  But as Stone held me, I knew that wasn’t true.  I just had to make myself believe it.  I just had to forget the past and look to the future.  That wouldn’t be easy but somehow, Stone made it seem like it should be.

>>O<<

Stone and I spent Sunday at his house, watching movies, grilling steaks and drinking beer.  I explored my new surroundings, getting used to the place.  There was no way I was going back to Bobby now and I had no place else to go really.  I’d better learn my way around.  But despite the fact that I was in many ways trapped here with Stone, I didn’t feel like it.

He made me feel at home.  He was nice to me but not overly so.  He treated me like I suppose anyone would want to be treated.  He didn’t overcompensate by being sickeningly sweet but he didn’t order me around either.  He was pleasant to be with and despite the dark pit I felt in my stomach as I wondered how this would all turn out, I enjoyed being with Stone.

I wondered how I had come to be in this situation so quickly.  I had gotten myself into this.  I could have turned Stone down when he asked me out but I didn’t want to.  I wanted to go out with him.  He was different and I knew it even before I knew him all that well.  I saw it in the way he carried himself, the way he listened and thought things over, the way he looked at Bobby when he demanded I fetch beers.  All of that and more made me sure Stone wasn’t your typical man.

But now, I was with him.  I wasn’t with Bobby anymore.  So, I had a new old man.  Maybe he would be better than Bobby.  But wasn’t I just another biker’s girl, with no identity of my own that mattered?  Ginger was different.  She was Rocky’s old lady, the queen of the club who held some sway within it, though there wasn’t much of a  club anymore to hold sway over.  I was just another old lady, another girlfriend of a biker, meant to be seen but not heard.  What had changed?

“Hey, what’s up?” Stone asked me as I stared out the window of his kitchen.  I was doing the dishes in return for Stone making dinner.

“Huh?” I asked him.

“You’ve been washing that same plate for five minutes,” he told me.  I looked down and realized he was right.  I rinsed it off and slipped it into the rack of the dishwasher.  I turned and leaned against the counter to face Stone.

“I’m just worried about Bobby is all,” I said.  It was a half-truth.

“Bullshit,” was all Stone said.

“No, I’m really worried about it,” I told him.

“And what else?  Me?  Those doors aren’t locked.  I want you to stay but you can leave,” he said, as if reading my thoughts.

“No, I can’t.  I couldn’t go back to Bobby if I wanted now.  My home is off-limits too.  I lived with Bobby because it was better than home.  So now I am trapped,” I told him.  Stone frowned.

“I notice you don’t call Bobby’s place home,” he said.  I wasn’t surprised by that.

“It wasn’t.  It was a refuge from my parents, my mom and stepdad.  She was so drunk most of the time she couldn’t care less about me.  When my stepdad wasn’t beating her up, he was beating me.  Bobby was a way out.  Now you’re a way out,” I said, bitterness in my voice.  I turned my anger on Stone but he didn’t deserve it.

“My mom died when I was seven,” he told me.  I was shocked and the admission stopped me in my tracks.

“I...I’m sorry,” I said.

“I didn’t say it to gain your sympathy, but thank you.  My old man became bitter and angry.  He started drinking and never stopped.  When I was twelve I found him face down on the floor, blood coming from his mouth.  I thought he was dead and I discovered I didn’t mind the thought all that much.  Turns out he was still among the living.  I drove him to the emergency room...yeah, at twelve.  Turns out the booze had turned his gut into one big ulcer,” Stone explained.

I looked away trying to process that.  It wasn’t the story that bothered me.  I was used to scenes like that.  How could Stone be so...so normal when I was so messed up?  But he wasn’t finished yet.

“I’ve been like you.  Feeling scared, feeling worthless, willing to accept less than I deserve.  I hit the streets when I was fourteen and never looked back.  Those were some rough years but I learned something.  Life is short and every minute spent doubting yourself because your parents didn’t do their job is a waste of time.  I’m loyal to a fault,” he said.

“I’ve heard that,” I replied.

“Yeah, well there’s a reason for that.  I don’t want to be like my old man.  I don’t want to live life steeped in anger and pain.  I want to have fun, I want to enjoy the people around me but most importantly, I want love.  I want to feel passionate about my life.  I want to love someone else as fiercely as my old man loved the bottle.  When I look at you, Maria, I don’t see just a beautiful woman.  I see a reflection of myself, someone that gets me...or has the potential to,” he finished.

“I’m so scared, Stone.  I’m scared of Bobby but I’m more afraid of being alone.  I’ve been alone my whole life.  Bobby was better but not much.  I don’t remember the last time I spoke to someone like this.  Ginger maybe.  The club is my family...or at least the only family I have, such as it is,” I admitted.

“You don’t have to be alone.  You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be.  You don’t need me or the club.  But you’ve got both.  So it’s time to fight for what you want.  It’s time to stand up to Bobby and fight to keep him from turning the Knights from a motorcycle club into a prison gang.  We can do it together,” Stone told me.

I let those words sink in.  I hadn’t really fought for anything in my life.  I let events have their way with me.  I drifted from one bad situation to a slightly better one.  But that didn’t mean I didn’t have dreams.  I never would have guessed I wanted to be in a motorcycle club but I loved it.  I loved the atmosphere and the camaraderie. I love the lifestyle.  Bobby was the part I didn’t like and I didn’t want him to destroy what Rocky and Ginger had built.

Once, the Knights had been one of the storied clubs in Southern California.  Now they were a collection of oddball bikers that didn’t fit in anywhere else.  Bobby wanted to be an outlaw.  He wanted power and instead of earning it, he was going to steal it from Rocky.  Each of the members had their own reasons for being a Knight but at least a few of them wanted what I wanted, what Stone wanted.  The freedom being a biker provided.

“You’re right. I’ve been letting my past and Bobby rule my life.  He showed me this life but I won’t let him take it away.  We need to fight for what’s ours and keep assholes like Bobby from burning it to the ground.  We need to go get my stuff and we need to get it now,” I told Stone.  His attitude was infectious.  I couldn’t deny my past but like Stone, I didn’t want it to define me.

“That’s a girl.  I’ll be right behind you.  Can I assume we’re bringing your stuff back here?” he asked though it was a confirmation of what Stone already assumed.  I hadn’t said one way or another.  Stone told me he wanted me to live with him.  Bikers weren’t much on romance and honestly, I didn’t really mind.  Romance was overrated.  Stone got right to the point without all the pretense and that made me feel good.

“Until something better comes along,” I teased.  Stone showed me his smirk and I smiled back at him.

“You don’t have to worry about that.  I’m as good as it gets,” he told me.  Cocky SOB.

“We’ll see.  Now shut up and take me to the garage to get my car and then follow me to Bobby’s,” I said.

“Yes, ma’am,” Stone replied playfully.  I was a better person around Stone.  I felt better about myself, stronger and more confident.  He didn’t supply those qualities, however.  He just brought out my inner strength.  I saw myself through his eyes and found I liked what I saw.  Without the dark filter of my life up until that moment obscuring who I really was, I found a woman that I always knew was there but rarely came out to play.  No more.

>>O<<

It was as if Bobby knew we were coming.  He was at the Knight’s clubhouse and was waiting as Stone and I climbed off his bike.  I could tell there was as much tension inside as there was about to be outside.  Bobby approached, his fists clenched.  Stone stood by my side, lending me support.  Bobby walked right up to me, stopping mere inches from my face.  Though his eyes were full of anger and spite, I saw fear there too.

“Everything I did for you and this is how you fucking repay me?  I saved you from your shitty life.  I gave you everything.  You’re a whore, Maria.  A slut.  You’re no better than that drunken bitch of a mom of yours.  You’re worthless,” he told me.  Stone didn’t move, waiting to see where this would go.  Part of me wished he would have cold cocked Bobby and sent him to the pavement.  But I knew I had to do this and I think Stone felt that way too.

But it wasn’t easy.  I heard it already in my head, that Bobby was right.  I was worthless.  I owed him a debt and I was a whore for going out with Stone.  I wasn’t any better than my mother and I should just give up like she did.  But I fought to ignore those thoughts.  I pushed them away and in their place, I found strength.  I glanced at Stone and he nodded subtly.  He had my back and that was all I needed to stand up for myself and fight.  But I wasn’t dumb enough to fall into the trap Bobby had set, to mix it up with him.

“I’m moving out.  I’m moving in with Stone.  You better get used to it, Bobby.  I’m not yours anymore,” I said.  I was shaking, breathless and dizzy but I also felt elated and powerful.

“I don’t want your fat ass in my house anyway,” Bobby said and whistled.  He turned and I looked past him to see a buxom blonde with fake tits saunter out of the clubhouse.  She walked right up to Bobby, slipped her hand under his arm and stroked his chest.  She glared at me, daring me to say something.  She was sure she had stolen a prize from me.  She couldn’t have been more wrong.  I glanced at Stone again and he wore that smirk.

“I see you’ve already found a new pet to fetch you beers and listen to your incessant rantings,” I said to Bobby and then looked at the girl.  Poor thing.  I hoped she was stronger than she looked. “Good luck, honey.  You’re going to need it,” I said, turned and walked away.  I caught a glimpse of Stone as he followed.  He was fighting hard to not laugh out loud.  I could almost feel the steam coming out of Bobby’s ears.  That wasn’t what he wanted from me.  He wanted tears and pleading.  He got something else entirely.