Stolen (17 page)

“Hey, what are you doing here all alone?” He asks, sitting beside me, not caring about how soaked he is.

“I can’t believe they are gone Blade. Everything is gone, now I have nothing left.”

“That’s not true. You have me and my family.”

“I DON’T HAVE YOU BLADE, I NEVER HAVE.”

“I am always going to be your friend
,
whenever you need me.”

“No you’re not because your wife won’t let you. You told me that, so be nice now but in two days you will be gone and you will leave me alone to get through this.”

“Don’t say that. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I just want my family back. I want to go back two years, and I wish none of this ever happened.”

He winces at my comment before helping me up.

“Come on, you have to come back inside Em.”

“I don’t have anything to lose staying out here.” I scream.

“You have a lot to lose.”

“Well that is where you’re so wrong Blade.”

“Come on.”

“Why should I? Why should I come back in there with you?”

“You’re going to make me say it again aren’t you?”

“There is nothing to say, you have told me that many times over. Don’t pretend to care now Blade, just because my family are dead.”

“Pretend to care? Is that what you think I am doing? Fucking hell Emerson, you can’t see it can you? Can’t see why I fight so hard to move away from you? I am in love with you, you stupid little girl. I am so madly in love with you it fucking hurts but I am trapped, and I can’t change that.”

“W-w-w-what?”

I start to cry now, really cry. I fall to my knees. He scoops me up and carries me towards the cabin, when we get inside he leaves the lights out. Only the dull glow of the sun peeking through the rain clouds comes through the window.

“Blade make love to me…” I whisper.

“Now?”

“Yes, please don’t say no. I need you.”

For once, he doesn’t say no as he gently lays me down on my bed. When he makes love to me that night, for the first time it is out of pure love. I can feel it radiating from his body, he is gentle and soft, and he treats me as though I am made of porcelain. I have never felt something so incredible in my life. He strokes my cheeks, my arms, hands and face. Anything he can touch he does. When it is over, and he has cried his second release, he rolls off and lays beside me.

“Where do you think they go after they die?” I ask quietly.

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I guess it’s nice to think about them going somewhere above and being in some wonderful land with no pain, but it’s hard to believe sometimes.”

“I guess anything can be real if you believe it.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

“Yeah me too.”

“Do you regret what we just did?”

“No I don’t.”

“Why is it different this time?”

“Thinking of losing you… it scares me because I don’t want to lose you, being with Cassie is still a form of loss because I can’t be with you and it hurts a lot. For once I don’t want to feel that loss, I just want to be with you for this moment.”

“But you have to go back?
” I whimper.

“You know I do.”

“Why are you trying so hard for a marriage with a girl you don’t love?”

“I don’t know. I was brought up to cherish these things; I don’t just marry someone and then give up. I have to try.”

“But haven’t you tried?”

“Things aren’t so bad between us…”

“Do you think it’s wrong to get divorced?”

“I do, I think when you have picked someone to marry you should try until there is nothing left.”

“And you don’t think it’s wrong to stay married when you love someone else?” I say and he groans.

“I see your point Em, but I have to try, can’t you understand that?”

“What about me and you… and this?”

“I wish I had an answer, but I don’t. The thought of being with you, it scares me a little.”

“I scare you?”

“Not you. Just being with you, you’re so young, and you don’t know what you want in life. You have so much opportunity to make something of yourself, and I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want you to be with me and limit yourself.”

“But you have so much opportunity too Blade, you’re not destined to be a husband and sit around doing nothing forever.”

“I know that, but you might want to travel, see the world and do all those wonderful things.”

“And you can’t do that?”

“Well I guess I can. You know what I mean.”

“I am not so sure I do…” I say quietly.

“You make some good points, and I know what you are trying to do. But there is so much holding us back, maybe that’s a sign.”

“Well when you are looking at all these things holding us back. I am looking at the things holding us together.”

“Go on…” He whispers.

“Well we have been through so much yet somehow we always come back to one another. Even if we are fighting we are showing passion, in some way shape or form. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“I never thought of it like that.”

“Maybe you should.”

“I don’t want you to wait for me forever Em, I want you to move on. Then when I think about you being with someone else I get mad and jealous. To expect you to want me forever and to keep doing this, it isn’t fair. Not to mention I am hardly making a go at my marriage when I am sleeping with someone else. It’s not right on every level.”

“But your marriage ended. She left you alone with nothing, now she has come back. That can’t be considered trying too hard.”

“I know…”

“Do you love her?”

“I wish I did.”

“But you don’t?”

“No. I care for her; I wouldn’t want to see her hurt, but I don’t love her.”

“I hate that you are doing this.”

“I have to.”

“I don’t see the point, you don’t even love her.”

“That is where you and I are so different and our age difference shows.”

“Maybe but I still don’t see the point.”

“One day you will.”

“Maybe…” I sigh and stare at him, touching his hair and stroking his face “I miss you Blade every day. I know I say that so much but I want nothing more in this world then to wake up next to you every morning.”

“I know believe me; I think about it.”

“Can I ask something?”

“I guess.”

“Do you have sex with her?”

“Aw Em. That’s not a good question; you won’t like the answer.” He whines a little.

“Alright so you do,” I whisper, my chest is clenching, but I have a point. “How does it feel?”

“Where are you going with this?”

“Just answer me…”

“It feels okay, why?”

“Is it passionate and warm?”

“No.”

“So for the rest of your life do you want to be with someone you can’t even make love to without feeling passion?”

“Not really but like I said, I don’t know if I will be with her forever. Just for now I have to try.”

“If that’s your outlook on things, I don’t see why you try?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well you’re not even thinking about a future, you are saying you might not even be with her forever. So you know it’s on the cards; it makes no sense.”

“I know what is happening here Em, but you’re not going to change my mind.” His lips curl into a small smile.

“Not even a little?”

“Nope.”

“What about if I do this?” I whisper, running my hands down his stomach.

“Nope.”

“How about this?” I bring my lips to his and he moans.

“Nope.”

“This?” I ask standing and dropping my sheet. He hisses.

“That makes it a little harder…”

“Then let me go on.” I murmur, getting on my hands and knees and crawling towards him.

“Okay.”

“If I did something like this,” I say huskily, sitting down beside him and putting his hands on my body “Would you change your mind?”

“I would sure think about it.” He breathes.

I do something then, that I have only ever read about; I let my hand travel down his body until I get to his erection. I have never touched a man before; he moans instantly.

“That could work.” He moans.

Sucking in a breath, I lean down and let my mouth fall over him. He hisses loudly and grips the bed.

“Jesus.”

I slowly slide my mouth down and up, down and up until he is panting above me. This is a sensational feeling, making me feel nothing but Blade in this moment. I slide my tongue around him; until he is grinding his teeth above me. He grips my head and forces himself deeper until I feel his release pulsing into my mouth. I am a little shocked, but highly aroused.

“Jesus, fuck.” He roars.

When he pulls out, I peer up at him through my hair. He stares down at me, flushed and panting.

“Alright…I take it back. You are fucking amazing.”

“Fucking amazing?” I smile.

“You make me feel so good. Everything about you feels right to me, when I make love to you it is out of this world. I could do it forever and never get tired.”

“So I make your good list then?”

“You’re the top of the good list. I have made love before, and it feels nice, but I have never made love to someone I loved so much, it changes everything about it.”

I smile, and he turns towards me “What are you thinking?”

“Just about how I wished it was real.”

“What?”

“This.”

“I know believe me I do…” He starts to say but his phone rings. He pulls it out and answers it.

“Hello.”

I can hear Cassie clearly; it is so silent in this cabin in the morning.

“Where are you Blade, I have been trying to get a hold of you?” She demands.

“I am helping Em, I told you that.”

“Yes and I told you to answer your phone regularly.”

“Well I haven’t exactly had a spare moment.”

“Why? What have you been doing?”

“Looking after a girl who just lost her whole family.” He growls.

“Have you been affectionate towards her?” She hisses.

“Well I haven’t pushed her away and told her to get lost. She just lost her family, if she wants me to hug her for a while then she can.”

“I don’t want you doing that.”

“Well for once Cass, it’s not about you. Sorry.”

“Don’t be arrogant towards me Blade; you’re in the bad books already.”

“Well then this won’t make any difference will it!” He snaps and slams his phone shut and then he turns to look at me.

“You stuck up for me.” I whisper.

“Of course I did. Mum was right about that; it’s not about her right now.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” He grins, sweeping my fringe from my face.

“You are amazing.”

“Yeah I try to be!” He smiles before he stands up and stretches
.
“Do you want me to get you anything?”

“No. I know I have to start thinking about funeral plans.”

“No, mamma
organized
somebody to do it for you.”

“She did?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, that makes things easier, I want to go back to the house.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He says warily.

“Well I think it’s my decision to make.” I say but all I can hear is his phone ringing over and over again. “Answer it Blade.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah go on.”

He grips his phone and walks out the front. I feel really bad that we have done the things we have, but I can’t help how I feel about him, it is clear he can’t help it either. He is outside for a long while before he comes back in.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah it is now.” He mutters.

“So when is Cassie coming home?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry Em, I wish I could change it.”

“You can change it.”

“Not right now, come on.
Let’s
not go over this again.”

“Well I am afraid of being alone.” I whimper, forcing back the tears.

“I am sure mamma would come and stay with you.”

“No I want you, you’re the only one who takes the pain away.”

“I’m sorry Em.”

“Don’t worry about it!”

We spend most of the day sleeping; it has been a long night and the only time I can sleep is when he is in bed with me. Feeling his arms around me helps a lot. Towards the late afternoon Nessie pops over, she has made me plenty of soup and
casseroles
.