Stipulation (5 page)

But this is
different. Since Pete, no one of the male persuasion has caused me to
blush or made butterflies dance in my stomach.

Giving him a
blinding smile, I say, “Okay… I accept your offer of
coffee. Lead the way.”

This day couldn’t
get any worse. It was a Monday after all, and it came on the heels of
a craptastic weekend. I spent all weekend vacillating between working
my ass off and moping over Matt.

I try to mentally
kick my ass over and over again for getting feelings caught up in
this strange ‘thing’ I have going on with Matt. It’s
a ‘thing’ because it’s not a relationship. We don’t
really
talk unless it’s to murmur dirty words to each
other. I mean, it’s not like we’re sharing our hopes and
dreams with one another. In essence, other than giving me
bone-melting orgasms, he doesn’t really care for me.

Why is he plaguing
my thoughts so much?

I figured coming
into work might help me take my mind off things. I mean, I was met at
my office door by Lorraine, who berated me for being five-minutes
late, and for a solid thirty seconds… I didn’t think of
Matt.

No, I thought of
putting my hands around Lorraine’s scrawny neck and wringing
the ever-fucking life out of her. But then she simmered down and
asked to see the Memorandum I had drafted for her this weekend. She
sat in her office, all prim and proper, and silently read my work.

The best possible
scenario occurred, and she looked up at me with lips thinned flat and
said, “I can use this. It’s passable.”

The vision of my
fingers squeezing her throat pushed its way back in my mind, and I
let myself succumb to the few seconds of bliss that it afforded me.

After Lorraine
trounced out of my office, I spent my time reading the articles on
biomechanical engineering that Matt had sent me. By the third one, I
was starting to understand it a bit more and wasn’t feeling
nearly as stupid.

I took a quick lunch
break and ran down the block to get a sub, eating it as I walked back
to the office. I then immersed myself so deeply back into the world
of biomechanics that I was surprised when I glanced at the clock to
see that it was almost six PM.

Logging off my
computer, I pack my briefcase up and head out. I stop by Lorraine’s
office before I leave, because she expects me to… just to make
sure she doesn’t have any other orders to parcel out. I stick
my head in and say, “I’m heading out, Lorraine. Do you
need anything?”

And I
will
punch you if you ask me to get you some coffee.

She looks up and
gives me a cougar of a smile. “No. I’m just waiting on
Matt to finish up with a mediation. He’s taking me out to
dinner tonight.”

I truly hope it’s
not that apparent, but I know my face turns an angry red because I
can feel it heat up like someone had stuck a hot iron on it.

The motherfucker
lets me blow him and can’t be bothered to buy me a meal, but he
takes Lorraine “Skank” Cummings out for dinner?

I take a deep breath
and hope my voice comes out in a neutrally calm way. “Dinner?”

“Yes,”
she gushes, reaching into her purse and swiping on some lipstick. I
notice she gets a chunk on her right front tooth, but I don’t
point it out to her. Hope Matt finds that attractive. “He
buzzed me this morning and asked if I had time for dinner tonight at
seven. I knew it was just a matter of time.”

My head is buzzing
and I think I actually may take a step toward her to strangle her,
but then I realize my anger is more for Matt than her. Though it’s
probably in everyone’s best interest if I just call it a night
and head home. In fact, I think it would behoove me to call in sick
for a few days, because I really don’t think I can handle this
right now.

Turning around so
she doesn’t see the look on my face, I manage to grit out,
“Well, have a nice time tonight.”

She actually has the
lame temerity to say, “Toodles.”

I’m pissed,
hurt, and really pissed. I stomp down the hall and, as I round the
corner to the lobby, I’m brought up short by the surreal visage
of seeing Matt standing with two other lawyers, talking quietly. And
not just any lawyers… one of them is Cal Carson.

The conversation
looks to be heated, even though they are talking quietly. Cal is
holding onto a briefcase, and Matt has his arms crossed over his
chest. The two men are glaring daggers at each other.

I start up my walk
toward the lobby doors when I hear Cal say in surprise, “McKayla!”

Turning, I briefly
take in his happy smile, and notice Matt’s frown turning
deeper. Because I’m pissed at Matt, I give my most radiant
smile to Cal as he walks over to me, and I don’t spare Matt
another glance. “Hey, Cal. What are you doing here?”

Cal and I had
actually had a great time over coffee. He read my Memorandum, gave me
a few pointers, but overall pronounced it worthy of Lorraine’s
scrutiny. Then we spent another thirty minutes just chatting about
our lives. We got along extremely well, and I almost thought he was
going to ask me out on a date. But he didn’t. Instead, he
suggested we swap business cards, promising to call me for lunch one
day. I wasn’t sure if that would be considered a date, or we
were just doing a business type of meal.

Regardless, I really
hadn’t given much thought to Cal since then because I had been
so mired in my dark thoughts over Matt.

“I just
finished a mediation with Matt. As usual, he kicked my ass today.”

“Well, you
can’t win them all,” I tell him in commiseration. I don’t
dare look over at Matt, but I can see in my peripheral vision that he
is standing there watching us.

“So… I
was going to send you an email tonight to see if you wanted to get
lunch one day this week. Are you free?”

It’s time to
make Matt pay the price of using me as his sex toy and taking
Lorraine out to a nice dinner. I know Matt heard Cal ask me to lunch
because I could tell his posture became more defensive. I make sure
I’m just loud enough when I tell Cal, “I’d love to.
After all, we had such a good time on Saturday.”

Cal’s smile
becomes even bigger but, before he can even respond, Matt stalks over
to both of us and says, “If you’ll excuse us, Carson, I
need to talk to McKayla about an urgent matter on a case.”

Matt doesn’t
even wait for Cal to respond, but takes my elbow and starts ushering
me back to his office.

When Matt opens his
office door and pushes me inside, I finally tear my elbow away,
spinning around to confront him. “What is your problem? Pulling
me out of the lobby and manhandling me to your office like you own
me?”

Glaring at me, Matt
says, “What the fuck are you doing with Carson? You were with
him Saturday?”

Part of me wants to
give him enough innuendo about Cal that he’ll think I screwed
him, but I really don’t have that in me. I hope a bit of
honesty on my part may get Matt to open up to me. “Not that
it’s any of your business, but I met him in the law library and
we had coffee. He helped me out with a Memorandum of Law.”

I can see Matt
visibly relax, and I know without a doubt that he thought I had slept
with him. Pressing the advantage, I ask, “Where were you this
weekend since we’re… you know… all sharing and
shit?”

His eyes cloud over,
and his face becomes a mask of steel. “None of your business.”

“What? You
demand to know what I was doing, but you don’t share what you
were up to?”

“That’s
right. I’m twisted that way,” he sneers, taking two steps
to bring himself flush with me. “Stay away from Carson. He’s
bad news.”

I start to step back
from Matt but his hand snakes out and slides around my waist, pulling
me up against him. My hands come up and slap flat against his chest,
trying to push him away. I’m tired of his caveman routine, and
I’m furious he won’t tell me where he went this weekend.
I know it won’t do any good to press the issue, but I’m
not going to let him try to seduce me with hot touches. My body is a
complete traitor when it comes to Matt.

Pushing hard, I
finally break free from his grip, only because he chooses to let me
go. The fight, though, is far from over. “You can’t tell
me what I can and can’t do. It’s a two-way street. I have
no say so in your plans, then you have no say so in mine.”

“I do when it
comes to Cal Carson. He’s off limits.”

“Off limits?”
I start to screech, and then lower my voice so we aren’t heard
outside of his office. “You want to talk about off limits, how
about you taking Lorraine out to dinner tonight? She’s in her
office right now getting all dolled up for your date with her. Let me
make the same proclamation you’re making about Cal. She’s
off limits. Stay away from her.”

Matt’s
eyebrows rise up, and a devious grin slides across his face. “Are
you jealous?”

“Doesn’t
matter if I am or not. You say I can’t see Cal, well, I say you
can’t see Lorraine. Cancel with her.”

The grin fades from
Matt’s face, and he’s deadly calm when he says, “Not
going to happen.”

“What? You
won’t even consider my feelings?”

“Not where
this is concerned. It’s none of your business.”

“Then Cal is
none of your business. We’re even.” I want to punctuate
my statement with my patented ‘neener’ move, but I know
that would be too childish.

Matt lunges at me,
and I’m caught off guard. I try to take a step back to avoid
his clutches, but he seizes me nonetheless, grabbing onto my
shoulders and pulling me close. “You’re trying my
patience, Mac. Words don’t seem to work on you. Let me try
something else.”

I know it’s
coming, and I’m powerless to stop it. Matt’s mouth is hot
and wet as it covers mine and I open willingly to him, my body going
pliant and melting into his. I can feel his erection burning through
both layers of our clothes as he grinds it into me. He commandeers my
mouth, makes it his slave. I fall deeper and deeper until my fingers
are curled tightly into his clothes to keep from falling.

Matt has complete
and utter control over me in this way, and there’s something
niggling at the back of my head, trying to surface. I try to forget
the sensations of his tongue swiping against mine, and the feel of
his hardness against me. What is it?

Oh yeah, it comes
ringing through loud and clear.

You are a
doormat, and he’s walking all over you!

With all the mental
and physical strength I can muster, I tear myself away from his kiss.
He’s so surprised that he releases me. He’s breathing
hard, his eyes dark and fevered. I know I look the same, and it takes
every bit of strength I possess not to leap back into his arms.

“Enough,”
I pant. “Stop doing that to me. I’m not your puppet.”

“You are if I
tell you to be,” he taunts with silky smoothness.

Taking a deep
breath, I let his last comment pass, trying to reason with him one
more time. “Listen… I won’t see Cal if that is
what you want, but I want the same thing with Lorraine. I don’t
want you taking her to dinner tonight. Are we agreed?”

Matt is shaking his
head in the negative, and he confirms his position with words. “I’m
taking Lorraine out to dinner tonight. I can’t cancel. But then
I’ll be over to your apartment after.”

My heart sinks. I’m
not asking for much—I know I’m not. I’m even
willing to let go the fact he won’t tell me what he did this
weekend. I’m just asking he cancel one measly dinner date, and
he can’t do that for me. The only thing he cares about is
getting in my pants tonight after God only knows what he’s
going to do with Lorraine.

With a clarity that
is as crystal as it gets, I know that my time with Matt is at an end.
My feelings are too involved, and it can’t just be sex for me.
Squaring my shoulders, I give him a sad smile… but my resolve
is firm. “Then I’m sorry, Matt. This freak of a fuck show
is over.”