Still Waters (13 page)

He should feel relief and satisfaction. Instead he felt like ripping someone’s head off. A few hours alone might have solved the problem, giving Jake time to figure out what was bugging him and put it to rest. Unfortunately, plans for the fishing expedition had been made a month in advance and he didn’t want to disappoint the only fishing buddy he had. Besides, he couldn’t have given a reasonable excuse for canceling.

Now, as Ben stared him down, Jake wished he had been able to come up with one. The man had a knack for sensing the moods of those around him, even if those moods were well hidden. And Jake wasn’t all that sure his were. “You gonna stare at me all day?”

“Just trying to figure out what’s eating you, friend. No need to get testy.”

“I’m not testy.”

“No?”

“No.”

Silence enveloped the boat again and Jake knew Ben was waiting for him to speak. His friend’s gaze remained steady as Jake selected a lure, baited the hook and cast his line.

With a sigh, Jake gave him part of the story. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Just having a bad day after a long night.”

“I heard about Tiffany Anderson’s trouble. Is that what kept you up?”

“Partly. I have night patrol this week so I would have been up anyway.”

Ben sent a look in Jake’s direction as he baited his own hook with a worm. “Look, I don’t want to pry.” He paused, smiled and started again. “Well, actually I do. Why don’t you just tell me what’s bugging you? I might be able to help.”

“It’s complicated.”

“So? Sharing might make it seem less so.”

Jake considered Ben’s words, knowing his friend wouldn’t push for an answer as surely as he knew the man would be on his knees later, praying for the unspoken request. “I made a mistake last night. I regret it but I can’t take back what’s already been done.”

“That’s usually the case.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m afraid I gave someone the wrong impression. And maybe hurt this person in the process. That’s what’s bugging me. I can’t shake the guilt.” Jake ran a hand through his hair and stared out across the lake.

“This is about Tiffany, isn’t it?”

Jake glanced over at his friend and saw both compassion and curiosity in his eyes. “Yes. I don’t know what it is about that woman, but she seems to have an affinity for finding trouble.”

“And you always happen to be around when she finds it.”

It wasn’t a question, but Jake answered anyway. “More often than not. If I didn’t know better, I’d think God was purposely throwing us together.”

“Maybe He is.”

“Not unless He’s into cruel jokes.”

Ben’s eyebrows went up at the comment. “I don’t see why it would have to be a joke. Tiffany is an attractive, in
telligent woman. She no longer has ties to Brian McMath. I think she’d suit you perfectly.”

“I don’t think so.” Jake’s tone was sharper than it needed to be, but the conversation had taken a twist he hadn’t intended.

“You’re not attracted to her?”

“That’s not the issue.”

Ben reeled in his line, put down the rod, and turned to face Jake. “Something is going on here that I don’t understand. If you want to enlighten me, fine. But don’t use me to work off whatever frustration you’re feeling.”

Jake felt his anger rise and then deflate. “Sorry. I’m short-tempered and my attitude stinks.”

“You can say that again.” A smile took the sting out of Ben’s words. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, do you want to tell me what mistake you made with Tiffany? Or should I guess?”

“I kissed her.” The words were out before Jake could think better of them. He watched as myriad emotions passed over Ben’s face.

“I think I understand. You kissed Tiffany and decided afterward that it was a mistake. Now you’re afraid you might have given her the wrong impression, that she might think you have more in mind for your relationship.”

“Yes and no. I kissed her. I regretted it. I’m not worried about her thinking I want more from the relationship. I explained that the kiss was a mistake—”

“You actually told her that?” Ben’s eyes were wide with amazement.

“Yes.”

“And she let you live?” Ben didn’t try to hide his broad smile.

Jake could feel his mood lifting, and his own lips curving
in response. “Can we stop joking about my problem and get to the part where you help me work it out?”

“Okay. Sorry. It’s just that I still don’t understand why Tiffany is such a problem to you. Even knowing you kissed her doesn’t change my perspective much. She’s mature enough to understand and put it behind her.”

Jake nodded, wondering if
he
was. “I know, but I don’t want her to think she’s the kind of woman that a man can just toss away. After Brian’s quick recuperation from their breakup, I’m afraid what happened between Tiffany and me might make her think she isn’t desirable.”

“It sounds to me like you care an awful lot about a woman that you say you want nothing to do with. Maybe you should get to know her better, give a relationship with her a try.”

“Tiffany deserves someone who can offer her the things she wants most—marriage, children, a house filled with love.”

“Jake, I don’t see how what you and what Tiffany wants are mutually exclusive.”

“I’m not getting married again. Ever.”

“Not even if the right woman comes along?”

Jake didn’t say that he was afraid she already had. “I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t repeat the mistake I made with Sheila. I don’t plan to change my mind.”

“Change is part of life. If we don’t change we can’t grow. If we don’t grow, we stagnate and die. Part of changing is reevaluating the way we view the world. Maybe it’s time for you to do that.”

Jake shook his head. If only he
could
change his mind, undo the past, wipe the slate clean and start fresh. But he couldn’t. “How I feel won’t change. I made this decision long before I came here, long before I met Tiffany, but it’s a decision I still stand by.”

“When you married Sheila you were both young. Neither of you were Christians. You can’t base who you are now on what you did back then.”

“Maybe not, but I won’t take a chance. Not when Tiffany’s the one who’d be hurt.”

“Just Tiffany?”

Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Both of us. But she more so. She’s still got dreams. I gave up on mine a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t make new ones. You’re a new person, Jake. Made that way by Christ, not by your own effort or desires. Maybe it’s time to start thinking about your life in view of that.”

“Maybe.”

Ben eyed Jake thoughtfully for a moment. “You know you’re limiting God, don’t you? Why not step out of the driver’s seat for a while and let Him lead?”

Jake didn’t respond. Ben was right. No doubt about it but Jake’s heart refused to believe what his head accepted as truth. He shrugged by way of response and cast his line into the water.

“Think about it, Jake.”

“I will.”

“Good. So, any leads on Tiffany’s intruder?”

“A few. Mostly speculation. When we finish here I’m going to interview a few teens and talk to their parents. Then I’ll talk to Tom, see if he’s willing to give me names.”

“You think he’ll be more willing now?”

“It’s doubtful, but worth a try. And now that you’ve reminded me of my duties,” Jake glanced at his watch, and at the sun hanging low on the horizon, “we’d better head back.”

“Right. I’ve got some visits to make tonight, as well.”

“Hospital visits?” Jake spoke as Ben started the boat motor.

“Yeah. Marta Reynolds had a minor stroke last night. She’s doing well, but her husband is a wreck. I’m going to do shift duty so he can get some rest.”

“Sounds like we’ve both got a long night ahead of us.”

“A quiet night for me. Should be interesting to see if yours proves the same.”

Jake nodded, but didn’t comment. Compared to D.C., almost every night in Lakeview was quiet. Though if he couldn’t find the person responsible for the break-in at Tiffany’s, things might not stay that way. The knowledge spurred him on as he helped Ben tie the boat to the dock, and hurried to his truck. He’d find the kids responsible for this summer’s trouble. Only then could he be sure that the break-ins and vandalism would stop.

And only then could he be sure Tiffany would be safe.

T
he last thing Tiffany wanted to do after a hectic week was attend another bridal shower. How many had she been to this year? Five? Six? The worst part being that there was no wedding in
her
immediate future.

She bit back a sigh of frustration and hefted the shrink-wrapped basket she’d prepared for the occasion. She should have ridden a bike. Then she wouldn’t have had to park her car at the public dock. Now, after a half-mile walk in heels, Tiffany was hot, tired and ready to go home.

Unfortunately she hadn’t even reached the party yet.

She shifted her grip on the gift and glanced at her watch. If she didn’t hurry she’d be late. Worse, Joy Worther, the bride-to-be, might drive down the long gravel driveway and spot Tiffany struggling along with the bridal basket. She increased her pace.

After what seemed an eternity, she rounded a curve in
the driveway and spotted the large colonial that Joy had grown up in. Though Tiffany had visited several times in the past, the size of the house always amazed her. It stood boldly in the middle of acres of green lawn and had been one of the more prestigious addresses in the community for years.

The shower would be an all-out affair. One with games, prizes and all the trimmings. There would be cake and food and talk of the wedding and the honeymoon. Tiffany grimaced as she thought of the festivities. When she’d received the invitation a month ago, she’d been sure she would attend as a soon-to-be-wed woman. Instead she was going as the local spinster.

Not that she minded. Much.

She liked Joy. They’d been friends since college and Tiffany had no intention of letting her own sour mood ruin Joy’s party. Besides, she figured the shower activities would keep her mind off Jake Reed. Though she hadn’t seen him in a few days, thoughts of Jake and the kiss they’d shared took up too much of her time. Tiffany was determined to refocus her energy.

She hoisted up the package and glanced at the house. Faces peeked from behind heavy drapes and Tiffany smiled and nodded. She was wondering if one of the ladies would think to come and help her carry the basket when the sound of a car engine filled the air. The half-dozen women who watched her progress gestured wildly, pointing behind Tiffany and then to the trees that lined the driveway.

Obviously they were telling her to hide.

Tiffany took a firm grip on the heavy basket and dove behind the nearest tree, just as the sound of tires on gravel heralded the bride-to-be’s arrival. Tiffany held her breath and waited for the car to pass.

It didn’t.

She pressed closer to the rough bark of the tree, and wondered how long it would take for the story of how she’d ruined Joy’s surprise to spread. She’d lay odds it would be all over town before she even left the shower.

“Is everything okay, dear?”

The voice held the trembly quality that sometimes accompanies age, and Tiffany peeked around the tree to see who was speaking. A shiny blue sedan had pulled up beside her hiding place, and the kindly face of Eva Murphy peered out from the passenger side window. With her white hair pinned in a prim bun and pink blush applied to parchment-thin skin, she looked every inch of the librarian she had once been.

Smiling, Tiffany stepped away from the tree. “I’m fine, Mrs. Murphy. I thought you were Joy.”

“No. Joy is still at the church with her mother setting up for the wedding reception. I dropped off the flower arrangements and came straight here. Such a lovely idea, don’t you think? Surprising her with a shower the day before her wedding.”

“It certainly does make it easier to surprise her. She’s probably so caught up in preparations she doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“You’re right about that. Her mother is having a difficult time trying to get her to leave the church.”

“I imagine I’d be the same way.”
Not that I’ll ever have to worry about it.
Tiffany shoved away the thought and stepped away from the tree, smiling at the woman who’d presented her with her first library card. “I’m glad I didn’t ruin the surprise for her.”

“You’ve always been such a thoughtful young lady.” Mrs. Murphy’s faded blue eyes lighted with pleasure. “What a lovely basket. Another one of your creative gift ideas, I suppose?”

“I’m afraid so.” Tiffany grinned. She was well-known for finding creative gifts and presenting them in artistic ways.

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with this time. It looks heavy, Tiffany. Do you need a hand with it?”

“No, I’m fine.” The words were said on a grunt as Tiffany’s high-heeled foot skidded on gravel and her ankle twisted painfully.

“Of course you’re not. Those shoes aren’t made for gravel roads. You’re going to kill yourself if you’re not careful. Come. Get in the car. Sheriff Reed can drive us both up to the door and carry our packages in for us. You know he rents the rooms above my garage? Such a kind young man, and so helpful.” Eva turned and smiled at Jake.

Tiffany took the opportunity to step away from the car. “Um, I don’t think that’s necessary. It isn’t far to the house and…”

Tiffany’s words trailed off as the driver’s side door opened and Jake stepped out. “Mrs. Murphy is right. Gravel and high heels don’t mix.”

Before Tiffany could think to protest, Jake had taken the basket from her hands and slid it into the back seat of the car.

“Thanks, but I really can walk the rest of the way.”

“Stop being stubborn and get in the car. Otherwise we’ll
all
be jumping for the trees. Joy and her mother will be here any minute.”

Though the words were spoken without reproach, they galvanized Tiffany to action. Stiffening her spine she marched the last few feet to the car, ignoring the ache in her ankle. “I am
not
stubborn.” She shot the words over her shoulder as she slid into the back seat.

“Sure, and grass isn’t green.” Jake grinned down at her, his eyes both amused and wary.

“Mine isn’t. I haven’t watered it in a week.” Grabbing her skirt, Tiffany yanked it out of the way as Jake shut the door.

Her ankle was beginning to throb and Tiffany glanced down, eyeing the swollen flesh.

“Is your ankle okay?” Jake spoke as he pulled the car up to the house and Tiffany raised her eyes, meeting his gaze in the rearview mirror.

“It’s fine.”

Liar.
Tiffany heard the words as clearly as if Jake had spoken them aloud. But he hadn’t, choosing instead to shoot a knowing smile in her direction before stopping the car.

As Jake gently extracted Mrs. Murphy from the front seat and led her up the wide verandah steps, Tiffany pulled the basket from the seat beside her. She had no intention of waiting for Jake’s return. Though he seemed able to treat her with the same easy camaraderie they had shared from the beginning, she couldn’t seem to forget their kiss. Avoiding the man was much easier than the effort she had to put into acting natural when she was around him.

“Don’t even think about it.” Jake’s voice rumbled close to Tiffany’s ear and she jumped, almost dropping the basket. “You’ve already nearly broken your ankle. There’s no way I’m going to let you carry that thing up the steps.”

“What about Mrs. Murphy?”

“She’s in good hands.” Jake gestured to the house where several women had converged on the elderly librarian and were helping her up the last step of the verandah.

“All right, I guess this
is
a little awkward.” Tiffany handed over the basket, ignoring the warm tingle that traveled up her arm as Jake’s fingers brushed hers. Anxious to escape the man who elicited such strong feelings, Tiffany moved toward the house, trying hard not to wince as pain shot up her leg.

Jake fell into step beside her. “I thought you said your ankle was fine.”

“It is. I just twisted it a little.”

“Let me see.”

“No—” Tiffany started to protest but a handful of women stood watching from the open door of the house, their eyes curious. If she argued too much, she and Jake would be fodder for the gossip mill before the day ended. With a disgruntled sigh, she dropped down onto a wide whitewashed step and raised the hem of her skirt to display the injured ankle.

“That was easy. I thought you’d put up more of a fight.” Jake’s voice was low, his words meant for her ears alone, as he bent down and eyed Tiffany’s ankle.

“And have the entire population of Lakeview discussing us?” Tiffany’s whisper came out a hiss as Jake pressed a finger against her bruised flesh.

“And me looking at your ankle won’t do that?” Jake put the basket down and pulled off her shoe.

Tiffany winced, sucking in a breath. “No, you’re the sheriff. Everyone saw me fall. They’ll figure it is your sworn duty to look after me. On the other hand, if I protest, they’ll wonder what’s gotten in to me and figure maybe there’s something between us. After all, we’ve been seen together more than once already.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No, I just don’t want people getting the wrong idea.”

Jake’s eyes met Tiffany’s for a moment, a shadow of something she couldn’t name flashing through his eyes. Then he handed her the shoe and stood. Raising his voice he spoke loud enough for the small crowd of women to hear. “You were right, looks like you just wrenched it. Nothing’s broken.” Extending a hand, he pulled Tiffany to her feet. “You’d better get inside before Joy comes.”

A murmur of excited voices followed the comment and Tiffany’s mood turned even glummer than it had been. The last thing she wanted was to spend hours with a group of happy, enthusiastic friends. If she’d had any choice in the matter, she’d have stayed home and moped. Instead, she pasted a smile on her face and turned toward the group of chattering women.

“Tiffany?” Jake moved beside her, the basket still held in his long-fingered hands.

Tiffany turned to meet his gaze and froze at the emotion she saw there. Sadness, regret, loneliness. She recognized them all. Lived with them all. “Yes?”

“I need to talk to you about the break-in at your house. Can I stop by later? Or would you rather come to the station?”

“I don’t know how long I’ll be here.”

“I don’t go on duty until eight tonight. I can drop in at the beginning of my shift.”

Clearly he wanted her to know the visit was purely business. Tiffany accepted his words with a brief nod. “That’s fine. I’ll be home.” Without another glance in his direction she limped into the house.

She spent the next two hours laughing at jokes, conversing with other women, and fielding comments about Brian and his new girlfriend. Though she put on a good show, her heart felt as heavy and dull as mud. As soon as the cake was cut, she made her excuses and left, limping the half mile back to her car even though several friends offered to drive her.

She needed to be alone and she needed time to think.

When she arrived home Bandit greeted her with abandon, licking and jumping and grinning. Tiffany patted him on his head, but couldn’t muster the enthusiasm it would take to play with him.

As if sensing her melancholy mood, Bandit settled down more quickly than usual, watching through soulful brown eyes.

“Don’t worry, boy. I’m not depressed enough to forget to feed you dinner.”

The dog whined and nudged her hand.

“Are you sympathizing or trying to get me to move faster?”

Bandit whined again.

“Okay, here you go.” Moving into the mudroom, Tiffany dug a huge portion of kibble from the economy-size bag she’d bought and slid it into Bandit’s bowl. Then, leaving him to eat his fill, she retreated to her sewing room.

Quilting had always relaxed her. Always helped to clear her mind of troubles. Tiffany figured she needed both right about now. She had several pieces to choose from, as she’d started four new projects as gifts for upcoming weddings and baby showers. She fingered the fabric of a blue-and-white double wedding ring quilt and considered completing it. Instead she pulled out another quilt, this one in shades of green.

The pattern was one of her own design, a sunburst of dark green in the center, with bright green and gold rays shooting out toward the edges of the quilt. Complete but for the verse she’d begun embroidering in the center of the sun, the piece seemed to have motion and depth that Tiffany hadn’t planned. The gothic style lettering she’d chosen for its bold and intricate beauty added to the mystique of the quilt, gold embroidery thread contrasting brilliantly with the deep green of the sunburst.

Fingering the letters of the verse, Tiffany read it aloud, filling in the words she had yet to complete, “‘Be still and know that I am God.’”

Simple, almost stark in its pronouncement, the verse touched Tiffany as no other ever had. In the rush and bustle of everyday life, she found it easy to lose sight of who she was and where she was headed. Sure, she had goals and desires but in the long run, nothing mattered but her commitment to God and her relationship with Him.

It had taken her a while to realize it, but her relationship with Brian had been too much the center of her life. In committing herself to being the kind of woman Brian wanted to date, she’d hustled and hurried, worried and fretted, until she’d all but lost sight of what God wanted. Then when she’d finally realized Brian wasn’t the man for her, she’d slunk back to God like a naughty child who’d been caught playing hooky and complained that things hadn’t turned out the way she wanted.

After a few days of praying and searching scripture she’d come upon the verse and from its simple, reassuring message had finally gained a measure of peace. As a child of God she had a place with Him and a direct line of communication. All she had to do was be still and wait for His direction. Omnipotent and all-knowing, He could handle the things she could not.

With that realization came freedom. Freedom from worry. Freedom from disappointment. Freedom from all the things she’d struggled with since she broke up with Brian.

Now if Tiffany could just hold on to that feeling.

She sighed, eyeing the quilt critically. Inspiration for the design had come shortly after her breakup, and she worked on the piece every time she felt lonely, frustrated, or worried about the future. Now it was almost finished, and she still hadn’t found the peace she longed for.