Stick Shift (12 page)

“What's wrong?”

Lily frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You look like you're about to break apart. You okay?”

“Yeah. I just want to stand up and jump up and down screaming. I'm not used to sitting quietly at a race.”

Alli nodded. “I know what you mean, but damn, the view from here is much better than where we usually sit.”

“I'm sure it is.” Lily put the headphone back over her ear and listened in as Cam and his spotter talked back and forth about who was around him, where his teammate was—about ten cars back, and what they needed to do to get to the front.

At present, they had fallen back to sixth, and Cam was having trouble coming out of the corners and staying in the throttle. His car wasn't handling right, and he was having to fight it, jerk on the wheel to keep it from sliding up the track.

“They're crashin' behind ya,” H.J. said in a voice that was just a bit too excited.

8
Lily stood, her shoulders tense, her breath held. Alli stood beside her, gripping Lily's arm. Cam was well out of crash range, but Lily hated to see anyone get torn up. If it was a really bad wreck with oil on the track or a lot of debris to clean up, the officials would put the red flag out. That was never good.

Ronnie's voice was next. “Caution is out, Cam. We'll come down pit road for four tires, gas, and take out a round of wedge.”

“H.J.? Can you see if the forty-seven can stay out an extra lap before coming in? I want to get out without being blocked in,” Cam asked as the cars were coming down the backstretch into turn three.

“Yeah.”

Coming down to the commitment cone, tires smoked on many of the cars as they dropped speed to the limit of pit road and Ronnie counted him down to his pit.

“Don't lock your tires. Ten to go. Six. Four, three, two… Now, Cam.”

Cam pulled into the pit stall smoothly, and the crew went to work. Alli elbowed Lily in the ribs when Grant slid the jack under the car and lifted it up so the tire changers could do their job. Lily just shook her head at her friend.

She didn't have room to talk, though. She was so taken with Cam, had been since meeting him, and couldn't explain away how much she'd missed him last night. He'd spent the evening with his crew at the shop sharing beers and pizzas and basically camping out, and she'd tossed and turned alone in the guest bedroom at Candi's, wanting nothing more than for him to be next to her.

Grant dropped the car back to the ground and pulled the jack out. Cam started to peel out, but the forty-seven pulled in front of Cam's pit stall at the same time.

Lily sucked in her breath and called Marcus Cole all sorts of unkind names in her head.

“Shit.” Cam swerved to avoid hitting the man's car and narrowly missed T-boning another car. “What the fuck, H.J.? I thought you were going to talk to them.”

“All I can do is ask, Cam.”

87

Hoyt Jr., or H.J. as he'd been known since he'd retired about ten years back, never had much luck on the track but was one of the most well-respected men in the sport. He might not have won any races, but he knew the ins and outs better than most. Since Cam's crew was full of young, rough-around-the-edges guys, Ronnie and H.J. provided experience and guidance, and that had proven to be a successful and winning combination for Cam.

“We're good,” Ronnie said. “You didn't lose any spots, gained one. Keep your eye on the prize.” Ronnie was the voice of reason, calm and assurance. Lily had seen interviews with him and had always thought he was a good choice for Cam. She thought the same about his spotter too.

“I know, man. But shit, that could have been bad.”

“Could have, but thankfully wasn't. Let's just get our focus back.”

Lily continued to stand and watch the cars round the track. They would go green again in two laps, and she couldn't wait. Next race, she would be in the stands, screaming her fool head off, remembering the amazing weeks she'd spent in the arms of her favorite driver.

“How's my girl doing?”

She grinned when he asked, loving that he felt that way about her. He'd been good to her, good for her. They'd spent every free moment together except for last night, and if her one sleepless night was any indication, she would have many more to go when their affair was over.

Ronnie grunted. “She's still here.”

“Good.”

“Want me to kiss her for ya?”

“Do it and I'll deck you after the race. She's mine, all mine.”

Ronnie turned and winked at her. “Yeah, and she's blushing ten shades of red.

Now stop embarrassing the poor woman and start thinking about racing. We're going green out of turn four.”

8
The cars doubled up and H.J. went through who was behind and ahead of Cam. The green flag dropped again, and those same chills from before chased up and down Lily's spine. God, she loved that feeling. She got it every time Cam touched her too.

She had it bad. And as she sat down, losing herself in the race and the occasional chatter on the headset, she began to wonder if maybe she should cut things off between them. She wasn't sure just how serious he was about her, but she was old enough and in tune enough with herself to know how serious she was about him. The heartache wasn't going to be pretty. For once she was glad she lived by herself. She would be able to cry it all out without any witnesses.

Lap after lap went by. Lily watched through green flag and caution laps, not saying much, sometimes not even paying as close attention as she normally would have. Even when Alli tried to talk to her, her responses were to the point, and then she went inside herself again.

“Can we make it to the end?”

Startled out of her thoughts by Cam's voice, Lily looked over Ronnie's head at the screens above. There were five in all. They were running pit scenarios on a couple, had the race on one, car stats on another. It really was fascinating, and if she hadn't been so flustered, she might have paid more attention and asked more questions. There were less than thirty laps to go now. She couldn't believe she'd been out of it for so long. Damn. She looked over toward Alli and found her friend gone, standing down at the bottom of the pit box talking to Grant. When had Alli crossed in front of her to get down the ladder?

“No. We need one more stop. This has been a long run, our longest of the night.

How's the car feeling?”

“The gearshift is shaking pretty bad the longer we go. If we have to stop, we'll need tires.”

“You can't make it to the end on the gas you've got, and we don't want to risk a blown tire by staying out if there's a crash.”

89

“Got it.”

Ronnie looked over his shoulder at her and smiled. She smiled back. Had he realized that she wasn't all there for the last sixty or so laps? When he turned back to the screen, she sighed and vowed to concentrate on the race like a good girlfriend should. Girlfriend? What the hell?

9
Chapter Nine

Well, what do you think you are? came the little devil voice inside her head that she hadn't heard from since she had given in to dating Cam.

Not his girlfriend. That from the little angel voice who had been cursing her for the last week.

Lily was a little floored at her own choice of word. Girlfriend? Lovers, yes.

Friends, perhaps. No, definitely friends. But “girlfriend” implied something more than just lovers or friends. A queasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She considered herself his girlfriend, and she wanted him to see her in the same way.

Good Lord, the more she thought about it, the longer she spent time with him, the deeper the hole became. If she didn't try to get out soon, she wasn't sure she'd be able to.

Cam came around the fourth turn battling Jake Curtis for the lead. She was up on her feet as they crossed the start/finish line, her gaze glued to the bright blue of Cam's car. Jake beat him over the line by less than… Well, not by much. She listened as Cam cursed a blue streak. He was losing his car the longer they went without a caution, and his concern was that he would be the caution if something didn't happen soon.

Twenty-four laps to go, and in turn two, something did happen. Jake came down on Cam, and Cam slid back up the track. All was silent on the headset and in her head, save for the mantra Please be okay please be okay please be okay. Cam hit the wall at the top of the track and was rear-ended by a car that had nowhere else to go and whose number she couldn't see.

91

Cam's car was lifted off the ground as other cars behind him were caught up in the mess of metal and rubber. She felt helpless. She always felt helpless, always screaming for the safety crews to get to the crashes quickly, but there was something about knowing the driver personally, being intimately involved with him, that broke a piece of her heart. How did the wives and girlfriends and mothers and children go through this every week for ten months out of the year?

“Cam? Cam, you okay? Talk to me.”

One…two…three…nearly four seconds of silence. They were the longest four seconds of her life. “Yeah, I'm okay. Someone ask Jake if he's proud of himself.”

“Get out of the car and c'mon. Get off the track.” Ronnie tossed his pencil and glared in the direction of Jake Curtis's crew. Someone was going to be getting an earful. “Get everything together. We're done.” Ronnie stood, agitation in every jerky movement, and closed the laptop. He turned to her and took her by the shoulder.

“He's okay. Probably a little shook-up, but he's okay.”

Lily nodded numbly. Cam's car had come to a halt with the back tires off the ground and the undercarriage sitting on the hood of the forty-seven. She couldn't see him get out of the car from where she was, but looking out at the JumboTron in the middle of the field she could. He carried his helmet in his right hand, and his left was balled up in a fist. A close-up shot of his face showed he was pissed. She didn't blame him.

Stepping down the ladder ahead of Ronnie, she was met by Alli, whose arms were wide open. Lily walked right into them and almost burst into tears. It was then and only then that she realized how badly she was shaking. She knew she had to get a grip before she saw Cam. It wouldn't do to actually start crying in front of him.

“He's okay, Lil.”

She nodded against Alli's shoulder. “I know.”

9
With her arm still around Lily's shoulders, Alli walked with her behind Ronnie and other members of the crew. Normally Lily would want to see the end of the race, but not now. All she wanted now was to see Cam and then run the hell away.

She got her wish sooner than she'd expected. Rounding the corner of the break in the pit wall, he was making long, angry strides toward the garage. She knew he hadn't seen any of them, because he just kept walking until he was stopped by track officials. She wasn't close enough to hear what they said, but Cam wasn't happy and looked like he was being steered in a different direction against his will.

Ronnie stopped and turned to her, then started walking again when she and Alli got to him. “What are they doing?”

“They're taking him to the infield care center.”

“He didn't look like he wanted to go.”

“No. He just wanted to get the hell out of Dodge. If he can walk away, that's what he wants to keep doing until he's away from the track. He wasn't quick enough tonight. I've learned it's just best to let him go, let him cool off.”

“Yeah. On television he's usually already long gone before anyone starts asking about him.”

“Exactly.”

Once they reached the garage bay, Lily began to feel uncomfortable and in the way. Everyone was gathering their tools and tool carts. She needed to do something.

She didn't know if she and Alli should leave or stay or what. She voiced her thoughts to her friend.

“I don't know, Lil. Maybe we should get out of here and just meet up with them later if they still want.”

“Yeah. Let me tell Ronnie.”

“Okay. I'll go tell Grant.”

93

Lily found Ronnie at the back of the garage and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Ronnie?” He turned to her with a smile. “We're gonna go. We don't want to be in the way. W—”

“Don't you do anythin' of the sort. He's gonna wanna see you.”

“Bu—”

“No buts about it. Grant, c'mere.” He took her by the arm over to where Alli was talking to her new beau for the night. “Now, Lily, you go with Grant here, and he'll take you over to the care center. If you're the first thing Cam sees when he comes out, his mood will improve immediately.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just know. Go on now. They should be letting him loose any minute. He won't want to talk to the press, but he'll want you.”

She wasn't sure at all about what Ronnie was saying, but she went with Grant and Alli anyway. The care center wasn't but a few hundred yards away, and the press had already gathered around the exit. A few curious stares were leveled at her, but she did her best to stay focused on the door. When it opened a few seconds later, Cam walked out, already dressed in street clothes. She wanted to push through everyone and run to him, but she forced herself to stand right where she was.

He was looking around and ignoring the microphones shoved in his face, declining to even say “no comment.” His eyes lit on Grant, who took her by the arm and pulled her into Cam's line of sight. He made a beeline toward her. Then his arms were crushing her to him before she had a second to catch her breath.

He was there with her, safe and sound. He had no scratches, no marks that she could see. And he'd never looked better to her than he did right then all hot and sweaty and rugged. This wasn't the well-dressed and well-put-together man she was used to seeing. He was flushed and mad and full of fire. He was in his element, and once she was sure he was okay, she wanted to strip him, climb his body, and ride him until neither of them could walk.