STEPBROTHER Love 1 (3 page)

Chapter 5

Loren Rollins was gushing over how jealous she was that I’d gotten a full scholarship to Chapel Hill.  I couldn’t imagine why.  Her family was rich by any standard, and she was already heading off to Stanford, where she was promised a spot on the basketball team.

Her mother and father had met while attending Stanford, so Loren was a legacy.  She had even been invited to join her mother’s old sorority. 

Maybe she just wanted to have earned something.  Maybe that was it.

So I kept listening and trying not to look uncomfortable about it.

I saw mom and Paul talking out in the kitchen.  He’d practically eaten his weight in mom’s cooking, complimenting her on every new dish he tried.

As if he’d never had her cooking.  She’d cooked all the time when they were married.

A girl I’d only spoken to once while in line for lunch flitted past with a piece of my mom’s strawberries and lime ice box cake, making my mouth water, and my mental calculator—which was now up to forty-seven classmates—wondered how many of my classmates had tagged along with someone I knew, and how many just crashed.

It was an open invitation, sure.  But I meant an open invitation for my Facebook friends.

Just then I saw Joshua pulling Katie Boyd by the hand across the room toward the hallway with the master bathroom and mom and mine’s bedrooms.

Katie looked tipsy, but not as if she wasn’t ready and willing to follow Joshua wherever it was he was taking her.  Her face was flushed, and she had a dopey smile on her face.

They disappeared into the hallway and I turned and headed for the kitchen.

Strangely enough, the kitchen was empty.  Not a soul in sight.  Which should have been a good thing, but being alone made me realize that I’d wanted mom and dad to be in there, so I could comfort myself with their presence.

I mean, they hadn’t been in the same room since they split up, opting to do their divorce via their attorneys.  Paul would call when he’d pick me up, and I’d rush out to the car so he never felt he had to come inside. 

Then I spotted something strange lying on the tile floor, something silky and daffodil yellow.  I picked it up and was grossed out that they were someone’s panties… even worse, I recognized them from all the laundry I’d done.

They were mom’s!

I heard something crash to the floor over behind the pantry door.

Something told me to run.

I should have turned around and never looked back.

But I didn’t.  I walked over to the pantry door like some kind of zombie, taking the doorknob in hand.

But I stopped.

I stopped with my hand on the cool brass doorknob, my mouth feeling dry, and my mind jumbled one second, and strangely blank the next.  Like when the cable cut out.

“So what’s Princess Cali up to?”

I let go of the doorknob and whirled around.  Joshua stood on the other side of the kitchen, a cruel leer stretching his lips.

Katie Boyd stood by his side, her lipstick smudged and her hair mussed.

My mind was going through sensory overload.  I just held mom’s panties in my hand and looked over to the pantry door, my mouth open but nothing coming out.

Joshua’s eyes danced from the panties in my hand, to the pantry door, to me; his leer turning into a broad, wicked smile.

Damn, he had pretty teeth...

He let go of Katie’s hand and walked over to and then past me.  He made a show of cracking his neck, shrugging his shoulders, and then clasping and unclasping his hands, warming them up.

And then Joshua threw open the pantry door.

There, against the shelves where the Oreos and brownie mix lived, Paul had mom pinned, her pretty yellow dress bunched up around her hips, her legs wrapped around his hips.

Paul’s pants were pushed halfway down his ass, and he was vigorously thrusting his hips up into mom.

Katie gasped, and then giggled nervously.  “Are those two really having sex?”

I was horrified at what my mom and dad were doing, and that I was seeing it,
and
that Joshua had ever opened that door.

I was genuinely and happily surprised, though, that Katie had to ask whether she was watching actual sex or not.  Maybe I wasn’t the only virgin left on the planet Earth, age eighteen.

Mom and Paul didn’t even notice they were on display.  They were completely and utterly lost in each other, which was almost sweet.

Almost.

Joshua closed the pantry door with a gentle click and then turned to look at me, pulling a freaking metal flask out of his back pants pocket.

“You’re drunk?!?!” I asked indignantly.  He brought the flask up to his lips and took a long pull.

“They were really having sex, weren’t they?” Katie said, her voice getting higher with every word.

I grabbed a piece of mom’s icebox cake and handed it to Katie with a fork, sitting her down at the kitchen table.  “Here, eat this.”  Then I turned back to Joshua who had already stowed away his flask again.

He’d gotten Katie drunk, the jerk.

I wanted to slap him, punch him in the teeth, something…

But there was another thud from the pantry door, and then mom emitted a high pitched squeal.  Paul let out a raspy, satisfied moan.

Oh god…

I would give anything not to have witnessed all of that.

“Don’t have a meltdown, princess,” Joshua quipped.  “It’s just sex.”

I shot him my most withering look, which just made him smile wider.

“They were really having sex…” Katie mumbled as she ate another bite of cake.  “In the kitchen.”

“No, no, no…” Joshua said in a chiding, instructional tone.  “This is the kitchen.”  He pointed down to the floor beneath his feet with both hands, which made Katie giggle even more.  Then he pointed to the door where Paul and mom were… well, rutting like a couple animals.  “That there is a pantry.”

Just then the pantry door swung open, Paul had his arm around mom’s waist, his dress shirt tail hanging out over his pants—small favor.

Mom’s hair was mussed… kind of like Katie’s, and she was pulling down her skirt.

Joshua coughed/laughed into his fist as he walked past me.  “Better luck the second time around, right?”

Mom and Paul looked at us with beaming smiles.  “What?” they said in unison. 

I tossed mom her panties and turned around, walking out of the kitchen.  “Congratulations.”

“Were you two really having sex in there?” Katie asked as I pushed through the kitchen door.

How could so much go wrong in such little time?

Joshua was over in the corner taking another swig from his flask.  The look on his face was bemused.

I wondered when he’d started drinking.  It was a stupid thing to do.  If he got caught at school doing that it would put his playing—and thus his full ride scholarship—in jeopardy. 

And if Paul found out…

I walked outside through the side sliding glass doors.  The North Carolina sun had baked the grass and made the air hot enough to cause instantaneous sweating.  I threw back my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep, wonderful breath, and…

I was going to scream.

I should have screamed. 

I would have felt so much better just letting it all out.

But that wasn’t me.

Never would be me.

I’d eventually let it all out in therapy, someday, when my life was perfect—set—and I had time to deal with what I’d bottled up inside.

I let out that pesky breath, a little of my anger hissing out over my tongue. 

Yes, maybe someday…

“So, do you have any plans…” I heard my mom say.  They were still in the kitchen, and the window was open.  “I just mean, it would be wonderful if you could stay… you know, if you could stay the night.”

My heart swelled a couple sizes then and there.  I’d dreamt of my parents getting back together for the last two years.

I frowned and looked up to the sky again.  But if Paul stayed, that meant Joshua would stay the night too.

I guess I had to take the good with the bad.

And Joshua was definitely bad.  Baddy, bad, bad.

Bad…

Parts of me, down low, warmed to that thought.  I felt myself quiver with anticipation.

No!  I wouldn’t think like that.  I wouldn’t
feel
like that!

I didn’t feel like that, did I?

I clasped my hands on my arms, hugging myself.

I walked toward the front of the house and sat down on the front porch swing, sitting unnoticed for a while in the shade, watching the cars drive by, and one by one my party guests leaving.

Mom came out and sat beside me, her hair now perfect again, a deeply happy expression on her face.  “Why are you out here by yourself, my perfect girl?”

I cringed inwardly at her calling me
perfect
.  I was anything but.

“Kinda partied out.”  Which wasn’t a lie.  I’d had enough of my graduation party.  Kind of like eating too much cake on your birthday.

Mom reached over and played with a lock of my hair.

More than anything I wanted to curl up in my mom’s lap and have her tell me everything was going to be okay.  But I’d known for a long time that wasn’t something that would hold true.

So I leaned against her shoulder as she gently caressed my hair with her fingers.

A little comfort and no pie crust promises.

Mary Poppins
had been my favorite movie growing up.  And I believed in many of its values.

Except that there was a true happy ending out there, somewhere…

Not really.

A happy ending was just a story that hadn’t ended yet.

Chapter 6

I helped mom clean up.  I did the dishes while she and Paul cleared the trash from the house and back yard.  It wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.  My teammates weren’t a bunch of animals, and my family were all compulsive cleaners.  So there wasn’t much left to do after everyone left.

Joshua was MIA.  But that wasn’t a surprise.

He was probably off with Katie, plying her with more alcohol in the garage.

I bit my lip as I washed out another coffee mug.  At least I hoped he was somewhere like the garage. 

What if he
was
screwing her in the garage… in my car?  I’d never be able to clean my little red Nissan enough. 

There wasn’t enough upholstery cleaner in North Carolina.

I groaned.

What if he was in my room… on my bed?

Yuck!

But what if he was in my room, on my bed… with me?

Again my body betrayed me, getting hot and tingly when all I wanted was…

What I wanted was for Joshua to kiss me again.

No, no I didn’t.

Mom and Paul passed by the kitchen, heading in the general direction of mom’s bedroom.

She grabbed hold of the doorway to the kitchen and pulled herself back to lock eyes with me.

“Leave everything else until morning, sweetie.”

“Okay.”

Paul pulled on her and she struggled, laughing as she kept hold of the doorway.  “I don’t know where your brother is, but would you make up the couch for him?”  More laughter as his arms let go of her and then curled around her waist, pulling her to him.

“Goodnight sweetie!” mom cooed, disappearing down the hall.

Goodnight?  It was five p.m.

I shook my head.  I would have to make sure my music was turned up tonight.

Which was good.

Especially if they made it work this time.

This time…

I finished the dishes, dried my hands and headed for the hall closet to grab the guest sheets.  I smiled when I saw the pastel bunnies, poking out from behind the plain navy blue sheets we used for guests.  The bunnies had been mine back when I was eleven.

Perfect.

I heard someone choking and gagging across the hall in the bathroom. And then the telltale splash of vomit.

I knocked softly on the door and then opened it.

Joshua was on his hands and knees, shivering, with his face turned bone white and a string of drool hanging from his lips.

Uhg…

Just what I wanted… a puking stepbrother on my graduation day.

I rolled my eyes at my own bitterness.

Mom and dad were down the hall, possibly working out some of the issues that had split them up in the first place.

Even with this, it had been a fantastic day.

I walked toward him, grabbed a washcloth from the shelf and poured cold water over it, and then wrung it out. 

I sat on the edge of the tub and placed the washcloth against the back of Joshua’s neck.

“At least you puked in the toilet.  Much easier to clean up that way.”

“Go… away.”

I smiled to myself.  Part of me was happy, got a warm, satisfied feeling from Joshua puking his guts out.  It served him right.

But part of me was beside myself.  That part of me wanted to wrap my arms around Joshua and make all his pain go away.

I probably needed therapy.

Just something else I would have to take care of, after college, and after I got a great job with exceptional health insurance.

Something occurred to me just then.  “Why are you puking?”

Joshua glared at me.

“I mean, you have a flask and all, so why are you sick?  I thought that happened the first time you got drunk.”  At least that’s how it went on all those lousy after school specials. 

Joshua just knelt there, praying to the porcelain god, his eyes closed in misery.

I smiled as it dawned on me, and then I let out a little laugh.

“That was the first time you drank, wasn’t it?”

“I thought… I asked you to…
go away
.”

So much for my worldly jerk of a stepbrother.

I should have known.  Paul would have had his head if Joshua had been drinking regularly.  You just couldn’t hide things form Paul.

Well, except for today.  But I think he came here with mom on his mind.

I could relate.  I’d been thinking about Joshua all week, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

I patted his back and stood up, feeling strange and fuzzy and warm all over.

“When you can pry yourself away from the toilet, I made up the couch for you.  And there are a couple little cans of Canada Dry ginger ale in the fridge.  It helps with the nausea.”

I walked out of the bathroom, put the pastel bunnies back in the linen closet, took out the navy sheets and made up the couch for Joshua. 

I went to my room, shutting and locking my door.

I changed out of my dress and pulled on my softest pajamas—my
Love Pink
jammies.

My
Train Like a Girl
t-shirt was lying on the bottom of the bed.

I didn’t remember taking it out of the closet.

Weird. 

I pulled up my covers and fell asleep instantly.

My family was back… kind of.

We’d see how things stood in the morning.  It all might have been a one-time thing, a mistake.

I hoped not.

***

I heard the door to my bedroom squeak as it opened.

Joshua slipped in and closed the door behind him.

I didn’t say a word, I just stared as he came over to me, walking in slow motion, his gaze locked on mine.  I felt my flesh tingling, my blood boiling in my veins, and my lungs burning from exertion.

He leaned down next to my bed, his faded green eyes bright in the darkness.

Okay, that was weird.  His eyes were glowing.

Like a werewolf or something…

He reached out and touched my cheek, and then slowly pushed my hair away from my face.

And then he kissed me, slow and soft and oh, so delicious.

He tasted just like he had that first time two years ago.  Like raspberries and his own special flavor.

Again my brain put on the brakes and turned on the caution lights.

He should have tasted awful; he’d just puked.

And how did he get in my room?  I’d locked the door.

“Because,” he said as he leaned up and looked down at me, his eyes glowing freaking purple now.  “This is a dream, princess.”

I felt a sense of panic.  I didn’t want this to be a dream.  I wanted to be kissing Joshua.  I wanted to be with him.

I wanted him so damn badly.

Joshua opened his mouth to show me his fangs. 

“Wake the hell up!”

I sat up in bed like a spring-loaded jack-in-the-box.  I was gasping and clutching the sheets to my chest.  My flesh was sweaty and my heart just thudded like a maniacal beat box from hell.

I looked around my room.  It was daylight outside, and I was all alone.

Disappointment seeped into my soul, and then my alarm clock went off, screeching like someone was killing a parakeet.  

It had only been a dream…

I couldn’t say I was happy about it.

My eyes flitted over to my closet and my
Train Like a Girl
t-shirt.

The one I’d been wearing when Joshua and I had kissed two years ago.

My stomach fluttered with nervousness.