Stepbrother JEEZ! (The Stepbrother Romance Series - Book #4) (4 page)

“Okay. Get a shower; I’ll hang out here and watch
the pre-game commentary and then we’ll walk over to the house and get a few
beers in you.”

***

I got a quick shower and changed into a tee shirt
and jeans,
then
Jeremy and I walked across campus
together to the frat house. I was tense as we walked through the door—thinking
that Jaxon still might be there. But in a matter of moments it was obvious that
Jeremy’s offer had been a true one—it would just be
me and
the guys I always hung out with, nothing more complicated than that
.
“Mia! Hey guys, our mascot came back to us!” someone joked that they were going
to start raiding and searching the other frats to find me—that they were
convinced that one of the other groups had abducted me to ransom me back to Phi
Kappa, or something like that.

Someone put a beer in my hands and the shit-talking
got started almost immediately; everyone was making bets on teams, on
individual players, on points and conversions, and I was in the thick of it
like I had always been before, laughing and starting to relax.

I hadn’t completely realized just how tense I’d
been, just how on edge, until I started to relax. Someone got me another beer
and the game started. None of us had a vested interest in either of the
teams—no one was a fan—but a game was a game, and just as Jeremy had promised,
this one was a total shit-show. I was
screaming at the TV
right along with them, laughing as the jokes flew back and forth, as everyone
got into it
. It was so good to be back around the guys I’d been hanging
out with so much until things had gotten so weird and screwed up between
me and Jaxon
.

For the first time in weeks, I was able to
completely forget about Jaxon—about him being my stepbrother, about having sex
with him. I was surprised at how easy it was; after all, we’d had sex on the
same couch I was sitting
in the middle of
. But I
didn’t even really think about it at all. I was so involved in the game, so
wrapped up in talking to the guys and having a good time that it didn’t even
matter to me what was going on. The best part of all of it was that no one
mentioned Jaxon. Everyone either didn’t know or didn’t care—they wanted to hang
out with me because I was their friend, I was the girl who could drink with the
guys, who liked to watch the game and bitch about the bad calls and make fun of
the players.

It was so much fun, and I was getting back to normal
before it was even half-time. Everything was exactly the way I’d liked it, and
the beer was flowing. If I wasn’t careful, I would end up wandering around campus
lost and drunk—but I had to prove that I was just as capable of handling my
alcohol as I had always been, and I was more than happy to prove it. Jeremy and
Alex argued about which of the women on the cheer and dance teams were the
hottest and I threw my vote in; Peter and I argued for a full five minutes
about whether something was a foul or a throw. It was just such a relief to be
back in the spot I’d occupied, with nothing changed between
me
and the guys
. It was good to have fun, to relax and just enjoy myself
without beating my brains bloody thinking about someone I couldn’t have. For a
long time I didn’t even think about Jaxon at all—which surprised me when I
realized it later. But it was good. It was so good that I stopped paying
attention to time, and just let the warm buzz of alcohol and friendly banter
wash over me and through me. I couldn’t possibly want anything more.

Chapter
Five

I was having such a good time that I didn’t even pay
attention to how late it was getting. I should have known better; I should have
been at least a little aware of the fact that just because Jaxon had a late
class, it didn’t mean that he would be away from the frat house all night. I
should have realized that he would eventually come home and that I should be
away from the frat before that happened.

But I was so relieved to be thinking of anything but
Jaxon for once that I didn’t even consider the possibility of him coming home.
It was stupid, but he was a million miles away from my mind. So when he did
come home finally, it hit me with a shock like someone dumping a gallon of ice
water over me. I didn’t hear the door—I was busy, right next to the guys,
shouting at the TV, making fun of the post-show commentary and highlights.
There was no way that Jaxon knew I was hanging out either—Jeremy, knowing that
there was something between Jaxon and me even if he didn’t know what,
definitely wouldn’t have told Jaxon.

“
Yo
,
yo
!”
the call from the front door, shouted out right before the door closed, sent a
jolt through me. For a half-second I told myself it was one of the other
upperclassmen getting home from classes, greeting the throng of frat brothers
hanging out in the living room—it was exactly the way that any of them greeted
the rest when they walked in. But deep down, in spite of my half-second of
denial, I recognized Jaxon’s voice. I knew it was
him
in an instant. The red Solo cup in my hand shifted—I almost dropped it. My
heart was pounding in my chest long before I let myself believe who it was.

When Jaxon walked through the hall to the entryway
of the living room, any doubt I might have had vanished completely. I realized
in a sudden rush that the moment he’d called out to greet whoever was hanging
out, everyone around me had gone silent too. Blood flooded into my face as I
looked around quickly—every guy sitting around the TV had gone completely
quiet. They glanced down at their cups, a few of them glanced at Jaxon, and a
few of them glanced at me. I realized that it wasn’t just Jeremy that knew that
there was something going on between Jaxon and me. My throat went tight and my
mouth went dry.

I wanted nothing more than to run out of the room.
This had been a huge, huge mistake.
Fuck.
But I knew that if I ran away, I could say goodbye to the guys completely; I’d
never be able to live down the humiliation of running out of the frat house
like a total coward just because Jaxon had shown up. Jaxon’s bright eyes swept
across the room and then fell on me, and the blood drained from my face before
flooding it again. “Hey, Mia,” he said, smiling slightly.

“Hey, Jaxon,” I replied, somehow managing to keep my
voice normal. I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment. Everyone
sitting around me suddenly decided to at least pretend to watch TV, to be
interested in the post-game commentary. Someone joked that one of the
commentators looked like a walking penis, everyone laughed uneasily. Someone
else made a comment about how wrong the other one was about a particular call,
and before I knew it, all of the guys couldn’t possibly think of anything more
interesting than what was on TV.

I knew that they were still listening, still paying
attention to what was going on—the tension in the air wasn’t quite as dense as
it had been before, but it still felt thick enough to cut with a knife. I
looked at Jaxon; he licked his lips. “Can I talk to you for a second alone,
Mia?” he asked, pitching his voice loud enough for me to hear—for anyone to
hear—but not loud enough to be obvious.

Shit.
Shit.
Bad idea.
Bad idea.
Part of my brain was sounding alarms
like
the
chem
lab was on fire; I should not be in a room alone with
Jaxon. I should refuse to do it. I should just brush it off to avoid the
awkwardness and stay with the guys who had invited me.

But at the same time, I knew it would come to this
eventually. We’d absolutely have to deal with each other, one way or another,
at some point. I’d been avoiding Jaxon for days and days, and the snowboarding
practice had thrown me—in a big way—but I couldn’t honestly tell myself that I
could just avoid him for the rest of my life and never be in a room alone with
him. After all, our parents were married; even if we could avoid each other on
campus, there was no way to never be involved in each other’s lives again.
There was winter break, there was spring break, and there would be years and
years of more times where we’d have to manage to be around each other.

I shrugged, glancing around me to see how the other
guys were reacting. I had a sudden fear; how much had Jaxon actually told them?
Who
had he told—and who knew about the “situation”
just because it was impossible for the frat to keep anything a secret? Did they
all know that Jaxon and I had had sex—or was it just that there was something
“up” between us, and nothing more? If I went to talk to Jaxon alone, would it
be a situation where the moment I left the room they’d be talking about me just
like any of the other girls who caught feelings for one of the brothers and
came around long after they were no longer welcome?

I couldn’t really imagine them treating me like any
other hang-around girl. I mean, Jeremy had invited me, and obviously long
before Jaxon had gotten home they’d all known something was up, but they had
acted
like
nothing at all had changed. Until they’d
reacted to Jaxon showing up, I hadn’t even known that anyone other than Jeremy
knew about it. I was safe. I had a reputation among the guys that had already
been in place before Jaxon and I had had anything to do with each other. I took
another breath.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, tossing my cup into the nearby
trash bin. I stood up on shaky legs, telling myself firmly to stay calm, cool,
and composed. If I acted
like
it wasn’t a big deal,
then no one else would feel the need to talk about it.

I noticed as I stepped closer to Jaxon and let him
lead the way up the stairs that the room had gone quiet—and then everyone
started talking like before.
If it’s
going to be like this every time Jaxon shows up, what’s the point?
I shook
my head. If Jaxon and I could sort things out, it would go back to completely
normal soon enough.

Jaxon led me through the hall and down to his room,
opening the door and throwing his book bag across the floor to land next to his
closet before he walked over to the desk and sat down. I almost climbed up onto
his bed, the same as I had always done when we’d just been friends, when he’d
been tutoring me and nothing was weird between us; but then in a flash I
realized that being in or on his bed was the worst possible idea—it wasn’t like
either of us needed any encouragement to be attracted or turned on by the other.
I leaned against the chest of drawers, feeling uncomfortable and awkward.

In spite of the fact that Jaxon was dressed in
regular clothes, in spite of the fact that he was definitely not going down a
practice slope, I could feel all the tingling, anticipating feelings I’d had
earlier. This was bad. This was a horrible idea. I licked my lips as the
silence dragged on between us, feeling my heart beating faster with a mixture
of fear and attraction. God, I thought, Jaxon was too hot—I couldn’t resist looking
at him, even though I knew it was a terrible idea. I remembered all in a flash
what he looked like naked: the rippling muscle under his skin, the way his cock
looked, long and heavy and thick, the way his eyes darkened when he looked at
me. It wasn’t fair. “So,” I said, clearing my throat to try and get rid of the
tight, dry feeling, “you wanted to talk.” I swallowed. It was no good—I could
feel my body heating up, I could feel my nipples starting to harden at the
memory of Jaxon teasing me, fingering me, licking and sucking me and thrusting
hard and fast inside of me. Just the thought of it was enough to make me wet. I
had to get this over
with
.

“I want you,” Jaxon said, blurting it out all at
once. He looked at me levelly, his voice flat, only the faintest trace of a
smile on his face. “I know it’s fucked up and I shouldn’t, but I do.”

“I know,” I said, clenching my teeth, trying to push
down the rising feeling of need that threatened to overwhelm me. “I want you
too. Fuck—you have no idea! But we can’t, Jaxon.”

“We could,” he said. “No one here knows about our
parents. I’m definitely not going to tell anyone about that stupid shit—
are
you?” I shrugged. I didn’t really think I would. It was
just too weird. “So we could see each other while we’re here on campus. No
one’s going to care.” I shook my head.

“We can’t,
Jax
. I mean, it
was hard enough to be around you at Bob’s house and we hadn’t had sex in
weeks—we weren’t able to go more than a couple of days without screwing!” I
shook my head again. “Imagine how much harder it would be for both of us to
have to pretend like everything
is
fine and dandy and
normal and we don’t even see each other that way if we’re seeing each other
here.” Jaxon pressed his lips together, looking down at his feet.

“My dad’s oblivious anyway,” he said, smiling
hopefully. “And as long as we just give each other space at home…”

“No. Jaxon—if we pulled it off, do you know how it
would go? They’d make us spend time alone together and we wouldn’t be able to
help ourselves. And then they’d catch us again, and then it would be a big ugly
mess again. We can’t do it. You know we can’t.”

“What do you want to do?” Jaxon combed his fingers
through his hair, slipping his beanie completely off of his head. It was
impossible for me not to notice how good he looked, his hair all mussed. I
swallowed and took a deep breath.